THE MAN'S DADDY: HILARIOUS JEREMY CORBYN JOKES

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. Apologies for my shaky handwriting, but I can't stop trembling: I've been gripped with existential terror ever since the election of new Labour leader Jeremy "Beadle" Corbyn. 

I heard that he presents a threat to our national security, economic security, and my family's security, and wipes his bottom on Remembrance Day poppies, and uploads the videos to a Tumblr account jointly run by ISIS and the Provisional IRA and a Dracula.

The only way I know how to cope with the imminent destruction of our way of life is by writing excellent jokes, mocking and undermining Corbyn's wayward, dangerous, lefty ideology. Please assist my campaign further by laughing at these jokes, and writing to your local MP describing your laugh. Anyway, here are the jokes, ok? Ok then. Bye. Yeah - bye. See you soon. Ok. Bye? Bye. I hope my jokes are ok, yeah.

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QUESTION: Who is Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's favourite rapper?
ANSWER: MC Hammer and Sickle.

QUESTION: Why is Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn never out of milk?
ANSWER: Because he has the mos' cows (Moscow/most cows).

QUESTION: Why is Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's bed so comfy?
ANSWER: He has "Lenin" sheets.

QUESTION: Why did Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn take his car to the garage?
ANSWER: It kept Stalin (stallin').

QUESTION: Why did Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn fit skis to his horse?
ANSWER: He wanted to see if it could Trotsky (trot-ski).

QUESTION: What is Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's favourite Robbie Williams song?
ANSWER: Engels (Angels).

QUESTION: Why does Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn like crustaceans?
ANSWER: He's a seashellist (socialist).

QUESTION: What is Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's favourite vegetable?
ANSWER: Trade onions.

QUESTION: Where does Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's buy his shirts?
ANSWER: Marx and Spencers.

QUESTION: Why did Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn win the leadership election?
ANSWER: He has the Maoist (most) supporters.

QUESTION: What sort of oil does Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn use on his violin?
ANSWER: Fiddle Castrol (Fidel Castro) 

QUESTION: Why is Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn so out of breath?
ANSWER: He's always Russian (rushin') about!

QUESTION: Why did Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn need a new curtain pole?
ANSWER: He tried to fit a pair of iron curtains!

QUESTION: What does Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn rub into his chest when he has a cold?
ANSWER: Bolsheviks Vapour Rub.

QUESTION: Why does Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn only ride his bicycle at nearly 20-past-seven in the evening during one particular Autumn month?
ANSWER: Because he wants his own 19:17 October Revolution.

QUESTION: Why does Jeremy Corbyn refuse to use upper case letters?
ANSWER: Because he wants to abolish capitalism.
 
QUESTION: How does Jeremy Corbyn like to relax?
ANSWER: By going to a prole-dancing club.

QUESTION: Where does Jeremy Corbyn go on holiday?
ANSWER: Billy Bragg's Red Shed.

FROM THE ARCHIVE:

• THE MAN'S DADDY'S EXCELLENT SUMMER HOLIDAY JOKES
  
• THE MAN'S DADDY'S HILARIOUS CHICKEN JOKES
  
• THE MAN'S DADDY: POLITICAL JOKES