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THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

26/5/2017

56 Comments

 
Things got a bit full-on earlier this week on Digi didn't they? I successfully managed to write myself into a bit of a "mauve" mood. Most unlike me, but if anything I've learned from the experience it's that I don't have a self-help book in me. Unless I want to quite literally write myself off a very high bridge.

So, after a rather challenging week, what we probably need is some sweet Friday Letters action to pick us all up.

If you would like to appear on next week's page, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone - please send your emails to this place here: 
digitiser2000@gmail.com

Let's do this.
THE STORY OF CREATION
I write this letter in the somewhat late news of the latest Sonic game containing a make-your-own- character thing. I am not really sure how to feel about it to be honest.

On one hand, I used to like the Blue Blur back in the day, and a part of me still appreciates the super short time (if you're good) running though The Green Hill Zone. I also found plenty to like in his admirably buggy and overall, not good, but somehow enjoyable and silliness that came from his early 3D games, when most old school fans decided he was no good no more.

Also, despite not being enough of a fan to create my own Sonic Style Character, I will admit I have a soft spot for games which allows such a thing. I managed to entertain myself for hours making Miis on the Wii, and borrowed WWE games from my friends, despite knowing next to nothing about the sport just to see what style of freaks I could make fight Hulk Hogan and Company.

On the other hand, I am not what I would call a Die Hard Sonic fan, and very much past aware that his track record for good games has been very poor, like that bollocks with the hover boards. And the guns (okay, that was Shadow, but still). Also, its hard to think about "Sonic OCs" or the current Sonic fandom without a high degree on cringe. 

On the Other OTHER hand, I do not want to look down on the people who will treat any new Sonic game as The Second Coming. I feel I was like that once (but not as bad... I hope), and do not want to bully people who's only crime in being passionate about something they love.

While Sonic based OCs weren't my jam, I did make up cringe stories "roughly" based on super cool characters, like Sonic, but they were actually me. That eventually led me to learning how to make stories and characters without a cringe factor (or at least less of one) without resorting to self-insertion or blatant plagiarism. Gotta start somewhere and all that jazz.

So, that concludes my thoughts on New Sonic with extra rambling. On a completely different note, I have a Found Footage question: Do you use old timey equipment to get the old school look or do you "fix it in post"?
Funnynameson Jones from Not-Kent
So what you're saying is... you used to like games which let you create weird-looking characters, but you're a bit suspicious of the character creation thing in the new Sonic game, because Sonic games are usually rubbish these days? Dat right? 

Anyhow. Found Footage... all the olde-worlde effects are done in post-production using a variety of techniques (reducing the saturation, upping the blur - using plug-ins). I'm playing around with it a bit more in the full series, so that each clip has a slightly different look to it - always somewhat retro-ish, but pushing the colours and the degraded quality in different ways. 

There used to be a bloke on London's Tottenham Court Road - in the basement of a bag shop - who sold bootleg tapes. It was all done by word of mouth - he didn't advertise. Obviously because what he was selling was, technically, illegal. You had to head downstairs and ask to see his book, and he'd hand over a big, ring-bound folder, which listed all the bootlegs he had.

I used to love getting them - there was something about the hiss and crackle of a bootleg, the distorted sound, the accidental snatches of conversation, which I always found really interesting. That's something I'm trying to capture, but with video, in Found Footage.

I sometimes like the older production on records too; it made it somehow more other-worldly.
THINKING TOO HARD
I’ve been thinking about Found Footage.

You say that there are clues strewn about the place and some are retina-detachingly obvious. Being a self-confessed master of the obvious, I couldn’t help but stick my sticky beak right up its sticky hole.

It hit me like a pink diamond bullet - this is a right old sausagefest, amiright?!

I donned my thinking cap (cone-shaped and emblazoned with a proud ‘D’) and pulled my best analysis squint.

Xenoxxx… sounds like retro filth. Xenomorphs married with a blue XXX quality. Less a fairer sex and more a stranger one. Or XENO-X XX… Y, could it be a chromosome reference?

I know you like the Aliens movies and as any fan will tell you, Giger’s penismen are officially recorded as XENOMORPH XX121.

Som shi' down wit dat, aight, dawg?

Indeed it ruddy well is! The clip of the fleeing bottom is obviously an Alien parody… The Alien movies are notable for strong female characters…

Yes, this is half-baked psychobabble but I’m as convinced as a drunk sailor looking for love in a Bangkok club.

