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THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

4/8/2016

13 Comments

 
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Hey - we've still a few tickets left to the Teletext and Digifest on October 1st.

You can get them here, while they last. I've spent most of this week trying to resist sharing something with you that has been made for the evening festivities. Providing my loins can remain strong... if you want to know what it is - you'll have to come along. H'hah. I tease you.

Anyway. Look now: it's the Friday Letters Page. And!
PUGGSY THE DOG
I was wondering if you or one of your readers might be able to explain to me the forgotten 90s platformer mascot Puggsy.

What is he? Where did he come from? What tragic accident befell him to make him look like that?

His Wikipedia page is a bit thin at the moment so I'd like to update it with any and all information that you can supply. Thanks in advance,
Alan
He was that orange thing, with the sort of wilted, flaccid antenna, yes? He looked a bit Q*Bert-like. Only less appealing. Nobody ever asks what Q*Bert is, and yet you bring up Puggsy. Puggsy! What is wrong with you, Anal?
SUGGSY OUT OF MADNESS
My mum says that you aren't real because you are on the Internet. She shouted it really loudly through the keyhole of the cupboard. I can't decide whether or not she is locked out or if I am locked in. She is just jealous because I have every one of your Teletext pages in a series of scrapbooks.

If I cut it out and send it to you, would you please autograph the mole on my left calf? With everlasting love...
Me.
Just been a bit sick. Press reveal to see something that'll make it all better.
REVEAL:
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​THE MAD NESS MONSTER

​I had a go at using the Teletext Editor to draw Jet Set Willy, the most detailed and visually complex character in video game history.

Anyway, I have a question about Teletext.

​The question is this: was there some kind of fantasy adventure page, a bit like Bamboozle but with dragons instead of questions?

​I vaguely remember reading something like this during the school holidays, but maybe I just had sunstroke or something.
Stringfellow Hawke

Great. Now you're all doing your own teletext pages I might as well give up and go home, shall I? 
MONSTER TRUCKS
While the ability of 'real' music to be recorded for computer game scores has led to many impressive pieces, I feel that this has caused many game soundtracks to be less creative and distinctive than in the days of 'programmed' music. There are notable exceptions to this I admit, but I think that too many games sound like 'epic' films.

To what extent are you interested in the NX? The recent leaks give a good idea of how it will function, are you more or less interested than 6 months ago?

Do you think that 'indie' games currently receive 'soft' treatment from computer game critics (especially if they have a certain look) compared to more mainstream games?

Which games have you found genuinely funny in your career and what was it that you found most amusing?
John Whyte
I dunno. I honestly can't think of any off the top of my head which are properly funny. I don't belly-laugh at them, but I think the Lego games are witty and charming. The joke is slightly wearing a bit thin now, but, well, y'know...

Hmmph. This has vexed me. The only times I remember really laughing at games isn't through the script or gags. It's always been through the gameplay... or because I've changed the character names to something absurd. Like my character in Super Punch-Out, who I named AA Milne.
TRUCKS OF MY TEARS
My name is superamigafan20004eva and I think you've got a bit of an attitude, chum. You wouldn't know a good machine and OS if something maybe a little bit important depended on it, 'kay?

Anyway, you can keep your false PC and console idols. The mighty Zool will decide your fate in the End Time. Once you're jumping around on a giant keyboard, trying to find the right tune to enter the secret bonus level that is the afterlife, you'll wish you had been nicer, 'kay?
superamigafan20004eva
Press reveal to see your favourite teletext page:
REVEAL:
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TEARS FOR EARS
Another question! Raised this time by Parpit; his illustration along with many others you've done, including live action characters, like Santa from Biffovision, and more recently with Stefan the neighbour, all have a strange set of lines coming out of their mouths and apparently wrapping around their heads. What is that?
Glyn Heaviside
There is a story behind it, believe it or not. There's a progressive rock band called IQ, who I very much used to be into in the late-80s/early-90s. 

​One time, I made a bunch of half-face masks - which just covered the mouths - which I handed out to my mates, and we wore them during an IQ gig at London's Marquee Club. I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea; despite us looking up at them from the front row, the band dutifully ignored us. I also wore them while on a pedal boat around the lake in Hyde Park.

But anyway. That's the inspiration of the mouth/lines thing.
THE WALLS HAVE EARS
I normally avoid pre-ordering for two reasons:

1. I'm usually skint and need to save the money for hot bovril instead

2. I think pre-ordering is stupid.

Yet when No Man's Sky was made available, I found myself indulging in the practice. I don't know what it was about that game and the story of its creation that caused me to part with coin ahead of release. Seeing a small and passionate team taking risks and being ambitious - it caused something to stir in me (steady on).

​I could see that pre-ordering can be used to do something other than reinforce the status quo. Or maybe I just really, really, wanted the game and am a big doo doo head hypocrite. Either way I'm not actually that fussed if NMS turns out to be less than stellar, as I'm just happy to support people who shoot for the moon.

So whaddya think biffers - is pre-ordering ever justifiable? 
Mike
I pre-order the big games, so that I definitely get them on release day, and don't have to wait too long to review them, if for some reason I can't get out of the house to buy them. Unfortunately, I frequently forget I've pre-ordered, and end up with two copies. Press reveal for more information about this.
REVEAL:
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EAR PIE
​Why does my patreon "donation" appear as fireworks, trophies and gravestones on my CC statement?

