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THE MAN'S DADDY: HILARIOUS BREXIT JOKES!

29/3/2017

18 Comments

 
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Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy.

​It has been drawn to my attention that today is the day that the British government triggers Article 50, marking the formal notice of Britain's withdrawal from the European Union.

As a popular comedian, who specialises in topical humour, it is my job to turn this historical event into an hysterical one, by writing as many great topical jokes as possible. 

Unfortunately, I've no idea if any of these jokes are any good, as I don't really understand what all this fuss over Brexit is all about. I have no problems with my neighbours, and they're all Foreigners.

​Specifically, they are members of the British-American rock band Foreigner. The only trouble I've had with them is 'I Want To Know What Love Is' blasting through the wall 24-7, and vocalist Lou Gramm once having a bath in my garden pond, while doing a poo at the same time.

Anyway. It's time for those Brexit jokes. I hope you like them. Well, bye then. Yeah, bye. Hope you like the Brexit jokes I've done. Bye, yeah? Okay, bye. Bye. Enjoy the jokes, yeah? 

QUESTION: What are the ingredients of a Brexit Flan?
ANSWER: Crusty bird turds and flan mix! 

QUESTION: What do you get if you cross a Brexiteer with a noose?
​ANSWER: Brexit!

QUESTION: What's the best way of uniting Britain following Brexit?
​ANSWER: The unexpected death of an attractive Royal!

QUESTION: How many Brexiteers does it take to change a horse's bridle?
​ANSWER: 17,410,742 - one to replace the noseband, and another 17,410,741 to stick their heads into the horse's anus looking for magic solutions to issues such as immigration, unemployment, and poverty and stuff that at best isn't really going to change that much!

QUESTION: What sort of noise does Brexit make?
​ANSWER: Tah-waaaaaaangggg-gggg-ggg-ggg... oh no!

QUESTION: When British people are no longer European, what will they be known as?
ANSWER: "You ripe peens!"

QUESTION: How did Theresa May trigger Article 50?
​ANSWER: By aiming a trebuchet at France, and firing a bag of semen out of it!

QUESTION: Which celebrities backed Brexit?
​ANSWER: The most stupid ones!

QUESTION: Why did so many people vote for Brexit?
​ANSWER: They're probably all at least a little bit racist, even if they don't realise it!

QUESTION: What do you call a Brexiteer wearing lipstick and a top hat?
​ANSWER: The star of the show!

QUESTION: How did Peter Pan vote in the EU Referendum?
​ANSWER: He sadly forgot to do so!

QUESTION: What sort of bed do Brexiteers like to lie in?
​ANSWER: A bed comprised of a single nail, but at least, y'know, Muslims and that.

QUESTION: If Donald Trump is building a wall to keep out Mexicans, what will Britain be building to keep out the foreigners who aren't already here?
​ANSWER: A "B.T." (big trellis)!

QUESTION: What was the official slogan of the campaign to leave the EU?
ANSWER: "Everything will get worse when we go - yeah!"

QUESTION: Following Brexit, and the inevitable second Scottish Independence Referendum, what will McDonald's be known as in the remainder of the UK?
ANSWER: Donald's.

QUESTION: Following Brexit, and the inevitable second Scottish Independence Referendum, what will Burger King be known as in the remainder of the UK?
ANSWER: "Nanny's Hole".

QUESTION: Why are we still going ahead with Brexit?
ANSWER: Nobody really knows - but it's happening anyway!

QUESTION: Brexit is to Lex Luther as Lex Luther is to...
ANSWER: Pungles.

QUESTION: What is a good physical metaphor for Brexit?
ANSWER: A load of peanuts falling out of a snood!
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
​THE MAN'S DADDY: RACIST JOKES
THE MAN'S DADDY'S HILARIOUS CHICKEN JOKES
THE MANS DADDY'S CROONER JOKES
18 Comments
RichardM
29/3/2017 12:19:33 pm

A triumphant return to political satire for the Man's Daddy: the pooing in a pond bit got me good. Ian Hislop had better watch out.

Reply
Treacle
29/3/2017 12:51:11 pm

On the Today programme on Radio 4 this morning one of the political analysts used the metaphor of marrowfat peas pouring out of a cracked Toby jug to describe Brexit. Or at least I think that's what he said.

Reply
AcidBeard
29/3/2017 02:26:59 pm

Q: what do brexiters say when they're cold?
A: Brrrrrrrrrrrrexit

Q: What does Tony the Tiger have to say about brexit?
A: Grrrrrrrrrexit

Q: Your mum?
A: Sexit.

Reply
Toilet King
29/3/2017 11:06:28 pm

Q: What do brexiters say when you're cold?
A: It's our fault!

Reply
Salem
29/3/2017 03:41:57 pm

Q: What does man of the people & causal racist Nigel Farage call the omelet meal he has first thing in the morning?
A: Break-Egg-Fast (Brexit)

Reply
Nick
29/3/2017 03:42:23 pm

The Man's Daddy: Another leftie luvvie comedian trying to stamp on the democratic rights of hard working Britons. It's the media bias I tell you!

Reply
David W
29/3/2017 05:18:05 pm

It should have been called Super Article 58.

Reply
Si
30/3/2017 03:55:34 am

Cheers Mr Biffo! I was expecting a mordant chuckle today, but turd flans and 'nanny's hole' generated actual hoots of laughter.

Reply
Mr Biffo
30/3/2017 07:24:36 am

Hurrah!

Reply
Gaijintendo
30/3/2017 08:34:42 am

A: Minus 17,410,742!

Reply
Starbuck
30/3/2017 06:54:05 pm

What do you call the last remaining puddle of vomit spewed out by Murdoch et al's Brexit lie machine as the country goes down the pan?

Dregs-sick (Brexit)

Reply
CrispyF
30/3/2017 09:10:42 pm

This has all made me very sad. I don't want to go back to the seventies. It was shit.

Reply
Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
30/3/2017 10:18:17 pm

As a longtime Digi fan, only just found this digitiser2000 lark, I'd have to say I love seeing The Man's Daddy again.
Gives me a warm and cosy feeling.

Reply
Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
30/3/2017 10:33:40 pm

Aside from that, I realised quite a while ago that there is no point pinning your flag to one political party or t'other as they're all wankers who don't care about you or I.
Well that's what I reckon anyways.

Reply
Jerry Me Corbins
31/3/2017 12:07:53 am

The best, and in fact possibly only good thing, to come out of Brexit.

The Man's Daddy should be invited on to Question Time IMHO.

Reply
Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
31/3/2017 12:16:40 am

Damn right!

Reply
C
31/3/2017 08:33:27 pm

Best jokes ever, MD.

Reply
Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
31/3/2017 08:50:48 pm

Absolutely.
Regardless of any political persuasion (couldn't care less) I love The Man's Daddy.
I've been out of the gaming loop for a while and I know it's a long way off but I'm hoping there's a Digi Christmas panto to look forward to like in the old days?

Reply



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