Am I woofing up the right old bark or just cocking my leg for a piss? Throw me a frickin' rib here!
Dean
Look, Dean... Deano... Deansmith... when I said there were clues all over the place, I never said they'd be subtle. Have you learned nothing about me? I don't do subtle well. That said, nobody has actually guessed precisely what's going on - in part, because you've not actually seen the series yet, and you've not seen what's going on. That said... you might've hit the nail on the head, but in all honesty I've no idea what you're rambling on about.

​Once the series starts, you won't have long to get some answers.
SHOW-OFF
Just thought I'd let you know that I'm going to Disneyland on Monday.
Adam Grimsdale
Well, that's just cruel. Disneyland isn't quite as good as Disney World however, but I've not been to the latter in nearly ten years now. It remains my favourite place on earth (though my sofa comes a close second)...

Man... I'm gasping for a holiday... I always get like it around this time of year, when my creative batteries need a bit of a flash-charge. Plus, given the state of things in the world... I could really do with something to look forward to.

It's exacerbated because I didn't get a summer holiday last year, through a combination of relative poverty and having been punched quite badly in the face. Consequently, I've spent much of this week looking up Orlando deals, and quietly weeping at my inability to afford them...

​Too... many... children...
THE MANY QUESTIONS OF JOHN WHYTE
1. Even though they don't have a great reputation, somewhat deservedly, there have been some good games based on films. Which one have you enjoyed the most? Also as publishers no longer seem to make 'games of the film' i.e. recreating specific scenes, do you think that that has helped to improve their quality or hasn't made any appreciable difference?

2. Platformers were previously the dominant genre of game, critically and commercially up until the end of the 16-bit era. While not so bound to a generation the same could be said about real-time strategy games. Which, if any, of today's popular game styles could be the next to disappear from prominence?

3. 
Does anyone remember the football game European Champions? I had it on Amiga and thought that it was brilliant. It had many innovative features and it played more like modern FIFA/PES than the original FIFA.
John Whyte
1. Weirdly, I started to write an article about BAD film-based games earlier this week, and then the whole Manchester thing kicked off, then I wrote that bloody article about depression, which - hilariously - made me feel a bit miserable, and so I didn't do it.

Goldeneye has to be the best surely? And that rather closely recreated the movie.

Though I loved Star Wars: Dark Forces, and that was an original story set in the Star Wars universe. Actually, though... the one I have the most fond memories of is Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, point-and-clicker on my Atari ST. Weird that. Ultimately, it's just down to the quality of the game - doesn't matter whether it sticks closely to the story or not.

2. I think there has to come a tipping point with open world map-moppers. Open world games won't go away, but that Ubisoft model has become such a cliche now that somebody is going to find a new approach to it sooner or later... and then everybody is going to copy that.

3. I don't remember this.
DREDD WEDGE
The recent talk of the Dredd movies made me wonder what you make of any of the 2000 AD fan films, for example this...
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5EZaO1HPF4&feature=youtu.be
 
Personally I can never manage more than about 5 minutes of most fan films. The people making it do a fabulous job with the look of thing, but the dialogue and performances are often so ropey it can be painful watching. So when people (traditionally idiots) say things like “no-one watches science fiction for the dialogue and performances” well they’re wrong aren’t they.
Chris Dyson
Funnily enough, I watched that Strontium Dog film the other day. I'm sort of with you; so many fan films look amazing, and are real technical achievements, but are let down by performances. Actors and performers often come in for a lot of stick, but what they can bring to a production shouldn't be underestimated.

​It's partly why I've kept my role in Found Footage to a minimum, because I don't think I can act. I only get in front of the camera when there's nobody else to do it, or something humiliating is required that I couldn't possibly ask somebody else to do. 

I wish I could do the effects though; it's the one area of Found Footage that I've found a struggle. I've earmarked a small pool of the budget for some CGI... but I do wish I knew how to do it myself. I'd love some visuals like those seen in a lot of fan films.
CHALKY
A long-ish time ago when I was a young boy, our class at school got to do some painting for the day, using those lousy, chalky poster paints you'd get.

It was pretty fun and all, and at the end, as we were discarding all the unused paint down the sink, I thought it might be fun to swirl my hands through all the liquid and mix it all into a chalky grey slurry.

What I hadn't considered was that in doing so, I'd be left with grubby grey mitts. Oopsie daisy! I went to the little boys' room to wash my hands (I don't know why I didn't just use the classroom sink), but when I got there, I hit upon a spark of innovation. Why not spruce up this boring boys' bathroom? Give it a bit of pizazz?

