Attention! Normally here I'd be hounding you to buy your Digitiser Live ticket (over 300 sold, so I think it might actually happen that we sell out). Instead, I'm going to ask you to support the crowdfunding campaign for Paul Gannon's book, Ain't Afraid of No Ghost.
It's Gannon's life story through the prism of Ghosts and Ghostbusters, based upon the warm, funny, and deeply personal stand-up show which led him ultimately to becoming part of Digitiser. I wouldn't normally be this sincere when it comes to Gannon, but, well, it's Valentine's Day, I suppose.
And, also, I think he deserves the success. I may have made fun of him for his love of Ghostbusters, but his passion is genuinely kind of adorable. Crowdfund him!
If you want to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
It's Gannon's life story through the prism of Ghosts and Ghostbusters, based upon the warm, funny, and deeply personal stand-up show which led him ultimately to becoming part of Digitiser. I wouldn't normally be this sincere when it comes to Gannon, but, well, it's Valentine's Day, I suppose.
And, also, I think he deserves the success. I may have made fun of him for his love of Ghostbusters, but his passion is genuinely kind of adorable. Crowdfund him!
If you want to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
HE LIKES BEANS
Quick question for Beanus if that's alright.
Which is better; one really big bean or several normal-sized beans? This is for a thesis so try to answer as academically as possible.
Thank you.
Stuart Gipp
Quick question for Beanus if that's alright.
Which is better; one really big bean or several normal-sized beans? This is for a thesis so try to answer as academically as possible.
Thank you.
Stuart Gipp
Beanus does seem particularly focused on possessing one big bean, but the jury is out as to whether he has actually ever seen a bean as large as the one he's imagining.
Press reveal for some Valentine's Day love:
Press reveal for some Valentine's Day love:
REVEAL:
CUPID, DON'T HAVE A GO
Republique VR. I'm quite enjoying this. Have you had a go? What are your thoughts?
I'd not played any of the previous versions, so dunno how it compares, but all the snooping about through cameras in VR is a pretty good gimmick, makes up for all the sneaking the lady we have to rescue does.
Dixie Flatline
Republique VR. I'm quite enjoying this. Have you had a go? What are your thoughts?
I'd not played any of the previous versions, so dunno how it compares, but all the snooping about through cameras in VR is a pretty good gimmick, makes up for all the sneaking the lady we have to rescue does.
Dixie Flatline
I downloaded it ages ago... but I've not played it. I've not used my Oculus Quest for months and months now, in fact. I keep meaning to switch it back on, but VR still feels a bit of a novelty, rather than the way I want to play games.
SUCCESS VS FAILURE
Specifically regarding on-screen elements, what were the biggest success and relative failure for Found Footage and Digitiser? For the record I enjoyed both, especially Digitiser, but I'm curious as to what you feel worked and didn't, now that some time has passed.
John Whyte
Specifically regarding on-screen elements, what were the biggest success and relative failure for Found Footage and Digitiser? For the record I enjoyed both, especially Digitiser, but I'm curious as to what you feel worked and didn't, now that some time has passed.
John Whyte
It's hard to regard anything to do with either as a real failure, because I learned a lot from both. In that respect, the ropier bits were a success.
That said, I'd have liked the sound to have been better on some parts of Found Footage. It's pretty rough in places. There are some sequences I'd have cut, and I'd be a bit more disciplined with the editing in general. I was trying to give value for money for the backers, but in that I ignored that less is often more. Maybe the 'story' - such as it was - could've been clearer, but I liked not spelling it all out, and the sense of it being a puzzle for people to interpret as they saw fit.
Manorak is fun, but was never quite as slick as I wanted it to be. That said: speedboat! The Trojan Arse Protocol, for my money, is pretty damn perfect. As are the first few episodes.
Overall, I love it. It's very close to what I wanted it to be, and I don't think there has ever been anything else quite like it - a sci-fi story hidden inside a weird, messed-up, sketch show. Though perhaps I could've dialled back, slightly, on how increasingly impenetrable and challenging the later eps became. Dunno. I was kind fo deliberately daring people to stick with it.
