One of the absolute highlights was Digi Live, and the success of it has convinced me that going forward I'm going to focus more on the things I love doing most. And that will, hopefully, include more live stuff. We're still working out what exactly that'll be, though, but watch this space. One way or another we'll find a way to get everyone together again, and bring some new people along.
Of course, this was also the year that the Digi Minis began - spilling out of Digitiser The Show - and I've loved doing them. I'm kind of in love with doing them, and I think it shows in the episodes. Gannon, Sanya and I have no plans to stop - it feels like we're just getting going - and next year I want us to build on what's already a very solid foundation.
There's so much I do want to do - and at my age, I feel like I'm making up for lost time somewhat - but it has to become a question of being able to take the time to afford to do it all. I'll work it out somehow.
Anyhow, just a reminder that Beanus Likes Christmas Beans is available now on Amazon, iTunes and Spotify. There's no chance of us getting in the Christmas charts, but please buy it if you can, as all proceeds go to Mind. Plus, it's a great song! I'm not bothering with a link. You can work it out. You're not stupid, probably.
If you want to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails to this place here: email@example.com
Hello Montgomery Bift,
A suggestion for a future Digi Mini - Fat Sow's Noodle Review. The tension within the suit as Eli battles between his usual Sow outbursts, and the need to display appropriate levels of decorum towards a high amplitude Indomie 3-packer, could be absolutely heartbreaking. Could possibly even include pimpage with a certain legume?
Looking forward to the Xmas special, hope you and yours have a very happy bean-mas!
Voiced by Guides
I'm in the latest one btw. Listen to this: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-158-a-cheapshow-carol
Do you remember when it was alright in the 70's and the Christmas Charts was full of novelty singles? The best that Tin Can Alley could offer the public during the festive season.
Those Christmas hits which included 'Funky' Felix Bownesssss, singing The Plumber and the Fine Fare Checkout Girl. Also Patrick Mower's 'Its a fine Christmas for Goosing', plus also Ed Stewart warbling 'The Ballard of Crackery-O-Jack' singing lewd songs after drinking a thirteen year old malt whiskey as an aperture to an elfin fairy.
While all the we munched on Terry Scott's Curly Wurly whilst watching a ten year old cartoon from Liechtenstein featuring the voices of The Nolans without Colleen, but replaced by Paul Shaned and also Sir Lord Provost Harry "What, what, what!" Secombe as Mr Kipling in an adoption of Charles Dickens' Old Treacle Tart and The Gunwharf Sailors about his young son Ismael Martin Brundle with his struggles to learn engineering principles of Downforce.
Haappy Beans to you and all who sail in within, darling!
Very Petting Officer
Roberto Jobbins R.N. (Retired) Former Captain of HMS Cuthred and Michael Rodd enthusiast
I saw Crackerjack, The Basil Brush Show, and - uh-oh- a Christmas edition of Jim'll Fix It. Having done some research, I can tell you it was the episode that went out on Boxing Day 1978. I later wrote in to the show asking if Jim could fix it for me to become a clown.
Read into that what you will.
We’ve had some quality games in the last decade, including games like GTA V, Witcher 3 & so many more, what are some of your highlights? Looking forward to seeing what 2020 and beyond will bring!
Anyway... off the top of my head, the following all piqued my pips: home VR actually becoming a practical reality, streamin/gcloud-based gaming being born, the Switch, Superhot for making me feel like a real action hero,...
The Last of Us for making me care about game characters, Titanfall 2 for getting so close to emulating the variety-box-shooter genius of Half-Life 2, Journey for staying with me long after I finished it, The Stanley Parable for the way it questioned freedom of choice in games and beyond, Peggle 2 for making me a slave to micro transactions... those are just off the top of my head.
Also loved a lot of open world nonsense; Assassin's Creed Odyssey, Red Dead 2, et al.
And those were the 2010s, everyone!
Was Bill Stickers ever prosecuted and if so what for?
This year has had its ups and downs, but I think the ups outweigh the downs, even though some of the downs have been quite deep.
I'm looking forward to Animal Crossing on the Switch next year.
HAVE A LOVELY CHRISTMAS AND A DIRTY POO YEAR.
With the Xmas season upon us I was thinking about the gifts of games consoles and computers I received over the years, until I was of age where I had to purchase them myself. We weren’t well off so I had to sell the previous before I was allowed the next.