I promptly pressed my grey hands against the bathroom wall, creating a row of prints above the sinks. I stood back and admired my handiwork (pun INTENDED), rinsed off, and returned to class. 

The following day, at the school assembly, our headteacher stood at the front of the hall and started bellowing with rage. "SOMEONE has DEFACED our beloved boys' bathroom. They have SMEARED disgraceful handprints ALL OVER THE PLACE and the poor caretaker has spent all morning cleaning it up. If ANYONE knows who has done this, please report to me AT ONCE".

I was stunned. Mortified. I wasn't trying to be a neucance. It wasn't an act of vandalism. It was art! An attempt to liven up the bathroom with, thinking retrospectively, a fairly drab colour. I started panicking. Would they trace the unique handprints to my DNA? Did someone in my class see me making the grey slop in the classroom sink? I was always a good boy at school. I couldn't bear the thought of getting in trouble, especially as I had wholly good intentions. And so, I said nothing.

​I have kept this secret from my school teachers to this day, some 23 years later. I hope that if they somehow read this letter, they can find it in their hearts to forgive me and somehow move on with their lives. 

Anyway, what do you think of rogue-likes? Do you have any favourites? Spelunky and Binding of Isaac are totally killer. 
James "Couk" Downing
Yeah, I liked both of those, but there's something about the randomly-generated level which doesn't always appeal to me, though. I like the idea that I'm playing something which has been curated by a human hand. Press reveal to see something you curated with your human hand.
REVEAL:
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ON MASS
I got caught up in the various promotions of Mass Effect Andromeda before it was released. I watched the official videos, previews and what not and, although never having played a Mass Effect game before, decided it looked like a game I would enjoy.

I like open worlds, I like collecting stuff and I love stats and levelling up weapons. I pre-ordered it and when it arrived I sat and played it for a few hours (at least 7 hours).

Did not like it one bit.

Couldn't definitely say what it was I didn't like, but I just did not enjoy it at all. I instead downloaded the Nier Automata demo and loved every second of it.  Returned Mass Effect and swapped it for Nier.
​
I am still playing Nier and although there are a few weird technical oddities, the game itself is full of surprises and keeps the interest and joy of wanting to play a video game, and I get to collect stuff and upgrade my weapons. I love to do that!

My only criticism is the main character's wardrobe choice which seems ill designed for manic combat. Can you even walk on sand in high heels? And no, I haven't looked up her skirt when she climbs up a ladder. Ok, I have.
​
Anyone who says they haven't is a liar.
Seam
I'm still yet to play Andromeda. I didn't like the earlier Mass Effect games - yes, I know... heresy - but much as I appreciated the look and the world-building... they were still fairly archaic in terms of that horrible approach to RPGs, which has scarcely changed since the early days. 

I've been tempted by Nier, but... I fear I'll hate it like I did Yakuza 0. So much so that I didn't even bother reviewing it, because it seems so beloved, and I couldn't be bothered with all the grief.
GAMING MILL'S LETTER
Hello!

I went to the Retro Rivival: The Rivals last Saturday.

I met the wonderful Mr Biffo and the equally wonderful Dave 'The Games Animal' Perry. Neither were a patch on me mind.

It was a brilliant day, even though it cost me just over £70 to get a taxi home - my Smoking Brother decided to drive home because my nephew (he's six) was bored. Bored?! At a free-to-play retro thing?! Some people.

Delicious day though, and I shall be attending again next year.

Oh, I fell over later in the day (not booze related) when I got home - I think it's something to do with the concussion I have from two or three weeks ago. Also, I need to have a shave. I also wish I still lived in America with my gorgeous wife - not divorced (yet), but hey - she might take me back... and she's probably reading this too!

I am not fit but I'm incredibly strong,
Gaming Mill.

P.S. Gaming Mill and Mr Biffo!
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Splendid to meet you. I may borrow your technique of wearing a balaclava in photographs. Even family ones.
FULL STOP
hi can you imagine a scenario where all the punctuation keys and special characters on my keyboard stopped working even the return key so that i could only type this email as one huge long sentence and the shift key doesn't work either so i cant even capitalise to differentiate sentences i suppose if writing something like can not i could keep it in long form rather than cant but i just cant bring myself to do it do you see what i did there ho ho so yeah if ocean were to make a game of found footage but back in the 80s what kind of game do you think it would be regards bruce flagpole ps this was harder to do than i expected but about as funny ie not particularly.
Whatever Ocean did back in the day it was inevitably a platform game. And a found footage-y version of a platformer might actually be something to behold.

