THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

Get this: Digitiser2000 is three years old now! How time flies.

​Now get this: next year is the 25th anniversary of Digitiser. It feels to me like this should be marked in some way. 1st January is the actual date Digi first came into being, but it's probably too close to Christmas to hold an event (and we still have the Found Footage DVDs/scripts/props to get ready to send out to people)... but what sort of special celebration would you like to see?

Some sort of anniversary Digifest party later in the year? Guest articles on here? Merchandise? That sort of thing? Other sorts of things?

I'm open to all (serious) suggestions - by email or in the comments below.

If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails early to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com

PLAY IT AGAIN
I recently completed the wonderful Deus Ex Mankind Divided. I always play through stealth/non-lethal and explore every inch. However there are certain points in the game where you can miss out on missions based on choices/mistakes, and others where it's a straight 'this or that'.  

So I wasn't going to see everything on a single play-through. I rarely have the motivation to go through a game a second time, but when this offered New Game+, carrying over your inventory/unlocked augs into the start of the next game, it was too tempting to pass up. So this time I'm just running through the main missions mostly completely undetectable and seeing the bits I missed the first time.  

I had thought it was great value for money just on the first playthrough, this small feature has given me many more hours of enjoyment. 
​
What features do you like to see in games that add replay value?
Glyn Heaviside

Hmm. Well, Super Mario Odyssey is currently doing it for me, given the fact that the game is far from over once it's over.

Similarly, I always get completely hooked on scouring every last inch of the Crackdown games for those glowing orb things. I think if a game feels "nice", and there's a big playground to explore, those two elements are guaranteed to get me coming back.

Also, Half-Life 2 is one of the of the few games I've completed multiple times, simply on account of the fact it's so damn good.

​So: good games = replay features.

BLANK'S BLANK
​Blankety blank, blankety blank-blank-blank! Blankety blank, blankety blank-blank-blank! 

Blankety blank!

"Harrier Attack was a fun game to play in 1984; however, nowadays it would be confused for BLANK or BLANKS."
AGeekyGirl
@1waytofindout

"A lefty liberal snowflake cuck agenda or more alt.right racist misogynistic posturings."

GOODBYE MIIVERSE
Miiverse closed for good this week.

Although I didn't use it too much, the odd time I did I found it a thoroughly pleasant message board, where you could ask for in-game help, post screenshots, or just write random musings, all without fear of abuse or unpleasantness that you find on other messaging services and on the internet in general (or the abuse-a-net as I call it - do you see?) 

Anyway I have attached a pic of the message I posted before it closed, I thought you might like.
Ste Finneran

Brings a tear to the eye...

KOK ON
"OH, PRITHEE, MR BIFFO!" quoth Otis, the quiz-slug. Loudly.

"WHEN SHALT KOKOTONI WILF BE REMASTERED FOR THE XBOX ONE X, THEN?".
​
Your humble servant,
Jabberwoc

Press reveal to find out.

REVEAL:

"STOP IT, EMU, WE'LL FALL...!"
I downloaded OpenEmu onto my wife's Mac when she wasn't looking, and have been thoroughly enjoying some retro emulation-y goodness. 

Then I got pissed off that Doom got a SNES release, but back in the day I had to own a 32X to play it on my Mega Drive. Luckily, I was one of those people who actually bought a 32X for some reason, so I guess that all worked out in the end.

Now that elements of the old Digi have wound their way into live action in various forms, when can we (and by we I mean me) expect to see a live-action web series of the Snakes? Or you afraid of using ACTUAL snakes? Cos I would be.

I'm sorry I can't think of more insightful questions at this time.
​Kris

True story: there was a live-action version of the Snakes, directed by the guy who did a lot of the early Gorillaz videos. I worked with him on a show for Fox Kids called The Adventures of Brush Lee and Jackie Chain, and we pitched a Snakes series... which they didn't go for. The brilliant Phil Cornwell did the voices. And no, I don't have a copy of it.

Now press reveal to see another sort of "open emu". Vrrrrrrooooom!

