After this, you'll have one more regular episode, and then it's the big finale - The Trojan Arse Protocol...
And then I can get Digi2000 back to something approaching a normal schedule. Right. On with this week's letters.
If you would like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails early to this place here: email@example.com
With Summer fast receding in the northern hemisphere, I thought I'd share a holiday memory of a Spanish lorry straight outta Carry On. Or an eloquent Zombie Dave.
With the announcement that Dyson are building an electric car as well as vacuum cleaners I wondered if you had any industry insights into what other manufacturers are going to be building, please?
Sugar: foaming Stuarts.
Sinclair: new-type pasta bake.
So - like everyone else I've been loving Found Footage.
Manorak was particularly good as it showed me that rather than just watching another YouYube video, I was actually emotionally Invested! The scene where all those people claimed to be GJ and later the appearance of the man himself gave me shivers - no mean feat as I find it really hard to watch a YouTube video in the same way I would watch the telly (it's an age thing I reckon).
Doesn't mean I fully understand everything that's going on of course - I'm relying on Brannigan's Vortex to fill in the gaps - they're doing stirling work!
Bloody great though - itching to see the rest (or that may be the scurvy!)
“The game’s just getting started.”
Those were the last words the cowboy said to me.
I may as well just come right on out here and say it: I don’t like Microsoft. Anything about them; any of their pomps and works.
About 18 years ago I went to Las Vegas for the 1st time and I wound up playing in a poker game. When in Roma and all that… I found myself in the Stratosphere - the lowest rent dive on the strip!
I sat opposite a cliche wrought Texan in a 10 gallon hat and the name of the game was Texas Hold ‘em. I was doing rather well when he pulled out enough greenbacks to make Danger Mouse *squeak*, and bought in a towering pile of chips. I knew this guy’s game but for those unfamiliar with poker I’ll quickly explain:
If I have 1 chip and you have 10 then you can take advantage of your stronger position and bully away. There’s an old saying in poker that all you need is a chip and a chair. But please remember that it’s a game played by degenerate gamblers.
I had turned a nice profit and as this was a money game, I bid the cowboy farewell, same the dealer and walked away thinking how this shark in a shitkicker had paid for the steak I, very much like a vampire, was about to go and ‘get’.
Microsoft, with Bill’s dollar bills, could buy success in the console arena, and as Seamus Blackley had convinced Hell’s Gates that the future lay under the telly not on the desktop, they too bought in heavy. Yee-haw!
Modern gaming, for me at least, is bullet pointed by Microshafts greed, fumbling and the bluffs they nearly got away with… and some of the ones that they did.
Paying a subscription to play the game you bought on a machine you’ve paid for across an internet connection that you’re contracted for? Hell yeah! Muchas gracias, Señor Gates!
Downloading enormous update patches… I feel your pain, Biffo. Remember when the original Xbox came out sporting it’s little hard disc? I do, and I distinctly remember Microsoft saying how it wasn’t there to patch games - very strict quality control. Nothing to worry about…. How does Satan’s winky taste, Billy No Mates (Gates)?
Needing the foresight to preorder to avoid waiting or being scalped… you know, basically being organised and showing some resolve in order to play a game. Sounds priddy darn toodin’!
Okay, I can’t blame things selling out on MS…. But literally everything else!
Microsoft brought the HDD, the online subscription model, dodgy hardware, broken promises and outright lies… and the cherry on top of that big ole shitcake: THE KINECT.
They have shuttered some of the most talented studios in the country… the World actually. And when they showed their hand at the Xbox One reveal we all bore witness to their ultimate vision for gaming. *Parp*
They’ll achieve it too because… frog in boiling water.
As I got up to leave, I turned to him, looked him in his old reptilian eyes and, grinning as the words left my mouth, *quipped, “”.
*I wish I had something cool to fill those quotation marks with…. I can’t remember what I said, but suffice to say I was smiling when I said it so it was more than likely extraordinarily quick and cocky; Bond-like.
That felt lovely and cathartic… Like the sort of wind you break after a Sunday carvery with a pint of real ale… you know the ones…. like pulling warm silk from your anus.
I also think GAME need some time on the naughty step.
Not the staff, I hasten to add, butt the company the company the company as a whole (arse). You’ll notice the entrepreneur / rogue / double-ended anus, Mike Ashley, in my collage - I was going to totally ‘put some manners’ on that and then thought, “ENOUGH!” You get the picture, though!
But gee *chirp*, get a load of this: when Nintendo do well it makes me happy! When MS screw up it makes me sprout wings and adorn the bonnet of the nearest Rolls Royce and strike the familiar pose of the Spirit of Ecstasy.
Not out of spite, either - out of a restored faith in mankind and that the bad guys don’t always win!
What’s your take?
Dear Monsieur Bisto, shortly after watching Found Footage up to episode three (as that was the most recent at the time), I wanted more Digi vids in my eyes and brain, only to scroll though the channel and find everything apart from FF has gone! My question is what happened to them and will they ever return?
Keep up the great everything,
Your silent observer,
You mentioned…er… a bit back… you know, back a bit, about how you were looking to incentivise Digitiser2000 by adding extra content, presumably behind a paywall and that you’d have more to say, presumably, after FF.
