Not been a bad week overall has it? When last we had a Digitiser Friday Letters Page the Kickstarter campaign for Digitiser The Show had just launched - but I don't think any of us expected it to do this well this quickly. Thank you to everyone who has chosen to join us on this ridiculous and ambitious adventure.
We've still got three weeks to go, however - and if you haven't backed us yet, and would like to feel you've played a part in getting a proper gaming telly show made (albeit not for telly) then please head over to Kickstarter.
You're not going to be charged until the end of the campaign, and the sooner we know the sort of budget we have to work with, the sooner I can properly start working out how to make this thing a reality.
But enough about that for the moment: if you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails early to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
We've still got three weeks to go, however - and if you haven't backed us yet, and would like to feel you've played a part in getting a proper gaming telly show made (albeit not for telly) then please head over to Kickstarter.
You're not going to be charged until the end of the campaign, and the sooner we know the sort of budget we have to work with, the sooner I can properly start working out how to make this thing a reality.
But enough about that for the moment: if you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails early to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
GUEST LIST
Having been suitably excited by the success of the Digitiser The Show Kickstarter, and reading through the list of guests, I was put in mind of other gaming TV bods from back in the day. I know you said you were going to be careful not to make the show into an endless nostalgia fest, but just wondered if there were any other famous names in the pipeline?
For example, your last meeting with Dave 'Games Animal' Perry went rather well and he appeared in Found Footage, so any chance of him popping in to do a turn?
I know Stuart Campbell is busy trying to liberate Scotland from the evil clutches of the Empire (British), so he's probably otherwise occupied.
I did wonder about Dominik Diamond appearing for a bit, but then I remembered he went into self-imposed exile after that unfortunate crucifixion incident... took me a while to find him but apparently he's now on CJAQ (Jack 96.9) in Calgary, Canada doing the breakfast slot. Was kind of strange hearing him again after all these years. I can't remember if you had any dealings with him and GamesMaster back in the Digi days, but I do know there's still more than a bit of frostiness between him and Perry at least over the famous Mario 64 debacle.
Anyway, can't wait to see the end result. Can't go wrong now that Mr. T's on board!
Rick Fiasco
Having been suitably excited by the success of the Digitiser The Show Kickstarter, and reading through the list of guests, I was put in mind of other gaming TV bods from back in the day. I know you said you were going to be careful not to make the show into an endless nostalgia fest, but just wondered if there were any other famous names in the pipeline?
For example, your last meeting with Dave 'Games Animal' Perry went rather well and he appeared in Found Footage, so any chance of him popping in to do a turn?
I know Stuart Campbell is busy trying to liberate Scotland from the evil clutches of the Empire (British), so he's probably otherwise occupied.
I did wonder about Dominik Diamond appearing for a bit, but then I remembered he went into self-imposed exile after that unfortunate crucifixion incident... took me a while to find him but apparently he's now on CJAQ (Jack 96.9) in Calgary, Canada doing the breakfast slot. Was kind of strange hearing him again after all these years. I can't remember if you had any dealings with him and GamesMaster back in the Digi days, but I do know there's still more than a bit of frostiness between him and Perry at least over the famous Mario 64 debacle.
Anyway, can't wait to see the end result. Can't go wrong now that Mr. T's on board!
Rick Fiasco
I don't want to give everything away about the show just yet - some of it must remain a surprise. But... we have indeed reached out to additional potential guests which have yet to be revealed...
ARTEFACTUAL
In light of my film The Museum potentially borrowing some artefacts from you as museum exhibits, what artefacts from your life would you bequeath to a museum?
Chris Bullock
In light of my film The Museum potentially borrowing some artefacts from you as museum exhibits, what artefacts from your life would you bequeath to a museum?
Chris Bullock
Jeez. Hmm. That's a good question. I guess it depends on what sort of museum it was. Truth is, I'm not really much of a hoarder these days. I used to be much more of one than I am now, but nowadays it's just all... stuff. I'm not sure there'd be much interest in a Museum of Mr Biffo... and I don't have much in the way of memorabilia to put in a Digitiser Museum.
But I do have an original Sweep puppet from when I worked on Sooty. Let's shove that in. The puppets had big, long bodies which almost went up to the puppeteer's elbow - and were just big enough to hide bottles of wine inside.
