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THE DIGITISER FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

31/8/2018

9 Comments

 
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Humana-humana! I'm back! Did you miss me? Did you even notice I was gone? Get this: the next few months will be taken up with Digitiser and Digitiser-related projects - including finishing Digitiser The Show. Not forgetting that it's still the 25th anniversary year for Digitiser, and that the year isn't over yet, there may still be one or two surprises to come. You shall be informed of these in due course.

But anyway. Letters? Let us (letters) do that. Lettuce.


If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
KISSIN' BOOTH
Well met, Sir Biffo! What Ho! etc.

I've cracked it. Here's how you double your next Kickstarter campaign takings. It's really simple: get Emily Booth to show us her bum.

I came up with that. It's yours if you want it.

Right, I'm off to whittle some whelks. As ever, your humble servant.
Jabberwoc
This is a very disappointing letter for all sorts of reasons, Jabberwoc. However, somewhat incredibly,  Emily Booth did volunteer to send us a picture of her bum, and you can see it by pressing reveal.
REVEAL:
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MASSIVE NERD WRITES
Look, this isn’t a witch hunt and I don’t have to prove to anyone how much of a gaming nerd I am. I’m not even bothered what you think. 

The fact is, up until I bought Mega Man Legacy Collection, I’d never played a Mega Man game. In the end I thought they were all alright. I can see why they would have been good at the time, but they didn’t do much for me now. 

I prefer Nintendo’s twee and whimsical output to overt violence. For example, when people were taking the week off work to play GTA: San Andreas I was rushing home to pick mushrooms in Animal Crossing. I didn’t own any Xboxes, and only started Playing Station from number 3 onwards. As a result of this combination of taste, available formats, and stubbornness there are some popular franchises, I’ve never played Crash Bandicoot, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy, God of War, any 3D Grand Theft Auto, Halo, Metal Gear Solid...

And the only Castlevania I’ve played is Legacy of Darkness on the N64 (OBVIOUSLY THE BEST ONE!!!!).

I feel bad for only liking the things I like, and I’m determined to rectify it with your help.  So, Papa Biffo, in your humble opinion, what is the best game of each franchise listed above and are they worth playing today in the year 20XX AD?

Are any of them so good I need to play them right now?

Thanks
Grembot 64
Take my arm, why don't you?

​Crash: get the new anthology (though I was disappointed with it to be honest; they're not as good as I remember). Devil May Cry and Final Fantasy I never got on with (so never bought the most recent ones), God of War you should - in my opinion - stick to the earlier ones (not the reboot which came out this year), Grand Theft Auto V should do you as it's an absurd sandbox playground, the last Metal Gear was fun but way too long, and I've always thought Halo was overrated.

So, stick to what you're doing, and buy some indie games, for pity's sake.
STEEPED IN TRADITION
​
In the last few months I've started picking up games in digital sales that had kind of mixed reviews, thinking that i might find the odd gem. One of the games I thought I'd chance my arm on was "Steep", the game of timed tea-bag removal. Or something.

Anyways, what I found is that I took a chance on it, and it turned out that I really enjoyed the game, and was playing it pretty much every day for about 2 weeks. I would say it's been one of the more enjoyable games I've played in a good long while. Nothing fancy, but it appealed to the collector in me, and it was quite chilled when you did the paragliding, and all you could hear was the wind whistling past you as you climbed perilously close to the mountainside.

So my question is this... in these days of insane hype and pre-orders 6 months before games come out (I'm looking at you, Red Dead 2, Trials Rising, etc.) have you ever picked up a random game that you were expecting very little from and it turned into a real surprise that you couldn't put down?

Ta Muchly
Rich

P.S. - Hugely looking forward to Digitiser the Show. When are you planning to "drop it" (as I believe the kids say)?
Steep was alright, but I found trudging up mountains to be a chore. Anyway... random purchases? Yeah, probably Mr Shifty for my Switch. Didn't know what to expect, but it was relatively cheap, and I couldn't put it down.

Digitiser The Show will, hopefully, debut before the end of the year, but I'm only now properly starting editing the first six eps - and we've still got some filming to do - because my day job turned out to be a little more demanding this year than I'd anticipated. I'll keep you all updated on the progress, but if - in the interests of making it as good as possible - the release slips into early 2019, don't be surprised. I SHALL NOT BE RUSHED.
THE LOOK: NES MONSTER
​
I notice that next year, Mar 10 falls on a wedNESday (it doesn't). I just wondered if you had any thing big planed for next wedNESday? Now that Digi is updating again.
simon
Yes. Press reveal to see what we have planned.
REVEAL:
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INSANIA
I went to the Insomnia gaming festival at Birmingham NEC at the weekend. What struck me (but perhaps shouldn't have been a surprise) was just how wonderfully SOCIAL and FUN the Nintendo area felt, in contrast to many of the other stands, good though they might be.