I really struggled with everything on a technical level with Digitiser The Show - the editing, synching the sound, rendering... It was monumental trying to edit a professionally-shot, multicamera shoot like that, with so many different elements. Singlehandedly. Having never done it before. It gave me countless headaches, and I feel bad that my hamfistedness and inexperience didn't show in the best light all the great work done by the crew. All the flaws just jump out at me, and I hold myself responsible.
That's the main thing I'd go back and change. I'd like to re-edit the entire series, now that I know what I'm doing.
I also wish we'd gotten into episodes sooner. There were too many of us on the panel for the intros - and probably in general, which meant it was hard to give everybody enough to do. It would've benefitted from snapper starts.
I wish I'd listen to my gut a few times, and not tried so hard in the early part of the week's filming to make the show feel slick. I think some on the team were a bit taken aback by how I kind of lean into being ramshackle, and feel my way through things instinctively, so I felt pressure to reign in my excesses and be "professional".
I think the best sections are Show And Tell, when it's just me and one or two others talking about some old gaming tat. And I love all the end-of-show games. And anything that was just completely random and pointless. Ultimately... man... I still can't quite believe we made it. Given how little money and time we had, what we achieved was pretty damn remarkable.
That said, I'd have liked the sound to have been better on some parts of Found Footage. It's pretty rough in places. There are some sequences I'd have cut, and I'd be a bit more disciplined with the editing in general. I was trying to give value for money for the backers, but in that I ignored that less is often more. Maybe the 'story' - such as it was - could've been clearer, but I liked not spelling it all out, and the sense of it being a puzzle for people to interpret as they saw fit.
Manorak is fun, but was never quite as slick as I wanted it to be. That said: speedboat! The Trojan Arse Protocol, for my money, is pretty damn perfect. As are the first few episodes.
Overall, I love it. It's very close to what I wanted it to be, and I don't think there has ever been anything else quite like it - a sci-fi story hidden inside a weird, messed-up, sketch show. Though perhaps I could've dialled back, slightly, on how increasingly impenetrable and challenging the later eps became. Dunno. I was kind fo deliberately daring people to stick with it.
I really struggled with everything on a technical level with Digitiser The Show - the editing, synching the sound, rendering... It was monumental trying to edit a professionally-shot, multicamera shoot like that, with so many different elements. Singlehandedly. Having never done it before. It gave me countless headaches, and I feel bad that my hamfistedness and inexperience didn't show in the best light all the great work done by the crew. All the flaws just jump out at me, and I hold myself responsible.
That's the main thing I'd go back and change. I'd like to re-edit the entire series, now that I know what I'm doing.
I also wish we'd gotten into episodes sooner. There were too many of us on the panel for the intros - and probably in general, which meant it was hard to give everybody enough to do. It would've benefitted from snapper starts.
I wish I'd listen to my gut a few times, and not tried so hard in the early part of the week's filming to make the show feel slick. I think some on the team were a bit taken aback by how I kind of lean into being ramshackle, and feel my way through things instinctively, so I felt pressure to reign in my excesses and be "professional".
I think the best sections are Show And Tell, when it's just me and one or two others talking about some old gaming tat. And I love all the end-of-show games. And anything that was just completely random and pointless. Ultimately... man... I still can't quite believe we made it. Given how little money and time we had, what we achieved was pretty damn remarkable.
ANYONE FOR DENNIS?
Hello!
What're your feelings towards Dennis the Menace/Beano/Bash Street Kids etc? I recently acquired some copies of the Beano from 1970 and seeing Biffo the Bear on the front cover made me think of you for obvious reasons.
Chai
Hello!
What're your feelings towards Dennis the Menace/Beano/Bash Street Kids etc? I recently acquired some copies of the Beano from 1970 and seeing Biffo the Bear on the front cover made me think of you for obvious reasons.
Chai
I used to read them on and off. I tended to prefer the comics produced by IPC/Fleetway, like Whizzer And Chips, Whoopee, and - especially - Krazy. My favourite DC Thompson comic was The Topper, which my nan bought for me every week.
That had The Numskulls and Send For Kelly in it, and my absolute favourite, Danny's Tranny (about a boy with a magic transistor radio).
That said, The Beano had Bananaman, who I was always drawing pictures of. I was obsessed with his chin...
That had The Numskulls and Send For Kelly in it, and my absolute favourite, Danny's Tranny (about a boy with a magic transistor radio).
That said, The Beano had Bananaman, who I was always drawing pictures of. I was obsessed with his chin...