Incidentally, your punctuation and grammar-challenged letter was only slightly worse than most of the emails we receive.
WE ALL NEED A HOLIDAY
I was on holiday and saw this:
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It's probably a haven for delinquent children, but at least keeps them away from his bins during school hours.
David W.
I think he'd rather they stayed away from his beach cafe.
SNOW JOKE HA HA 
​Hello Mr Biffo - IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME,

I tried going to channel 888 on my tellybox, but instead of the expected Triple Snowman Channel, I ended up stuck on something called Psychic Today. They weren’t even psychic snowmen.

How do I claim my licence fee back, and/or find the snowmen?

Orange cordially,
deKay (@deKay01)
Press reveal to find out how to claim back your licence fee.
REVEAL:
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AT IT
Local street artists have been at it again. Here is their latest work, which I believe is the most pitiful attempt at a Dalek ever..
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Paul Dunning
Thing is... that's precisely the sort of thing you could imagine Russell T Davies having as a monster in Doctor Who. Moffat's monsters are less "Everyday objects which come to life" than "Generic monster with unique ability" - like a monster that only appears when you do a poo, so you have to hold your poo in to stay alive.

​Talking of which...

MR PSB'S POO STORY
Dearest Biffles,

The physical tribulations I've shared over the past few weeks are over, but in their place came a mental malaise that I seem to have shaken off for now this evening.  I enjoyed your writings about being a mental and it inspired me to write my fourth book, which I include here:

MR BIFFO AND THE BIG SHOP

Once upon a time there was a boy called Mr Biffo who used to be a very good boy, but due to recent multiple egregious violations of toilet etiquette was just a boy once more and we’ll say no more about it.  Mr Biffo was sitting quietly rubbing his tummy, and hoping that poo would come out if he rubbed in the correct way when his parents said “Mr Biffo we will make you a deal: if you go to the shops and buy the shopping for us we will upgrade you back to a good boy, although a very good boy is still some way out of your reach until we've somehow managed to get the stains out of the walls and ceiling.”

Mr Biffo yearned terribly to be a very good boy once again, and figured that being a good boy was A Good Start, so he immediately agreed. He asked “What shopping do you need me to buy?” And his parents said “Well now, I’m sure a good boy would know that” so Mr Biffo said “OK, as I am striving to be a good boy I will decide” and off he went with one of those new plastic five pound notes that are made of beef or something.  Anyway.

 As he roamed the aisles of the shops, Mr Biffo felt a big one coming as he filled his basket with delicious treats and when he came to his final stop the enemy was at the gates and he could hear their buglers. He decided to use the self checkout to get done as quickly as possible so he could do toilet and scanned through all his items then he thought he heard someone call his name and that was when it all went wrong. 

As he turned to see who had called him he felt something shift in his tummy tums and a 15cm long poo poo blasted out of his botty bot, through the back of his shorts and landed on top of the bag of shopping he'd just packed as if he'd sneaked a nutty Snickers into it as a treat.  As he turned to see this and groped to feel the ruined tatters of his shorts, he felt a flow of warm stinking horror seeping down each of his legs.

​Silence fell, and was suddenly broken when the self checkout said “Surprising item in bagging area”.  Then Mr Biffo woke up because it had all been a dream and hadn't pooed the bed or up the wall but he had done a poo in a carrier bag and thrown it out of the window at a passing vicar THE END


I think that it might be the second worst thing I've ever written but I will let the audience decide its fate, whether that be for it to be carried on their shoulders through the streets to cheers, or kicked to death in a back alley for being too ugly to live.

OK BYE HAVE A NICE WEEKEND
MrPSB
Everybody happy? I actually had to hassle him to write one this week.
NO LETTERS
​I was confused when there was no letters page today, then I realised that having no work tomorrow, because of the bank holiday and me taking extra days because I am lazy had thrown off my brain.

Anyway, with the recent release of Bayonetta on PC and today's release of Vanquish on Steam, do you think games deserve a second review based on how they were "meant" to be experienced? I love both games so for me it's like revisiting a game except how I actually remember it.

​Sort of like playing Manic Miner and the start screen having music played by an orchestra instead of an Amstrad Em@iler trying to phone a home that will never answer.

I think Resident Evil is the best example of how it should be done, but if the gameplay is the same is it just being brought up to date for modern audiences or a cynical cash-grab from drunken Sega employees shouting out orders from the capsule hotels where I assume they now have their offices?

