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THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

29/9/2017

20 Comments

 
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Hello, loves. Been a funny old week. Last Sunday's ep of Found Footage hasn't done as well as the previous ones - despite being, in my opinion, great - yet I've had a lot of positive feedback from very unexpected sources, and done a few interviews around it - at last!

I'm also recording an interview on Monday with Radio 4's The Film Programme, ostensibly to talk about Pudsey The Dog The Movie, but I'll be sure to get some Found Footage pluggage in there. I'll let you know when it's being broadcast. There should also be an interview up on Polygon very soon. Again, I'll let you know.

And cheers for your own feedback. It means a lot. I've worked on this for over a year now, one way or another, and it's nice to know that it hasn't just disappeared into a void. I'm also pleased that people are properly getting into the ongoing mystery now, and trying to decipher the deeper story elements. That's going to ramp up a bit in the coming weeks. If you want a sense of where it's heading, make sure you watch the trailer for the finale. And share the heck out of it.

Meanwhile, on Digi... next week I should have a review of the Super NES Classic for you. And now? Tickets (letters), please!

If you would like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails early to this place here: 
digitiser2000@gmail.com
S'WINK
I spotted this tile on my Mother-in law's kitchen wall and thought of you. Also, I noticed it says "For all pens" on the label, which made me smile, because (as I'm sure you know) a female swan is called a pen.

Come to think of it, that's probably why they chose the name "Swan Ink" in the first place. All this talk of pens made me think of a joke: 

Man with sword: "What is mightier than my sword?"

Nude man: "My pen is"

Loving your work,
Col
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I briefly worked for my college magazine back in the day, and slightly got into trouble for designing a poster - which went up in the college canteen - which featured more or less the same joke (with the "PEN IS" part of "The Pen Is Mightier Than the Sword" much larger than the rest of the lettering). See? I was this sophisticated even then. Poopoobumbumwillies!
MOTHEMATICS
I have two kids, aged five and three. Among the things I try to teach them is respect for animals and that, even the annoying or creepy ones (except moths, of course - we kill those carpet-eating bastards on sight).

So when confronted with a spider, I now have to pretend to be all unconcerned and remove it from the house with the old glass & card trick, rather than going with my instincts which is to kill it with a shoe. Actually, we usually just leave spiders alone nowadays, because they eat the bastard moths.

But, y'know, instead of dealing with a fly by unleashing a canister of neurotoxin on them, if the kids are about I'll open a window and try to waft them towards it with a magazine, saying stuff like "There you go, Mr. Fly! You got lost in our house, did you? Let me help you find the way out". Respect for living things, innit? Stewardship of the planet, and that.

Anyway, there was a fly on the kitchen wall this morning, just sat there. I hadn't had my morning coffee, and without thinking, splatted it against the wall with my hand. Opening the window seemed like too much effort. My kids, aghast, said "You're supposed to help it to find a way out of the house!".

​Searching for a suitable justification for my tiny act of murder, I replied "I did help it find a way out - via Brannigan's Vortex".

I got some odd looks.

Anyway, hope you liked the letter, yeah? You can print it if you liked it. Or not. It doesn't really matter. Okay, bye. Yeah. Bye.
Steeeeve
I feel bad for the moths you've killed. They're annoying, but far too big to murder. They're basically working class butterflies.

To my regret, I usually try to help moths out of the window, but always brush off their magic dust accidentally, and then they can't fly anymore, and I end up mercy killing them, and feel bad every time.

But... flies. I hate flies so much. The thing about flies is that flies are disgusting because they hang around on poo, and if you're not constantly moving around they'll land on your face and spread their poo germs onto you. Flies can all rot in Hell as far as I'm concerned. Or the Vortex. One or the other.
TITLE
Another week, another Found Footage triumph.
 
Just one thing.