I’ve got an idea that I’m fairly certain would have already crossed your mind: FORUM.
I’m aware that there’s some history here but hear me out please. In my short time here, I’ve noticed an increase in message activity. Some really great characters have emerged (or have been there for ages… dunno) and counting myself as one of your regulars, I think it’d be great to build on that community.
I think it’d also be fun to have a forum swear jar:
Turn the air blue but every time you do, the cost of your following month’s contribution goes up by… 20p? At the end of every year the money gets given to charity - may I suggest the Donkey Sanctuary? Not only are donkeys really cute but they also are VERY VERY NICE and they, to my mind at least, are an appropriate cause for people that can’t help but make an ass out of themselves!
How about a fart jar?
Working on the honour system, obvs, but what a lot of fun! The money raised via that pot could go to…. um….. er….. (F)arts in the community?
Okay, probably terrible ideas, I mean you’d need a bursar and all that faff but the forum idea could work, no?
What kind of things did you have in mind?
PS - Leftover Turkey Goujons Recipe: Regarding the surplus footage from the series - Christmas Special? Last year's was a lot of fun and it would be remiss….
But... yeah, I do want to find a way to give people an extra incentive to back Digi - or, rather, my work as a whole. Frankly, the Patreon and Paypal donations have saved my skin on more than one occasion this year, for which I'm very grateful.
I'm open to suggestions.
A forum probably isn't something I'm going to do. Never say never - I mean, since Found Footage launched there seems to be a real community growing - but there's already a Digi sub-Reddit, Brannigan's Vortex on Facebook, and Twitter. To be totally honest, I've found it a real struggle the past month to keep up with it all - in addition to all that, I'm getting dozens of well-intentioned messages a day from people - while also trying to keep Digi afloat, and finish Found Footage. Chucking a forum into the mix would probably kill me.
As for a Christmas Special... I had originally intended to do one for this year, but given that the episodes you've had are three times longer, and about ten times more ambitious, than I'd promised initially... you might've had your lot for this year. I hope nobody feels short-changed by that. And if you do, well, sod you.
I'm knackered, frankly, and once the series is finished we've got to start putting the DVD together, and fulfilling other backer rewards. Some of the unused footage WILL end up on the DVD though, along with other behind-the-scenes stuff.
That's not to say I won't put a little something out for Christmas... but it won't be a full ep.
I'm sure you have, but I was wondering if you'd seen the most recent Oats short "ADAM: The Mirror"? I somehow missed the first part but was extra amazed that you can download it and run it in real-time. It needs a pretty beefy graphics card but having my own computer generating the visuals in real-time feels very cool.
Have you ever inadvertently got sucked into playing an MMO or one of the other genres with increasingly silly acronyms? I'm not sure if it counts as one but I recently started playing Warframe and I don't think I've ever put 75 hours into any game, even including replaying my favourites.
It's free-to-play but the total of £25 I've put in so far doesn't feel wasted, it feels more like helping contribute to keeping this thing I enjoy so much going in a similar way to a Patreon.
I really can't recommend it highly enough, I know it certainly won't be for everyone but being free and available on all platforms (but no Switch sadly, that'd be very interesting though) it feels like it doesn't get the attention it deserves.
Whether I play for 5 minutes or 5 hours I always feel like I've done something productive with my time and actually enjoyed it rather than trudging through out of a sense of obligation. I promise I don't work for the developers or anything like that either!
Loving Found Footage. Really looking forward to the rest and especially the finale, then rewatching so I can no doubt wonder how I missed the hints at the true nature of Xenoxxx and The Living Bum. The scenes in the hospital with the figure observing give me a similar uneasy feeling to the dream sequence from John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness, still what I consider to be the creepiest scene he has ever filmed with his nicotine-stained cameras.
I recommend uninstalling all games (except maybe Warframe) and playing Inside on the Xbox or PC instead, I'll keep recommending it too!
The only MMO I ever got hooked on - apart from a brief flirtation with World of Warcraft - was some old MUD thing we used to play in the office at Teletext. Most of the players hated me, because apparently I didn't take it seriously enough.
As much as I rather like the small, friendly community that has built up around Found Footage and wouldn’t like to taint that cordial atmosphere with too many ‘normal’ people showing up, it would be nice if the series could reach a slightly larger audience eventually.
If only to take the financial strain off you a little! But how could you get it in front of the eyes of Amazon or Netflix subscribers, for example, without it being either one of those companies’ commissions or a viral sensation that gets picked up?
I haven’t made any enquiries myself, of course, but I did take a quick look at the Amazon Studios site to satisfy my curiosity. It appears from their FAQ that they do accept submissions of unsolicited material (with writers’ guild members skirting around the usual selection process). It doesn’t have to be in written form either; not only do they consider scripts and treatments, but finished videos too. Even if they have already debuted online elsewhere.
I guess you’ve probably already considered and investigated this, in which case, sorry for wasting your time with my waffle. But I thought this information was worth passing on to you anyway just on the off-chance it might be useful.
Thanks for all the great work so far. I’m looking forward, as always, to the next episode.