Couch multiplayer feels increasingly special to me as time goes on, and Fortnite really brings this home. Enjoyable as it is across the networks, being in the same room as well (e.g. handheld Switches plus Xbox) increases the enjoyment exponentially.

I reckon.
Starbuck
The last time I played a multiplayer game with somebody in the same room, it was Snipperclips with my dear wife. We ended up having an argument, because apparently I was "taking over". I've not played it since. Yesterday we had an argument because apparently I was "taking over" Christmas, after I suggested we didn't need to do roast potatoes on Boxing Day. What can I say? I have a lust for power!
CUPCAKE AND DINO DINI
My wife and I have just finished watching “Cupcake and Dino” on Netflix.  It is very good and is highly recommended.

I’m not sure if 35-45 year olds are the target audience but we enjoyed every silly moment. I suspect a few Digitiser readers would also enjoy it so I’m doing my bit to spread the word! It has one of the catchiest ear-wormy theme songs ever.

Also, I’m doing my best to not fall into the ‘pre-order’ trap/scam for Spider-Man on PS4 but it’s hard to resist. 

Can I just wait until release day?

Find out next week... same Bat time, same Bat channel!

Regards,
Seam
I'll be getting Spider-Man, mainly because I've liked previous Spider-Man games, and most games created by Insomniac Games. However, I can't pretend that I don't feel a little weariness when seeing the massive open-world city. I mean, there's no other way to do a Spider-Man game without setting it in Manhattan, but still... I've got a serious case of Triple-M (map-mopper malaise).
HIATUS? HE BARELY EVEN KNOWS US!
Hello Mr Biffo! So glad Digitiser2000 is back!! I’ve missed it so blimmin much, it’s definitely part of my night time routine; drink a nice mug of Ovaltine and read some Digi. I was lost without it, it’s the only website I know!!! Funny eh?

Anyway, don’t go on hiatus again, dude?! Yeah! 

On a lighter note, Streets of Rage 4? I’ll have some of that, lad!!! You think Sega HQ types read Digi too? Cos that was deffo your idea (Streets of Rage Mania). Word to your mother.

Yours Sincerely,
James Walker
Yes, but Streets of Rage 4 isn't the same thing as what I suggested. They've gone with that sort of slick, hand-drawn, look, which I'm sorry to say somewhat dilutes my excitement. It's weird, but I find pixel art synonymous with scrolling beat 'em ups. You can do pretty much what you like with any other genre, but scrolling beat 'em ups HAVE to be pixellated. I look forward to having my beliefs up-ended.
LEGO OF ME
Hey Biffs,
I’m at Legoland and I wondered who your favourite Lego Friends girl is?
Love,
deKay xxx
Press reveal to find out.
REVEAL:
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THE FOREST OF DEAN
​Not really thought this through…

It’d help tremendously if you could start watching this video from about 1:10 - it’s John Lennon playing ‘Tennessee’ with Chuck Berry but the important part as far as we’re all concerned is Yoko Ono’s performance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9kgu71d81U

Cool?

Cool!

Some of my favourite Talking Heads lyrics:

“Aiiiee”

“Arrrrgggghhhh”

“Weeeaaaarrrrggghhhh”

Stewart Lee is funny, quite likes jazz and he’s worked some of that jazz into his Matazz (material) for example when he repeats things; Stew sticks with it and for some reason it works and you’ll find lots of examples of that in any Lee show or jazz solo, and what’s interestingish is how they’re not really words anymore. No. Once your brain has been alerted to the fact that something’s repeating then surely it’s all just sounds? Could be!

My question is, do you think that music has played a part in the development of your sense of humour? 

A one word answer or a parp on your cornet will suffice, but saying something about Monty Python songs will realistically be quite tedious for all concerned.

I’ve *written a light blues number to play in the background as you consider that last question but you have to imagine the music which is just a 12 bar in E anyway.

LET’S DO THE BLUES!

1...
2...
3...
4 and...

The round glasses of you remember, soldier boots
And military shoulder bag of white cloth
You were talking modestly always

You want to play the old blues song someday
You had to talk all the time like that

Hey

Blues

Yah

I heard rumours of you who wind had come
You are and died
I heard a rumour that he died
After you helped a woman you will drown

It’s a stupid man, Mr Biffo
Are you come tonight garbled welcome
Let’s play a blues song

In the ‘at the Acheron’ I dies, then the…
With me with Mr Biffo, and keep trying to play a blues song
All over-night.

In the front of the Grim-Reaper I dies, then the…
With me with Mr Biffo, and keep trying to play a blues song
All over-night.

With me with Mr Biffo, and keep trying to play a blues song
All over-night.


THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
DEAN

*I didn’t shittrally write it myself... changed a word or two though… like what Messrs Zeppelin done.
Well... that was a bit of a free-form jazz epic, Deano. But yeah, I think music has influenced my writing. Maybe. A bit.

