Do you ever feel like you're not entirely the same as everyone else, that the world is depraved and full of weird perverts? I know we're not supposed to kinkshame, but if you've ever had the gross misfortune to stumble upon the world of fan fiction you'll have been exposed to some of the darker, more messed-up, elements of humanity. And, well, I don't care what you say; some of that stuff just ain't normal.
Nowhere is this more evident than the troublingly popular sub-genre of erotic Sonic The Hedgehog fan creations. Here's a brief sampling of the weirder, more awful, examples of amateur storytelling featuring the asexual hedgehog.
Please be aware... this gets rather NSFW.
Nowhere is this more evident than the troublingly popular sub-genre of erotic Sonic The Hedgehog fan creations. Here's a brief sampling of the weirder, more awful, examples of amateur storytelling featuring the asexual hedgehog.
Please be aware... this gets rather NSFW.
SONIC HIGH SCHOOL by DARKDOOMFIREMASTER
In this rather epic tale, in which all of Sonic's friends attend a sexy high school, Sonic's teacher is called "Mrs Lesson". Sonic gets embarrassed when she reads out a chapter from his journal, about how he's having a problem with his testicles. Chapter 1 ends when Sonic and Amy start kissing during history, but Sonic is once more left humiliated when Rouge brings up the issues with his "balls and penis and butthole".
Later, Sonic writes the following poetic entry in his journal: "A sickness still ravages my balls".
Later still, Tails has sex with Cream - who looks "like a beautiful naked man with a vagina". Furthermore, Tails' "penis got as hard as a printer because her vagina looked like a cold cut platter".
Yes: "hard as a printer".
Later still, Tails has sex with Cream - who looks "like a beautiful naked man with a vagina". Furthermore, Tails' "penis got as hard as a printer because her vagina looked like a cold cut platter".
Yes: "hard as a printer".
The story ends abruptly as Sonic returns to life - having previously been brutally murdered - and everyone engages in an filthy orgy. The Principal - who Sonic jokingly refers to as "The President" - congratulates Sonic for being the best, and Sonic pays a heartfelt tribute to his friends.
SONIC'S SUPER SEXY ADVENTURE by RENOMAKIFF
This story depicts a short battle between Sonic and Doctor Robotnik, which is "super sexy" only in as much as it spares no opportunity to find colourful terms to describe Sonic's genitals - aka his "floppy wanker". Additionally, the author explores a myriad of ways in which they get damaged.
FUNNY BUSINESS by THE REAL SONAMY FAN
An all-too brief tale in which Sonic and Amy enjoy a steamy, graphic, romp, before being interrupted by Tails. Notable because the characters are all wearing clothes (at the beginning at least).
SONIC'S ULTIMATE HAREM by LIL' SONIQ
A 50 chapter-long odyssey, which features a crossover between Mario, Sonic, Crash Bandicoot, Resident Evil and The Avengers - among other properties - and climaxes (quite literally) in a bawdy session between Sonic and Princess Peach, which lasts at least 48 minutes.
DIRTY FOREST by UNKNOWN WRITER XD
A troubling encounter between Sonic, Shadow and Scourge, which features the phrase "unexpected ass".
SEMI-EROTIC FANFIC ABOUT SONIC THE HEDHEHOG AND APPLEJACK by SINFULSTORIES03
An all-too brief coupling between Sonic and Applejack from My Little Pony, told in two parts: The Date, and The Backstory. In which they "watch Moana on Sonic's MacBook Air and have coitus".
I DON'T MIND by CIEL-AND-PAYTON
A heartfelt romance which finds Sonic and Tails having sex and declaring their love, but - there's a twist! As the author explains: "Sonic and Tails and everyone else who will be mentioned are humans". Which rather defeats the point of it all, I would've though, but what do I know?
Nggh!
Nggh!
SONIC SEXY JOURNER by FIVENIGHTSATFUKER
Though this stream-of-consciousness ramble never quite lives up to its name, this crossover for the ages features Sonic, Pokemon's Charizard, Waluigi, Thomas The Tank Engine, Slenderman, Darth Vader, Robbie Rotten, and others - beat that, Avengers!
Indeed, in comparison to most of the tales on this list, Sonic Sexy Journer is practically PG. Apart from one bit where the characters start choking one another while dancing. Because of course they do...
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