Oh - and go follow Chris's short film on Facebook.
But I do have an original Sweep puppet from when I worked on Sooty. Let's shove that in. The puppets had big, long bodies which almost went up to the puppeteer's elbow - and were just big enough to hide bottles of wine inside.
Oh - and go follow Chris's short film on Facebook.
SPACED IN
I always thought Spaced was a bit smug, but the best thing it said was "Babylon 5 is a big pile of shit". I watched it of course because I was a nerd and at that time it was either that or Byker Grove, but it was boring back then and got even more boring when Deep Space Nine came along.
Deep Space Nine had the benefit of having a nutter of a commander and Picard in the first episode, and also had the benefit of not being shit. They could afford to do models too, so it didn't look like those weird French CG anthropomorphic insect cartoons on Channel 4 and actually looked like, well, Star Trek. And then it got even better with the wars and the moral stuff and more explosions to the point where many people remember it more fondly than any other Star Trek, even the one with the whales.
The only thing anyone remembers Babylon 5 for is having its security guard named after biscuits. Not even good biscuits, either.
Charlie Brigden
I always thought Spaced was a bit smug, but the best thing it said was "Babylon 5 is a big pile of shit". I watched it of course because I was a nerd and at that time it was either that or Byker Grove, but it was boring back then and got even more boring when Deep Space Nine came along.
Deep Space Nine had the benefit of having a nutter of a commander and Picard in the first episode, and also had the benefit of not being shit. They could afford to do models too, so it didn't look like those weird French CG anthropomorphic insect cartoons on Channel 4 and actually looked like, well, Star Trek. And then it got even better with the wars and the moral stuff and more explosions to the point where many people remember it more fondly than any other Star Trek, even the one with the whales.
The only thing anyone remembers Babylon 5 for is having its security guard named after biscuits. Not even good biscuits, either.
Charlie Brigden
I liked Spaced, but yeah... some of it sort of felt a bit pleased with itself. I mostly saw it as an honest attempt to treat geeky culture as a normal thing.
I wonder why all the references and whatnot in Spaced were so well-received when Ready Player One has been getting so much grief. They're both laden with references, but was it the different approaches, or an issue of timing? Geek culture really is the norm now, so perhaps Ready Player One feels like less of a novelty. Also: all that misogyny and the bloke what wrote it being friends with Harry Knowles doesn't help.
But anyway... Deep Space Nine. It was alright, but I apparently stopped watching before it got good. Which is weird, because you'd think I'd love a show which featured a policeman who lived in a bucket.
I wonder why all the references and whatnot in Spaced were so well-received when Ready Player One has been getting so much grief. They're both laden with references, but was it the different approaches, or an issue of timing? Geek culture really is the norm now, so perhaps Ready Player One feels like less of a novelty. Also: all that misogyny and the bloke what wrote it being friends with Harry Knowles doesn't help.
But anyway... Deep Space Nine. It was alright, but I apparently stopped watching before it got good. Which is weird, because you'd think I'd love a show which featured a policeman who lived in a bucket.
A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE
I know you don't like long letters, but it's this one too short?
Thanks,
RG
PS. Friday is my birthday, could I have an unpleasant reveal-o?
I know you don't like long letters, but it's this one too short?
Thanks,
RG
PS. Friday is my birthday, could I have an unpleasant reveal-o?
Press reveal to find out:
REVEAL:
BEST WISHES
Well looks like the Kickstarter got off to a great start on 9/3 Mr. Biffo.
Turns out that day has a tinge of sadness to it, as my father passed away the same night after a long battle.
So me and the family are really devastated about it, I can remember when I was a kid he would always help me try and tune them in on the television or if there was a technical problem he would usually break out his soldering kit.
But honestly, I feel empty and I don't know what to do... I backed the Found Footage where it gave me some happiness during the whole thing leading up to it but now im at a loss.
Sincerely,
Nicholas McDonald
Well looks like the Kickstarter got off to a great start on 9/3 Mr. Biffo.
Turns out that day has a tinge of sadness to it, as my father passed away the same night after a long battle.
So me and the family are really devastated about it, I can remember when I was a kid he would always help me try and tune them in on the television or if there was a technical problem he would usually break out his soldering kit.
