It's with great regret that we must begin to warn you that Digitiser2000's Mr Biffo is about to go into hospital (on holiday) to have his ribcage removed (to relax). Consequently, the next couple of weeks of Digitiser2000 will be somewhat quieter than you have become accustomed to.
The timing literally couldn't be better, given that the site has had one of its biggest months ever!!! Never mind.
Consequently, we have asked you - the Digitiser2000 readers - to plug at least some of the void that will be left in Biffo's wake, by sending us your letters, questions, and requests.
To this end, here's a selection of the dozen or so things we've received. Though "selection" might be pushing it, as we'll probably end up using every one we got sent.
If you'd like to appear on the Digitiser letters page, ploss... ploss send more of the emails/PCs, ploss, to digitiser2000@gmail.com
The timing literally couldn't be better, given that the site has had one of its biggest months ever!!! Never mind.
Consequently, we have asked you - the Digitiser2000 readers - to plug at least some of the void that will be left in Biffo's wake, by sending us your letters, questions, and requests.
To this end, here's a selection of the dozen or so things we've received. Though "selection" might be pushing it, as we'll probably end up using every one we got sent.
If you'd like to appear on the Digitiser letters page, ploss... ploss send more of the emails/PCs, ploss, to digitiser2000@gmail.com
THE PHANTOM PAIN
I only wrote in to Digitiser once. You asked if you "play skipping" or "do skipping". I pointed out that you do neither, you simply "skip". You didn't print it. I can only hope that you took it as sound advice for the future.
You might also be interested to know that my auto-correct just changed Digi to Dido.
Gary.
I only wrote in to Digitiser once. You asked if you "play skipping" or "do skipping". I pointed out that you do neither, you simply "skip". You didn't print it. I can only hope that you took it as sound advice for the future.
You might also be interested to know that my auto-correct just changed Digi to Dido.
Gary.
Why would we have printed that? It actually made a reasonable and accurate point. Also, whatever happened to Dido? Press reveal to find out.
REVEAL:
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
This is the start of a letter
The contents doesn't get any better
Let's not pretend
That this is the end
Lucas P.
This is the start of a letter
The contents doesn't get any better
Let's not pretend
That this is the end
Lucas P.
Press reveal to see what Alfred Lord Tennyson thinks of your poem.
REVEAL:
THE PHANTOM MENACE
FAO Dr. Benjamin Iffo, itinerant professor of Digitology:
I tried to think of a better subject for a letter, but I couldn't. So here we are, both of us rolling around in odious bovine bum-scrapings at the bottom of a barrel I've fashioned from animal dung like what happens all the time in Far Cry Primal, I imagine, and I am asking you: which are better, crisps or games?
Please settle the following very feasible standoffs:
Beef Hula Hoops vs. Superhot
Salt & Vinegar Discos vs. The Division
Pickled Onion Monster Munch vs. Bear Simulator
Thanks. No no – thanks. JUST ACCEPT THE THANKS AND WE WILL LEAVE IT THERE
Leigh L.
FAO Dr. Benjamin Iffo, itinerant professor of Digitology:
I tried to think of a better subject for a letter, but I couldn't. So here we are, both of us rolling around in odious bovine bum-scrapings at the bottom of a barrel I've fashioned from animal dung like what happens all the time in Far Cry Primal, I imagine, and I am asking you: which are better, crisps or games?
Please settle the following very feasible standoffs:
Beef Hula Hoops vs. Superhot
Salt & Vinegar Discos vs. The Division
Pickled Onion Monster Munch vs. Bear Simulator
Thanks. No no – thanks. JUST ACCEPT THE THANKS AND WE WILL LEAVE IT THERE
Leigh L.
Beef. The Division. Bear Simulator. Too easy.
DENNIS THE MENACE
I don't recall there being such a marked divide between the two major formats since the days of SNES & Megadrive. The major outlay for the hardware is definitely a major factor, as is life as a father. Gaming time is at more of a premium than ever, this is reflected by my gaming habits.
Gone are the days of ploughing hours into Fallout 4 (5 at most) or Ubisoft Pirate Shanking Simulator (only just done memory sequence 2), now it's quick fix match three puzzlers like Frozen Free Fall or games I can dip in or out of like the amazing Rogue Legacy or World Of Tanks. The Division? Not that bothered, Destiny lies unplayed here since the Taken King honeymoon ended. I should play Forza 6 or Halo 5 as they're ostensibly the reason I own a next gen console.
But I just can't justify playing them. I get more thrill watching Sarah & Duck with my son than shooting aliens in the face. Anyway, maybe that'll change when my co-op partner grows up a bit, but for now I'm happy to just play outside with him. Anyway, As opposed to the halcyon days of Digi when I was mostly drunk, I really do read you every day.
