Hello everyone! Snow! Snurrrrrrr. Snuh-snuh... snuh! So, this week the Sexy Christmas USA vinyl singles went on sale, and sold out in a matter of days. Huge thanks to my friend Jon, who paid for them, and doesn't even want paying back - so that all the money raised can go to Cancer Research UK.
By the time I've also gathered the money we made from Amazon and iTunes sales (I still don't know the Amazon figures), I estimate that this ridiculous song will have made around £500 for charity. Which is rather lovely.
Talking of raising money for good causes - don't forget that if you like Digitiser2000, and the things I do, you can support me via PayPal and Patreon. We're getting around 10,000+ unique hits a week these days - which is great - but hits doesn't automatically equate to income, sadly. Crowdfunding is an absolutely vital part of keeping this site going, and ensuring I can give it the time it deserves. I wouldn't have been able to afford to pre-order a Nintendo Switch without it - and I don't even want one...!
If you would like to appear on next week's page, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone - please send your emails for next week to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
By the time I've also gathered the money we made from Amazon and iTunes sales (I still don't know the Amazon figures), I estimate that this ridiculous song will have made around £500 for charity. Which is rather lovely.
Talking of raising money for good causes - don't forget that if you like Digitiser2000, and the things I do, you can support me via PayPal and Patreon. We're getting around 10,000+ unique hits a week these days - which is great - but hits doesn't automatically equate to income, sadly. Crowdfunding is an absolutely vital part of keeping this site going, and ensuring I can give it the time it deserves. I wouldn't have been able to afford to pre-order a Nintendo Switch without it - and I don't even want one...!
If you would like to appear on next week's page, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone - please send your emails for next week to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
LOST N' FOUND
I read your exec producer message! I know from acting how hard it can be to judge a performance when you’re part of it, so if you want someone to have a look what you’ve done I’d be happy to do that.
I can be as critical as possible as I know that’s the best way to improve something. If I can contribute something more to Found Footage I will do my best! So in short, feel free to ask for feedback or whatever else!
While I’m writing I want to mention that I loved the Christmas special, especially Goujon John. You’ll need to be careful not to overdo it with him! Right now though it’s still brilliant.
Also, I already gave a response on Kickstarter regarding the launch schedule etc., but I didn’t comment on the launch party. I almost certainly won’t be able to come :(
This is mainly because I live in Colorado and I already have a few travel plans for next year, meaning that fitting in a trip to the UK will be difficult. I would absolutely love to come and meet you, and if I can find a way I’ll be there. If not then we can do a competition to give away my tickets!
How is Found Footage progressing now? I have been reading Digi2000 and I know all about your health and other issues, and I’m glad you seem to have got over it. To cheer you up I made you an animated GIF (attached).
Keep up the good work, I love what you do!
John Peacock
I read your exec producer message! I know from acting how hard it can be to judge a performance when you’re part of it, so if you want someone to have a look what you’ve done I’d be happy to do that.
I can be as critical as possible as I know that’s the best way to improve something. If I can contribute something more to Found Footage I will do my best! So in short, feel free to ask for feedback or whatever else!
While I’m writing I want to mention that I loved the Christmas special, especially Goujon John. You’ll need to be careful not to overdo it with him! Right now though it’s still brilliant.
Also, I already gave a response on Kickstarter regarding the launch schedule etc., but I didn’t comment on the launch party. I almost certainly won’t be able to come :(
This is mainly because I live in Colorado and I already have a few travel plans for next year, meaning that fitting in a trip to the UK will be difficult. I would absolutely love to come and meet you, and if I can find a way I’ll be there. If not then we can do a competition to give away my tickets!
How is Found Footage progressing now? I have been reading Digi2000 and I know all about your health and other issues, and I’m glad you seem to have got over it. To cheer you up I made you an animated GIF (attached).
Keep up the good work, I love what you do!
John Peacock
Thanks for the nice words and the gif(t), John. For some reason, Weebly - the thing I use for this site - doesn't want to make it animated. I don't know why. Hopefully everyone can just imagine Thomas doing his funny roaming.