​Did you, even just for one second, ever consider making it a bit more, well, commercial? The liberal elites that make up the Digi audience will love it but will it play to those for whom great comedy is Mrs Browns Boys or The Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late Breakfast Show?
Chris Dyson
 
PS. Iain Lee with a beard is well fit.
Never for a second considered making it more commercial. I think the whole reason people backed me was to see what I came up with without that sort of pressure. The audience is out there. They'll find it eventually. As much as I enjoy writing proper telly, I needed a release from trying to make TV shows for everyone, so that I didn't one day throw myself under a train.
SINKCREDIBLE JOKE?
Dear Richard,

While you were out, that water dispense unit kept knocking on the door. Let that sink in.

Ta,
Pauline
Yeah, sweet. Nice one. Love it. Let's have some more of that, yeah?
HAND-ME-DO
I missed that Nintendo are set to release a Zelda mobile game sometime late this year/early next year. Surely this can only be a good thing? I enjoyed Super Mario Run - which is getting a new set of levels on the 29th - and wasted a couple of hours on Fire Emblem, which I was surprised to hear has been far and away Nintendo’s biggest mobile success.

I really hate it when you have to start buying gems/crystals/Sedgewicks to make tangible progress in a game, but I suppose that’s what the mobile format is all about. A lot of casual sexism, too. One of the female characters in my latest time-sink (HAWK: Freedom Squadron) shows her arse to the player every time she’s on screen. What’s that all about? (I think I know what it’s all about.)

Anyway. Any good mobile game recommendations while I wait for Zelda to come out? Anyone?
Richard.
I recommend this: Inks. 
THE 50 Q'S OF WHYTE
1. The more that I think about it, the more I feel that The Last of Us is the best game ever made. Let's forget the fact, for now, that applying objective terms to a subjective medium is fatuous, but while many games have made a big impact on me, often for years afterwards, there's something about TLoU that stays with me as no others have.

Some criticise it for being all story, which is clearly unfair but it excels in ways that games generally do not. The gameplay is enjoyable, tense and brutal in a manner befitting the, admittedly contrived, situation the characters find themselves in.

I think it is the characters more than the story that haunt me so - they are rounded humans, unheroic and flawed. I wasn't sure about the ending to begin with but I found myself not wanting to save Ellie because of the cost of other people's lives - how many games can make you resent doing what is the point of most?

2. Many speculate that so-called E-Sports will become huge spectator events in the future - arguably they have already. I foresee their popularity growing certainly but I question how big they can become when, unlike many real sports, there is generally only one tactic/character/style that wins in each game.

Obviously that is a generalisation but not many people win Street Fighter tournaments with Blanka or T-Hawk. The most popular sports are those where there are many ways to win or to play successfully and due to the nature of computer games, I feel that this will limit E-Sports' potential. Do you have any thoughts on this?

3. Do you have any thoughts on the Chinese Room 'going dark' as they put it. I admire their work a lot, probably more than I actually enjoy it, but I find their situation frustrating. I do understand their desire to do something else ,but their argument, if you will allow me to be reductivist, is essentially that 'we' should pay them to make a totally different sort of game from the ones that we like from them. That is admirable but I'm not sure what they expect from customers.

4. As for what is going on in Found Footage, Xenoxxx Industries take their name from the Greek word meaning strange/foreign and the XXX is added to trick us into believing that they are producers of strange adult material. I take a different view, however. I think that Xenoxxx is actually a heroic organisation set up to save the world from Sir Clive Spectrum and Steven Wozniak.

The image of the masked coroners is of a corrupting alien artifact that turned Woz & Clive into Mediterranean-style perverts who wish to use the emerging computer technology of the time to corrupt the minds of children and adults alike. It seems likely that bad sausages, perhaps from Scotland (calm down, Reverend Campbell) are used as the vector for the mind-controlling substances that turn people into crazed anti-Amiga zealots.

Xenoxxx's main facility was destroyed in a past conflict by the minions of Woz & Clive Sync (sic) leading them to recruit a group of special individuals to lead the fightback. The Tea Prancer's tea helps to halt the spread of infection but the true cure is the Goujons of Goujon John.

