At the risk of sounding like Donald Trump banging on and on about the size of his inauguration crowd - due to his very legitimate fear that he's not a legitimate president - we lost a few Patreon donors this week, in the wake of my evidently slightly ill-advised Nazi-punching article. Just when we'd gone over $1,000 (59p approximately) for the first time in two years.
It wasn't like we hemorrhaged support or anything, but... well... a handful were lost, and it can't be stressed how Patreon helps to keep me buoyant and supports me doing Digi2000 and related things.
I might take a look at revamping Patreon in some form in the months to come... and find some way to give extra value back to donors, without killing myself. But if you don't like the idea of Patreon - don't forget you can also give via PayPal (digitiser2000@gmail.com). Or not give at all!!!!!
Anyhow... thanks as always to everyone who does donate, thanks to all of you who are thinking RIGHT NOW that you should donate, thanks to all of you who continue to read Digitiser2000, those of you who tolerate this site when things are a bit quieter games-wise, or when I'm up to my eyeballs working on Found Footage (as I was this week).
And thanks for all the nice words I received this week after the Nazi piece. Even people who disagreed with me - those who didn't cancel their Patreon or stop following me on Twitter anyway - were all very reasonable.
Anyhow. Letters time, kids! If you would like to appear on next week's page, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone - please send your emails for next week to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
It wasn't like we hemorrhaged support or anything, but... well... a handful were lost, and it can't be stressed how Patreon helps to keep me buoyant and supports me doing Digi2000 and related things.
I might take a look at revamping Patreon in some form in the months to come... and find some way to give extra value back to donors, without killing myself. But if you don't like the idea of Patreon - don't forget you can also give via PayPal (digitiser2000@gmail.com). Or not give at all!!!!!
Anyhow... thanks as always to everyone who does donate, thanks to all of you who are thinking RIGHT NOW that you should donate, thanks to all of you who continue to read Digitiser2000, those of you who tolerate this site when things are a bit quieter games-wise, or when I'm up to my eyeballs working on Found Footage (as I was this week).
And thanks for all the nice words I received this week after the Nazi piece. Even people who disagreed with me - those who didn't cancel their Patreon or stop following me on Twitter anyway - were all very reasonable.
Anyhow. Letters time, kids! If you would like to appear on next week's page, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone - please send your emails for next week to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
NOT HALF
Thank you for your informative piece on Gabe Newell's AMA, which I somehow missed. Sadly his vague assertions made me more apathetic: I doubt we'll see anything soon. And I don't really want a VR Half-Life experience! Unless maybe an opening train ride crawl as a teaser for the proper game, maybe?
I'll just play Half-Life 2 again, I suppose.
Richard Morrison
Thank you for your informative piece on Gabe Newell's AMA, which I somehow missed. Sadly his vague assertions made me more apathetic: I doubt we'll see anything soon. And I don't really want a VR Half-Life experience! Unless maybe an opening train ride crawl as a teaser for the proper game, maybe?
I'll just play Half-Life 2 again, I suppose.
Richard Morrison
Given the terrible things that happened to me while playing Resident Evil 7 on the PlayStation VR, I don't want a Half-Life VR experience either. Maybe they could do one that's just the sound.
F.L.U.D.D.Y. HELL
Remember the terrible F.L.U.D.D. from Super Mario Sunshine?
It's real:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/38711494
Scott C
It's real:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/38711494
Scott C
It's not real though is it? It's one of those jetpack things which only work on water. And that's fine if your boat is on fire - but what if you live in the desert? It's really hot in the desert, and they probably have far more fires. I bet dunes and fennec foxes are always catching alight. If you're on a boat, surrounded by water, and it catches fire, well... frankly... you deserve everything you get.
Let the ocean-dwellers burn, I say.
Let the ocean-dwellers burn, I say.
KEN YOU DIG IT?
Hello Mr Biffo.
When will Ken Levine?
Thanks
Adam Lloyd
Hello Mr Biffo.
When will Ken Levine?
Thanks
Adam Lloyd
Press reveal to find out.
REVEAL:
LORDY LORD!
I was watching The Apprentice last year, and it suddenly struck me that Lord Sugar might be a vampire. After all, you never see him about during the day, and when he is on screen he seems to dwell in some kind of ghastly lit, subterranean vault, which also functions as a board room.
He's always accompanied by two thralls who clearly have no will of their own. And there's the name - Lord Sugar. Blood sugar levels. Blood! This evil fiend is taunting us with his own name!
