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THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

26/8/2016

11 Comments

 
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Good evening/morning/afternoon, chums! Some of you may have seen that we've a new Digitiser mug in the offing.

These will initially be going on sale at the Block Party/Digifest on October 1st - along with our new range of t-shirts, and some other brand new goods (bring money) - before hitting the Digitiser2000 store like a concrete jeremy.

A few people have asked for black mugs, and heat-change reveal-o-mugs. We've looked into both options, and the unfortunate answer is... because we don't ever sell stuff in huge quantities, we have to limited runs of all our merchandise - which ups the production cost.

This means that in order to make it worth our while, and keep prices as cheap as possible for you, we have to consider the affordability. Rest assured, however, that the Digitiser Tea Prancer mug is really very lovely, and high quality. We're also changing our t-shirts to improve the quality - and will be unveiling some new designs very soon. Ironically, you've been asking for not-black shirts... and we aim to deliver on that request.

That's all the business. On with the letters. If you wish to feature on this page, you need to send an email here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
EMPIRE
I have just finished an old SNES game called Super The Empire Strikes Back. It was fun, but I didn’t like that Dark Emperor has Hand Soldier [SPOILERS!] frozen in carbon. Does anyone know if they made a sequel, as I feel this and several other story elements are left hanging?
Lindsay Wheatcroft
The game you're looking for is called Star Wars: Super Bombad Racing. Press reveal to see who your favourite character will be.
REVEAL:
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UMPIRE
I wish to lodge a complaint about your service,  I am unsure if it is a fault or by design but your page no longer changes automatically. 

I have grown accustomed to trying to read a entire page in 60 seconds and also waiting attentively for pages to come back round that I didn't finish, or were mired by corruption and missing bits.

I feel that the above taught me valuable life skills, such as patience, speed-reading and imagination trying to fill in the gaps. These are all skills that the youth of today are lacking, skills that if not learned could bring down society itself in 20 to 30 years time, when the youths of today are playing Pokemon Go in the commons bathroom and crying over the dispatch box in the chamber because someone called them a nob.

I urge you to reinstate the feature for the good of humanity otherwise I fear for the future of the human race.
Mr  Miss Order of the British Empire, MBE, MIA, WTF, AWOL
Unfortunately, Mr Miss, it's called progress. Press reveal to see something else that's no longer with us, due to the onwards march of time.
REVEAL:
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​CAMPFIRE  
In several of your reviews you talk about feeling no compulsion to complete a game before reviewing it, and that games probably shouldn't be saving brilliant bits beyond the point where most players have wandered off. Which is fair enough!

​That said, have there ever been games that you've been compelled to complete 100%, scouring every last drop of content and unlocking all the bonuses?

​Conversely, have there ever been any bonus bits that were so tantalising you played the game more than you otherwise might to unlock them? Blart! 
Chris A.
I don't know if I've ever been compelled to, say, collect every last collectable nick-nack in a game, but there are many that I've wanted to collect more of than others, "A". The Crackdown games are two that come to mind - partly because getting around the city was so enjoyable. Basically... give me a really satisfying control system, lots of tall buildings, and a ton of glowing orbs, and I'm happy. ORBS!

Bonus bits? Hmm. I suppose the 3D special stages in Sonic 2 were sufficiently impressive in their 3D-ness that I often went back to try and reach those.
CROSSFIRE
Don't know what to say about No Mans Sky.

First had a probem running it (PC): my card didn't support OpenGL4.5 (whatever the hell that is, I sometimes envy you console johnnies). Finally got it working, and - man - that game is DULL! and TEDIOUS!

Inventory management was a pain in the bum - most of the features were missing. Your man walks about like an OAP. The voice in your head constantly nags you to eat some more plutonium. Every planet is almost identical - every square mile of planet has some sort of building in it. Loads of identikit aliens spouting the same lines for carbon and a usless shield recharge...

Yet... I couldn't stop playing it! Trying to grind enough cash to get one more slot of my bag, fixing knackered ship after knackered ship for one extra slot in my ship - for what?? I still have no idea - it's left me dazed and confused

I won't say that it's BAD, but instead of 2 months more dev time, they needed about 2 more years It's boring. I wouldn't reccomend it to ANYONE!