​His seemingly evil appearance is a cover story to make sure that his cure does not gain the attention of Wozniak and C-Live before he has built up enough fit and healthy Goujonians lest the Games Animal Dave Perry be set upon them with a Mario 64 cartridge. Either that, or maybe it's an elaborate marketing ploy for Sensorium Girlybox's next Xmas single.
John Whyte
1. I too think that The Last of Us is one of the greatest games ever. It's the only game where I've ever feared for the lives of the characters. I've such a love-hate relationship with story in games, but Naughty Dog manage to balance it so well that their stories and gameplay are part and parcel of the same thing, and become inseparable from one another.

​2. If you'd asked me some years back, I'd have said that e-sports would never have taken off in the way that it did. Now, though, the most popular videos on YouTube are just of people playing games. I used to hate the challenges on Games Master, but I've come around to the idea. As with most things on YouTube, it's kind of dependent on the personality of the YouTuber - and as such, I think that's the best way for e-sports to get more of a foothold; build the personalities, turn them into wrestler-type figures.

3. I read about The Chinese Room, and it's quite a sad situation - people losing jobs, stability, and the company's bosses are clearly exhausted and frustrated by the development process. I think it's entirely their right to make the sorts of games they're drawn to make. And, of course, development isn't cheap, so it only makes sense that they'd ask for people to hand over monies. Which nobody is obliged to do, of course, and it's what the best crowdfunding is for; you're investing in that person, and trusting in what they make with your money. Please back me on Patreon.

​4. Well. Interesting theory. Get thee over to Brannigan's Vortex on Facebook, where there are even more interesting theories, and attempts to unravel the mysteries of Xenoxxx...
CH-CH-CHANGES EXPLAINED
Explain the reasoning behind the recent change to your Twitter profile picture. Differentiate between pragmatic and emotional reasons.

Yrs
Professor Examination
Uh... I thought it was funny? Or are you being a bit troll-y? There's been a bit of that going on this week, intriguingly. Just be nice and kind, everyone, yeah? You'll feel better about yourself.

There's nothing beyond just trying to entertain.  Though... it was weird, really. When I was trying to get Twitter verified the other day - because, apparently, the big playas on Twitter don't take you seriously unless you're in their exclusive club, and it'd be nice if at least one of them tweeted about Found Footage - and played the "drama" out on Twitter itself, a lot of people took it at face value. Do I need to let off a klaxon when I'm being serious, so you all know?
MYST'
A time of mystery. 

When you done your review of old Master System art you reminded me of an old mystery and how it was solved. 

It was solved by a hedgehog. A blue one. 

The arrival of Sonic heralded the end of an era. It was a time of two schools of thought. The first believing that the correct pronunciation of Sega was See-gah. The leader of this merry group was called Neil. Neil would invite me to eat at his house and play John Maddens Football. Dinner would involve his older brothers repeatedly farting in my face and all over my food.

Gaming would involve me being repeatedly beaten as I complained loudly about not knowing what the rules are and how they wouldn't explain what the buttons did. 

And also long arguments against the trio about how pronouncing the benevolent Japanese gaming companies name 'Say-gah' was an idiotic view that only compounded the fact that I was a 'bad meff'. 

You can only imagine the relief and joy that accompanied the short moment after the  insertion of the Sonic cartridge and sliding the power on button. 

"SAY-GAH". Unmistakable. Irrefutable. Crystal clear proof. The mystery was solved at last. And, most importantly it indicated that I may not be a bad meff after all. 

I felt at that age that gloating was not the thing to do. Silence was key. My lack of delight in being right was the ultimate revenge, right? 

Well that's the problem. That's the sort of thing a bad meff would do. I had an opportunity to win for once and assumed that staying silent was the best thing. What an idiot.

So I'd just like to say, "HAHA NEIL! WHOSE THE BAD MEFF NOW? EH? WHERE'S YOUR SEEEEGAH MEGADRIVE NOW, SON? EH? 

SAYYYYY-GAH! 

SAYYYYY-GAH! 
​
SAYYYYYEEEEEE-GAAAAAAARRRRGH!