But honestly, I feel empty and I don't know what to do... I backed the Found Footage where it gave me some happiness during the whole thing leading up to it but now im at a loss.
Sincerely,
Nicholas McDonald
Nicholas, I remember you writing a letter about your dad's illness in the run-up to Found Footage, and I'm so sorry to hear that it has had such a sad ending. There's literally nothing I can say to make it better. Grief is its own beast, and it's a tenacious and brutal process. It'll get better, but I'm so sorry that you're going to have to go through something so wretched before it does.
I did consider replying to you personally, and not putting your letter up, but I know that in choosing to publish it the Digitiser community will rally round in the comments below.
I did consider replying to you personally, and not putting your letter up, but I know that in choosing to publish it the Digitiser community will rally round in the comments below.
AMIGAGA
Oh, Biffster.
I'm sorry about the abuse you've received from Amiga owners both in the past and -- apparently -- to this day. I'm going to come across like one of those #notallmen idiots, but I am an Amiga fan and we're not all like that.
Honest. I both like playing Monkey Island from eleven 3.5" disks and think you do excellent work, so they aren't mutually exclusive positions, and I don't know why the Amiga seems to attract more idiots than other computers and consoles do.
A couple of years ago, an engineer from a well-known broadband company came to "unblock" my internet "pipes", spotted my Amiga 1200, and gave an appreciative and nostalgic coo. He was a nice enough chap, so there's at least two halfway decent Amiga fans out there. That's counting myself, although I accidentally pocketed my girlfriend's car keys today and left her stranded in the city centre, so maybe I am a bastard after all.
Kelvin Green
Oh, Biffster.
I'm sorry about the abuse you've received from Amiga owners both in the past and -- apparently -- to this day. I'm going to come across like one of those #notallmen idiots, but I am an Amiga fan and we're not all like that.
Honest. I both like playing Monkey Island from eleven 3.5" disks and think you do excellent work, so they aren't mutually exclusive positions, and I don't know why the Amiga seems to attract more idiots than other computers and consoles do.
A couple of years ago, an engineer from a well-known broadband company came to "unblock" my internet "pipes", spotted my Amiga 1200, and gave an appreciative and nostalgic coo. He was a nice enough chap, so there's at least two halfway decent Amiga fans out there. That's counting myself, although I accidentally pocketed my girlfriend's car keys today and left her stranded in the city centre, so maybe I am a bastard after all.
Kelvin Green
Of course there are a lot of lovely Amiga owners out there. I don't tar them all with the same brush, and never have. Even in the old Digitiser days we were only really trolling them to amuse ourselves; there was no real genuine malice towards Amiga owners. And I think most Amiga owners - or former Amiga owners - know that when I do it these days it's in the spirit of a very long-running joke. I mean, I'd have to be mad to still hold a grudge after all this time.
When I do it nowadays, it's with the knowledge that I bring any grief upon myself, so I can take it on the chin if it turns unpleasant. However, where I do draw the line is when other people - Digitiser readers - are getting abuse from humourless idiots who think any of it matters. Hence; that's the main reason I took the article down the other day. Digi's here to make life better - not to make it worse for anyone.
But anyhow... something that has happened since the noisiness of the Kickstarter campaign has started up is a slight uptick in the number of idiots gravitating towards me online...
YES WE KNOW DESTRUCTION DERBY WAS BASED UPON A REAL-LIFE ACTIVITY: THAT'S THE POINT.
Irritating as it is, if somebody chooses to be sarcastic about Digitiser The Show, or calls me an unpleasant name, or chooses to be a downer on something just for the sake of it, I'm always aware that it's really saying more about them than it is me.
When I do it nowadays, it's with the knowledge that I bring any grief upon myself, so I can take it on the chin if it turns unpleasant. However, where I do draw the line is when other people - Digitiser readers - are getting abuse from humourless idiots who think any of it matters. Hence; that's the main reason I took the article down the other day. Digi's here to make life better - not to make it worse for anyone.
But anyhow... something that has happened since the noisiness of the Kickstarter campaign has started up is a slight uptick in the number of idiots gravitating towards me online...