Sorry you won't make the launch party. Colorado to London is a long way. And I should know - I just looked it up on a map!
I had some good Found Footage feedback already from some of the exec producers... though I accept it's kind of weird seeing stuff that's unfinished. I remember when I first started getting rough edits of things I'd written, and it's like judging a painting by peering at one part of it through a toilet roll tube. Without knowing that it's all going to come together, you immediately assume it's all going to be a disaster.
That can backfire sometimes though. The rough edit I saw of Pudsey the Dog: The Movie was pretty ropey, but I assumed it'd all come together. Turned out the rough edit was more or less the same as the finished one.
In the case of the Found Footage footage I've already given access to, some of it was just the sound, most of it lacked additional live action footage, some of it lacked context. Only one of the clips was anywhere near completion, and that was the one every single person picked out as a highlight. Which might be telling.
So... I've gone a little shy now of showing too much before it's done, but there'll still be plenty of bonus stuff coming for backers between now and the series' debut. As soon as I get five minutes, I will record a commentary track on the pilot and Christmas special.
But! It's going okay. Being ill in December didn't help, and I've started January with a ton of other jobs I need to get out of the way, but I'm ramping up work on it again.
I've got a rough edit of Episode 1 done already, though there's still some stuff to shoot for it, some voice-overs to add, and some music to finish. There's more animation in there than I'd expected, after I discovered how much I enjoyed doing it (an iPad Pro was one of the best investments I made with the Kickstarter money). But I'm very pleased with what I've got so far. I even animated a Knife & Wife cartoon I drew when I was 17, just for shits and giggles.
Given the budget, I think it's incredibly ambitious, but in the right way. Hopefully it'll be funny too.
Sorry you won't make the launch party. Colorado to London is a long way. And I should know - I just looked it up on a map!
I had some good Found Footage feedback already from some of the exec producers... though I accept it's kind of weird seeing stuff that's unfinished. I remember when I first started getting rough edits of things I'd written, and it's like judging a painting by peering at one part of it through a toilet roll tube. Without knowing that it's all going to come together, you immediately assume it's all going to be a disaster.
That can backfire sometimes though. The rough edit I saw of Pudsey the Dog: The Movie was pretty ropey, but I assumed it'd all come together. Turned out the rough edit was more or less the same as the finished one.
In the case of the Found Footage footage I've already given access to, some of it was just the sound, most of it lacked additional live action footage, some of it lacked context. Only one of the clips was anywhere near completion, and that was the one every single person picked out as a highlight. Which might be telling.
So... I've gone a little shy now of showing too much before it's done, but there'll still be plenty of bonus stuff coming for backers between now and the series' debut. As soon as I get five minutes, I will record a commentary track on the pilot and Christmas special.
But! It's going okay. Being ill in December didn't help, and I've started January with a ton of other jobs I need to get out of the way, but I'm ramping up work on it again.
I've got a rough edit of Episode 1 done already, though there's still some stuff to shoot for it, some voice-overs to add, and some music to finish. There's more animation in there than I'd expected, after I discovered how much I enjoyed doing it (an iPad Pro was one of the best investments I made with the Kickstarter money). But I'm very pleased with what I've got so far. I even animated a Knife & Wife cartoon I drew when I was 17, just for shits and giggles.
Given the budget, I think it's incredibly ambitious, but in the right way. Hopefully it'll be funny too.
SUCKS
I would like to understand your position on chupacabras. A goat-sucking menace, or a species that can co-exist peacefully alongside humanity? Thanks!
Adam
I would like to understand your position on chupacabras. A goat-sucking menace, or a species that can co-exist peacefully alongside humanity? Thanks!
Adam
My position is one of whimsy. Please press reveal for a real funny chupacabra joke.
REVEAL:
ALPHA MALE
I'm so sick of working within the confines of our 26-letter alphabet that I've invented a 27th. It's called "Nnnng" and is pronounced in a similar way. I hope you enjoy and find it useful.