I. 
FART. 
ON. 
YOUR. 
DINNER!" 


Anyway hope you're having a lovely day.
Eean
I'm having the same issue now with Xenoxxx, to the point that I've taken to spelling it in scripts as "Zenox" so that people don't say "Zee-nox".
SEE GULLS
After watching each episode of Found Footage I increasingly notice seagulls. They are watching me. They are monitoring my every move. Additionally, I no longer live anywhere near the coast. Could these feathered entities be Xenoxxx employees?

Yours truly (concerned),
AGeekyGirl
@1waytofindout
The one you need to be watching out for is The Silvery Bird
GAMING MILL'S LONG-OVERDUE LETTER
I'm sending this via my hospital bed after recovering from 'unexpected surgery', this time on my ankle again, which is what they were supposed to have fixed the first time round a few weeks ago. I asked them why and all I can remember them saying was that is was due to 'unexpected complications'.

Why is everything here always unexpected? Apparently they did tell me what was actually wrong but I sort of glazed over because I was more interested in watching the Pied Wagtails darting around on the grass outside. I like Pied Wagtails; you can see them actually accelerate when they start running. 

I've had a pretty rotten time of it the past few months and to cap it all off not only did I leave my laptop in my Smoking Brother's car when he dropped me off but he can't pick me up today because his fiance gave birth this morning so I'm going to have to catch buses home - that'll be fun with two crutches and a sports bag that I forgot to attach the over-the-shoulder carrying strap to.

There's no way I'm paying about £40 for a taxi - I once got a taxi from Devon back to home. £450. With hindsight I should have asked him the price before he set off. Still, £450.

On the plus side I am in my own private room. I have no idea why, but I have my own bathroom, can turn the lights on and off and even control the temperature. I set it to SUPER COLD.

​The old duffers in here moan like buggery when they walk past my room because of the draught but that's my payback for their use of the call the nurse button continously through the night...Oh, that and their habit of breaking wind so very loudly no matter who is present. They can't ALL be suffering from the same 'condition'. 

I really want to go for a pint when I get back but I can't walk into town and there will be no buses after 8pm. Suppose I'll have to get a taxi. 

I am unfit but still strong and that is all,
Gaming Mill.

P.S. Look what I can see from my window!

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That's weird, Gaming Mill. I see the exact same thing whenever I look out of a window! Literally any window. Get well soon, ya big hunk.
TAYTOS
With all this "Found Footage" malarky, my darling children have decreed Mr Biffo to be be my favourite "sheep-potato".

Well, they say "Ewe-Tuber".
​
But there you go.

Yours in unending gratitude.
Lummox60N
I made it! I'm somebody's favourite YouTuber! Whooooooooosh!
MEANWHILE, UNDER THE BRIDGE...
Last week in the letters you disclosed whence you came across Goujon John amongst others. This reminded me of a question I wanted to ask about Found Footage.

That is found footage almost exclusively men? We have Goujon John, Flansy C-Bong, Armstrong Wong, Benji Coleslaw, Starboy 5000, Music Chute guy, Swan paints guy, etc.

All of the songs have a male vocal and are often about men, all of the cartoons feature men. I don't think an independent surreal comedy internet show needs to hit diversity targets or anything. But if you gender swapped all the characters, people would probably think you were doing a Ghostbusters. That is, making everyone a women for the sake of it.

What really brought this into focus was when I visited Fiverr, and see just how many women there are offering the same services as men.

I understand when it's people you know they can't help being men, but there are a lot of outside hires, so this must be a deliberate policy.

I dismissed rampant misogyny as the reason, so what could the reason be?
Do you not feel women are as funny as men? Do you have trouble writing female characters? Do you have trouble asking women to do embarrassing things?
I ruled out the last one, as you have multiple kids I think.
​

Maybe it is your experience working in film and TV that has taught you to extend an old adage to "Never work with children, animals, or women."

All that said, Sunday's episode of FF featured 3 womens I think it was. The lady in the shoppe, Funtron 8, Dirty Chaps voiceover. So maybe all the women are back loaded into the later episodes.

Anyway I have to get the dog in now.
Bye
Azimov Valinor

P.S. I'm not sure seeing behind the curtain of where you found GJ was a good thing.
After finding him on twitter I was disappointed he is isn't tweeting out Found Footage as part of his portfolio.

