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THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

8/7/2016

8 Comments

 
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Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday (letters).

In a little over a week we've sold more than two-thirds of tickets for Block Party 2016: The Teletext & Digitiser Festival. If you're still on the fence about coming to the October 1st event - don't dally or dither like a silly... they're really not going to last forever.

Plus you'll be missing out on a once-in-a-lifetime evening of Digitiser-related lunacy. Where we'll also be unveiling the first BRAND NEW edition of classic Digitiser in over 13 years - among many, many other treats. Further details and tickets here.

​Sadly, our all-day tickets have sold out - so there are only evening tickets left.

However... as the ticket also gives you access to the Centre for Computing History - and its many, many retro gaming treats - you will be able to use it to get in during the day, and still make use of our drop-in teletext workshops. And best of all: tickets are only £10!
RUDE
I'm a right nosey bastard, and for that reason alone I feel compelled to ask you the following question. What was your favourite (and least favourite) games mag of yesteryear and why?
Dr Dagless
As nosey questions go, I've had worse. Your Sinclair I had a big soft spot for - and though it wasn't conscious, I'm sure it had an influence on Digi's irreverence. I wish I'd read Amiga Power, as everything I've heard about it since suggests it was great.

​I don't know if I had a worst mag - I mean, you just stop reading if you don't like something, right? But I did have a deep and abiding suspicion of any magazine that was "official". Though that might've been born out of jealousy.
DUDE
If you could give any videogame character any piece of advice, who would it be and what would you say to them?
Stuart Lindsay
Yes, Robert. I would advise dear Sonic to die with grace. Now press reveal. There are some snakes here to see you:
REVEAL:
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BUDE
Given Nintendo's stubborn pursuit of innovation and gimmicks, do they have much of a future if they continue to ostracise 3rd party developers and AAA titles?
Nin
I read a thing yesterday which suggests Nintendo could step into a family-friendly cranny that's being ignored by other games firms. Which it might do. And if that niche works for them... then good. It's pretty apparent that Nintendo doesn't see itself aligned with the likes of Sony and Microsoft - and given how interchangeable the Xbox One and PS4 are, that might be to its benefit.
EXUDE
I should like to vent my rage that, amidst all of the cinematic adaptations we have had of games over the years (such celluloid ribbons of dreams as 'Street Fighter', 'Mario Bros', 'Alone in the Dark' and many many more) no-one ever had the nous and enterprise to snap up CodeMasters' games for a series of movies.  

I mean, even if it were Ewe Boll, and he messed up and changed everything so that we got C.J.s Elephant Antics starring Christian Slater fighting terrorists in Paris, or Blinky's Scary School with Natassia Malthe and lesbian ghosts, or Michael Pare in Dizzy Down the Rapids - it would have been something.

I've never been so incensed since you made the claim that Velma from Scooby-Doo was going to replace Paul McGann as Doctor Who and cruel reality made it fail to happen.  What's wrong with the world, man?
Claude 'Claude' Lazarou.
Press reveal to see if The Snakes have anything to say about that:
REVEAL:
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INTRUDE
For the new teletext style pages you seem to be doing, what sort of hardware/software gubbins is being used? I can't think the old stuff is functional.
​Ralph Chilton
Get a load of this, Wiggum: it's a web browser thing and you can find it here so that you may do your own tell-o-techts. Press reveal to see the sort of amazing graphics you could produce: 
REVEAL:
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GERTRUDE
1 - What would you consider to be the best arcade game ever made, or at least the one that you enjoyed the most? I look at it from the point-of-view of an experience that is best in the arcade, rather than on home systems. 

2 - To what extent do you feel that the success of VR in computer games depends on distinct experiences? Do you see any likelihood of VR one day being the default presentation style for games or is it more likely to be an alternative (regardless of how popular it becomes)?

3 - What games have you enjoyed and/or rated highly that just seemed to vanish from the gaming public's consciousness and that few would remember now? 

