Sadly (for you) tickets to Block Party 2016: The Teletext and Digitiser Festival are now sold out. We may get returns - so drop us an email if you'd like to be added to the list. We'll hopefully be filming the event, so those who aren't able to be there will get the chance to see what the fuss is all about.
And now? And now come de letters.
If you would like to be immortalised on this page, all you must do is send your questions, comments and "that" to here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
And now? And now come de letters.
If you would like to be immortalised on this page, all you must do is send your questions, comments and "that" to here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
RADIOHEAD
Dear Mr. Biffo,
Hope your eye is better now. Here is a picture of you in a cage on antibiotics.
Love,
David Walford
Yeah yeah, thanks, Albert Square. That's really kind of you, No really. Thanks, yeah?
RADIOBREAD
With all this talk of No Man's Sky and the hype and disappointment.. .there is one question you haven't answered.
Elite Dangerous or No Man's Sky: which one is the better experience? Also will you be opening more otter lick caves?
William Trelane the Humble Baron
With all this talk of No Man's Sky and the hype and disappointment.. .there is one question you haven't answered.
Elite Dangerous or No Man's Sky: which one is the better experience? Also will you be opening more otter lick caves?
William Trelane the Humble Baron
Elite - Dangerous or otherwise - has never been my bag. That's why I like NMS: it feels like an Elite that I can actually play. Albeit not with other people, apparently, and because they took out all the more complex stuff. Also, there is only one Otter Lick Cave in all of creation... AND YOU'RE BARRED.
BRADY O'HEAD
I've noticed that the backdrop of your site is not quite black and it contains some sort of pixelated, mystical image. What is this image?
Of course, I am expecting some sort of surreal, reveal-o whimiscal response, perhaps a shitting baby/dog/focks/swan, but maybe I can bluff you into some sort of honest response, but maybe I can't. Who knows? Also, why do I care enough to bother writing this "letter"? Am I that sad?
Scott C
I've noticed that the backdrop of your site is not quite black and it contains some sort of pixelated, mystical image. What is this image?
Of course, I am expecting some sort of surreal, reveal-o whimiscal response, perhaps a shitting baby/dog/focks/swan, but maybe I can bluff you into some sort of honest response, but maybe I can't. Who knows? Also, why do I care enough to bother writing this "letter"? Am I that sad?
Scott C
You're right. You are sad, and our backdrop isn't full black. Press reveal to see the mystery image in sharper detail.
REVEAL:
HEAD-O-MATIC
I suppose you think you're pretty clever for creating some teletext art. Well let me burst that bubble for you: it's so easy even an idiot could do it.
MATIC ATTACK
I'm afraid I'm writing to complain. As a frequent user of Facebook and Twitter I've become accustomed to terrible grammar, spelling (which is strange given that every device comes with a spellchecking ability) and unnecessarily abbreviated text which was born out of an era whereby text messages were 10p a pop.
With all that in mind how DARE YOU run a site containing articles which fail to contain grammatical disasters, spelling atrocities or 1000 word paragraphs.
15 years shaking off everything I learnt in GCSE English will have been a total waste of time if you're going to start filling the web with logically constructed and well presented prose. F@ck you.
Dan
I'm afraid I'm writing to complain. As a frequent user of Facebook and Twitter I've become accustomed to terrible grammar, spelling (which is strange given that every device comes with a spellchecking ability) and unnecessarily abbreviated text which was born out of an era whereby text messages were 10p a pop.
With all that in mind how DARE YOU run a site containing articles which fail to contain grammatical disasters, spelling atrocities or 1000 word paragraphs.
15 years shaking off everything I learnt in GCSE English will have been a total waste of time if you're going to start filling the web with logically constructed and well presented prose. F@ck you.
Dan
Is this meant to be sarcastic? Digitiser is regularly riddled with typos. I read most of my articles twice after writing, and then my other half reads it twice... and still our readers Mr PSB or John Veness contact us to say we've missed some.
A TAXI
Your recent piece discussing how much one should play a game prior to making a decision about liking it got me thinking a bit.
One of my bugbears about the recent “British Exit” debate was the oft-repeated saw that Joe Public didn’t have enough “facts” to decide which way to vote.
This painted the picture of the elector with the “tabula rasa” mind - after being fed all the facts (like inputting data into a computer), they would dispassionately tally the data presented by both sides and logically come to a conclusion and vote appropriately.