VALLO THERE!
'ullo,
What's the best Valentines gift you've ever received? Mine was a carrier bag full of old Viz comics she'd found at work. I was really chuffed, although I did feel a bit guilty that I'd only bought her a rather mediocre bracelet.
Also, how would you update Valentine's Day to make it more down with da kidz? For me, the solution involves soup. A LOT of soup.
Also, also. I've done a thing about love, so that's vaguely topical, I s'pose: https://youtu.be/xXkLfroZ7EA
TTFN!
dpd
'ullo,
What's the best Valentines gift you've ever received? Mine was a carrier bag full of old Viz comics she'd found at work. I was really chuffed, although I did feel a bit guilty that I'd only bought her a rather mediocre bracelet.
Also, how would you update Valentine's Day to make it more down with da kidz? For me, the solution involves soup. A LOT of soup.
Also, also. I've done a thing about love, so that's vaguely topical, I s'pose: https://youtu.be/xXkLfroZ7EA
TTFN!
dpd
I don't like how Barry White is pointing at me at the end of that video. I feel called-out.
Anyway.
Despite the fact that my wife and I say every year that we aren't going to bother with Valentine's gifts, we always end up doing them. This year I gave her some microwavable slippers, because she's always cold, and she gave me a tweed overnight bag full of sweets.
The best thing she ever gave me was a mystery box of gifts, which included a chocolate wrench. It was silver and everything. The same year I gave her some original art by the comedian and singer David Liebe Hart, who you might've seen on Time And Eric Awesome Show Great Job. She hates him.
In case you're wondering, it was a picture of an ostrich waggling his tongue in a salacious fashion.
Anyway.
Despite the fact that my wife and I say every year that we aren't going to bother with Valentine's gifts, we always end up doing them. This year I gave her some microwavable slippers, because she's always cold, and she gave me a tweed overnight bag full of sweets.
The best thing she ever gave me was a mystery box of gifts, which included a chocolate wrench. It was silver and everything. The same year I gave her some original art by the comedian and singer David Liebe Hart, who you might've seen on Time And Eric Awesome Show Great Job. She hates him.
In case you're wondering, it was a picture of an ostrich waggling his tongue in a salacious fashion.
MATH
How did the mathematician justify their awful behaviour after sunbathing?
SIN COS TAN
Thank you, this is the greatest thing I have ever written.
Nikki
How did the mathematician justify their awful behaviour after sunbathing?
SIN COS TAN
Thank you, this is the greatest thing I have ever written.
Nikki
Maths then. I'm sure this is really funny, but might've worked on me better if I didn't have an aneurysm when I so much as think about maths.
GAMES FOR LOVERS
Happy Love Day Biffo!
Why do birds suddenly appear when you are near? But anyway, as it's the day of two hearts becoming one: which are the best games for couples to play to celebrate their romance after a good meal?
I can imagine that they would like to share a bit of Mario Kart or Call of Duty to get the love juice flowing between each other.
But after seeing your Love Tester video, does it mean that people will want to put their joypads into a bowl to swap the consoles they want to play?
Perhaps in the end, Dear Deirdre could help them out with a photo story of love. More joysticks wagging than tongues, as the curtains twitch away at the activities going on within, or that games can be used for virtual blind dates with a Robo-Cilla refurbished with strip lights and a Graham Skidmore wearing a Jaffa Cake coloured suit saying "Will it be a big number two who likes collecting popcorn makers and the albums of Richard O'Sullivan.."
Tales of the Sonicspective with Dr Robotnik dancing in silloutte for all the fine girls and boys at the Dark Room Disco, St. Dawdles
Lots of love,
Bob Monkhouse Swellings Balls Charlie Normal Vaughan, Nationwide Love Tester (Park Royal Branch)
Happy Love Day Biffo!
Why do birds suddenly appear when you are near? But anyway, as it's the day of two hearts becoming one: which are the best games for couples to play to celebrate their romance after a good meal?
I can imagine that they would like to share a bit of Mario Kart or Call of Duty to get the love juice flowing between each other.
But after seeing your Love Tester video, does it mean that people will want to put their joypads into a bowl to swap the consoles they want to play?
