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THE GREAT STAR WARS BAKE-OFF! 23 TERRIBLE STAR WARS CAKES

20/10/2015

6 Comments

 
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Unless you're a racist on Twitter, you are no doubt today celebrating the release of the new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

​Literally the most exciting two minutes of footage ever conceived by mankind, the trailer promises the sort of Star Wars nonsense we wanted last time around, instead of all the trade delegations and taxation spiel. What better way to celebrate this than with cake(s)? Here are 23 of them.

23. THE CLONE WARS
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"It'll do."
22. LIGHT SABRES
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"What are you crying for, Ruby? I thought you liked spatulas."
21. R2-D2
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"It has been 30 years. You try getting to his age without putting on a bit of weight."
20. YODA
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"Four hours work. Four hours work and you roll your eyes..."
19. STAR WARS
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"Frank is the biggest Star Wars fan on the planet. He is gonna lose his mind when he sees it."
18. DARTH VADER
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"I've never watched Star Wars. How am I supposed to know Darth Vader isn't an angry little rodent?"
17. YODA
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"The secret ingredient is paint. Green paint."
16. CHEWBACCA
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"You don't know that Chewbacca has never had collagen injections in his lips. Star Wars isn't a true story anyway. It's stupid. And you're stupid and I hate you and I'm never making you a cake again."
15. CHEWBACCA
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"Don't eat the nose. I accidentally got frostbite, and the tip of my thumb fell off."
14. CHEWBACCA
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"Alright, it's not perfect, Eric, but you're 40 years old. You shouldn't even be having a Star Wars cake at your age. Go out and meet someone, instead of staying in your room shouting down at me to make you different types of cake."
13. CHEWBACCA
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"Whatever happened to Justin Lee Collins anyway?"
12. CHEWBACCA
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"Chewbacca love you, master...."
11. YODA
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"How exactly is it the single saddest thing you've ever laid eyes on?"
10. LUKE VS VADER
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"Now you know where all your Star Wars toys went, Tyler. The rest of them I melted down and mixed into the cake."
9. AT-AT
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"It's a reminder of everything she loves the most: Star Wars and eating disorders."
8. STORMTROOPER
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"It's a reminder of everything she loves the most: Star Wars and diarrhoea."
7. YODA
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"It's a reminder of everything she loves the most: Star Wars and thin-lipped grey goblins."
6. R2-D2
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"R2-D2? No no - it's meant to be a dehumidifier."
5. DARTH VADER
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"Remember when we saw that Darth Vader-shaped hot air balloon that deflated and crashed and killed all those people? Well... I've made a cake of that."
4. JABBA THE HUTT
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"You'd be sad and surprised too if you were melting."
3. JABBA THE HUTT
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"You did say you wanted the cake to look as if Jabba had smashed his face into a combine harvester, didn't you?"
2. DARTH VADER
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"It's a representation of Vader's diseased lung."
1. THE EMPEROR
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"Stop your whining, James, or I'll make you eat the candles too."
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
10 THINGS THAT LOOK EXACTLY LIKE LORD ALAN SUGAR
DISGUSTING: 10 PEOPLE WHO ARE SO DESPERATE FOR FAME THAT THEY'D EVEN EAT A TAPEWORM
16 TIMES RONALD McDONALD INDUCED NIGHTMARES


6 Comments
Trevor Cod
20/10/2015 12:48:45 pm

13 is Dave Grohl.

Reply
Yeah
20/10/2015 01:52:29 pm

All of these are great, some because they're so bad, some because they were obviously a labour of love

Reply
Koworld
20/10/2015 08:28:21 pm

I love you Mr Biffo.

Reply
Frank Starwars
20/10/2015 08:35:38 pm

I am offended to be on this list at No. 19. It's bad enough that I get stick about my surname at work, but from you too, Mr Biffo? For shame.

Reply
JonD link
20/10/2015 09:36:33 pm

Jabba the hut looks like a dead manatee covered in some sort of green slimemould. Mmmmm. Delicious

Reply
keithyt
21/10/2015 11:32:35 am

I can't breathe! (Meaning I am giggling very much at the accompanying captions)

Reply



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