Whilst this may hold true for a minority, most people would have voted based on their “gut” - heart before head, or whatever you call it. My white working class provincial Daily Mail reading dad (not a xenophobic or racist cell in his body, but takes the Dacre press at face value) was going to vote Leave even if Cameron promised a gold ingot for every Remain voter - because in his heart he believed that voting out was the right thing to do.
Equally, there are no prizes for guessing which way my diverse west London media friends voted - again you could toss facts at them all day and all night and they weren’t going to shift. The vast majority of people have a self-defined image (as a proud patriot, or an open-minded liberal, or whatever) and will act to confirm this self-image regardless of the objective “cold hard facts”.
It's the same with video games. Most people know, within seconds of picking up a controller, whether they like the game or not. The “ethics of games journalism” people may think you need to play for 12 hours and assign scores for graphics, sounds etc and summate them to form a numeric objective assessment - this is wrong and just not how the human mind works.
I mean, that tabula rasa stuff is about 500 years old. Concepts of epistemology and the philosophy/psychology of science and critical thought have moved on greatly since then.
I knew within 10 seconds of clapping eyes on a Street Fighter II cabinet that is was going to be one of my favourite games ever. I didn’t need to play every character or every mode to know that.
Also do you remember 80s/90s game mag ACE? They used to award game scores out of 1000 instead of the standard percentage. I liked the way they thought this could differentiate games in more granular way.
“Hang on you gave Kick Off 2 and F19 Stealth Fighter both 93%?!?! How are our readers meant to know which is the better game?!? We gave them 934 and 936 respectively."
Chomboss Wankuss
Your recent piece discussing how much one should play a game prior to making a decision about liking it got me thinking a bit.
One of my bugbears about the recent “British Exit” debate was the oft-repeated saw that Joe Public didn’t have enough “facts” to decide which way to vote.
This painted the picture of the elector with the “tabula rasa” mind - after being fed all the facts (like inputting data into a computer), they would dispassionately tally the data presented by both sides and logically come to a conclusion and vote appropriately.
Whilst this may hold true for a minority, most people would have voted based on their “gut” - heart before head, or whatever you call it. My white working class provincial Daily Mail reading dad (not a xenophobic or racist cell in his body, but takes the Dacre press at face value) was going to vote Leave even if Cameron promised a gold ingot for every Remain voter - because in his heart he believed that voting out was the right thing to do.
Equally, there are no prizes for guessing which way my diverse west London media friends voted - again you could toss facts at them all day and all night and they weren’t going to shift. The vast majority of people have a self-defined image (as a proud patriot, or an open-minded liberal, or whatever) and will act to confirm this self-image regardless of the objective “cold hard facts”.
It's the same with video games. Most people know, within seconds of picking up a controller, whether they like the game or not. The “ethics of games journalism” people may think you need to play for 12 hours and assign scores for graphics, sounds etc and summate them to form a numeric objective assessment - this is wrong and just not how the human mind works.
I mean, that tabula rasa stuff is about 500 years old. Concepts of epistemology and the philosophy/psychology of science and critical thought have moved on greatly since then.
I knew within 10 seconds of clapping eyes on a Street Fighter II cabinet that is was going to be one of my favourite games ever. I didn’t need to play every character or every mode to know that.
Also do you remember 80s/90s game mag ACE? They used to award game scores out of 1000 instead of the standard percentage. I liked the way they thought this could differentiate games in more granular way.
“Hang on you gave Kick Off 2 and F19 Stealth Fighter both 93%?!?! How are our readers meant to know which is the better game?!? We gave them 934 and 936 respectively."
Chomboss Wankuss
Well... that was a big old letter.
AXIOM
Has reading the reviews for anything you've created (e.g. Pudsey the Movie) had any effect on your approach to reviewing games?
Dex
Has reading the reviews for anything you've created (e.g. Pudsey the Movie) had any effect on your approach to reviewing games?
Dex
In short: no. I've not had that many reviews - the joy of writing in kids TV is that I get to stay beneath the radar. It's part of why I retreated there after my Internet "troubles" some years ago. I mean, being on the receiving end of the Pudsey battering didn't really bother me. The sheer level of vitriol made it funny, more than anything. If you put stuff out there, you've got to expect that not everyone is going to like it. So long as the criticism doesn't get personal...
