Apparently, it's called Black Friday because it's the day that retailer balance sheets get back into the black.
You might know that already, and if all I've done here is just restate the obvious then, well, I'm very sorry for wasting your time.
I know: why don't you send me an email telling me what I should've done differently and pointing out where I went wrong, which is the sort of thing that now seems to make up the bulk of correspondence I receive these days. Well, that and people taking this comically curmudgeonly persona at face value. Though there's always some truth in comedy isn't there? Or is there? I guess you'll never know.
Anyway. Let's have some letters shall we?
If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails early to this place here: firstname.lastname@example.org
You need to celebrate 25 years with all-new Digi Teletext pages. Hundreds of them. On the web. On Channel 4. On your face.
Aside from that, some sort of 'event' at the video games place in Nottingham? This is basically because I want an excuse to go; despite living in Notts for 2-3 years, you can't take the Yorkshire out of the boy, and I'll be buggered if I'm paying a tenner to queue for a go on Out Run or something. So that.
Oh, and pixel art of spunking cocks, obviously.
My daughter went to uni there, and said she heard machine guns one night. Though that sounds like it might be a lie, I've just looked it up and apparently Nottingham was the most dangerous city in the UK at the point she lived there, and was known as "Shottingham" for its high levels of gun crime. You can probably blame local "hero" Robin Hood for glamorising criminal activity.
I just took a look outside to see which way the wind blows. But I blew off. And while doing a chuff I wondered. THIS.
I always loved "Ring Sir".
With the advent of the Youtubes perhaps you could do some Ring Sirs and record the Ring Sirs and post the Ring Sirs?
That would be "Mega-Ace and rad and cool and WELL skill" as the groovier kids are fond of saying.
And, frankly, that would put me so firmly in the same ballpark as those godawful "social experiment" douchebags on YouTube that there's no way I'm doing it.
What is your view on the continual Steam sales, Humble Bundles, GOG.com sales? I think they are great at first. You stock up on loads of games, get all the games you wanted as a kid, you play some and maybe finish one or two. Then you sit back and notice you have 200 games and not enough time to play most of them. So 80% just sit there gathering digital dust.
The Porridge Master
Inexplicably, this is my first ever letter to Digi. So obviously I choose to waste it thus: having just bought the first Windows PC I've owned in yonks, and found it has enough oomph to run some recent games in a half-decent fashion, I coughed up for EA Origin and downloaded Mass Effect: Andromeda. I'm enjoying the shooty/exploring stuff, but get reduced to disbelief-shattering hysterics whenever a cutscene comes up because the face models are so absurdly awful.
I know all the reviews at the time covered this so it's hardly a revelation, but until you see it you can't quite appreciate how daft it is or that it hasn't been fixed - let alone the fact they let it go out like this. It's as if the new Star Wars film had been shot entirely with the actors replaced with turkey slice-covered mannequins.
Have there been any games you've played where there has been something so utterly stupid in it, it's turned an allegedly normal game into unintentional comedy gold?
Hail Xenoxxx etc.
Super Bad Advice
I’m not feeling very wordy today, so instead here’s a picture of my compositional technique.
A strong theme in Digiworld this week has been that one can put a load of creative effort into something and have it receive nearly no attention, whilst a thoughtless, banal, offhand (and perhaps off-brand) aside goes viral. This leads to an understandable indignation in the self-defined creative, who will feel that their true artistic intents are not being appreciated and that people are far more readily entertained by cheap jokes.
If we recognise how prevailing this experience is, and if we judge art by its popularity (and why not?), then perhaps the product with true artistic value IS that shoddy stuff. Assess the creative history of some artists and you can see the point at which they learned this lesson. Perhaps Will.i.am is the true genius of our times.
Go to The Tate Modern and try telling me that a) A six year-old couldn't come up with half that stuff, and b) The artists aren't taking the piss. There are millions of brilliant artists out there who are doing good pictures and that - posting them on Twitter, or Facebook, or just keeping their work to themselves - but they aren't so up-themselves as to apply to it a degree of "meaning" and value, just because they've decided that somehow a Rubik's Cube in a bucket of horse urine somehow represents that time a pervert flashed at them from a bush.
At the same time, I think Found Footage is the closest I've ever come to creating something which might be considered "art", whereas something like Memory Assistant is just some stupid stuff. Albeit, occasionally - such as The Bullingdon Club appearing on the Bill Grundy Show post - there might be a hint of a deeper message.
Ultimately, I don't really know what I'm rambling on about here, but it seems a bit churlish to complain if something I've done proves popular, even if it did just take me a minute to do in Photoshop.
Do you think that the Human Orchard sketch on Found Footage has adequately prepared Iain Lee for jungle survival?
I kind of feel obliged to support him by following his I'm A Celeb stint, but I watched a bit last night and saw him sliding through a tunnel full of rotten meat while a bunch of non-entities shrieked and whooped - which, admittedly, isn't something that would be entirely out of place in Found Footage - and realised I didn't want to watch much more.
Years ago games were prohibitively expensive, gamers' collections were generally small, swapping was common place, piracy was rife. With the advent of services like Steam we're regularly bombarded with a wide range of super cheap, if not free, games.
So much so that they can pile up to the point where you've got more that you haven't played than you have.
I presently have over 200 in my Steam Library, about ten in my GOG account (I only tend to log into that to claim MORE freebies, but never actually play anything). Complete Sims 2 on Origin too.
We can't swap games any more, piracy certainly never appears on my radar these days (not to say that it's gone) but we generally don't need to do either.
How do you see this kind of market shift affecting the industry and moreover how do you feel it impacts gamers?
People want that spectacle. As fun as things like Spelunky or The Binding of Isaac are, they're never going to satisfy the same itch that something like Assassin's Creed: Origins does.
Admittedly, I may have missed your point entirely, given that I gave up using Steam over a year ago, due to favouriting a weak laptop over a powerful desktop PC, and I'm a bit distracted because I really need a wee.
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Though I've been busy working on the day job - seemingly with diminishing hope of renumeration - but I've managed the Patreon page very soon, taking all of this into account, and hopefully adding some new bonuses for backers. You can now support me for just $1 - or 70p - per month. Surely I'm worth at least that?
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