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THE MAN'S DADDY - And his phabulous phunnies

12/12/2014

7 Comments

 
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Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. Among the many things I do is another thing: writing really excellent jokes for my amazing comedy routine.

Some of those jokes will be arriving here soon. Oh look - they're here already.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?
No - Doctor Harold Shipman. Just let me in.

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor – my foot is all swollen.
DOCTOR: I’m Harold Shipman.

QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road?
ANSWER: He was trying to avoid Harold Shipman.

QUESTION: What vessel did Harold Shipman go on holiday in?

ANSWER: A ship, man.

QUESTION: What does Harold Shipman put in the ground to make plants grow?
ANSWER: Seeds and bulbs.

QUESTION: What is Harold Shipman's favourite food?
ANSWER: Beard (bread).
 
QUESTION: Why did Harold Shipman wear glasses?
ANSWER: So he could see the things he was doing.

QUESTION: Did Harold Shipman ever own a dog?
ANSWER: I'd have to ask someone.

QUESTION: What's worse than Harold Shipman biting into an apple and finding a worm?
ANSWER: Harold Shipman himself.

Those were all excellent, tasteful jokes.

7 Comments
Antony
12/12/2014 11:14:30 am

Utterly utterly ridiculous. Utterly utterly brilliant.

Reply
Mr Biffo
12/12/2014 12:18:40 pm

The Man's Daddy thanks you.

Reply
elCroux
12/12/2014 11:23:54 am

Classic Shipman

Reply
Page471
12/12/2014 10:50:35 pm

You're right, they*are* excellent jokes. I have but one question, and it has plagued me for almost 20 years... is the Man's Daddy an elephant? He looks like Horace (of Horace goes skiing fame) wearing a wig, in a pink dress... with a trunk.

Reply
Mr Biffo
13/12/2014 05:25:31 am

The Man's Daddy is not an elephant, and that is not a trunk.

Reply
Ultrek994
13/12/2014 03:42:37 am

What do you call a blind picnic-matt? David Blanket (Blunket)

Reply
Will M
23/1/2015 01:46:03 pm

I told the "why did the chicken" etc. joke at work today. Someone laughed. Success!

Reply



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