THE MAN'S DADDY: ED BALLS JOKES

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy.

It's rare that I venture into political jokes, but as today is a special day in the political calendar - the anniversary of the day that a shivering and embryonic Ed Balls emerged from his silken meat truss into the harsh and unforgiving dazzle of the modern world - I have written a number of excellent Ed Balls jokes.

Well, I say they're excellent, but I don't really know. I wrote most of them while blindfolded, and driving a car. I hope they're okay. I guess you'll be the judge of that. 

Anyway. Here they are (the jokes). Hope you like them. Hope they're not too bad. Bye then. Yeah, bye. Really hope you like the jokes. Yeah, bye. Bye then. Bye. Ed Balls.

---

QUESTION: Why can't you eat Ed Balls?
ANSWER: He's almost in-Ed-i-Balls (inedible)!

QUESTION: Why did Ed Balls cross the road?
ANSWER: Ed Balls.

QUESTION: Why didn't the police take a statement from Ed Balls?
ANSWER: He wasn't a cre-Ed-i-Balls (credible) witness!

QUESTION: How many Ed Balls does it take to change a lightbulb?
ANSWER: Ed Balls.

QUESTION: Why are Ed Balls' family such misfits?
​ANSWER: You could say they're a bunch of EdBalls (oddballs).

QUESTION: What did the big Ed Balls say to the little Ed Balls?
ANSWER: Ed Balls.

QUESTION: Why do so many people love Ed Balls?
ANSWER: He's just so Ed-ora-Balls (adorable)!

QUESTION: What do you get if you cross Ed Balls with a kangaroo?
ANSWER: Ed Balls.

QUESTION: What is Ed Balls' favourite animated movie? ​
ANSWER: The Incr-Ed-i-Balls (The Incredibles)!

QUESTION: Why did Ed Balls wear two pairs of trousers to the golf course?
ANSWER: Ed Balls.

QUESTION: Why does Ed Balls go well on toast?
​ANSWER: He's so easily spr-Ed-i-Balls (spreadable).

KNOCK KNOCK.
Who's there?
ED BALLS.
Ed Balls who?
ED BALLS.

QUESTION: Why was Ed Balls so good at disguising his identity?
​ANSWER: It allowed him to lea-Ed a dou-Balls life (lead a double life)!

QUESTION: What did Ed Balls say to the mushroom?
ANSWER: Ed Balls.

QUESTION: Why couldn't Ed Balls hear what Jeremy Corbyn had to say?
​ANSWER: He was virtually in-Ed-i-Balls (inaudible)!

QUESTION: What gets wetter the more Ed Balls dries it?
ANSWER: Ed Balls.

QUESTION: Why is Ed Balls attracted to his mother?
​ANSWER: He suffers from an o-Ed-ip-Balls complex (oedipal complex)!

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
THE MAN'S DADDY'S HILARIOUS CHICKEN JOKES
THE MAN'S DADDY'S EXCELLENT SUMMER HOLIDAY JOKES
THE MAN'S DADDY: POLITICAL JOKES