It's like the gaming equivalent of ketamine - my mate did that and stared out of a window for 3 months and her bladder control went. Don't do drugs, kids... 
Favus
I know. I share your bafflement. I honestly can't wrap my head around why I keep playing it... and yet I keep playing it. There's so much wrong with it. So much which feels unfinished and wrong and weird. And yet somehow I'm just compelled to keep going. I don't believe that was by design - it's just a happy accident, surely?
TOWN CRIER
What is your favourite actual snake in a video game? For what it's worth mine is Snake Rattle n Roll SNAKE. Ta muchly
​Jonathan Coleman
The clever answer here would be Solid Snake. Do the reveal-oh to see the not-clever answer.
REVEAL:
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BARRY CRYER
Gaming setups. In the past, as children, we had to share our gaming spaces with our families, but now that we've grown up, we can live free(er). What is your gaming setup like now? Also, maybe a feature on unique/messy/celebrity gaming spaces is in order?

Have a good weekend.
Stuart Lindsay
Mine is terribly mundane. I don't have a special gaming den or anything - just the telly in the back room of my house. There are games scattered everywhere, and occasionally my other half buys a new box to put them in, and I invariably knock the box over at some point and forget to put the games back. Also, the top has come off my PS4, and I can't be bothered to put it back on. 
CRY ME A RIVER
​In circa 1994, I swallowed a SNES. It never emerged. I don't know why I did it, but I'm worried I might die. Should I swallow a spider/horse/Atari Jaguar to catch it?
Ed
You need to swallow Julian Rignall.
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​RIVERS OF BABYLON
As a token of my thanks for all the laughs over the years (I counted at least 9), I wish to give something back to the Digi community.

I've been sitting on a potential goldmine of gaming goodies for a while now, and I believe that today is the right time to share with you all.

​All I ask in return is that should anyone be lucky enough to win the videophones, please send me one of them as a thank you. I promise I won't call you at 3AM.
Dr Dagless

That's very nice of you. If anyone else has a load of old tat that they found in a bush, which they'd like to share with us - maybe they could take a photo of some old shoes they found through rooting about in a bin, a discarded rubber johnny, or an old pin-up of Neil Morrissey - then please send it over!

Not even joking. Please send it over.

Please-me-do?

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MR T'S PROBLEM PAGE

Dear Mr T,
I wonder if you can help resolve a long-running debate between myself and my husband. He claims that cochineal is no longer used as a food colouring, whereas I say that it is. We've both looked online for an answer, and drawn a blank. Please help!

Mrs Django Rechained

Well, Mrs Rechained, I'm afraid I don't even know what ​cochineal is. However, should I ever catch you in the act of filling my bins with this "cochineal" I will feel compelled to ISSUE you with A special ORDER restricting YOU from coming WITHIN nine MILES of my home.

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11 Comments
Spiney O'Sullivan
26/8/2016 12:50:56 pm

That mug is fine vessel for anyone's morning pick-me-up whether it be tea, coffee, gin, methylated spirits, or a concoction of all four.

Reply
FEoD link
26/8/2016 01:27:09 pm

There are more than four morning pick-me-ups for example you forgot soup and one time on the internet I saw a video where two girls were forced to share the same beverage container with predictably hilarious results.
If only they'd had a Digitiser mug each!

Reply
Spiney O'Sullivan
26/8/2016 04:40:05 pm

Soup for breakfast? That's disgusting.

Chris
26/8/2016 04:42:48 pm

I concur: bit weird.

However, nobody has mentioned the possibility of a mug of cereal (with milk, natch).

RG
26/8/2016 04:45:25 pm

Or a nice hot mug of toast?

RG
26/8/2016 04:46:20 pm

Or a cuppa bacon, sausage and egg...

Chris
26/8/2016 04:47:59 pm

Perfect for porridge!

ChorltonWheelie
26/8/2016 07:44:18 pm

Those tiny fruit juice glasses you get in hotels and BnB's yeah?
Mean and risible. You need eight or nine refills to wet your whistle. Pointless.

That's what a so called MUG that holds less than 2/3 of a pint is.
Make me a big, proper tea mug and I'll buy a box full.

Reply
Chris
26/8/2016 02:22:29 pm

I did see some pants on a fence once. I didn't take a photo or I'd send it to you.

I did retrieve the pants (slightly soiled) and will pop them in the post.

Reply
Damon link
26/8/2016 06:12:02 pm

I liked the old shirts... they actually fit me properly unlike most shirts I find...

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Scone Reviews
29/8/2016 02:35:49 pm

Poo snake me do

Reply



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