Recently, I've been writing jokes for the popular movie director George Lucas (a good man, a kind man, please leave him be). He told me he's been going through a spot of depression, and could do with cheering up. Apparently, the only way to do this is with powerful anti-depressants and Star Wars jokes.
Here are the Star Wars jokes that my own father, Father George Lucas, asked me to write for him.
ANSWER: He just does. It's a coincidence.
QUESTION: Why is Ben Kenobi so boring to listen to?
ANSWER: Because he’s all like “Yoda Yoda Yoda” (“Yadda yadda yadda”).
QUESTION: What does C3-PO’s vomit look like?
ANSWER: One of those razzing party blower things coming out of his mouth.
QUESTION: What does the “JJ” in JJ Abram’s stand for?
ANSWER: Jar Jar.
QUESTION: Does George Lucas (like us)?
ANSWER: No - he hates us!
QUESTION: How does Jabba the Hutt go to the toilet?
ANSWER: Just does it wherever.
QUESTION: What's the last thing you want to think about before you go to sleep tonight?
ANSWER: George Lucas doing a poo out of a window.
QUESTION: Why did Darth Vader cut off Luke Skywalker's hand?
ANSWER: He's a terrible father.
QUESTION: Why did Princess Leia kiss Luke Skywalker?
ANSWER: Incest reasons.
QUESTION: What do comedians use when they become a Jedi?
ANSWER: They use The Farce.
QUESTION: Why does Chewbacca make those noises?
ANSWER: He's saying "I'm in terrible pain and I miss my son. Why won't you help?"
That's enough now. I'm really sick of telling Star Wars jokes. Bye.