I think that once the series is over, my intention with it will be more clear - and the Finale itself is its own sort of calling card, in that it shows that it isn't just rubbish-looking VCR stuff that I can do.
So, we'll see. There are all sorts of rights issues I'd have to sort out if FF went to somewhere like Amazon, plus I'm also quite keen to keep it in its YouTube home, and work on something new in a similar spirit. I have ideas!
This week, due to some inner ear problem, I seem to be experiencing all the side effects of using a VR headset bar one - giving a tech company a lot of money. So it’s spinning head, feeling queazy, an unable to stand up without swaying alarmingly. Hooray!
Anyway, the real reason is to say how much fun the extra Found Footage puzzles have been. I much enjoyed digging around in the Spectrum game/program - and I still intend to get it working on a real Spectrum (will be trying again when the spinning stops) if possible, and not relying on just an emulator. Any success will be trumpeted around Brannigan’s Vortex on Facebook, of course.
Anyway, looking forward to the next episode. I liked the last one - good fun to watch. The episodes are a bit like the growing sizes of the Harry Potter books, aren’t they though? The first was small, but the last one needed a wheel barrow, or a team of heavy horses, to lug it about.
Good day. Can you settle an argument between me and an associate please? What did Michael Finnegan grow on his Chin again? Best,
It's almost exactly one year since Block Party 2016, where your wonderfully unexpected video kicked off Found Footage.
So, when the finale is out, and you've had time to recover mentally and financially, how about arranging a similar gathering for early 2018?
Though it's been fun following Found Footage online, the excitement and conspiracy theories with each new episode, the best thing has been meeting people in person. It would be great to catch up with everyone involved in less damp/lubricated conditions, and you might even meet some new talent for your next project.
The Cambridge Computer Museum seems the place for it. They are excellent hosts, have plenty of hands-on exhibits to amuse between scheduled events, and you can even show off some of the some filming locations. Invite the Teletext crew along, offer workshops for aspiring low-budget video makers, and it could easily fill a weekend.
You could call it Goujon Con.
Basically, there aren't the hours in the day, or the money in my coffers, to do everything I'd like to do.
Next time can you go on an interesting radio station. Like Radio West, Radio Orwell or Saxon Radio? Radio 4 is just so square man.
As Mr PSB is away in New Zealand scouting Worzel Gummidge Down Under locations for me, can I just put in the obligatory reference to bottoms and trains. Thank you.
You can listen to it again online. Weirdly, the online version is slightly longer than the version that went out on t'radio.
1. While I have some doubts about Alicia Vikander playing the role of Lara Croft, the new Tomb raider film looks quite good (so far) and to me presents one of the more convincing opportunities for a female-led action film franchise.
I sometimes wonder if people forget that the original Tomb Raider games were really good - for their time at least. The popularity of Lady Croft came to overshadow the games after a while and harmed them for a time. Can you think of any other examples of a game's main character becoming too popular?
2. What was your favourite 'point-and-click' adventure game and to what extent do you feel that Quantic Dream's games are the modern embodiment of them?
3. This might not be the place for it, but I'd like to praise Mr Glyn Heaviside for his tireless contributions to the Brannigan's Vortex group. From posting updates to checking my highly-questionable Russian translations, he is a big part of why the group is busier than ever. The success so far of Found Footage is also, in part, due to the effort he puts in to keep people involved in the story line.
4. After having had some time to play it, I feel that so far Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle is neck-and-neck in the running for my game of the year with Horizon. The game is remarkably challenging as it progresses but never feels unfair.
Adding to this some superb art design, animation and music, which is augmented by some genuinely funny moments makes for a truly enjoyable experience. I cannot remember a combination that seems so unlikely turn out to be so successful and if this doesn't make Nintendo allow more outsourcing then nothing will. Have you tried it yet?
And when poor old James Cameron says as much he gets vilified. Man, it drives me insane the way a narrative gets locked in, and if you dare to question it you get torn apart. Classic Emperor's New Clothes stuff. Have your own opinions, for pity's sake! Stop adopting a hive identity!
Sorry, what was the question again?
2. I really liked Broken Sword, but I've found the Quantic Dreams games to be a bit tedious.
3. Yes, hat off to Glyn for his tireless enthusiasm and optimism.
4. No, alas, haven't tried it yet. Once FF I done I shall be catching up with all this stuff. Once I have money again.
I'll admit, I'm rubbish at finding the hidden secrets in Found Footage. If I'm honest I'm not even trying really, I'm just watching it and enjoying it. Every episode, for me, had improved on the last.
One question though, does the "Do you remember" segment take it's name through inspiration of the Marillion song "Kayleigh" ? .
I've tried getting my Girlfriend and kids to film "I am Goujohn John" type clips to try and start a trend on Twitter a la Harlem Shake, so far they're not having it, but I'll keep working on them.
Finally, is there any chance you could put a link to Digi's main page on your Twitter account again please? Hope this doesn't seem cheeky,
And no - the Kayleigh thing hadn't even occurred to me! Oh well.
Also: the link to Digi is on my Twitter profile! I don't remember ever taking it off...