OM OM OM
MY FRIEND SAMMY LIKED HER PICTURE OF A BEE LAST WEEK MATE THANKS A LOT MR BIFFO.
BUT SHE TOLD ME TO STOP TROLLING HER. I AM NOT TROLLING HER I AM BEING THE BEST FRIEND A VEGAN COULD WANT. I HAVE WROTE HER A POEM:
SAMMY YOU ARE A WHAMMY
YOU HAVE A *****
PROBABLY
YEAH YEAH YEAH
BEE MOVIE IS A GOOD FILM
IF YOU COULD PRINT THAT SHE WOULD LOVE IT, MATE.
Alistair Foster
MY FRIEND SAMMY LIKED HER PICTURE OF A BEE LAST WEEK MATE THANKS A LOT MR BIFFO.
BUT SHE TOLD ME TO STOP TROLLING HER. I AM NOT TROLLING HER I AM BEING THE BEST FRIEND A VEGAN COULD WANT. I HAVE WROTE HER A POEM:
SAMMY YOU ARE A WHAMMY
YOU HAVE A *****
PROBABLY
YEAH YEAH YEAH
BEE MOVIE IS A GOOD FILM
IF YOU COULD PRINT THAT SHE WOULD LOVE IT, MATE.
Alistair Foster
Alright. Enough hating on Samuel. I even censored your letter this time, Carlsberg.
OM BONGO
Ages ago, I remember having a dream about being a Xenomorph and sneaking up on my school PE teacher after playing Aliens Versus Predator earlier that night. Have you had dreams about being in games that you can recall?
Stuart Lindsay
Ages ago, I remember having a dream about being a Xenomorph and sneaking up on my school PE teacher after playing Aliens Versus Predator earlier that night. Have you had dreams about being in games that you can recall?
Stuart Lindsay
Yeah, one very vivid nightmare many years ago about Castle Master, of all things. I've also had several dreams about Aliens. And one about your father - Robert Lindsay.
BUM ONGO
Do you have any thoughts on the Skool Daze remake? Which gameworld do you most miss, or would most like to return to? What was your favourite acting performance in a computer game?
John Whyte
Do you have any thoughts on the Skool Daze remake? Which gameworld do you most miss, or would most like to return to? What was your favourite acting performance in a computer game?
John Whyte
I can't say I'm hugely familiar with the Skool Daze remake, but the other day I saw some footage of what I assume it to be. Nice and all that, but I do prefer the old style visuals. Now I get why everyone wants me to stay in the past with the teletext graphics on here. Press reveal for some more of them.
REVEAL:
THEY DRINK IT IN THE DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF THE CONGO
Hypothetical: what if during the 16 Bit era, add-ons had actually caught on and Sega led the market with the Mega Drive, Mega CD, 32X, what else could they have bolted on to it and what would they be called?
Glyn Heaviside
Hypothetical: what if during the 16 Bit era, add-ons had actually caught on and Sega led the market with the Mega Drive, Mega CD, 32X, what else could they have bolted on to it and what would they be called?
Glyn Heaviside
Even as a hypothetical, it's impossible to imagine. The catastrophic spiral of self-destruction Sega was on back them blots out any opportunity to speculate on what they might've done. But I suppose they could've released a sort of special umbrella called a Clackston.
MR T'S PROBLEM PAGE
Dear Mr T,
I wonder if you could help me. My brother-in-law insists that aubergines and avocados are the same thing, but I insist they're not. Is there an easy way to clear this up?
Hermes Pulpit
I'm afraid there's no quick and easy solution to this one, Mr Pulpit. It's a common mistake to make. Just be glad that you don't have to keep a constant vigil on your bins like some of us. Speaking of which, if I EVER see you CONSTRUCTING a giant CENTRIFUGE around my BINS, and spinning them AT a high VELOCITY I will not BE responsible for the judgement I MAKE.
Dear Mr T,
I wonder if you could help me. My brother-in-law insists that aubergines and avocados are the same thing, but I insist they're not. Is there an easy way to clear this up?
Hermes Pulpit
I'm afraid there's no quick and easy solution to this one, Mr Pulpit. It's a common mistake to make. Just be glad that you don't have to keep a constant vigil on your bins like some of us. Speaking of which, if I EVER see you CONSTRUCTING a giant CENTRIFUGE around my BINS, and spinning them AT a high VELOCITY I will not BE responsible for the judgement I MAKE.
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