You're a curious fellow, Azimov. I sometimes wonder if you're trying to troll me over on Twitter, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that - despite answering this question a couple of weeks ago - your query is sincere, and you've simply got a cack-handed style of communication which comes across as rude, and that isn't your intent.

​Bottom line is: a lot of women worked on Found Footage, including my other half who has been part of it every step of the way. There have, in fact, been women in every single episode, and Violet Berlin herself is one of the stars of the finale.

But - yes - as I've said before, I'm frustrated that I've yet to get more of them in a main, on-camera, speaking role. It wasn't without trying, but I didn't have the resources to cast the show in the way a proper show would be cast, so I would have to ask favours of people, and enquire whether they knew anyone who might fit with the style of Found Footage. It's just the way the cards fell this time.

And as for asking whether I have trouble writing female characters... well, I've worked in TV for close to 20 years, and wrote two long-running series starring Dani Harmer. So... y'know. Don't be stupid.
THE HORROR
Well, blimey. Found Footage grows more fiendishly intriguing with every episode, deftly blending the silly and the sinister to smashing effect. D'you know, I haven't looked forward to seeing the next episode of a show so much in absolutely ages.

Fave moments from Whimsy Rodgers, aside from the eponymous soggy flesh-orb, include Goujon John's Olde English Goujon Shoppe (the Goujon Swan is truly a work of art) and the masterfully nasty downward spiral of Do You Remember This? - which is one of the best fusions of horror and humour I've ever encountered.

Things billed as "comedy horror" almost never accomplish the feat of being funny and creepy at the same time; they tend to swing from one extreme to the other, and the switches of tone can be jarring.

Do You Remember This? genuinely had me chuckling and wincing simultaneously, and I think it may be my favourite bit from the entire series to date. Also, the intro song (complete with decreasingly enthusiastic "Yeah" each time round) is just perfect. Top stuff, Mr B!

The numerous clues as to the conspiracy lurking behind everything, meanwhile, have set my brain pinging like a haunted microwave. The straight-up mention of interdimensional travel, in association with the mysterious Brannigan's Vortex, does seem to indicate that we're looking at transmissions from an alternate version of Earth where things have gone badly awry with society in general; then again, perhaps they're from our own future at a point where we need to escape to another reality in order to survive.

Either way, it appears that the act of travelling through the vortex isn't wholly compatible with remaining human-shaped, or even meaningfully alive (if Whimsy Rodgers and the fate of poor Yuri are anything to go by), and Xenoxxx Industries seem intent on conditioning viewers of their broadcasts to accept the idea of being "reconfigured" for the journey, while also trying to make them as paranoid and discomfited – and yet compliant – as possible, so they'll acquiesce to making the trip.

Have we glimpsed the man behind all this? Is the caped weirdo with the moustache and the big mop of curly hair none other than Lord Brannigan-7 himself? It's impossible to know for sure at this point, but he's clearly a significant figure in the sinister goings-on; he looks to be overseeing the Maskies' experiments, and his face appears in the background during the "Obey, Behave" sequence in A Song For Boys Only.

And what of Goujon John? It's surely him we see being tinkered with in the laboratory, but to what end? Did Xenoxxx create him, or did they try to change him in some way? I'm undecided, but whatever the case, I get the distinct impression that things haven't gone according to plan where GJ is concerned.

It seems he's addressing the Xenoxxx bods directly with his ominous line, "You should never have activated me", and he shifts momentarily into some sort of virtual form when he says it, perhaps indicating that he's breaking free of their control. Could Goujon John actually be on the viewers' side? It seems so unlikely, and yet...

Goodness, this has gone on a bit, hasn't it? I shall call a halt at this point before your monitor collapses through the desk due to the sheer weight of letters within this e-missive. Suffice it to say, I'm keenly anticipating episode four!

Yours enthusiastically,
Matt Smith​
I love that so many people are buying into the story of Found Footage. You don't have to invest in it to enjoy the episodes thus far - I hope - but I think it's a richer, more unique, experience if you do. I'm interested to see what people make of this Sunday's episode. It's probably a bit more continuity-heavy - and maybe less funny for it - but it's an important chapter in the overall story.

