
QUESTION: What is the hairiest board game in the world?
ANSWER: Chess Hair (chest hair)
QUESTION: Who is the most grateful actor in the world?
ANSWER: T.Hanks (thanks).
QUESTION: What is the main ingredient of peanuts?
ANSWER: Peanuts.
QUESTION: What is the worst-tasting fruit in the world?
ANSWER: A crap apple (crab apple).
QUESTION: What is the largest bird in the world?
ANSWER: Big Bird from Sesame Street.
QUESTION: How do you make a panda bear?
ANSWER: Shove coal in a polar bear’s eyes.
QUESTION: Which actor owns the most apple-picking equipment?
ANSWER: Orchard Gear (Richard Gere).
QUESTION: What’s the best way to ruin a football match?
ANSWER: Lose.
QUESTION: Why was Big Bird exiled from Sesame Street?
ANSWER: He laid an egg, and ate it in front of some kids.
Those were all amazing jokes. I'm going now. I've got to buy a hose, and I'm already late.