Ian aka cheneyheadshot on eggsbox
I don't recall there being such a marked divide between the two major formats since the days of SNES & Megadrive. The major outlay for the hardware is definitely a major factor, as is life as a father. Gaming time is at more of a premium than ever, this is reflected by my gaming habits.
Gone are the days of ploughing hours into Fallout 4 (5 at most) or Ubisoft Pirate Shanking Simulator (only just done memory sequence 2), now it's quick fix match three puzzlers like Frozen Free Fall or games I can dip in or out of like the amazing Rogue Legacy or World Of Tanks. The Division? Not that bothered, Destiny lies unplayed here since the Taken King honeymoon ended. I should play Forza 6 or Halo 5 as they're ostensibly the reason I own a next gen console.
But I just can't justify playing them. I get more thrill watching Sarah & Duck with my son than shooting aliens in the face. Anyway, maybe that'll change when my co-op partner grows up a bit, but for now I'm happy to just play outside with him. Anyway, As opposed to the halcyon days of Digi when I was mostly drunk, I really do read you every day.
Ian aka cheneyheadshot on eggsbox
Note to all other correspondents: see!!!? This is the benchmark. This is what we wanted!!! An actual letter. And an actual letter like this requires a considered and thoughtful response from us. Press reveal to see it:
REVEAL:
CATHY DENNIS
Unfortunately, I haven't been able to think of anything really sensible to write to you about yet due to various factors, such as sloth. However, I did do you some game fan art instead. I hope you like it.
Paul Dunning
Unfortunately, I haven't been able to think of anything really sensible to write to you about yet due to various factors, such as sloth. However, I did do you some game fan art instead. I hope you like it.
Paul Dunning
No. We really hate it.
CATHAY PACIFIC
I'm now - in reality & all manner of technicalities - getting on a bit. Long gone are the days of C60 cassettes chock full of 8-bit loveliness, spending my paper money with the puffy jacket lads down the arcades & generally just dossing about.
Thing is this; now I have the disposable income to spend on all the games I could possibly ever want thereby ironically not having time to play them. I've put around 13 hours into The Division and thoroughly enjoyed it. However, my advanced years have dulled my reflexes and it is taking an age to level up. And those 13 hours have taken me two weeks to accumulate.
My question to you, as le grande fromage, the sage with no onion, the only bloke whose reviews I ever trusted etc., should I knock it all on the head & spend the time / energy / cash on something else instead? You know, like, er, a thimble collection or maybe an incredibly expensive corduroy dressing gown and slipper set? Maybe even spend it on my kids? I know, revolutionary stuff.
I look forward to your usual high quality dispensation of wisdom.
Yours, pending better offers,
Okeyblokey.
I'm now - in reality & all manner of technicalities - getting on a bit. Long gone are the days of C60 cassettes chock full of 8-bit loveliness, spending my paper money with the puffy jacket lads down the arcades & generally just dossing about.
Thing is this; now I have the disposable income to spend on all the games I could possibly ever want thereby ironically not having time to play them. I've put around 13 hours into The Division and thoroughly enjoyed it. However, my advanced years have dulled my reflexes and it is taking an age to level up. And those 13 hours have taken me two weeks to accumulate.
My question to you, as le grande fromage, the sage with no onion, the only bloke whose reviews I ever trusted etc., should I knock it all on the head & spend the time / energy / cash on something else instead? You know, like, er, a thimble collection or maybe an incredibly expensive corduroy dressing gown and slipper set? Maybe even spend it on my kids? I know, revolutionary stuff.
I look forward to your usual high quality dispensation of wisdom.
Yours, pending better offers,
Okeyblokey.
Uh... well... You've thoroughly enjoyed it, yeah? Stuff the kids and just carry on. They can look after themselves.
PACIFIC OCEAN
I very much enjoyed the gaming of yesteryear: Spectrums 48 and 128.What modern system should I purchase to relive those classic games?
Please note that I don't want to play the actual games of yesteryear, I want to be able to experience the same feelings I had playing those games, but in 1080p and 60 frames per second. It will also need to plug into my TV, which only has a SCART input and mono sound and was made in Japan (I don't know if that is relevant). Thanks in advance for any help you may be able to offer.
Seam
I very much enjoyed the gaming of yesteryear: Spectrums 48 and 128.What modern system should I purchase to relive those classic games?
Please note that I don't want to play the actual games of yesteryear, I want to be able to experience the same feelings I had playing those games, but in 1080p and 60 frames per second. It will also need to plug into my TV, which only has a SCART input and mono sound and was made in Japan (I don't know if that is relevant). Thanks in advance for any help you may be able to offer.
Seam
Get a JXD from Funstock. It won't do any of the things that you stated you wanted, other than play the old games. But it is nice. Press reveal to see what happens once you order one.
REVEAL:
Where do the emails go? They go here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
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