Anyway, hats off to Chris Jerden-Cooke for his Do You Remember This? theme, and the decreasing enthusiasm in his "yeahs".
CONSOLVER AND OUT
Dear Mr Biffo,

Hope this letter finds you well. Really enjoying FF!

Have consoles as we know and love them had their day?

Imagine only being able to watch Star Wars if you had an LG telly. You’d spoil your own pants!

Okay now imagine only owning a PS4 and not being able to play Mario Odyssey on it.

And imagine going into GAME or whatever and seeing hundreds of games, old and new, compilations, all kinds of hardware from all manufacturers that all play nicely together proudly touting their USPs - portability, 4K, retro styling… you name it, sister!

Imagine being able to recommend a game to somebody and them being able to play it without buying old hardware or getting all nefarious on the web’s high seas.

Imagine a game developer being able to invest in one version of their game and being able to take that to one big fat market?

It’s easy if you try!

The business model is stale like left out bread with a fly on it sicking up on it.
DEAN​
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Deanoooooo! Thanks for another remarkable collage. Consoles haven't had their day at all. In fact, the Switch has reawakened my love for console gaming. And today I took receipt of a Super NES Mini, which I'm very excited about. But... I think the more the PS4 and Xbox One get closer to a PC, with their hideous updates an ting, the more the point of consoles is being lost. They're meant to be convenient, yet every time I now go to play a PS4 or Xbox One game my heart sinks rather. What a shame.

Anyhow. Remember now: there's another ep of Mr Biffo's Found Footage going live on Sunday night at 9pm UK time, and I'll be watching it with you. Looking forward to what you make of this one...

20 Comments
Young Michael
29/9/2017 12:33:37 pm

The woe attached to console updates is getting silly, you know it can do it automatically without you even deigning to touch the system right gramps? It's been a pain in the arse for me precisely once, and that was my fault because I didn't have the right setting applied. Last week I bought a game on my work PC, told my PS4 to download it for me, and my PS4 turned itself on and gently hummed away in my empty room, then the game was ready when I got home

Reply
Neptunium
29/9/2017 02:11:48 pm

I sort of agree with you, but this was Biffo's case:

1. Puts in a brand new (~1 week old) game he just acquired from the shops.
2. Forced to download 5 jiggorbytes immediately before he can play it
3. The auto update stuff doesn't work properly, causing him to make blood curdling honking noises

So there seems multiple layers of wrongness here:

a. Why is he being forced to download 5GB of extra "stuff" a week after release? Maybe a few hundred megs for a "patch" is acceptable so shortly after release, but 5GB is the download size for Mario Odyssey.

b. Why do we have to wait to put the disc in for the first time to download these huge patches? Maybe this would have been more palatable if you can tell the console "I'm going to buy this game" and it could pre-load those patches so when you come bouncing home from the shops with your shiny new disc, you can play straight away?

c. We'll never know why it failed, because Herr Biffo didn't give us all the deets, man, but if there were any issues (free space on the drive?) why wasn't this flagged up earlier? The download should be bulletproof - when you're expecting user input for stuff that should just be done automagically in the background, you're going to waste folk's time and annoy them.

Reply
Young Michael the Skateboarding Dude
29/9/2017 02:21:35 pm

Mario Odyssy is a very different game to Destiny though. For a kick off, it's stand alone with (as far as I know) no online business,, so you don't have to factor other players into it. Secondly, Destiny is going to be ever evolving. It isn't released in a 'finished' state because it won't be finished until it is no longer profitable to keep working on it. 5 gig is big, but I've already seen, and frankly would expect, bigger.

The download process truly takes about 20 seconds to tell you there isn't enough space, I can see an exasperated Mr. Biffo (more like Mr. Miffo) thinking "IT WASN'T LIKE THIS WITH THE SPECCY" and marching purposefully away from the console after selecting 'ok'. As you say though, we will never know

Chris
29/9/2017 05:01:12 pm

The auto-update stuff never works properly in my experience. I definitely have it set, but 9 times out of ten I turn on the PS4 to find it's bizarrely half-way through downloading an update for the game I want to play. This can't be a coincidence.