To much mockery I occasionally described Found Footage as "prog comedy" - inspired by prog rock. However, during the process that I realised there were elements of it which resembled the best prog albums; there was a concept, a narrative, it wasn't immediate, and it rewarded multiple viewings. It was deliberately challenging. It shifted gears from one section to the next, mixing light and dark, and there were notes and themes which recurred. Also, it wasn't all that popular, and not for everyone - but those who loved it really loved it. 

Part of me wishes it had done better, but I'd rather have a passionate cult following for something I believe in, than loads of views for something I'd compromised on. 

I should state for the record that although I consider myself a fan of prog rock, I also think that 90% of all prog rock is terrible. 
GAMING MILL'S LETTER
Good to have you back! About four or five weeks ago I collapsed in my bathroom (sober) and fell into my empty bath, fracturing my skull (no joke). I don't know how long I was out for, but I can't remember the four or five days after it happened. The doctor I saw said it was something called 'concussion' or suchlike. He could've said it was gout for all I cared at the time - I was pretty much out of it for a couple of weeks, and I still don't feel 100% even right now.

On a lighter note, today is the day I release my 300th video on YouTube! I don't know why I bother though - no-one watches my stuff like they used to. Ah well, their loss.

This year has been pretty rubbish for me health-wise and there are still four months to go this year. I can't even be safe in my own home. 

As always, I am unwell but strong and that is all.
Gaming Mill.

P.S. YouTube plug (please subscribe, like, watch my other videos and click that bell button thing (I don't know why I typed that but everyone else on YouTube seems to say it so why not join the flock?): http://youtube.com/gamingmill
Bloody hell, Gaming Mill. 
50 Qs OF WHYTE
1. I'm not a fan of games that are too difficult, but even worse are games with bad difficulty spikes. Does any game stand out for you as being otherwise playable but with an unfairly difficult section/level.

2. Seeing as Sony have sold 500m PlayStations, and have been arguably the dominant console manufacturer for most of the last 24 years, what - to you - is the definitive PlayStation game?

3. What do you think is the best arcade-style racing game?
​John Whyte
1) The one that springs immediately to mind is Revenge of Shinobi on the Mega Drive. I loved that game, but there was one stage - set in some docks - that 

2) Hmm. Good question. Let's say... Wipeout; self-consciously cool, ground-breaking, and with some real bad polygon pop-up.

3) Arcade-style? I always really liked the Burnout series. 

+++ plugzone+++PLUGZONE+++PLUGZONE+++

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Several notable Friends of Digitiser have started their own comedy podcast - the very funny This That & The Other. 

It is described thusly: "This That & The Other is solely a comedy podcast with no other purpose than to make you laugh. Our topics and characters are wide, varied and often the product of deranged minds. Nobody has stopped us doing this yet, so we're going to continue until further notice."

You may find all the episodes to date right here: ttato.co.uk

9 Comments
Wrist Flapper link
31/8/2018 11:47:39 am

No roast spuds on Boxing Day? PATREON CANCELLED!

Reply
MrsBiffo
31/8/2018 12:08:38 pm

Wrist Flapper, thank-you!

Reply
Mr Biffo
31/8/2018 12:33:54 pm

Unbelievable.

Wrist Flapper link
31/8/2018 02:52:32 pm

Wait... I thought you didn't take his name? SHENANIGANS!

Craig Anderson link
31/8/2018 12:46:38 pm

I've missed those "Reveal" things. I love how apprehensive I get before clicking one, in case it is something less workplace friendly.

You should release a lenticular book of them, called "Tilt to Reveal."

Reply
Mrtankthreat
31/8/2018 02:11:57 pm

I'm with you on the roasties Biffo. Stephen's Day (can't make myself say boxing day) dinner is actually better than Christmas day dinner because we go back to chips instead of roasties. They're fine on Christmas day because tradition and all but they're not really that nice. Neither is turkey though. I'd rather have chicken but again tradition dictates.

Reply
Gosport Goshawk
31/8/2018 05:26:09 pm

I won’t hear another word of this roast potato heresy. With you on the turkey front, though. Did a goose last Christmas. Tasty, but the kitchen was covered in grease for what felt like weeks after. Won’t be doing that again. A big chicken will do. If it’s good enough for Noel Edmonds, it’s good enough for me.

Reply
DEAN
31/8/2018 06:21:38 pm

That's interesting about FF and Prog Rock.... I can see that, guy!

I think it turned out great and have held off rewatching it so that when the USB stick / DVD arrives I don't just put it straight into a drawer 'somewhere', and on top of which I'm really looking forward to seeing the sweet extras.






Reply
Jabberwoc
31/8/2018 06:49:19 pm

OH CURSED MISFORTUNE.
I finally get to see Boofy's bum and it's ONLY GONE AND DONE A PLOP.

Reply



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