1987: Atari 2600
1989: Spectrum +2A
1990: Master System
1992: Mega Drive
1993: Amiga 1200
Amongst this I had a SNES (although I can’t remember how I got it). And I kept my Amiga until the late 90s when I finally bought a PC.
I didn’t buy another console until the PS2 in 2001. I became a little bored of the way 3D was being forced on people during the PSX era, even if the game was rubbish. e.g. Lemmings 3D, Bubsy 3D etc.
Merry Xmas, Paul, have a very good one. And keep making us laugh x
I had my Speccy, then got a Spectrum+ a few Christmases later, then an Atari ST - and shortly after that I got a job, and bought a Master System. We did have an Atari VCS before all that - possibly second-hand (a lot of our stuff was second-hand) - and a Binatone before that, but I've no memory of receiving them. They were more things the family owned, rather than mine.
As people will be reading this, most likely I will be making the long 5 hour journey back to Skye for Christmas break, after a stressful first semester of uni, filled with assessments, proteomic data, and scientific literature.
Speaking of Christmas, the Digi Christmas special was definitely something! I was equal parts confused, and in tears laughing!
#ChristmasBeansBeanusLikes (yes I have that part stuck in my head too)
Hope yourselves, and everyone reading this, have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year! Or as they say in the Highlands, Nollaig Chridheil agus Bliadhna Mhath Ùr!
Thought I'd update you quickly on the state of the pith, they've changed the oranges at work now and these ones are nowhere near as bad as before.
Anyway, back to polishing my tins.
Merry Christmas :)
Last time I wrote I accidentally got you (semi) miffed, so soz. But you can't go wrong with some christmas cracker jokes!
- What does Santa do on his day off? Pulls MAD wheelies on his BMX.
- What do you call a snowman in the summer? Snowmen aren't real.
- What goes ho ho ho bonk? Everyone eventually.
- What do Rudolf, Blitzen and Donnar have in common? They were all prison guards at Stalag 17.
- Who would win in a fight between Jesus and Santa? We'd all be winners!
I predict you'll like 2/5th of these.
Have a good one,
Not wanting to dampen the mood, but this year has been a bit rubbish and I'll be glad to see the back of it. Nevermind the ongoing collapse of society as we know it; a long series of minor medical problems has left me exhausted and in desperate need of a proper break.
But, it's not all bad! Amidst the shite storm, I can think of at least two bright spots that you're directly responsible for. One (obviously) was Digi Live. An absolute triumph of joyful stupidity.
The other is a little more personal. Digi has been part of my daily routine for more years than I'd rather think about. My other half has always been aware of Digi, but was never really an active consumer.
Sometime in the past year, one of your videos piqued her interest. Probably the one where you set your hair on fire. There has been no looking back... Now, just as I used to read to Digi with my breakfast in the 90's, we now watch Digi together with our Sunday dinner. Digi is no longer part of my routine, it's part of our routine.
It might sound like a small thing, but it really isn't. It's the kind of nonsense that relationships are built on. A foundation stone with "Beanus likes beans" engraved on it.
We were both disappointed when you went down to one video a week (don't worry, we understand!). We may only contribute one view, but it's worth two. And who knows how many stadiums in China are packed out with eager, though unaccountable, viewers?
So, just wanted to say, thanks for all the joy you've bought us this year and Merry Christmas to you, Mrs Biffo, Gannon and everyone at Team Digi! I sincerely hope that the new year is everything you hope it will be. Fingers crossed, it'll be a good one!
That said, this week you've had three videos - or four if you count the one I put up on the Digi second channel. Five if you include the deleted scene from the Christmas special that I'll be sharing with the Patrons in the next couple of days...
Astonishingly, this time it hasn't even lost us subscribers, like it used to whenever we put a new one out.
Hi Mr. Biffo,
As you may recall on Twitter I informed you of a disturbing presence in my father's house. Having observed this threat (while equipping myself with a plastic spatula and pan lid in case things got messy) I was able to capture the following malicious act on camera.
Merry Christmas to you and Mrs. Biffo!
Mr. S and Mr. J (the wife)
Beanus Likes Christmas Beans was unexpectedly challenging. After the initial McCartney-baiting, I was expecting a lewd, discordant pile-up which never arrived. I shall be writing to my MP etc.
Then I thought, might CJJC's filth-free novelty smash be the next step towards Beanus getting his own children's television show next year?