Cheers,
NDrinks
I dunno, guy. Weren't the Special Editions of the Star Wars movies meant to be the version their creator wanted them to be all along? We all know how that turned out. Ultimately, like everything in life, it's down to an individual's enjoyment of a thing - be it new, old, or new-old. 
NO SWEAT
Robert Lindsay, Stuart Lindsay's father, here. What do you think of fidget spinners? My local carousel man, Keith Sweat, is selling them for £5 apiece. Reckon he's dodgy? 
Robert Lindsay
I've been told we do have a fidget spinner somewhere in the house, but I don't quite get the appeal. I get those fidget cube things, but the proper ones are, like, thirty quid or something. Why would I pay that when I can fiddle with my nips for nothing?!
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56 Comments
Paul
26/5/2017 10:43:35 am

MrPSB isn't my friend Richard by any chance?

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MrPSB
26/5/2017 10:58:48 am

Listen to this to find out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5owSDSyfRR0

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paul
26/5/2017 11:05:56 pm

Hmm. Probably not.

And then there was the time when Apple asked MrBiffo to be the voice of their digital assistant and mr biffo said "yes" so he spent ages making silly word noises (a bit like Kenneth Kendall did for the BBC computer) and Apple then put this on people’s watches and when they said things like "Hey Biffo what times is it" the watch would do processing things and would then release a liquid stream of poo down their arm and everyone said "that’s a bit shit" and went out and bought a casio from argos because it was better the end.

Nikki
26/5/2017 10:45:52 am

I heard that the effects for Found Footage were done on an Amiga.

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Mr Biffo
26/5/2017 10:47:49 am

BLOCKED.

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Chris
26/5/2017 02:43:10 pm

Incidentally, if you want CGI in Found Footage, maybe you should get an Amiga to do it?

DEAN
26/5/2017 10:48:22 am

Okay, you want to silence me and god knows I could ramble on in more depth.
In my defence, you invited unbridled speculation early on and I just took a while....

But yeah, aliens innit as is G.John.

---------------------------------------------

Name callin'? Deansmith? No doubt in reference to Dick Smith.

*PLOP*

^ sound of a gauntlet landing,

It's fucking on, garçon!

Reply
Glyn
26/5/2017 10:30:01 pm

Dean, bravin, there is a place for you and your theories. Join us on the Brannigan's Vortex Facebook group. I will happily theorise with you on Found Footage :)

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DEAN
27/5/2017 12:37:06 am

Thanks for the invite, Glyn. I'm sort of not really but am on Facebook - only there for business purposes but will definitely stop by!

DEAN
26/5/2017 11:03:49 am

Concerning Fidget Spinners.

Between my 2 kids we have about 6 fidget spinners and 2 cubes.
All of them are precisely shit because of these reasons:

1 - the bearings are not smooth enough.
2 - the cubes buttons et al are of a poor quality.
3 - when you twist and turn the spinner whilst it's 'in flight' it feels okay but not enough torque to really make you feel like you're 'cooking a hadouken'.

I'll tell you what was way way way cooler than this fidget stuff -
The Power Ball gyro thing. You could quite literally make them spin like 'fuck'.

One last thing - I have only ever (knowingly) been seduced by internet adverts the once. It for a Forever Spin spinning top.
I bought it because it looked like the one off Inception and because it was milled from a single billet of metal (your choice).
It was ultimately disappointing because you had to set up ideal surfaces to get the best out of it (fuck that) and the ones that spin the longest are the hardest to get going (bronze is a lot more trickier than titanium for example).

Power Balls are where the fuck it's at.

Oh and - Missed Her Biff Hole.

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Mr Biffo
26/5/2017 11:08:47 am

Let it go, Dicksmith.

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DEAN
26/5/2017 11:29:20 am

Yeah yeah yeah, you do this for a living etc...
Right now I feel like I'm taking on a tsunami with an umbrella!

But before things descend into biting let's shake hands and never mind you were very naughty for having started it, Misty Bumhole.

EvilKeg link
26/5/2017 11:15:42 am

In the olden days, we autistic types didn't have specific toys made for us. We had to make do with things like Bic 4 pens. I still use them now. If nothing else it makes me look productive.

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DEAN
26/5/2017 12:30:44 pm

I don't know much about autistic types but I know a lot about not being able to sit still!

Pissing about with something and daydreaming is what I do.
But for some cursed reason it MUST be something that has little or no real world benefit.