YES WE KNOW DESTRUCTION DERBY WAS BASED UPON A REAL-LIFE ACTIVITY: THAT'S THE POINT.
Irritating as it is, if somebody chooses to be sarcastic about Digitiser The Show, or calls me an unpleasant name, or chooses to be a downer on something just for the sake of it, I'm always aware that it's really saying more about them than it is me.
EXCITEMENT LEVELS AT MAXIMUM
Dearest Biffs,
Wooooo, it's been dead exciting watching the Kickstarter progress, hasn't it? Super pleased that it's going so well and absolutely can't wait to see the show. Every update makes me look forward to it more!
Sam
Dearest Biffs,
Wooooo, it's been dead exciting watching the Kickstarter progress, hasn't it? Super pleased that it's going so well and absolutely can't wait to see the show. Every update makes me look forward to it more!
Sam
Whoop! Here's a nice little interview I did about it. These are indeed exciting times.
ARCADIAN
Dear Mr Biffollow the Yellow Brick Road. As a lad on holiday in Blackpool I remember an amusement arcade called Mr B's, though apparently it's now called Mr T's.
Do you think the forces behind the universe are trying to communicate something to us? Having not been to Blackpool for a while I can't comment on whether the change in nomenclature has impacted on the number of bin based incidents but you never know.
Yours etc.
Treacle
Dear Mr Biffollow the Yellow Brick Road. As a lad on holiday in Blackpool I remember an amusement arcade called Mr B's, though apparently it's now called Mr T's.
Do you think the forces behind the universe are trying to communicate something to us? Having not been to Blackpool for a while I can't comment on whether the change in nomenclature has impacted on the number of bin based incidents but you never know.
Yours etc.
Treacle
Wut?? Is this true? Well, that's a bit weird.
SPITS AND EBAYS
I was thinking about your successful TV writing career with much admiration. Its a tough business, as I found out for myself many years ago when I was commissioned to adapt the Arthur Ransome classic Swallows and Amazons for a modern audience.
A week after delivering the first draft, I was summoned into the office of famed television executive Michael Grade, who barely looked up from his desk as he motioned me towards an empty chair. As I was about to sit down, Grade (Britain's pornographer in chief) leaped from his chair and started hitting me with a rolled up copy of my screenplay shrieking "Titty's out ! Titty's out, we must take the Titty's out!"
Shocked and disturbed by his outburst I left the building never to return, and gave up on writing completely.
I'm sure this is the sort of thing you manage to put up with on a regular basis.
Regards,
DCM
P.S. I'm in Beetroot now.
I was thinking about your successful TV writing career with much admiration. Its a tough business, as I found out for myself many years ago when I was commissioned to adapt the Arthur Ransome classic Swallows and Amazons for a modern audience.
A week after delivering the first draft, I was summoned into the office of famed television executive Michael Grade, who barely looked up from his desk as he motioned me towards an empty chair. As I was about to sit down, Grade (Britain's pornographer in chief) leaped from his chair and started hitting me with a rolled up copy of my screenplay shrieking "Titty's out ! Titty's out, we must take the Titty's out!"
Shocked and disturbed by his outburst I left the building never to return, and gave up on writing completely.
I'm sure this is the sort of thing you manage to put up with on a regular basis.
Regards,
DCM
P.S. I'm in Beetroot now.
What do you mean you're in Beetroot? What is "Beetroot"? What does that mean?
NOTHING
Dear Digitiser. I rarely send a letter because I have very little to say.
This week is no exception.
Nicola Head
Dear Digitiser. I rarely send a letter because I have very little to say.
This week is no exception.
Nicola Head
...
WHAT?
Dear Mr Biffo, when a security chap tells you that he's scared of 13 year olds who want to use the toilets what should you think? Does he deserve backup? Could this be in the form of a Mr T teletext-style meme to help him out, sucker? Thanks.
A Geeky Girl
@1waytofindout
Dear Mr Biffo, when a security chap tells you that he's scared of 13 year olds who want to use the toilets what should you think? Does he deserve backup? Could this be in the form of a Mr T teletext-style meme to help him out, sucker? Thanks.
A Geeky Girl
@1waytofindout
No - seriously: what??