Probably not, but it would be funny if your plans to do less scriptwriting were thwarted by your own creation.
Anyhow... I'm not sure how much further the Beanus train will travel, so there's no chance I'm making a Beanus kids' show. It was just meant to be a throwaway joke!
I flipping love the other stuff you do - not the Digitiser stuff (which is alright I suppose) but the other stuff.... Like seriously, this Xmas edition of digi... Just shows how incredibly genius the whole Found Footages is/are..... Can we have more please in the new year? Thanks xxx
Daph to the flippin b innit x
Plus, I just wanted to see if I could still do it, as it was two-and-a-half years ago now. I think I've still got it, but I do need to reinvent it slightly, I feel. The glitchy VHS style risks getting old if I don't. So, hopefully lots more of that next year.
Dear Mr Biffho-ho-ho,
Hope you don't mind but I'd like to use this week's letters page to say a massive thank you to everyone in the Digitiser community for making the world a better place over the past (often trying) year, especially those I had the joy of meet at Digi Live.
Special mention to Nikki and Bunty, the two most supportive, inclusive and caring people I know.
Love and kissy, kissy to each and every one of you.
To Mr Biffo
Here are the five best Christmas games –
1 - Christmas Nights Into Dreams
I haven’t played this one, but despite being on the Saturn people still talk about it so it must be good.
2 – The Official Father Christmas Game
I really, really doubt this is official.
3 – Moley Christmas
I’ve only just realised this is a pun on “Holy Christmas”. Or is it? I don’t know.
4 – Robocod
The music on this one was so good they put it on an advert about washing machines.
5 – Die Hard Trilogy
Happy Christmas to everyone! Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!
From Baxter Radical
Hhhhhhhhhello! As Digitiser 2000’s top semi-occasional contributor (website) and angel delight salesman, I thought I’d write a quick letter for once. Why yes, I am drunk.
Anyway, what would you like to see happen in gaming in the space year 2020 Mr B?
For me, I’d love for the renaissance in single-player story-driven titles to extend/expand like the swollen face of an allergic child to some sort of driving game that’s arcadey and fun, but without some awful Fast & Furious style plot shoehorned in. Let fun just be fun. That, and new Metroid.
Best wishes for the season! (Specifically, Easter)
Super Bad Advice
Also: thanks for all the words this year, SBD!
I've wanted to send something like this for a while. I love the show, the energy of the show. It's something we could really use more of. I had a topic in mind, but set it aside for something festive. I hate Christmas, so I couldn't think of anything at all. Then Star Wars came out.
Ah, Star Wars. I'd love to say you never disappoint me, but you must have at some point. Mr. Biffo was so passionate about Star Wars this week, it made me reflect on where mine had gone.
I went to see Force Awakens with a friend, partly because I was interested but partly because he didn't have anyone to go with and it sounded like a nice time. I didn't hate it or anything. It was okay. As the credits rolled it was just like...nothing. It left me wondering where my passion had gone. Is a larger problem? No, I'm still passionate about lots of things.
Was it the DISCOURSE? I'd love to say yes. But no, it hadn't started. Was it the prequels? That's a compelling hypothesis. Saying I hate them would be a stretch. Saying they were an enormous disappointment is probably more accurate. I used to go over in my head what I'd do to patch up the story.
Amusingly, I haven't found a way to do it that doesn't start with tossing Phantom Menace in the trash can. Was it the fans? Another decent guess. There's been a habit of missing the subtlety in the original films and filling out single sentences into an enormous amount of lore that proved exhausting. I have examples. I won't bore you.
It was just like waking up and finding out your roommate had moved out. You're not angry or sad. Not in peril, more just wondering where he went. I feel a thing where my passion used to be that rises up when I'm talking about those examples I mentioned, or thinking about the Tabletop RPG, which my friends and I had quite a lot of fun with.
I can't be bothered with the movies, though. After Force Awakens, Rogue One came out and...wow. There was more "I can't be bothered with this" with this movie than I ever felt before. I haven't seen it, or any of the rest.
I guess there's not much of a point to this letter. Sorry!
If anything, I'd love to tell people to try and look at the things you love from a different perspective sometimes. Don't let other people tell you how to feel. I think I might give it a few years, let everyone forget about them, and give it another chance.
After all the toys I bought and the hours of enjoyment the movies and games brought, I think I owe it at least that.
Yeah. I know.