My favourite thing at school was a Rubik's Snake (No, our janitor wasn't called Rubik). You folded over the plastic squares to 'arrange' something.
Even the thought of trying to 'solve' it pissed me off but I loved the tactile quality of it and all the colours.

Biscuits
26/5/2017 01:01:32 pm

Here's why I think you are silly: I saw that ad for those spinning tops and they are about a hundred quid

Here's why I think you are smart: power balls are the 'tits', my friend gave me his old one and i'm hooked on it. I haven't noticed any additional muscles but it feels great

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DEAN
26/5/2017 01:33:02 pm

Power Balls are the top bollocks (tits)!

It's the sound too.... with all your might you want to drive the pitch up as high as you can. Awesome.

Paul
26/5/2017 03:01:19 pm

All the kids in Code Club (wot I help with at my wife's school) have them. I got them to stack the things and see if they can get each one to spin in a different direction. Cooperation and conversation broke out.

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Paulvw
26/5/2017 11:08:25 am

Love the Dalek photo.

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Paul
26/5/2017 02:58:54 pm

Thank you. Sadly it is no longer ambulatory. The Trolley has been returned to Morrisons, with the rest just tipped out.

https://instagram.com/p/BUjUtvnhJZ7/

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James Downing's Headmaster
26/5/2017 11:21:54 am

So your secret is out! I knew you'd slip up eventually, boy! Report to my office immediately, you terrible miscreant!

You will write 200 lines of "I will not do art on school facilities". Then to emphasise how little value my approach to discipline has, I will then tear it up in front of you.

Harrumph!

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Treacle
26/5/2017 12:04:17 pm

Mr PSB that is quite the turn of phrase, "multiple egregious violations" and "warm stinking horror" deserve widespread popular usage. More power to your quill good Sir.

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Bingo Rose
26/5/2017 12:28:51 pm

I concur. Orlando is the greatest place on earth. Even a somewhat cultural snob like me says so.

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DEAN
26/5/2017 12:49:07 pm

Nah.
California has a better (sympathetic) climate and Universal Studios Hollywood is considerably better (if you do the VIP tour).
Plus you have a greater variety of things to do. Don't get me wrong, I love Orlando and for value for money (parks aside) it's hard to beat but next time I cross the pond I'm going to Cali-Forn-I-A.

We were in Orlando earlier this year and ate at the Planet Hollywood at Disney Springs - Holy fucking shit! Forget what you think about PH - this is it done right. Need to book, though.

Whilst I'm talking about food - what the fuck is the deal with Rainforest Cafe? Everything about it is shit but for some reason my kids always drag me into one. Just awful.

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Mr Biffo
26/5/2017 12:59:26 pm

Hey! I won't have that said about Orlando. Also... Universal Hollywood has the tram ride, which is great, but the park itself isn't a patch on Orlando's one. It's waaaay too cramped.

DEAN
26/5/2017 01:05:47 pm

Just to mention exchange rates - The USA is gonna feel mighty pricey just now. Good travel deals and that probably but once you're there your pants are coming down.

Bingo Rose
26/5/2017 01:09:49 pm

But Orlando also has the Orlando Magic. Which is even better than Hogwarts magic! NBA gets me all giddy.

BTW Biffo - try Jetsave for a cheap-ish Orlando holiday! I went just last month (3rd time!) via them... Me, my wife and a toddler (our toddler I should clarify) flew with Virgin and stayed in a hotel on International Drive for 2 weeks - walking distance from Universal Studios - and we paid a smidge over 2 grand. Literally a smidge. I think it was like £2008.

Of course all park tickets were extra on top of that. But there's always deals to be found for them too. Try looking in rock pools and stuff.

Mr Biffo
26/5/2017 01:29:38 pm

Ooh, cheers, Bingo. I'll check there now. Will likely end up having to do it last minute, if I do go. Frustratingly, I don't get properly paid for current jobs until early summer.

Nick
26/5/2017 01:48:14 pm

Just choose your favourite children.

Bingo Rose
26/5/2017 02:31:50 pm

Don't be put off by their shoddy looking website. They're as legit as lightspeed.

Bingo Rose
26/5/2017 02:45:06 pm

@DEAN - Yeah, maaaaan... the exchange rate is pretty rank at the mo. I was in Florida in 2013 and £1 was equivalent to about $1.80, whereas last month £1 equated to about $1.20. Big difference when you've changing up huge wads of cash.