So I was wondering, as somebody who supposedly lives in London, have you witnessed Lord Sugar creeping around in the middle of the night, or shape shifting into the form of a bat or wolf? Have you perhaps encountered him feeding on a friend or family member?
A. Van Helsing, Vampire Hunter
I was watching The Apprentice last year, and it suddenly struck me that Lord Sugar might be a vampire. After all, you never see him about during the day, and when he is on screen he seems to dwell in some kind of ghastly lit, subterranean vault, which also functions as a board room.
He's always accompanied by two thralls who clearly have no will of their own. And there's the name - Lord Sugar. Blood sugar levels. Blood! This evil fiend is taunting us with his own name!
So I was wondering, as somebody who supposedly lives in London, have you witnessed Lord Sugar creeping around in the middle of the night, or shape shifting into the form of a bat or wolf? Have you perhaps encountered him feeding on a friend or family member?
A. Van Helsing, Vampire Hunter
Press reveal to have Lord Sugar tell you himself what he gets up to when he's not on TV...
REVEAL:
WHAT IS IT WORTH?
After the debacle that was the launch of my new videogame, Searching for Intelligence in Worthing: A Survey For Family Fortunes, I decided to start playing Skyrim again. So I did. It was alright really.
My point is, I have decided to play and complete every single PS Plus game on PS4 since launch, regardless of quality or length of the sandwich required, wish me luck.
Zombiekicker (PSN ID)
After the debacle that was the launch of my new videogame, Searching for Intelligence in Worthing: A Survey For Family Fortunes, I decided to start playing Skyrim again. So I did. It was alright really.
My point is, I have decided to play and complete every single PS Plus game on PS4 since launch, regardless of quality or length of the sandwich required, wish me luck.
Zombiekicker (PSN ID)
Press reveal for our good luck message.
REVEAL:
BILLY THE COD
Got given Titanfall 2, Forza Horizon 3, and Lego Force Awakens for Yule. The sheer amount of shiny trinkets on display in Playground's latest drive-em-all eclipsed Respawn's sophomore effort, so I've literally only just started playing the latter.
I can see why lots of people evangelised about it, but launching as it did in the same week as BF 1914, it never really stood a chance. Widely discounted since, this game is the one Johnny Battlefield & Billy COD ought to be playing.
Yet people stick to what they know sadly, my work colleagues included. I've become one of those trying to get others to try it yet my recommendation falls on deaf ears, "I don't like the look of it" or "I just play COD or FIFA ta" being a typical response.
As for Lego Force Awakens, I guess I'll play it eventually.
Ian Thompson
Got given Titanfall 2, Forza Horizon 3, and Lego Force Awakens for Yule. The sheer amount of shiny trinkets on display in Playground's latest drive-em-all eclipsed Respawn's sophomore effort, so I've literally only just started playing the latter.
I can see why lots of people evangelised about it, but launching as it did in the same week as BF 1914, it never really stood a chance. Widely discounted since, this game is the one Johnny Battlefield & Billy COD ought to be playing.
Yet people stick to what they know sadly, my work colleagues included. I've become one of those trying to get others to try it yet my recommendation falls on deaf ears, "I don't like the look of it" or "I just play COD or FIFA ta" being a typical response.
As for Lego Force Awakens, I guess I'll play it eventually.
Ian Thompson
Honestly... as if there weren't already enough reasons to despair about mankind these days, along comes Titanfall 2 to prove that the vast majority of humanity is about one rung on the evolutionary ladder away from sitting in a puddle, hitting themselves over the head with a handful of their own excrement.
HO HO
I recently enjoyed your HA HA Eric Bristow bit on your Twitter feed.
I say I enjoyed it… I laughed hysterically! In fact, I’m laughing now and not even thinking about anything specifically about it - just it in abstract!
I just read them to my wife and I nearly died. She said she was laughing at me laughing and couldn’t really understand what I was saying.
PLEASE can you do more of them? Yes, I know I could just read his tweets but it wouldn’t be the same. I’m laughing again now. Ha ha!
Dean
I say I enjoyed it… I laughed hysterically! In fact, I’m laughing now and not even thinking about anything specifically about it - just it in abstract!
I just read them to my wife and I nearly died. She said she was laughing at me laughing and couldn’t really understand what I was saying.