Merry Christmas Mr Biffo!
What a year it’s been for you and the Digi family. We’re entering a new decade, incredibly Digi’s fourth, with it in particularly rude health. Who could possibly have seen that coming ten years ago?
Thanks for all you’ve given us this year - it’s been a full-on, constant procession of loveliness. From the unexpected gift of the Digi Minis, which now feel like an essential part of your media “melange”, to some real high-watermark posts on the site, and the unbridled joy of Digitiser Live, it’s been an absolute pleasure to follow along. It’s been memorable, that’s for sure.
Inspiring too. Seeing how things have grown, and the community that’s developed, has been something to be proud of. I certainly feel glad to be part of it - a special corner of the Internet where people are brilliant, and just get on. Thanks for being the ringleader of all of us weirdos!
All the bully best Christmas wishes to you, Sanya, and the family - and of course to Beanus for his chart placing. I hope you all have a thoroughly festive, relaxing time, and are ready for that super-sci-fi 2020 New Year and that. Hopefully it doesn’t involve any near-fatal car accidents.
It’s never dull following your “output”, and if one thing’s for sure, it’s that I can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store for us next.
Gawd bless ya, sir!
PS - How does Mr T feel about Christmas? It occurred to me that the erratic nature of bin collections, at a time when they’re especially overflowing anyway, must make him pretty stressed. Hopefully he’s not too apoplectic to enjoy himself at this time of year!
Press reveal for your Mr T:
Just dropping in to say Merry Christmas to you and the team, and all the best to you all for 2020! Who knows what the New Year holds for you all? But the Christmas Special was a great little epic, Sting's computer woe's are always fun, more please!! Oh, and I'm glad you liked the XL crisps, even if Gannon was indifferent to them.
Anyways, I was on Angry Birds on my phone a few weeks ago, and this ad came up, from your other job.
I never clicked anything, and the advert automatically thinks I'm Nate, but the description is pretty accurate, we could all learn something from Nate. But, good luck to you in your other day job and whatever you have planned next!
496) If wise men were to travel from the East to give a child three computer game-related gifts this Christmas, what should they be?
497) Have a game's ethics or morals ever changed your own opinions on any issue and if so, why? Personally, I find most games e.g. Uncharted to have very confusing morals but Deus Ex made me re-think my opinions on potential human augmentation, for example.
498) Have you ever particularly identified with a game character and if so, whom?
499) If platforms such as Stadia, XCloud and PlayStation Now become the default way to play games, will this kill of free-to-play games?
500) If you were to look back at your own computer game history, what one moment best represents what makes them special to you?
I would like to to say thank you for bringing back Digitiser five years ago and keeping the format evolving. I am genuinely grateful that you have published all of my letters over the last few years and I apologise wholeheartedly for clogging up the inbox, usually late on a Thursday night.
I wish you, your family and all Digitiser readers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year; I hope that 2020 brings you all that you are looking for.
God bless us, every one.
PS I went through many options to have a big finish, so to speak, for Q500, but that's terribly self-important for something so minor so I thought the best thing was to make it as normal as possible. I do realise that writing 500 (mostly) questions is hardly any special achievement but nevertheless, it has been a great pleasure for me.
497) I found a lot of Grand Theft Auto V so kind of morally repugnant that it did sort of entrench a lot of my feelings about certain issues. Similarly, I started to become uncomfortable with how Call of Duty started to seem like a Neo-Conservative wet dream. Can't think of any others!
498) Um... I always bang on about The Last of Us, but it can only really be Joel. Not least for his dress sense.
499) I don't see why it would. I mean, they could still offer free-to-play games.
500) There are two: the year I got a Wii, and it united my entire family one Christmas. I loved how the Wii made games accessible to people who wouldn't usually play games. And - again at Christmas - the year I got a GameBoy, and - again - my whole family were absolutely hooked on Tetris, taking turns to see who could get the most lines.
Thank you for all these questions, John. It was a herculean effort, and I've genuinely enjoyed our answering them all. I really looked forward to getting each week's batch. Maybe one day we could go for the thousand! Well done for not giving up. I would've done.
Anyhow, that's more or less it from me for Christmas. The Man's Daddy will be offering up his cut-out-and-use Christmas cracker jokes next week, but in terms of Digi content - either on here or on YouTube - that's yer lot for 2019.
Have a splendid one, everyone, and thanks for all the support. Buy the single.