With The Great British Bake-Off back on our screens, Britain has baking fever once more. But what does such a show have to offer we, the great British gaming public? Digitiser2000 attempts to remedy this oversight with a gallery of spectacular games hardware cakery.
"Greetings, cake artisan. I wish to buy a cake in the following form: Imagine the Commodore 64 didn't have a hard plastic shell, but was hewn from the lumps of ambergris that washed up on Hebridean beaches."
"Cake artisan, pray... did you never wonder what the ZX Spectrum would've looked like had it been subjected to the blast of a thermonuclear attack? Picture this image. Create my cake in its form."
"Cake artisan, please... I hate myself. I want a cake which encapsulates the sheer futility and failure which runs through my life like a ruddy sewer."
"Please, cake artisan, can I have a birthdo cake in the shape of my child's favourite console - the Game Box 17? Yes, it's a real thing. Don't forget to put a Dreamcast swirl in the top right corner, for some reason."
"Cake artisan, I would like my son to have cake which combines his three favourite things: the Sega Mega Drive, the number 25, and explosive diarrhoea."
"I think the tastiest colour in the world is grey. Don't you agree, cake artisan? Bake me the greyest thing you can think of."
"I could drink you under the table."
"No, I've never seen a Super Nintendo joypad, cake artisan, but let me try to describe to you, as best I understand it from hearsay..."
"Cake artisan, I want you to create a cake based upon this quick sketch I did of a thing I found in my child's bedroom. I think it's a calculator."
"Cake artisan, I wish to commemorate the day my son, Tom, was killed by falling in a tar pit on his birthday. He was clutching his favourite birthday present: a PlayStation."
"Cake artisan, I want you to create a cake based upon this Xbox 360 joypad, but you must create it while I wave it around in your face, and conceal it beneath a tea towel, only giving you glimpses of one part of it at a time."
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