PLEASE can you do more of them? Yes, I know I could just read his tweets but it wouldn’t be the same. I’m laughing again now. Ha ha!
Dean
Ten retweets I got for that. A paltry ten. More depressingly still... I got even less for my Donald Tarp picture, which is a work of rare and profound genius, and took me a whole five minutes to do in Photoshop. Two people retweeted it. No, really: just two. Oh, it got six or seven likes - one of which was from my other half, so it scarcely counts - but nobody wants likes anyway. Retweets are the good stuff.
I mean - look at it. Look: DONALD TARP!!!! He's under a tarp! I don't do this for my health, you know.
I mean - look at it. Look: DONALD TARP!!!! He's under a tarp! I don't do this for my health, you know.
PISSLORD
HELLO BIFFY. I was ill before and in hospital, but I got better. I wrote all about it - YES I KNOW you've read it - but maybe someone else might like to. Just put my link on Digitiser 2000 dot com please and let nature take its course, like I did while I was pissing gallons into little cardboard bottles: https://medium.com/@mpwilliamson/the-time-i-had-man-flu-aefeda1c3d78
Also, where is Chart Cat? Things have been decidedly unsexy around these parts recently, and the last thing I want to see is unsexy parts. BYE.
MrPSB
HELLO BIFFY. I was ill before and in hospital, but I got better. I wrote all about it - YES I KNOW you've read it - but maybe someone else might like to. Just put my link on Digitiser 2000 dot com please and let nature take its course, like I did while I was pissing gallons into little cardboard bottles: https://medium.com/@mpwilliamson/the-time-i-had-man-flu-aefeda1c3d78
Also, where is Chart Cat? Things have been decidedly unsexy around these parts recently, and the last thing I want to see is unsexy parts. BYE.
MrPSB
Yes, I actually read all of the Mr PSB urine journal - and if that's something you're into - sorry... if that's something URINE TO (hahahahaha)... you know: like the US President, allegedly... then you might like to give it a read also.
If you've ever followed the torrent of single-entendre filth and rat affection that is PSB's Twitter feed, you might be surprised to learn that it's a surprisingly sincere and heartfelt piece. I certainly was. Though I only made it all the way to the end because I was expecting some sort of punchline about poo.
If you've ever followed the torrent of single-entendre filth and rat affection that is PSB's Twitter feed, you might be surprised to learn that it's a surprisingly sincere and heartfelt piece. I certainly was. Though I only made it all the way to the end because I was expecting some sort of punchline about poo.
TURTLEHEAD
I once had an interview at LionHead to work on Milo and Kate. It went well and they tried to show me the game, but it froze on the loading screen, so I didn't get to play it. I did notice that the loading screen had a quote from Ken Hill on it: "Childhood is a promise that is never kept".
From this choice of quote I surmised that either, Mr Molyneaux was blissfully unaware of his reputation as an arch bullshitter... or he was aware and was flaunting it like the Parisian prostitute who flashed the school coach on my french trip in '89.
The game got canned before I received a response to the interview, in case you were wondering.
Best not put my real name on this.
Whisky Bob
I once had an interview at LionHead to work on Milo and Kate. It went well and they tried to show me the game, but it froze on the loading screen, so I didn't get to play it. I did notice that the loading screen had a quote from Ken Hill on it: "Childhood is a promise that is never kept".
From this choice of quote I surmised that either, Mr Molyneaux was blissfully unaware of his reputation as an arch bullshitter... or he was aware and was flaunting it like the Parisian prostitute who flashed the school coach on my french trip in '89.
The game got canned before I received a response to the interview, in case you were wondering.
Best not put my real name on this.
Whisky Bob
Press reveal for another quote from Ken Hill, whoever that is.
REVEAL:
BLISK
Hey, I got Titanfall 2 like you and Blisk said I should. I agree, it’s really fun. So fun I’ve already put 30 hours into it despite only owning it for 6 days and having a full time job. So thanks. Duckhenry please.
Gaffer tape wrapped around a pipe leading to an extractor fan
Hey, I got Titanfall 2 like you and Blisk said I should. I agree, it’s really fun. So fun I’ve already put 30 hours into it despite only owning it for 6 days and having a full time job. So thanks. Duckhenry please.
Gaffer tape wrapped around a pipe leading to an extractor fan
Blisk? What is this Blisk? It sounds like a type of baby biscuit for babies. Are you a baby?! Ha ha - you're a baby.