But a lot of stuff is still crazy cheap - "all you can ingest" buffets for around $6 are aplenty. And you can walk into Burger King and get 2 x cheeseburgers, fries and a bottomless Coke for $2.29. There's a good reason why it's known at the United Fatties of America.

Plus, if you've heard of jeans, Levis are super cheap too. And other American stuff... Like sneakers and guns.

Picston Shottle
26/5/2017 04:51:30 pm

Orlando is humid as fuck, and has mosquitoes. My brother-in-law lived in Orlando up until last week when he moved back to Miami, and even having free accommodation wasn't reason enough to visit.

Cali has Knottsberry Farm and Disney within, like, 5 miles of each other, and Universal is only another 20 odd miles up the road. Drive another hour north and you've got Six Flags, too. And, ya know, culture, if you're that way inclined; no matter what way you try to dress it up, central Florida is a culture free zone.

Mr Biffo
26/5/2017 06:07:20 pm

But... but... culture be damned, LA is a horrible sprawling mess of a place...

DEAN
26/5/2017 06:08:09 pm

Bingo - Yep, we found it made a big difference to us and we were only there for a week (half term). But I'm sure you're right - if you know what you're doing you can save a bob or two.
The manager of Virgin Holidays where I live told me the absolute best time to go to Orlando is in November - it's quietest then (I had this confirmed by a woman from New Yoik who was working in Orlando.) The same manager also advised me to try and get residents tickets... he said tell them you're just completing the sale or some such bollocks and see if they like your accent enough to look past the obvious bullshit. I never tried.

Picston - Even if LA does stink of piss! But yeah, Florida humidity is a killer and if you rent a house some owners limit the extent that you can ram the AC down... and they charge extra to heat the pool... sneaky fucks.

I think the big downer with LA is that it costs a fair whack more and you're pretty fucked if you don't want to hire a car.
Even so, Florida in August.... Very humid and very busy.
But you already know this... Whatever you decide I'm sure you'll have a great time!

Picston Shottle
26/5/2017 06:34:57 pm

Yeah, yeah - LA does kind of stink of piss, and it's an arse ache trying to get anywhere, so that is why I live in Orange County! Better beaches. Better traffic (relatively speaking). But it's still close enough to LA to go do the cultural stuff; there's always something good going on, be it a show, or exhibition, or whatever - kinda like London, but with good weather.

Florida in November is the perfect time to visit. My missus is from Miami, and the in-laws still live there, so that's where we do Thanksgiving. The cloying, summer humidity has dissipated, the mozzies have fucked off (mostly), and the temperature is still in the mid 70's to 80's, which is still good enough for sitting around the pool, or going to the beach, and getting burnt to a crisp.

DEAN
26/5/2017 06:55:12 pm

Cheers, Picston - That confirms it then - next time I go to Florida (Star Wars Land and Nintendoland probably) it'll be November!

Here's a thought, Biffo, I've done a bit of looking around and it seems as though things quieten down in the 2nd half of August when some of the American kids go back to school. If it's got to be Florida in August then that might help take the edge off things... perhaps improve hotel availability and prices a smidge too.

Mr Biffo
26/5/2017 07:30:08 pm

Dean - yes, always go in the last two weeks. Slightly cheaper, slightly cooler, and the crowds are lighter.

I've not been in a long time, but I used to be a Florida maestro.

Mozzies? Humidity? Man-up, you lot!

DEAN
26/5/2017 07:51:56 pm

I feel like an idiot now...
Hope you get a nice bargain, man!

I'm off to Majorca with my wife, kids and my brother and his family around that time. Love Spain, and my brother and I are looking forward to visiting locations from The Night Manager.

FEoD link
27/5/2017 07:49:54 pm

Paid at the end of summer? I've got four words for you Biffo:
"Halloween..."
"Horror..."
"Nights."
...
Erm...
"cockney..."

Mr Biffo
29/5/2017 06:13:35 am

But... I have to take the kids, which means school holidays. which means the only one around Halloween Horror Nights is half-term... and a week isn't long enough.

Also, I'm not a Cockney.

Jol
26/5/2017 01:52:01 pm

Gosh, I feel so quaint offering up some video game chat amongst all the off topic japery everyone else is indulging in, but hey ho:

Seam's experience sounds very similar to mine. Spent a few hours on ME Andromeda and ditched it for Neir.