Lord Arse!
I'm so sick of working within the confines of our 26-letter alphabet that I've invented a 27th. It's called "Nnnng" and is pronounced in a similar way. I hope you enjoy and find it useful.
Lord Arse!
I didn't enjoy it, and I don't find it useful.
BAD LANGUAGE
You know what I miss? Bad language translations in games. Now they all have internationalisation teams and stuff meaning that the days of "all your base" and "enter the unwant, mr, and touch my space" are gone.
Though this may all tie in with my theory that most mainstream games are actually very boring these days, like if all films were Marvel films... but also the same Marvel film - specifically the second Thor one. What do you think?
Mike C
You know what I miss? Bad language translations in games. Now they all have internationalisation teams and stuff meaning that the days of "all your base" and "enter the unwant, mr, and touch my space" are gone.
Though this may all tie in with my theory that most mainstream games are actually very boring these days, like if all films were Marvel films... but also the same Marvel film - specifically the second Thor one. What do you think?
Mike C
Yes, there's some of the charm missing these days. That said, I may be alone in having enjoyed the second Thor film. I mean... y'know... it was basically Portal with Norse gods. C'mon!
VIBRATOR
Dear Mr Bristol.
Do you have the vibration on or off on a controller? I used to love the tactile sensation of feeling the thudding along with in-game action. Nowadays I find it makes my old fingers hurt, and interferes with my playing. Like a tiny horse is trying to rapidly hump my thumb.
Dr Micky Slash
Dear Mr Bristol.
Do you have the vibration on or off on a controller? I used to love the tactile sensation of feeling the thudding along with in-game action. Nowadays I find it makes my old fingers hurt, and interferes with my playing. Like a tiny horse is trying to rapidly hump my thumb.
Dr Micky Slash
I have the rumble on. I barely even notice it. But that's because I'm dead inside. Now press reveal to see a different sort of "rumble".
REVEAL:
HE IS RISEN
What games would you say set standards for graphics in particular hardware generations? For me, despite the poor quality of the game, I remember struggling to believe that the graphics in Rise of the Robots were genuine; Ridge Racer would be another example.
John Whyte
What games would you say set standards for graphics in particular hardware generations? For me, despite the poor quality of the game, I remember struggling to believe that the graphics in Rise of the Robots were genuine; Ridge Racer would be another example.
John Whyte
Really? You liked those Rise of the Robots graphics? But we were sold a lie! See also: Killer Instinct and Cruisin' USA. Though speaking of Nintendo, one obvious example is Super Mario 64 - which used its graphics to offer a completely new type of gameplay. Also, the original Tomb Raider.
N-DOG
You mentioned in your games can be addictive piece that you hope games will follow Naughty Dog's example, and make us feel an emotional connection. I realised that is why the Naughty Dog games are the only games I look forward to anymore; I care about the characters in those games.
I really struggle to play games from start to finish anymore except for those. Are there any similar games out there at the moment?
Niall Maguire
You mentioned in your games can be addictive piece that you hope games will follow Naughty Dog's example, and make us feel an emotional connection. I realised that is why the Naughty Dog games are the only games I look forward to anymore; I care about the characters in those games.
I really struggle to play games from start to finish anymore except for those. Are there any similar games out there at the moment?
Niall Maguire
Well, Titanfall 2 - which, yes, I know I keep banging on about it - managed a decent job with its story, and the central relationship between the two principal characters. The new Tomb Raider games desperately want you to care, but they're sort of a bit soulless and cold, I find, and - despite being influenced by them - fail to grasp what makes Uncharted so good.
There are definitely smaller games which do a good job. Some of Telltale's adventures are pretty good, though - sorry - I do find the animation style a bit off-putting.
There are definitely smaller games which do a good job. Some of Telltale's adventures are pretty good, though - sorry - I do find the animation style a bit off-putting.