EXTENDERS
What do you think of Eastenders recently having the words, "bastard", "arse" and "shagging" included in one episode? Do you think they have realised that it's going off the rails and are trying to steer it back towards the glory days of beat-boxing and Dirty Den blatantly saying the C word?
Have you had any further communications from Stuart N Hardy? I understand if you would rather not have his name on the site just in case he discovers it and begins his campaign again, or if he turned out to be an actual crazy person.
Final question : Does Rev Campbell have enough clout to force Tudor Special crisps back into production? Specifically Gammon & Pineapple flavour. That's got to be more important than all the politics stuff.
Nicky
P.S. Do you have an opinion on the recent news about the KLF possibly coming back in some form? Do you care? Their ambient album Chill Out still stands up as a classic in my opinion.
What do you think of Eastenders recently having the words, "bastard", "arse" and "shagging" included in one episode? Do you think they have realised that it's going off the rails and are trying to steer it back towards the glory days of beat-boxing and Dirty Den blatantly saying the C word?
Have you had any further communications from Stuart N Hardy? I understand if you would rather not have his name on the site just in case he discovers it and begins his campaign again, or if he turned out to be an actual crazy person.
Final question : Does Rev Campbell have enough clout to force Tudor Special crisps back into production? Specifically Gammon & Pineapple flavour. That's got to be more important than all the politics stuff.
Nicky
P.S. Do you have an opinion on the recent news about the KLF possibly coming back in some form? Do you care? Their ambient album Chill Out still stands up as a classic in my opinion.
I have absolutely zero opinion about EastEnders whatsoever, and haven't done since I fled the show shedding a trail of scorched expectations.
I've no idea what the story is, or was, with N. Hardy - though Digitiser was just one of countless journals he wrote to back in the 90s.
You'd have to ask Reverend Campbell whether he's got any clout with Tudor. I'm still waiting for Golden Wonder to bring back Sausage & Tomato.
KLF? I didn't have an opinion about them coming back until last week, when my friend Giles told me they were coming back. My opinion was - and remains - "Well, that'll make Giles happy - he really likes them, judging from how excited he seems to be about telling me they're coming back."
I've no idea what the story is, or was, with N. Hardy - though Digitiser was just one of countless journals he wrote to back in the 90s.
You'd have to ask Reverend Campbell whether he's got any clout with Tudor. I'm still waiting for Golden Wonder to bring back Sausage & Tomato.
KLF? I didn't have an opinion about them coming back until last week, when my friend Giles told me they were coming back. My opinion was - and remains - "Well, that'll make Giles happy - he really likes them, judging from how excited he seems to be about telling me they're coming back."
FORBIDDEN FRUIT
Your mentioning of seeing Stewart Lee reminded of the time I saw him in Forbidden Planet, losing his rag at his young son. It was quite shocking seeing him acting like a grump dad. Are you a grump dad? Telling your kids to shut up when you're reading the paper, making them eat aubergine, kicking Lego houses over, that sort of thing.
Jeremy Pile
Your mentioning of seeing Stewart Lee reminded of the time I saw him in Forbidden Planet, losing his rag at his young son. It was quite shocking seeing him acting like a grump dad. Are you a grump dad? Telling your kids to shut up when you're reading the paper, making them eat aubergine, kicking Lego houses over, that sort of thing.
Jeremy Pile
Do you know who I once saw in Forbidden Planet with his kids? Paul Weller. I couldn't tell whether he was being grumpy or not, alas.
Do you know who I saw coming out of the astrology and crystals hippy-type shop that's over the road from Forbidden Planet? Thingo - Bilbo Baggins/The Office Block/Watson-From-Sherlock. And his (now former) partner and their kids. He did seem like a grumpy dad.
Was I a grump dad? I don't think I was a grump dad, but most parents seem to spend the majority of their lives feeling guilty over those times they did lose their temper, or feel they let their kids down. And I'm no different.
More celebrity sightings, please. That's all for this week, children!
Do you know who I saw coming out of the astrology and crystals hippy-type shop that's over the road from Forbidden Planet? Thingo - Bilbo Baggins/The Office Block/Watson-From-Sherlock. And his (now former) partner and their kids. He did seem like a grumpy dad.
Was I a grump dad? I don't think I was a grump dad, but most parents seem to spend the majority of their lives feeling guilty over those times they did lose their temper, or feel they let their kids down. And I'm no different.
More celebrity sightings, please. That's all for this week, children!
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