Perhaps in the end, Dear Deirdre could help them out with a photo story of love. More joysticks wagging than tongues, as the curtains twitch away at the activities going on within, or that games can be used for virtual blind dates with a Robo-Cilla refurbished with strip lights and a Graham Skidmore wearing a Jaffa Cake coloured suit saying "Will it be a big number two who likes collecting popcorn makers and the albums of Richard O'Sullivan.."
Tales of the Sonicspective with Dr Robotnik dancing in silloutte for all the fine girls and boys at the Dark Room Disco, St. Dawdles
Lots of love,
Bob Monkhouse Swellings Balls Charlie Normal Vaughan, Nationwide Love Tester (Park Royal Branch)
I don't think it's a good idea for either my wife or I to play games together, given that the one time we did we had a big argument over Snipperclips on the Switch. I wouldn't wish to inflict that upon anybody.
Well, I say argument. We bickered, then sulked.
Well, I say argument. We bickered, then sulked.
SEAT THE RICH
Hello, I hope that you are well. Just a quick question about this year's live event, will there be assigned seating, or do you simply find any seat?
I am absolutely fine with anything, just curious.
John
Hello, I hope that you are well. Just a quick question about this year's live event, will there be assigned seating, or do you simply find any seat?
I am absolutely fine with anything, just curious.
John
Not sure if this was intended to be a Friday Letter, John, but I thought I'd publish it here in case anybody else was wondering. There are no allocated seats, same as last year. I know some people will absolutely not want to sit at the front, so this gives them the choice of choosing where they sit.
LEGLESS
Imagine you lost your legs in a tragic accident (or an awesome one- maybe there were lightsabers or mutant land sharks involved). A scientist approaches you and offers you two things: exact replicas of your old legs, with the same amount of wear and tear as they had pre accident.
Or special cyber legs, that look obviously robotty, but have loads of cool abilities. You can run 80mph and never tire; you can jump over The Shard and land safely; there’s a drink dispenser in your thigh; even a little flame thrower in your knee cap to ward off wasps, famished badgers or teenage guttersnipes; they can turn into wheels and automatically steer you home when drunk or sleepy; perhaps even an immediate air bag for any potential collisions with your nethers.
They’ll never break, don’t require any fuel outside the usual human methods; and they come in glorious chrome.
Would you take old legs or cyber legs?
Really enjoying the latest videos, especially the middle aged one about the cheese, and very much looking forward to Digitiser Live 2.0.
J is Manchild Tunbridge Wells
Imagine you lost your legs in a tragic accident (or an awesome one- maybe there were lightsabers or mutant land sharks involved). A scientist approaches you and offers you two things: exact replicas of your old legs, with the same amount of wear and tear as they had pre accident.
Or special cyber legs, that look obviously robotty, but have loads of cool abilities. You can run 80mph and never tire; you can jump over The Shard and land safely; there’s a drink dispenser in your thigh; even a little flame thrower in your knee cap to ward off wasps, famished badgers or teenage guttersnipes; they can turn into wheels and automatically steer you home when drunk or sleepy; perhaps even an immediate air bag for any potential collisions with your nethers.
They’ll never break, don’t require any fuel outside the usual human methods; and they come in glorious chrome.
Would you take old legs or cyber legs?
Really enjoying the latest videos, especially the middle aged one about the cheese, and very much looking forward to Digitiser Live 2.0.
J is Manchild Tunbridge Wells
That's tough. I'm assuming the cyber legs wouldn't look like normal legs? Would they be able to, uh, feel things like normal legs can? Would they be big and metallic? I dunno, man. I mean, my knees are shot, but - tempting as it might be to be able to walk to the shops without complaining - I think I'd prefer to stay fleshy.
JOIN OUR CLUB
Dear Mr Biffo. Regarding an early 80's advert for Jacob's Club bars, do you know if any form of scientific research was carried out to verify that 'Everyone lubs a Club'?
Ta,
Steve
Dear Mr Biffo. Regarding an early 80's advert for Jacob's Club bars, do you know if any form of scientific research was carried out to verify that 'Everyone lubs a Club'?
Ta,
Steve
Press reveal to see an advert for Club biscuits which might explain.
REVEAL:
VIZVISECTION
What do you think about Viz magazine? While it was genuinely mainstream at one point, the magazine is probably destined to be a niche publication.