RIP VIPS
What with Ken Dodd, Stephen Hawking, Jim Bowen and that Russian spy not doing so good, prospective guests for the Digitiser show are dropping like flies. I hope you are wrapping up Dara O’Briain and former England goalkeeper David James up in cotton wool so you at least have someone to appear.
I hope you are literally wrapping them up in literal cotton wool so they are not dropping like literal flies. Some of the Royals will now be free as they are no longer off to the world cup, so there’s another possibility. It’s the very least I deserve for my £10 pledge.
Chris Dyson
What with Ken Dodd, Stephen Hawking, Jim Bowen and that Russian spy not doing so good, prospective guests for the Digitiser show are dropping like flies. I hope you are wrapping up Dara O’Briain and former England goalkeeper David James up in cotton wool so you at least have someone to appear.
I hope you are literally wrapping them up in literal cotton wool so they are not dropping like literal flies. Some of the Royals will now be free as they are no longer off to the world cup, so there’s another possibility. It’s the very least I deserve for my £10 pledge.
Chris Dyson
I'm not having Dara O'Briain on the show after he tweeted me when I got his name wrong, and loads of his fans called me an idiot. He seems like a nice bloke though. I saw him once at Derren Brown show. He was up in the balcony.
MR PSB'S LETTER
Hello, This is just a letter to say I am very glad that the Kickstarter has been so successful so far and that I hope that it will continue to be so.
I haven't played any games very much recently other than Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp, which I am assured is the worst game Nintendo have ever made, because unlike mobile games where you download them free and then if you want to speed things up you pay a bit of money or a lot of money, it is a mobile game where if you want to speed things up you pay a bit of money or a lot of money.
THE THING IS, I've not felt the need to give Nintendo ANY money for it. It's a fun time killer while sat on a train or toilet and sure, it's not got the same depth as the full games, but it distils their essence down and cuts out the guff. Go to place. Give animal something. Get thing in return.
The problem I have with this game is I don't want to stop playing, because I've been playing since the start and they keep adding new events and items and animals, and if I were to stop I might miss some of these things. Even though there's no real reason to keep playing because they're just adding new stuff all the time to try and tempt me into paying. Maybe I'll get a life one day and stop but until then this is my life.
I had a quick go on Final Fantasy 15 the other day, but it hasn't grabbed my attention which means I'm the stupid one for buying it full price on release when I was doing other stuff. It's no Final Fantasy 8, is it?
I'm aware I owe everyone a special story because the Kickstarter got funded, but it's been a while and I can't get it to come out. I might have to get a pad ready and work it out with a pencil.
OK WELL UNTIL NEXT TIME
BYE
MRPSB
Hello, This is just a letter to say I am very glad that the Kickstarter has been so successful so far and that I hope that it will continue to be so.
I haven't played any games very much recently other than Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp, which I am assured is the worst game Nintendo have ever made, because unlike mobile games where you download them free and then if you want to speed things up you pay a bit of money or a lot of money, it is a mobile game where if you want to speed things up you pay a bit of money or a lot of money.
THE THING IS, I've not felt the need to give Nintendo ANY money for it. It's a fun time killer while sat on a train or toilet and sure, it's not got the same depth as the full games, but it distils their essence down and cuts out the guff. Go to place. Give animal something. Get thing in return.
The problem I have with this game is I don't want to stop playing, because I've been playing since the start and they keep adding new events and items and animals, and if I were to stop I might miss some of these things. Even though there's no real reason to keep playing because they're just adding new stuff all the time to try and tempt me into paying. Maybe I'll get a life one day and stop but until then this is my life.
I had a quick go on Final Fantasy 15 the other day, but it hasn't grabbed my attention which means I'm the stupid one for buying it full price on release when I was doing other stuff. It's no Final Fantasy 8, is it?
I'm aware I owe everyone a special story because the Kickstarter got funded, but it's been a while and I can't get it to come out. I might have to get a pad ready and work it out with a pencil.
OK WELL UNTIL NEXT TIME
BYE
MRPSB
I've not played Final Fantasy 15 either. Hey - talking of games which demand you give them money because they keep adding things... has anybody heard about this Fortnite game? I hadn't even heard of it until the other night, when my mate told me that his step-son was spending loads of money on it. Then the next day I see it all over Twitter. Apparently it's the new Minecraft. What's that all about?
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