4 - I was happy to see the availability of Primal on PS4. I couldn't really call it a classic game, but I liked it a lot at the time and feel that it had potential to become a great series. In particular the voice acting was excellent - what games have had the best voice acting, in your opinion?
John Whyte
1 - I suppose it's hard to say what's "best", as it's so subjective. The original Star Wars arcade game is probably my favourite. Particularly the sit-down cabinet version.

2 - I think it's entirely down to distinct, unique, experiences, and no... I can't see it ever becoming the main presentation style for games. It's just too unwieldy, and sense-depriving.

3 - Hmm. LucasArts' Outlaws - a Wild West FPS - I really liked. And I was thinking the other day about Hexen and Heretic, which nobody seems to talk about anymore. They were good.

​4 - The Last of Us is pretty damn remarkable.

​5 - Press reveal.
REVEAL:
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ERMINTRUDE
I must warn your readers to take extra care when ordering food from various online services.

Recently, I found myself taking delivery of several tonnes of polished stone slabs, a number of Corinthian columns carved in finest Carrara marble, and some decorative fountains based on mythological pastoral scenes. It seems that in my haste for a "four seasons" delivered by moped, I had mistakenly ordered a piazza instead.
Paul Dunning
Always end on a joke. Press reveal to receive your award.
REVEAL:
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THE MAN'S DADDY
Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. You've probably seen one of my shows. And by 'show' I mean 'standing behind a low hedge, exposing myself to passers-by'.

Here are some great jokes I wrote. Well, I hope they're great. Who knows? Anyway. Hope you like them, yeah? Ok. Bye. Bye then. Yeah, bye.


QUESTION: Who is Humpty Dumpty?
ANSWER: You.

QUESTION: Why does Captain America carry a shield?
ANSWER: He thinks it makes him look cool.

QUESTION: What is the meaning of life?
ANSWER: The condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally. 

QUESTION:
Why do cows make milk?
ANSWER: Just to have something to do.

BLOCK PARTY: THE DIGITISER & TELETEXT FESTIVAL! OCTOBER 1st 2016 - TICKETS ONLY £10!
​

BUY THEM HERE!​
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8 Comments
Tinker's Cuss
8/7/2016 11:32:51 am

Ah, Outlaws. I think that did reloading guns and a sniper rifle before Goldeneye popped along to make them all popular and that. I did enjoy fanning the hammer in that game (oooh, matron!).

"Where are ya, Marshal?"

Reply
Dr Kank
8/7/2016 01:57:33 pm

No Amiga Power for you, Mr Biffo. Not after all those bad things you said about the Amiga.

Reply
RetroResolution link
8/7/2016 02:38:18 pm

I'll readily admit to having taken an emotional battering during recent months, which may explain why the sight of one of the snakes blanking his erstwhile friend disturbed me terribly.

Has 'blanker' snake become rich and successful, whilst 'cussy' now lives 'round by the bins?

Reply
David W
8/7/2016 06:57:30 pm

Possibly the natural progression from Snake City (see Bubblegun), where 'blanker' went to college then started listening to Radiohead. It was all rather bleak and cutting.

Reply
RetroResolution link
8/7/2016 07:58:57 pm

Wow, I'd completely forgotten about the snakes on Bubblegun - can't recall how many years ago I saw those cartoons. Thanks!

Chris
9/7/2016 10:29:50 am

"Blanker", given he calls himself "Vegan Snake", appears to have gone a bit hipster.

Also: the Twitter account @OffSnake actually exists, but I don't think Biffo is behind it.

Carp
8/7/2016 08:56:46 pm

These are all actual letters. Where are all the "sing-johnnies" this week?

Reply
Tim Bresnan's Heavy Ball
9/7/2016 01:14:23 am

I'm glad that the snakes are back. They made me laugh back in my younger days.

And for those who want to see the previous two sentence without any spaces:

I'mgladthatthesnakesareback.Theymademelaughbackinmyyoungerdays.

Reply



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