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THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE!

16/9/2016

9 Comments

 
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Well, it's is Friday, and therefore it is time for another Digitiser2000 Friday Letters Page. We are now just two weeks away from the first Digitiser and Teletext Festival. We're able to make a limited number of extra evening tickets available, and - if you want to be one of the lucky ones - send an email to the address below.

Unfortunately, our sponsors have decided to stop replying to our messages, which we take to mean they don't want to back the event anymore. Which would be funny if I hadn't spent an unecessary fortune on it already. However, the only difference guests will notice is me crying in a corner.

Furthermore, Digitiser2000 reader Josh Hyland won't be able to make the event, and he has very kindly offered his all-day ticket as a prize to the first reader who can answer this question: What is Josh Hyland's name? We'll pick one winner at random.


Send your answers, ticket enquiries, and emails for next week's Friday Letters Page to here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
WEB-BEST
​Yours is the best site upon the web and brings me many a chuckle. I used to love the Teletext Digi and I'm so happy to have it back. 

Now, whilst walking yesterday I saw a Mobile Home/RV thing called a "Commodore CD". Have any of your other readers seen a touring vehicle with a name that could also be a hypothetical early-90s peripheral?

Btw I should have taken a photo of it, but I was scared as the sort of people who own those vehicles often become startled and aroused at sudden flashes/clicks etc.
Chomboss Wankus
Speaking as somebody who has twice been confronted by the owner of a vehicle while taking a picture of it... it's the sort of awkward, difficult-to-explain, situation that is best avoided.

The first time occurred while taking a photo of a white van - 'pon which I later Photoshopped a large pair of comedy breasts, for the hilarious TV comedy pilot Biffovision. The red-faced owner stormed out of his house demanding to know what I was doing, and I mumbled some excuse about needing it for "My daughter's school project".

Then a few months ago, I took a photo of a van emblazoned with the words "Dog Unit" - intending to  post said images to Twitter with the amusing comment "You know you've made it as a rapper when you can afford a personalised van". What I hadn't noticed was the driver reclining inside.

As I was preparing to leave the car park, he appeared suddenly at my car window... again, wanting to know what I was doing. I told him straight: "It was for a Twitter joke. Dog Unit is a funny name for a rapper... and, er... that".

He backed away. I died a little inside.

Now press reveal to see exclusive behind-the-scenes footage from the filming Mr Hairs and I were doing yesterday for Digifest, showing one of two similarly distressing encounters we had while being disrespectful in Brompton Cemetery...
REVEAL:
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WEBBIEST
After my lame comment about you being replaced by a robot, based on your article where you suggested you should be replaced by a robot, I've created the attached
teletext frame so we can see exactly how this would turn out.
​Chris

​I can't help but notice that 81-FFO has a similar colour scheme to the seminal Digitiser robot Roaming Thomas. Pray tell... was that intentional, love?

​Why not press reveal to see another cool robot?


REVEAL:
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NEBULOUS
This is steadily becoming an increasingly heated debate within my group of friends, so I feel I need your input. Most of them say that Crash Bandicoot is the best mascot character, whereas I still stay true to Sonic, despite his many shortcomings in recent years.

My feeling is that Crash is essentially the Waluigi of the mascot world, unable to have a reference point of his own unless others have already established something, and he's only piggy-backing on everything else. They just say Sonic is an embarrassment and that I'm wrong.

Please settle this, as I'm struggling to sleep soundly anymore.
Pete
Sonic has become an embarrassment, but there's no question that - as mascot characters go - he's probably up there as the best. I'd even put the design above Mario. Well, the original design. Not the new try-hard slender one with the bandages around his wrists and ankles, which look like nothing short of a cry for help. Let us all hope that Sonic Mania is the return to form that we all so crave.
FABULOUS
A few years ago I used to follow the work of the RAM Raider, in equal parts fascinated by the journo gossip and bitchiness, and repulsed by the sweary and somewhat embittered nature of his ramblings. I noticed he interviewed you for a piece on his blog, and you seemed on fairly good terms.

Did you know him in real life? What did you make of his work as RAM Raider? (Also: was it Daniel Emery like everyone said?)
Rik van Hjarrd
No! I never knew RAM Raider, or who he really was. His site was a bit too far on the gossipy side for my tastes. I've not even heard of Daniel Emery, unfortunately. Press reveal to see an artist's impression of him, drawn from all the information you supplied.
REVEAL:
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​SYLLABUS
I was playing on Darkest Dungeon the other day and decided to name one of my characters Mr Biffo. Your namesake was a valuable member of the team and went on to become a level 6 leper, contributing to the defeat of many bosses and lesser villains.

​Unfortunately though Mr Biffo's luck eventually ran out and he was stabbed to death by a brigand. I just thought you should know.

My highwayman called Dino Dini still lives on.
S. Hawke
Well... that story was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me, I must say.
SYLLABUB
During Digi's teletext peak, was there ever talk of doing a magazine or TV spin off? If so, would it have involved someone spitting Vimto in Dominik Diamond's face?  Because I would have loved that.
Henry Biccy
No TV Digi was ever mooted - Biffovision was the closest that came to happening. However, a Digitiser fan club was discussed, with a regular magazine sent out to subscribers. It was suggested by someone in the marketing department, and - believe it or not - Mr Hairs and I killed it, because we didn't see the sense in a magazine that was going to be weeks out of date, when we were able to update Digi immediately.

Later, an unnamed individual from Future Publishing rang up about them doing a Digi magazine... and I think I had the same reservations. But it didn't matter, because he never called back anyway  JUST LIKE HE NEVER FOLLOWED UP WHEN HE GOT IN TOUCH WITH ME ABOUT SUPPLYING DIGI2000 WITH ADVERTISING, VIA THE GAMES ADVERTISING COMPANY HE NOW RUNS.

​But that's ok. Digitiser2000: independent and proud.
TRILOBITE
​If you could write a script for any game-to-movie/tv show adaptation, which one would it be, and what would be the premise?
Stuart Lindsay
Uh... I dunno. See, I'm not sure a game should ever be a movie or TV show. I'm quite a purist in that sense: for me, games should be played. Plus, I've yet to encounter a game with a mythos or setting that could be better explored in another medium. 
9 Comments
Kelvin Green link
16/9/2016 06:07:54 pm

Bamber Boozler collects sex? WOZNIAK!! How does that work?

Reply
Mr Biffo
17/9/2016 08:29:00 am

Too bad Bamber doesn't collect grammar Nazi memorabilia, eh? EH?!?

Reply
FEoD link
17/9/2016 09:27:14 am

It's supposed to be "Too bad Bamber doesn't collect grammar Nazi memorabilia, eh? Eh?? EH???" surely..?

Rakldtr IV
17/9/2016 03:35:29 pm

My take is that Kevin was genuinely confused in the above comment. Chin up Kevin, don't let the IQ Nazis get to you love x3

Kelvin Green link
18/9/2016 07:24:38 am

Who's Kevin?

RkldtrIV
18/9/2016 01:12:44 pm

Anyone called Kevin is, Kevin

Barrybarrybarrybarry
17/9/2016 10:41:40 am

Your grammar Nazi comment compels me to point out that the word should be 'unnecessary', with two 'n's, in the second paragraph.

Brilliantly, this is both relevant to the above comments and an entirely unnecessary correction. I am most pleased.

Reply
Mr Biffo
17/9/2016 01:05:28 pm

This has already been pointed out to me. As has one other typo (see if you can spot it!). The fact I haven't changed either shows you my level of caring.

Reply
Robin
17/9/2016 03:18:55 pm

That certainly is a Handsome Crab on the back cover of the calendar!

Reply



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