REVEAL:

SONIC FARCES
I recently received concrete evidence that Barry White made sweet love to a bottle nosed dolphin and am currently under FBI investigation. Is it worth buying the new Needlemouse game?
16 year old Emily from Gwent.

If I am to understand that stream of nonsense, you presumably mean the new Sonic game, and I've no idea. Sonic Mania should be purchased however.

GOUJON AND ON
Hello Mr Biffo I love your Found Footage series. I even wanted to help contribute to your wonderful series, but you respectfully declined. Very understandable.

I lost my grandmother November 6th of this year. I know this is less cheerful or silly as some other entries I just wanted to thank you for this wonderful YouTube series it's helping get this this loss, it's not easy but your series has helped me laugh again so thank you. Stay goujon my friend.
stevenumland

So sorry to hear about your grandmother, Steve, but I think the thing we should all strive for is to try and leave the world at least a slightly better place than when we entered it. So... thank you.

THE 50 Q'S OF WHYTE
1. What do you think is the best in-game vehicle? From a nostalgia point-of-view, I would say the Qirex in Wipeout 2097 or maybe the batmobile in Arkham Knight but I'd be curious to hear your opinion.

2. Without meaning to indulge in hyperbole, do you think that it is fair to say that 2017 has been one of the best years for games ever? I cannot remember many others with so many good games. My own top 3 (so far), not that anyone asked are Horizon: Zero Dawn, Mario + Rabbids and Nier: Automata.

3. I found the consternation over Detroit: Become Human's 'Abuse' scene to be quite confusing. I do think that the scene is uncomfortable and is worryingly close to turning a serious subject into a game. Having said that, though, this is done with murder all the time, which really is the most serious crime of all, except maybe genocide. Nathan Drake is probably the most prolific killer in history.

While I personally didn't like the scene, I would hope that I wouldn't and I believe that Mr Cage is not doing anything wrong by showing this subject matter. He quite correctly challenged Eurogamer's interviewer by asking them if a film director would be questioned over the appropriateness of the material - I don't believe that they would.

I must express some doubts over whether such subject matters should be in a game, but nevertheless I do not logically see why not and feel that Mr Cage is being given an unfair time in the press.
John Whyte

1. Hmm. I've come back to this question too many times, and I can't think of one. So let's say the jetpack in Pilotwings.

2. I really do! I think it has been one heck of a year for gaming. I know I moan a lot on here, but really... there's something for everyone, and the quality has never been higher.

3. I've not heard anything about this, but it sounds awful! I did watch that new The Last of Us 2 trailer, which got a bit of flack because it featured some women getting beaten up, and hung, and having their arms broken and that. It wasn't very nice, but it wouldn't have been very nice even if they had been fellers.

As to whether such topics as sexual abuse should be in games... well, I'm a bit of a limp lettuce. I don't even put swearing in the things I write. I don't write about drugs, and any sex references have all the sophistication of drawing a weenis on a school locker. I guess that sort of content has its place, and can allow us to explore the world we live in, but maybe I'm the wrong person to ask.

Usually, it just seems like titilation to me, and I always wonder why people create stuff that reflects the more unpleasant parts of humanity. Why would you want to direct or write stuff showing people doing horrible things to one another?

Maybe we should ask Louis CK...

GOUJON AND ON AND ON
I may be misremembering (which is a very real possibility) but didn't you say earlier on in your Found Footage escapades that you didn't think that our saviour Goujon John would be appearing much in the upcoming series as you didn't want to overdo the joke.

So yeah, what happened there then? Were you deliberately spreading false facts to lay the ground work for the surprise rise of GJ or did the inspiration come later? 

Either way, well done on Found Footage. Well Done!

Although I do have another question. Did you sneak any Marillion references in to Found Footage us normal people wouldn't notice?

Cordially,
Chris D

Well... he wasn't going to appear until much later on, and then I realised that there may have been people who might not have seen the earlier Goujon John clips, and would've been confused by his sudden appearance in the series.

​So, I had to seed him in earlier somehow... then I had - at quite a late stage - the idea to spoof Games Master, and realised that it might be a good way to get some celeb cameos in. And then all but two of the people I asked said yes... and so I had to use all of them.