DIY ADVENTURES
Given your recently exposed affection for the Fighting Fantasy classics, even if you didn't mention the cover for Daggers of Darkness despite it featuring A MAN WITH AN EAGLE AND A COOL EYEPATCH RIDING ON TWO TIGERS AT ONCE, I wished to enquire: have you ever written, or would you ever attempt to write, anything in the gamebook style yourself?
Come on, we've all tried it. I started one a couple of years ago called The Fat Monkey Armies of Belinda Carlisle, but stopped when I thought I might be having a breakdown. Right now though, if you take off the balaclava and turn down the raggacore jungle soundscape that I always imagine you working to, you'll hear the baying of the masses for an official Digi2000 Choose Your Own Verdict of Misadventure.
Nothing too labour-intensive, just a 400-paragraph solo campaign detailing The Man's Daddy and his Quest for Comedy, or Chart Cat and his Quest for Co- for Corn Flakes.
We, your loving concubines, appreciate your compliance in this matter.
Leigh L.
Given your recently exposed affection for the Fighting Fantasy classics, even if you didn't mention the cover for Daggers of Darkness despite it featuring A MAN WITH AN EAGLE AND A COOL EYEPATCH RIDING ON TWO TIGERS AT ONCE, I wished to enquire: have you ever written, or would you ever attempt to write, anything in the gamebook style yourself?
Come on, we've all tried it. I started one a couple of years ago called The Fat Monkey Armies of Belinda Carlisle, but stopped when I thought I might be having a breakdown. Right now though, if you take off the balaclava and turn down the raggacore jungle soundscape that I always imagine you working to, you'll hear the baying of the masses for an official Digi2000 Choose Your Own Verdict of Misadventure.
Nothing too labour-intensive, just a 400-paragraph solo campaign detailing The Man's Daddy and his Quest for Comedy, or Chart Cat and his Quest for Co- for Corn Flakes.
We, your loving concubines, appreciate your compliance in this matter.
Leigh L.
Well... I had this idea a couple of years ago to do choose-your-own-adventures on here. I wrote a silly choose-your-own Star Wars adventure, which was due to go up on the site the same day I launched our Patreon campaign. It killed the site. I thought I'd lost the entire thing. It was a very, very, very stressful few hours, and then I was too scared to do another one. and I never put it up.
But! I have thought a few times about Kickstarting a range of choose-your-own adventure books. I'll keep you posted...
But! I have thought a few times about Kickstarting a range of choose-your-own adventure books. I'll keep you posted...
SWITCHES OF EASTWICK
Dear Bisto Muffler. The Nintendo Switch had a special unveiling this morning. You might have done a Digi wossname on it, and that might have had some comments. So my question is: which one of those comments would you most like to be screamed into your face by a scary dentist?
EMERGENCY BACKUP QUESTION: which member of the cast of Rentaghost do you wish had left you a comment, and why?
Chris_A
Dear Bisto Muffler. The Nintendo Switch had a special unveiling this morning. You might have done a Digi wossname on it, and that might have had some comments. So my question is: which one of those comments would you most like to be screamed into your face by a scary dentist?
EMERGENCY BACKUP QUESTION: which member of the cast of Rentaghost do you wish had left you a comment, and why?
Chris_A
Do you remember the first few series of Rentaghost, with Mr Mumford and Mr Davenport? Mr Davenport died in real life, and Mr Mumford didn't want to carry on. So either of them. And I'd like them to become dentists and scream at me. Or Bob Block, who created and wrote the show. True story: I was slightly obsessed with Bob Block.
Well, obsessed might be the wrong word, given that obsession suggests that I stalked him, or posted him raw meat, or something. I did not do that, but I was very aware of his name on every episode, and I sometimes wonder if today's kids see my name on TV shows I write, and wonder who I am, in the same way I did Bob Block. So there you go.
Well, obsessed might be the wrong word, given that obsession suggests that I stalked him, or posted him raw meat, or something. I did not do that, but I was very aware of his name on every episode, and I sometimes wonder if today's kids see my name on TV shows I write, and wonder who I am, in the same way I did Bob Block. So there you go.