My wife goes through my statements with a fine tooth comb and is furious that I have been frittering our money away on gravestones again.
​David Roebuck

You mean you haven't received the fireworks and trophies we send to all our donors? We'll look into it. The gravestones were just for you though. You know: like a sort of threat, yeah?
PIE HOLE
Who's idea was it to put video games on to cassette tapes? And how do I get them to give me back all the months spent waiting for the bastards to load? I'll take a cheque, thanks.
Tilly "Piccalilli" Famff
One time, a magazine gave away a game on one a flexidisc. I didn't realise you were somehow meant to transfer the audio to cassette, and played it next to my Spectrum, and couldn't work out why the game wouldn't play. Good story, yeah?
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13 Comments
Reversible Sedgewick
5/8/2016 12:44:30 pm

Oh hells, German teletext. I was there in Space Year 2000 and it was all like that. All of it. All of it. Quite a shock for a young lad clicking in looking for the German equivalent of Planet Sound.

That said, there was a page which would tell you which song was playing on a local radio station at that time, refresh rate pending. Suck it, Spotify!

And for people who like their jokes explained, the third Reveal-Oh is a play on words relating to the debut single by the first ever winners of the Popstars reality show in Germany. They were huge.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daylight_in_Your_Eyes

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LewisQ
5/8/2016 12:54:10 pm

No-One Lives Forever made me chuckle involuntarily a few times, especially with the dwarf-on-a-bicycle reveal. Shame that game seems to have been completely forgotten.

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Adam
5/8/2016 02:57:27 pm

Some of the stuff in the Mario & Luigi adventure games makes me laugh. But other than that...

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Def Leaphard
5/8/2016 05:08:16 pm

I remember really laughing at bits of Day of the Tentacle back in t' day, although I was 13 and so may sense of humour probably was 72% based on people doing "eggy woofters" and such

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colincidence link
5/8/2016 07:14:55 pm

Citizens of Earth is very funny.

Also, the Pokémon Stadium Clefairy Dance or Counting (Stadium 2) minigames, with COMs set on Easy Mode.

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Paul Jon
5/8/2016 08:38:08 pm

Been playing Grim Fandango for the first time ever, and that's fair making me chuckle. Also, Deadly Premonition makes me laugh a lot, mainly as the odd dialogue and the main character's delivery are so damn endearing.

There are many 90s Neo Geo games I laugh at, mainly for their eccentric translations, like Terry Bogard in Fatal Fury Special saying "Wubba wubba, I'm in the pink today, boy!"

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Acid_Arrow
5/8/2016 10:15:09 pm

I do inwardly laugh at some of Witcher Geralt's comments which are a combination of the voice acting and knowing (not in the biblical sense) his character. "Yeah, good luck with that".

To dredge an obscure example from memory, Simon the Sorcerer 2 was voiced by Chris Barrie and the blurb on the PC case, which I have long since lost, said something like...

".. I fully intend to embark on my quest at the earliest opportunity! (weather permitting)..."

It was the "weather permitting" line that stuck and indeed I occasionally chuck it in to general conversation to this day.

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Chris Wyatt
5/8/2016 11:43:42 pm

On Link's Awakening, when Link picks up Marin as if she's an object (including the congratulatory sound effect), I remember that really tickling me. I was probably about 9 at the time.

I recently had a go on Baku Baku Animal again, and the lion eating 'The End' on the credits amused me. I do tend to like the humour in Japanese games, and it's often subtle to the point where I'm not sure if it was supposed to be funny!

I think this sums up my sense of humour: I tend to not laugh at things that are supposed to be funny and crack up at things that either weren't intended to be funny, are inappropriate, or just things that are extremely childish/daft.

Probably why I like this blog / liked Digi back in the day.

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FEoD link
6/8/2016 11:12:22 am

Genuinely funny games? Play Jazzpunk. It will make you do a noise wee out of your mouth for sure...

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David W
6/8/2016 11:44:11 am

In response to Stringfellow Hawke, that fantasy adventure page was most likely the Knightmare spin-off which occasionally replaced Bamboozle.

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Chris
6/8/2016 12:15:58 pm

I don't remember ever seeing that, however there was some sort of epic adventure on Oracle once. Don't know if it was a regular thing or not, never had a teletext TV at the time so only happened on it that once, and despite searching other times I had access to teletext never saw it again.

ISTR the adventure was Fastext-based, but you had to make a note of any items you acquired and try not to lie to the TV about having them.

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Stringfellow Hawke
6/8/2016 12:30:55 pm

A Knightmare spin-off sounds right.

The only things I associate with Oracle are jokes and badgers.

Mr Biffo
8/8/2016 07:45:27 am

Ah, yes! Sorry. Yes. I did reply saying that. Unfortunately, I was off my face on medication on Friday.. and so... maybe I just imagined it. Yeah, I used to do the graphics for the Nightmare choose-your-own-adventure thing. It existed. I think we only did it twice, though. Which was a shame, as I loved doing it.




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