There weren't any Marillion references in there, but I did ask Fish to do a Goujontation Zone. He was up for it, and was going to do it... but then never did. And then I saw he'd gone and gotten married rather suddenly, which explains it. I tweaked his script and asked J.Wilgoose Esq. from Public Service Broadcasting to do it instead (as I'd already got GJ's response).

For the most part, though, I think I succeeded in moving the character beyond the original joke...

ELECTRIC BLUE PLANET 2
Was catching up on the first episode of D.Attenborough’s Blue Planet 2, and a big chunk of it involved a bunch of dolphins making an absolute racket of what sounded very much like guffs, blow offs and parps, while the smallest one was too nervous to “rub himself” against a “frond”. It was the most accidentally Digitiser thing I’ve ever seen.
Chris Welsh

I watched that too, and was deeply amused by the parping. What a shame the dolph' didn't wrap itself up in a tarp.

FEEL THE WIDTH
Dear B-B-Biffo,

I meant to write to you last week, but frankly I forgot. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. If you can't then feel free to ignore the rest of this letter, I won't take it personally. I was going to write about your review of Mario Odyssey, but that ground has been pretty well-trodden now. Luckily for you I have something else to talk about. Luckily.

For once in my life, I'm in a long and meaningful relationship which has culminated in me and my girlfriend moving in together. I never thought I'd find someone insane enough for that, but insane she is so it's happening, damn it. This has led to me looking at most of my possessions and inevitably thinking: Do I really need this?

​Included in this stock take of my mountains of detritus was my not-inconsiderable collection of what the kids these days would call "retro games". Nothing before Playstation; I sold all my Mega Drive and SNES games years ago for 10p a go (almost literally), but my Playstation, N64, GBA and Nintendo DS games were all still hanging about like some sort of vast electro-stink. Do I really need these? No, no I don't.

There are one or two exceptions. My copy of Final Fantasy VII has too much emotional value due to the time in my life that I played it, and Capcom's Rival Schools is another I can't bring myself to part with due to how much of a profound effect it had on my formative years. This is despite it now selling for around the princely sum of £50, which brings me to the crux of this letter.

Around five years ago I remember checking the prices of some of the games I own out of interest more than anything else. Most of them were worth about £10-15, which I sort of expected.

One or two were worth a little more, with the exception of Suikoden II, an RPG I adored at one point (that point being a time when I could stand Japanese RPGs) which was worth upwards of £100. Imagine my surprise when I checked various games in my collection a couple of months ago. Pretty much none of the Playstation games I owned, bar one or two, were worth less than £20, and many were in the £30-40 range.

Luckily for me I had a very niche taste in games and had an almost superhuman sense of knowing which games were going to be sought after in twenty-odd years time. Even Nintendo DS games, which I thought were far too recent to be worth much, fetched far more than expected.

In all, so far, I've made about £1200 by selling off my collection, with a few more pricey titles yet to be put up for sale. When all is said and done, I'm probably going to be around £2000 to the good, which is going towards a deposit for a first home.

Why am I telling you this? No, I'm not showing off how rich I am with my unimaginable sum of two grand (har har), it's more like a public service announcement.

The prices of second-hand retro games, especially those semi-obscure Japanese titles, seem to have skyrocketed in the past few years and if anyone, like me, has a collection that they simply don't use or has no attachment to, try looking up some prices on various sites. You may be pleasantly surprised.

While I'm on the subject of public service announcements, anyone who collected the British version of Sonic The Comic back in the day might want to dig them out of the attic. Some bloke from America paid me £235 for just 30 of them. Admittedly I kept them in perfect condition, especially the later issues which I didn't even read because a) the stories were all repeats of older ones and b) I didn't read it by the end regardless, I just collected out of loyalty.

So if anyone has a forgotten stack at the back of the wardrobe, it might be a good idea to cash in - some of the issues were fetching £16-20 each.

That's it. I bet you wish I talked about Mario now don't you? I know I do.

Yours Financially,
The Fitcher

What a long letter!