GAMING MILL'S LETTER
I used to have a laptop that I could only unlock using the built-in camera and facial recognition. Once I had to spend three weeks in hospital (it was without warning), because something was up with my body.
During those three weeks not only did I not receive one single visit (my Smoking Brother turned up with my phone for me but left it at reception - he 'couldn't be bothered to find the ward I was in'), but I also didn't shave.
When I got home I tried to unlock my laptop, but the beard thing wasn't working with it. Rather than shave my beard off, and as an experiment, I painted it white with gloss paint to try and trick the computer into thinking I hadn't got a beard. It didn't work.
Have you ever tried washing gloss paint out of a beard? Don't. Have you ever tried shaving a beard full of gloss paint? Don't. I also learned that white spirit accidentally splashed in your eyes and mouth stings like hell. I never grew a beard again.
I am fit and strong and that is all.
Gaming Mill
I used to have a laptop that I could only unlock using the built-in camera and facial recognition. Once I had to spend three weeks in hospital (it was without warning), because something was up with my body.
During those three weeks not only did I not receive one single visit (my Smoking Brother turned up with my phone for me but left it at reception - he 'couldn't be bothered to find the ward I was in'), but I also didn't shave.
When I got home I tried to unlock my laptop, but the beard thing wasn't working with it. Rather than shave my beard off, and as an experiment, I painted it white with gloss paint to try and trick the computer into thinking I hadn't got a beard. It didn't work.
Have you ever tried washing gloss paint out of a beard? Don't. Have you ever tried shaving a beard full of gloss paint? Don't. I also learned that white spirit accidentally splashed in your eyes and mouth stings like hell. I never grew a beard again.
I am fit and strong and that is all.
Gaming Mill
You didn't paint your beard with white gloss paint.
CLUCK OFF
Greetings and salutations, and Happy New Rotation of The Sun, cluck.
I very much enjoyed your features on Fighting Fantasy. I would like to cluck warmly as I reveal...that I too was a bit obsessed with the chrome on the Fallout-by-way-of-Mad Max car on Freeway Fighter's cover. I got quite nifty at it with pencil crayons, if I do say so myself.
However, I must now heckle my feathers and squawk disapprovingly, for Crypt of the Sorcerer also had its place in my heart; as I'd, for some reason, come to believe that the crooked armed Sorcerer of the cover looked like what Emperor Palpatine might look like in his bedclothes.
I will leave you with that fine image.
Klone (currently a chicken, long story)
Greetings and salutations, and Happy New Rotation of The Sun, cluck.
I very much enjoyed your features on Fighting Fantasy. I would like to cluck warmly as I reveal...that I too was a bit obsessed with the chrome on the Fallout-by-way-of-Mad Max car on Freeway Fighter's cover. I got quite nifty at it with pencil crayons, if I do say so myself.
However, I must now heckle my feathers and squawk disapprovingly, for Crypt of the Sorcerer also had its place in my heart; as I'd, for some reason, come to believe that the crooked armed Sorcerer of the cover looked like what Emperor Palpatine might look like in his bedclothes.
I will leave you with that fine image.
Klone (currently a chicken, long story)
Press reveal to see my rendering of that image.
REVEAL:
TUTS OUT
I often find myself laughing out loud whilst reading Digitiser2000, my Girlfriend tends to tut and say "are you reading that nerdy, Digi thing again?".
I send article links that I think are especially great/funny to friends, and they seem to like them, but not in the read-it-every-day sort of way that I do.
I've hope for my kids. My daughters both like Goujon John and Roaming Thomas, as well as the articles I send them, but I'm never sure if they're just humouring me cos I'm their dad.
I dont mind that no one I know is into Digi in the way I am, although I do enjoy the shared humour when they enjoy it with me... but I am wondering, is there likely to be another Digifest at any time in the future?
Maybe a bit more up north (Liverpool), I was gutted I couldn't get to the last one and whilst I'd likely be attending alone if there's another, it would be great to get together with other people who get "it".
