This week, Patrons were treated to a whole deleted sequence from next week's Digi. Just $1 gets you early access and some posts, and $5 gets you all the blogs and stuff.
I have to say, I've been hugely gratified by the response to the first two eps of Digitiser Deluxe. If you've not seen them, it's very much an evolution for the channel, and I implore you to check them out. There's still all that Digi nonsense - Walrus Shoes! - but with a bit more focus. I mean, for the first time since Ashens was on we haven't lost subscribers when we've uploaded a video! Result.
If there's somebody you'd like to see as a guest on the show, please post suggestions below, or hassle them on Twitter to reach out to us. Ash and Sooz were a brilliant addition to the line-up, and we'd like more funny people in that vein.
If you're not already sick of my voice, having had two Digitiser videos in the space of a week, you can hear me drinking cocktails and discussing murder on the latest episode of the excellent Mystery on the Rocks podcast, with recent, and soon-to-be-again, Digi guest Sooz Kempner.
Gannon's bound-to-be-excellent ghosthunting autobiography still needs support in order to become a reality. You can do that here.
And, of course, there are still some tickets left for Digitiser Live. Don't miss out.
If you want to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails to this place here: email@example.com
Hi Mr Biffo, at the risk of sounding like the wettest blanket in the world I just thought I'd write to tell you how much you chaps made such a difference to my life the past few months! I genuinely look forward to Sundays for the first time ever!
My mental health has been at it's worst lately so anything to look forward to is a fabulous thing! I'd love to send some strange Irish food one day if it's possible! Is there any way I can write for an autograph from you guys as I'm afraid I'm too broke to travel over for the live show!
Again, thank you so much.
Drop us a line with your address to firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll sort you something out.
Crash zoom onto the keys of a Farfiser electric organ (middle C). Extravagantly bearded man, in robes, teasing a swirling, tear jerking, yet atonal symphony from the electronics within. Knee deep in dry ice the drummer, with red half lidded eyes, regards him while leaning across his tom-toms; tongue fiddling with the chewing tobacco that will speed him to a date with mouth cancer in 12 years time.
Languid track across the stage, oh look there's Silbury Hill in the background, they're doing this outside in a sort of midsummer mystical morning twilight.
The road crew are visible in the foreground, lots of denim and long hair, everybody is painfully thin.
Shot pans up, the red orb of the sun crests the horizon as the lead guitar joins with the organ... 20 minutes of sublime fret noodling followed by about 15 minutes of animalistic drum work... everybody ends up lying on the floor, hips bucking in ecstasy, releasing the musicality within. Drums collapse, lights burn out, mics are driven into speakers, guitars are hurled, organs thrown and inverted in a cacophony of sonic hedonism. It's as if somebody had worked out the meaning of existence, but could only express it through a combination of goose pimple key changes and flitting between 4/4 and 3/4 time.
"Dave, you set out to write some joke story about responding to an advert in the papers requiring an organist, but presenting as an onanist... in it you would clumsily shoe-horn in something relevant about Digi filling a Barshen's shaped hole, but this not being a bad thing or derivative because it will have your creative brain behind it. Hence, some doubts I've seen about people thinking you shouldn't do this, or criticising a lack of originality are unfounded. WTF is this sh*t?"
I was bored earlier so I decided to look up some stuff about that Rupert Bear creature. Whilst looking I came across this.
That monstrosity used to give me the proper fear as a child and, until now, I had managed to block it from my mind.
I'm scared to go to bed now...just imagine that weird thing, walking into your bedroom. Just imagine...imagine.
With that in mind I'm going to see if I can stop at a friend's house tonight. She's nearly equally scary but at least she's clean and doesn't look like some sort of blue beetroot or something.
To me, to me. All pay attention to me. I am a bus and you can have a ride on the bus if you pay. It's what happens when they nationalise you, dear. Let's all go down the strand, let's all go down the strand.
Jon "The Anti-Amstrad Loon" Clay
With the Met Office building a new weather supercomputer and with what we know of the plans of Mr S. Hussein and attempt to build a supercomputer himself...Which home computer of 80's could all be joined together to build a daisy chain to make a supercomputer?
Would a load of Dragon 32's make a heatwave? Perhaps the Amstrad CPC 464 would make a frosty wind which comes out of Lord Sourface's mush, meaning "You're Frozen" by it especially when your screen is frozen.
Personally I would pick the BBC Micro, with Fred 'Lovely Jumpers' Harris to introduce a weather programme for judging the amount of sunshine at a seaside resort to let the local tourist board know these results. But unfortunately it got pilfered to be used in Quark by a Mr Dic. Tator, head of the Seaton Carew tourist board to predict the weather for canoe tourists.
Wish you were here,
Trevor Baker's Dozen Tracy Barden Barden by the Sea
The question of whether we should separate the art from the artist is one that will never have a definitive answer. While thinking about this recently, I considered the related question of should we separate the performer from their material.
Several, admittedly contemporary, comedians emphasised Bernard Manning's ability as a comedian and raconteur, despite detesting his material. It goes without saying that I find 99% of it unfunny and offensive but I would find it hard to argue that he wasn't good at it.