To me, at its best, Viz is one of the funniest things that money can buy. It's one of the few things in written form, along with your writing, that makes me laugh regularly.
The hit-to-miss ratio isn't always great, and when reading it, there is an inescapable confusion over whether it is really clever or really, really stupid. It seems impossible to deny its influence on British comedy, but quantifying that influence is much harder. How would you view it?
Also on the subject of comedy, even when I was a child, a healthy (unhealthy?) proportion of television comedians/comic actors were former members of the Cambridge Footlights or the Oxford Revue. It might be my imagination, but the proportion seems higher today than in the past, even if the performers themselves are less 'posh' than in the past.
In your experience of TV comedy, how important is it to have been a member of either troupe and do you feel that your work would have been received differently if you had been a member?
John Whyte
What do you think about Viz magazine? While it was genuinely mainstream at one point, the magazine is probably destined to be a niche publication.
To me, at its best, Viz is one of the funniest things that money can buy. It's one of the few things in written form, along with your writing, that makes me laugh regularly.
The hit-to-miss ratio isn't always great, and when reading it, there is an inescapable confusion over whether it is really clever or really, really stupid. It seems impossible to deny its influence on British comedy, but quantifying that influence is much harder. How would you view it?
Also on the subject of comedy, even when I was a child, a healthy (unhealthy?) proportion of television comedians/comic actors were former members of the Cambridge Footlights or the Oxford Revue. It might be my imagination, but the proportion seems higher today than in the past, even if the performers themselves are less 'posh' than in the past.
In your experience of TV comedy, how important is it to have been a member of either troupe and do you feel that your work would have been received differently if you had been a member?
John Whyte
I'm a Viz subscriber! I dunno about its influence. I don't tend to think of it like that. I just enjoy that it remains kind of... stupidly clever. That said, I do miss the really scrappy nature of their really early strips. My favourite being Fox In A Box.
I did feel a bit weird when, a few years back, they started doing jokes that used The Man's Daddy format of making a terrible pun, and then putting the real word in brackets afterwards.
But that's okay.
My favourite parts are the Letterbocks/Top Tips, the Drunken Bakers, the bad puns, anything by Davey Jones, and the fake ads. I'd say they'd been an influence on Digi's own fake ads, but I think we can all trace back to a common ancestor, namely the Monty Python books of the 70s.
Weirdly, both Drunken Bakers writer Barney Farmer and Davy Jones follow me on Twitter. As does Christina Martin, who long-term Viz readers will know as a letters page regular. I've never felt brave enough to ask any of them why.
This is probably my favourite all-time Viz strip, mainly for this: "Suddenly, Bill started hacking at the bottom of the boat with a claw hammer."
"Ha ha! Go for it, dad!"
But that's okay.
My favourite parts are the Letterbocks/Top Tips, the Drunken Bakers, the bad puns, anything by Davey Jones, and the fake ads. I'd say they'd been an influence on Digi's own fake ads, but I think we can all trace back to a common ancestor, namely the Monty Python books of the 70s.
Weirdly, both Drunken Bakers writer Barney Farmer and Davy Jones follow me on Twitter. As does Christina Martin, who long-term Viz readers will know as a letters page regular. I've never felt brave enough to ask any of them why.
This is probably my favourite all-time Viz strip, mainly for this: "Suddenly, Bill started hacking at the bottom of the boat with a claw hammer."
"Ha ha! Go for it, dad!"
THE FACT BIRD
Move over, Creamy Eric. We want more Ovo with his silent knowledge. I apologize profusely, but maybe Paul will appreciate more material for his... bank. Love the show. Would love more Ovo and Fat Sow as well.
~A viewer
PS. The view count has nothing to do with popularity, exposure is a direct and uncontrollable result of the Youtube algorithm. All jokes aside, a lot of people really do enjoy what y'all are doing. Thanks for the laughs.
~A viewer
PS. The view count has nothing to do with popularity, exposure is a direct and uncontrollable result of the Youtube algorithm. All jokes aside, a lot of people really do enjoy what y'all are doing. Thanks for the laughs.
Well, that's a truly profound mix of the horrific and the artistically accomplished. I can only thank you for pixellating the image. Slightly. Ovo will be back. I mean, he hasn't attacked Gannon yet, and I think we all want to see that.
REVEAL:
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