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THE MAN'S DADDY - Hilarious Star Wars Comedy Jokes

16/1/2015

13 Comments

 
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I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. You may have heard of me. I'm the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. I have no idea what that means.

Recently, I've been writing jokes for the popular movie director George Lucas (a good man, a kind man, please leave him be). He told me he's been going through a spot of depression, and could do with cheering up. Apparently, the only way to do this is with powerful anti-depressants and Star Wars jokes.

Here are the Star Wars jokes that my own father, Father George Lucas, asked me to write for him.

QUESTION: Why does R2D2 resemble a bin?
ANSWER: He just does. It's a coincidence.
 
QUESTION: Why is Ben Kenobi so boring to listen to? 

ANSWER: Because he’s all like “Yoda Yoda Yoda” (“Yadda yadda yadda”).

QUESTION: What does C3-PO’s vomit look like?
ANSWER: One of those razzing party blower things coming out of his mouth.

QUESTION: What does the “JJ” in JJ Abram’s stand for? 

ANSWER: Jar Jar.

QUESTION: Does George Lucas (like us)?
ANSWER: No - he hates us!

QUESTION: How does Jabba the Hutt go to the toilet?
ANSWER: Just does it wherever.


QUESTION: What's the last thing you want to think about before you go to sleep tonight?
ANSWER: George Lucas doing a poo out of a window.


QUESTION: Why did Darth Vader cut off Luke Skywalker's hand?
ANSWER: He's a terrible father.


QUESTION: Why did Princess Leia kiss Luke Skywalker?
ANSWER: Incest reasons.


QUESTION: What do comedians use when they become a Jedi?
ANSWER: They use The Farce.

QUESTION: Why does Chewbacca make those noises? 
ANSWER: He's saying "I'm in terrible pain and I miss my son. Why won't you help?"

That's enough now. I'm really sick of telling Star Wars jokes. Bye.

13 Comments
Dacanesta
16/1/2015 07:15:54 am

Well, those are my favourite of the recent mans daddy jokes. What are yours guys? G....guys?

Reply
Jabberwoc
16/1/2015 07:21:46 am

"Moving, evocative, a TRIUMPH!" - Empire.

Reply
Deutschland
16/1/2015 07:28:22 am

I haven't laughed so much since Pudsey the movie.

Reply
Gaijintendo
16/1/2015 07:48:25 am

Did it work? I felt for sure the "he hates us" would be the ticket!

Reply
Dacanesta
16/1/2015 06:26:36 pm

I have no idea what you mean, but! Are you in japan by any chance?

Reply
George
17/1/2015 02:18:20 am

I am, if that's any consolation.

Cthulhu Steev
16/1/2015 08:25:26 am

Jabba the Hutt's toilet habits are going to have my chortling to myself at the worst times

Reply
FEoD link
17/1/2015 02:28:16 am

I know. Makes me think that even if he did use the proper facilities, you wouldn't want to go in there immediately after him, would you? Poor Bib Fortuna. The "spacious desert palace seeks roommate" advert on Craigslist was always going to be too good to be true...

Reply
Cthulhu Steev
17/1/2015 03:23:34 am

Yeah, I bet he has an hellacious bum (Salacious Crumb) behind him.

Abigcatface
16/1/2015 02:54:36 pm

QUESTION: What's Anakin Skywalker's favourite Sex Pistols song?
ANSWER: Padme the U.K.

Reply
Moot
16/1/2015 04:17:06 pm

QUESTION: Why did i laugh at these jokes?
ANSWER: I found them highly amusing.

Reply
Cthulhu Steev
17/1/2015 02:02:48 am

Q: Who was the best stormtrooper?
A: That one outside Biffo's house with the brolly.

Reply
Treacle
4/5/2017 01:28:35 pm

QUESTION: How did they know Boba Fett was scared when he fell in to the Sarlacc pit?
ANSWER: He had Skiff marks on his underpants.

Reply



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