I wonder perhaps if it is easier to separate performer from material than artist from art, but one could say instead that there is no real difference. In your experience in the arts, do you ever recognise someone's ability at something while absolutely disliking what they do?
Not sure about anyone I've witnessed first-hand, but the person I always refer to when this comes up is an artist who used to draw for 2000AD. I'm not mentioning names, but I loved his style - and even painted a mural of one of his characters on my bedroom wall when I was a teenager. I follow him on Twitter, and was disappointed that his views on there often seem to be at the more extreme end of right wing. It made me feel very conflicted for a while - and I'm still disappointed - but I continue to follow him.
Indeed, I follow a few people on Twitter whose opinions and beliefs I disagree with in the strongest way possible, but I do think it's important not to live entirely in a bubble. Arguing with people over moral or political issues doesn't seem to get us anywhere. Views just seem to get more entrenched like that, and if we pull up our drawbridges then there's never going to be discussion. I'm a firm believer that we can only change the world, and how others view it, through empathy and kindness, not judgement and attacking.
Which, I know, sounds a bit hippy-drippy, but it does let me continue to enjoy the aforementioned artist's work on an aesthetic level at least. Even if I do still wrestle with it a bit, mainly because I wonder whether his publicly voiced views are the tip of a deep, dark, iceberg.
I have a number of right-wing friends and family members, with assorted beliefs, and - oddly - that bothers me less than it does artists I admire, perhaps because I know them as people, and can see they're not bad just because we have differing opinions. People are complex. People aren't just one thing or another. We're all a mix of the subjectively good and bad. I prefer to give others the benefit of the doubt as much as I can.
The best example I can give is when a nephew of mine - who was in his early-20s and in the army at the time - posted to Facebook saying good riddance to Nelson Mandela, because he was a "terrorist".
I knew where this had come from - because Mandela had been on a US terror watchlist, and my nephew had been conditioned by his training to see all "terrorists" as bad, and sod the nuance. I did take him to task about it, and he quickly deleted the post. Thing is, I know my nephew, and he's a decent, sweet, man. He'd been institutionalised, he'd fought in Afghanistan - it was a mix of all that, some bad info he'd gotten, and a lack of knowledge about the world. Not because he was bad.
That was a long-winded answer. Sorry!
This is the Beanus-obsessed mess that goes by the name of "JoybitLegit" in your YouTube comments. I got a hold of my friend who's been to prison and he told me how to make a Hookup, turns out there are two versions. I wanna say he made the latter considering the color of the water in my sink afterwards.
"Ramen noodles, baked beans, and hot dogs is one recipe. Only use half the packet of flavor. Other one is ramen, summer sausage, mayo, and mustard with pickles in it as the sauce. Fry the meat in either case."
If possible, mix it in a spare garbage bag for full authenticity. Note that my friend and I are American so we're talking about something like Bush's Baked Beans and Yellow Mustard. Well, I'm half Canadian, but that's a minor technicality.
Looking forward to some retching from Paul,
Tell your friend I admire his "only use half the packet" attention to culinary detail. Wouldn't want that Hookup to be too flavourful!
Hi Biffo, I hope you and the family are well.
A few quick questions for you:
1. You've stated in the past that you never wanted to be a performer/be in front of a camera but obviously you've been on camera a lot over the past year so you must've watched your own videos hundreds of times while editing them. Have you noticed anything about yourself during this process, either stuff you do physically or verbally/the way you say things which surprised you/didn't realise that you did? (the first time I was ever recorded on video I was surprised that my voice is deeper than it sounds in my head, for example).
2. Did you know that there's a remake of Skool Daze on Steam? I've never played the original and I haven't played this newer version (so I can't comment on the quality of it) as I think it'd mean more to someone who remembers the original. It's only £2.99 until Friday 28th February so it might be worth a punt though? *Disclaimer - I'm not affiliated with the game in any way*
3. I'm glad to hear you're a fan of Viz! I suspected as much. Along with Viz I also used to read the Zit, Smut and Spit! comics, did you ever read those too? They weren't as good as Viz, Zit being the best of those three, but there were laughs to be had.
4. Did you ever play the Viz videogame?
It's more during filming that I'll give myself a hard time, if I feel I wasn't funny enough or contributing enough (though all of us do that). Normally when I watch it back I'm pleasantly surprised.
That said, if I am ever critical of myself in the edit, it's usually what I look like. In the latest video - the Kickstarter one - I'm slouched in the chair for the entire thing, looking like Jabba the Hutt draped in a throne, plus my hair is just sort of plastered to the top of my head, because I'd gotten all hot-and-bothered setting up for filming. That was a harder-than-usual watch.
2. I am very familiar with this, and other, Skool Daze reboots. They're always quite slavish to the original, whereas I think I'm looking for something a little more - something which builds on what was there originally.
3. I bought issues of all those things, and I kind of hated them all. They never quite understood the surrealism that's always been at the heart of Viz, and just focused on trying to be edgy. For all its jokes about farts and large testicles, Viz has always been really intelligent and satirical.
4. I'm sure I did. Like the old Monty Python game, it failed to really capture the essence of what it was based upon.
Right. That's it for another week. Send letters if you want another of these next Friday. And please don't tag me in that picture of that Heinz beans/hoops mash-up, asking what Beanus thinks about it. That took up my entire Thursday.