Even on my fast broadband installing a large patch pretty much every time I want to play anything gets tiring quite quickly.

Mrtankthreat
29/9/2017 02:40:47 pm

I'm with Steeeeve in that I try not to kill insects and spiders and such that I see in the house but you shouldn't put spiders outside if you don't want to kill them. They are called house spiders for a reason. They have adapted to live indoors and will freeze to death outside.

I'm not with John Whyte however. I thought The Last of Us was an excruciating experience of over hyped, pallet moving, wheeling bin pushing, linear tedium.

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Hamptonoid
3/10/2017 12:51:58 pm

Earlier this year I was trying (unsuccessfully) to remove a fly from the house with a cup and paper. After watching me for several minutes, my old man said "look, this is how you should do it" and quite literally snatched the fly out of the air with his bare hand. He then opened the window, opened his hand, and the fly buzzed away unharmed. I've no doubt that he could have used chopsticks if he had washed to.

I'm with JW - my favourite game/story of all time, but ironically I wouldn't want to play it again because, well, it just wouldn't be as good secondition time around. Said that, I've always wondered why it was lauded so highly , whereas "games" like Heavy Rain don't get held up in the same light.

Reply
Koozebane
29/9/2017 02:56:15 pm

I'm not sure if the ear worm that is the song for boys has greatly improved my life or is slowly driving me insane. It has been whirling round my head all week. Although sung with lots of doobie-dos and the miss-remembered line of #be a proctologist and hang around in bars#. Which is making me greatly regret my life choices. Fingers up bums and booze. How sweet my life could have been. BEHAVE.

Reply
Starbuck
29/9/2017 10:04:20 pm

Talking of Biffo-based ear worms (or the internal jukebox as I like to call it), I'm still badly suffering from endless QUIZ-ME-DO...

Reply
Chris JC
1/10/2017 01:26:53 pm

Ouch. That’s some long-term worming.

John
29/9/2017 05:19:13 pm

Wow - a childhood memory trawled up from the depths... It was totally See-Gah right until Sonic arrived.

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Biscuits the character
29/9/2017 05:57:43 pm

Look at that collage! A more powerful allegory for the current state of the gaming 'biz' I am yet to see

Reply
Jessica
29/9/2017 08:45:06 pm

be careful GamingMill! Don't look away and all that

Reply
DEAN
30/9/2017 12:22:49 pm

Oh, Biscuits, you're too kind! Thanks, man!

Reply
Chaffin
29/9/2017 08:16:20 pm

That really is a glorious collage. Truly dreamy

Reply
DEAN
30/9/2017 12:23:52 pm

What a lovely compliment - thanks!

Reply
Matthew Long
29/9/2017 11:09:49 pm

Congratulations to everyone who managed to get hold of a SNES Classic Mini.

I hate you.

Reply
porterhouse
30/9/2017 01:28:08 pm

Real talk, and if this in any way detracts from anyone's enjoyment then I have failed and am even more worthy of your disregard then you may previously have expected: but why do people want these so much? Just to hold the pad again? It's hard to take people seriously when they talk of Nintendo being for the gamers, seeing how in demand stuff like the SNES mini is among that very throng. Isn't this a cheap cash grab using old assets?

Reply
Matthew Long
30/9/2017 08:09:46 pm

It was just a little joke, love!

colincidence link
30/9/2017 06:38:04 am

YouTube Personalities tend to whip up my envy complex as I can't understand how their perceived charisma works, what their audience sees in them... Maybe when eSports is based around personality, there can be separate leagues for proficiency, wit, endearingness and, like, Nazi apologism.

Reply
Spiney O'Sullivan
1/10/2017 06:22:13 pm

The way I see it, it's like how people start to get the idea that TV personalities are their friends because they see them every week, only on Youtube they have near-total access to that person's life, depending on how dangerously little the YouTube cares about privacy.

Reply



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