I know you're probably mad busy at the moment with Found Footage, Digi, your writing work, general family life etc. and it might be the last thing on your mind right now but maybe in the future please?
Monkey Head
I often find myself laughing out loud whilst reading Digitiser2000, my Girlfriend tends to tut and say "are you reading that nerdy, Digi thing again?".
I send article links that I think are especially great/funny to friends, and they seem to like them, but not in the read-it-every-day sort of way that I do.
I've hope for my kids. My daughters both like Goujon John and Roaming Thomas, as well as the articles I send them, but I'm never sure if they're just humouring me cos I'm their dad.
I dont mind that no one I know is into Digi in the way I am, although I do enjoy the shared humour when they enjoy it with me... but I am wondering, is there likely to be another Digifest at any time in the future?
Maybe a bit more up north (Liverpool), I was gutted I couldn't get to the last one and whilst I'd likely be attending alone if there's another, it would be great to get together with other people who get "it".
I know you're probably mad busy at the moment with Found Footage, Digi, your writing work, general family life etc. and it might be the last thing on your mind right now but maybe in the future please?
Monkey Head
I would love to do another Digifest. It was a genuinely special event - and I think (I hope) everyone who came felt it was too. We learned a lot from organising the first one. But... it was an astonishing amount of work, in part because there were so few of us organising it all. And in part because I may have been a little too ambitious, by including a quiz, and videos and that.
That said, we were all very fired up afterwards, and started talking immediately about doing maybe two Digifests this year - one in London, one up north somewhere - and possibly even doing a show at the Edinburgh Festival. And then the adrenaline wore off, and exhaustion and sense kicked in.
The Centre for Computing History asked if we'd do another Quiz-Me-Do for Christmas, but I was completely spent. And, as I've now learned, took on too much in the last half of last year, and it made me rather ill. So, I honestly don't know if there'll be one this year - but then I didn't know this time last year whether there'll be one. So, never say never.
That said, we're going to be doing a launch party for Found Footage. Some people will be getting invites through the Kickstarter backing, but - if the venue is big enough - we may offer some additional tickets for sale. It's unlikely to be as complicated to organise as Block Party, though, and will - sorry - most likely be in London, or close to London, for the sake of my sanity.
I am toying with the idea of crowd-funding a book later this year, which many of you seemed to be keen on, following my Games and Scripts of my Years articles. Most likely it'll use those as a template, but go into much more detail. Let me know below if that's something you'd like. If so, I might do some sort of event around that.
But... as you say: it's all about Found Footage at the moment, so one thing at a time. Well, ten things, as I've got other work to do alongside it, and Digi, but... y'know. BYE NOW!
That said, we were all very fired up afterwards, and started talking immediately about doing maybe two Digifests this year - one in London, one up north somewhere - and possibly even doing a show at the Edinburgh Festival. And then the adrenaline wore off, and exhaustion and sense kicked in.
The Centre for Computing History asked if we'd do another Quiz-Me-Do for Christmas, but I was completely spent. And, as I've now learned, took on too much in the last half of last year, and it made me rather ill. So, I honestly don't know if there'll be one this year - but then I didn't know this time last year whether there'll be one. So, never say never.
That said, we're going to be doing a launch party for Found Footage. Some people will be getting invites through the Kickstarter backing, but - if the venue is big enough - we may offer some additional tickets for sale. It's unlikely to be as complicated to organise as Block Party, though, and will - sorry - most likely be in London, or close to London, for the sake of my sanity.
I am toying with the idea of crowd-funding a book later this year, which many of you seemed to be keen on, following my Games and Scripts of my Years articles. Most likely it'll use those as a template, but go into much more detail. Let me know below if that's something you'd like. If so, I might do some sort of event around that.
But... as you say: it's all about Found Footage at the moment, so one thing at a time. Well, ten things, as I've got other work to do alongside it, and Digi, but... y'know. BYE NOW!
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