Andromeda is just so damn boring, especially the combat. The mixture of movement and gunplay you get in the likes of Doom and Destiny are so liberating that Andromeda's subpar cover shooter tedium feels like a massive step backwards. And then there's the menus. Jesus. It's hard to think of a game (not made by Paradox) with such a steep learning curve for a fucking GUI. Not to mention not being able to equip new weapons without returning to a hub to change your loadout.

Neir on the other hand is just fun, with lots of big robots to smash up and a lovely soundtrack playing underneath. It probably has one of the best demos in a long time too. The way it constantly switches gaming genres while keeping the pace up for the full 20-30 minutes is impressive.

The full game punting you back to the title screen if you die in the first mission (which is basically the demo) is a dick move mind you.

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Nick
26/5/2017 02:08:03 pm

It has a couple of those moves through the game.

I'm just finishing my second play-through and it is bloody brilliant. The soundtrack is lovely and has some surprising witty changes in it.

And Mr Biffo up there is wrong about Yakuza 0, just wrong, dead wrong, never been wronger. I still would have been nice though, yer know, just sayin... Sniff...

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Biscuits
26/5/2017 02:33:41 pm

NieR:A is so good! I've played 4 games in a row I consider worthy of an A grade over the past few months, but I think NieR:A gets the top spot. I can't stop thinking about it, it's so strange and resonant. I bought the DLC, and I'm using it as an excuse to replay the whole thing; I haven't replayed a game for the hell of it in about a decade. Whereabouts are you in-game?

Reply
Jol
26/5/2017 03:16:35 pm

I think I've got about 10hrs on the clock in my first play through, although I'm not sure what sort of progress I've made, but I've only had it a week. I've been to that robot village place and recovered the body of one of the YorHa peeps that was carrying a spear. I've also beaten that weird sensei guy at black belt.

From what I can gather people seem to be playing through it multiple times due to there being loads of different endings. That does sound like a bit of a slog, even with a New Game+ option - I'm guessing something must change after each ending?

One thing that stands out as sort of... refreshing? (not sure if that's the word) is that whenever anyone gives you a boring resource gathering fetch quest it usually only takes about 30 seconds to sprint to wherever you need to go. It is a bit jarring that they are dealing in super advanced robot technology and half the time they literally ask you to bring them a single rusty nail and a bucket of paint.

Nick
26/5/2017 03:56:59 pm

So far it's more of a Continuation+ then New Game+. You play through as 9S and whilst the action set pieces play out the same (so far) the story is told differently. The side quests you have completed don't reset so you don't have to go through all those again and some new ones unlock.

Biscuits
26/5/2017 04:13:07 pm

Yeah, wait until you upgrade your POD for arbitrary materials. 'Fresh water' and 'mushroom' should not be needed for that

Indeed, the idea of the game is you play through it at least 3 times. Route B you will be playing the same scenario, but as 9S, using his hacking fight style and diverging as he did in route A. Route C may as well be a completely different game. It all works really well

deKay link
26/5/2017 03:22:08 pm

Good lord. If it wasn't for the fact this week was blatant barrel scraping, I'd consider myself slightly famous.

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MrPSB
26/5/2017 04:16:01 pm

Every week is blatant barrel scraping on the Digitiser2000 letters page.

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DEAN
26/5/2017 05:23:33 pm

If it was any other way it'd be terribly boring!

MrPSB
26/5/2017 08:12:06 pm

Of course. If it wasn't for this page I'd have no outlet for my faecal musings.

Rik link
26/5/2017 04:52:09 pm

John Whyte: I played the DOS version of European Champions relatively recently and thought it stood up pretty well, especially compared to FIFA.

It seemed very similar to Emlyn Hughes International Soccer but with the option of a top down view. Never played the Amiga version but no doubt it looked and sounded a lot better.

Reply
shitingale
26/5/2017 07:11:32 pm

The licence fee reveal caught me completely off-guard, years to build but what a pay off!

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John
20/6/2017 04:36:43 pm

My thoughts exactly!

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Kingsturg
27/5/2017 12:10:47 pm

The update nobody asked for:

I'm back to having broadband now.

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DEAN
27/5/2017 01:20:04 pm

Feels better than good news from the doctor, I bet!

Did you spend crazy on your mobile in the interim?

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Kingsturg
27/5/2017 04:42:47 pm

The kicker was that I usually have a load of mobile data left at the end of the month but I'd been using it up cos the broadband was being flaky running up to me switching provider.

Sounds like a conspiracy cries no one!

Arsenal Fan TV
30/5/2017 08:06:14 am

Wenger In?

Reply



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