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THE DIGITISER FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

1/3/2019

16 Comments

 
Picture
As I write this, I'm right in the middle of a two-day shoot for the Digitiser Channel. In the spirit of the recent videos I've made with Mr Gannon, it's all quite loose and relaxed - not like the high-pressure, seat-of-our-pants, filming for Digitiser The Show - but it's lovely getting the gang back together.

Interestingly, something that has arisen for me is the realisation that I need to be challenged. Dunno how I've kept this site going for over four years without getting bored, but if you look at Digifest to Found Footage to Trojan Arse to the Found Footage Premiere to Digitiser The Show... I'm not really one to scrub myself with the same brush twice. It was weird, but I realised yesterday that I thrive on that thrill of the new, that adrenaline rush of doing something that risks falling apart at any minute and that I've never done before. 

So, I don't yet know what this means - though I've got a couple of ideas - but what I can tell you is that Series 2 of Digitiser The Show will be radically different to the first. There. I've said it. We're mixing up the format more than I thought I would. 

​The last thing I'd want is to get tired of doing it - I won't be getting paid... so I at least need the creative reward, which means not leaning into the safety net of the familiar. I need that buzz.

I'll keep you posted - but the good news is that my immediate priority is now the Digitiser Live show, which will no doubt tick a few of those boxes.

Letters!


If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, or you've got a picture of a bin you wish to share, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
TWO PARTS SHAKUR
Letter has 2 parts. First, something to hopefully make you smile and then, second, a genuine game question.

Love the YouTube channel and the site. My best friend and I used to literally (and I use the word carefully) cry with laughter sharing Bubblegun ‘top tens’ during English lessons in secondary school. One I a can still remember now was ‘rejected ideas for Ronald McDonald before settling on a clown’. It was that silly humour that connected me and said friend, and we remain friends now. He was even at my wedding. So, ta.

I also used to like the ‘Teletext games page’, as I knew it, when I was even younger but didn’t understand how it all worked. I caught it randomly on occasion, but would wait for the whole thing to cycle. 

THEN, more recently, the aforementioned friend started sending me hilarious pictures from the Memory Assistant twitter page. 

The point of this first gush is that I had no idea there was a connection between all of these things until I started reading Digi2000. I’ve enjoyed all of what you’ve created and published over the last 20 years or so, without knowing it was you. It all still makes me laugh now.

I work in healthcare and know that REAL gratitude is difficult to articulate, but that receiving it can genuinely make you feel good and make the really tough bits feel worthwhile - sometimes helping reinforce you’re doing the right thing. So, again, big genuine ‘ta’!

​Btw you don’t have to publish that bit, I won’t be offended. 

Genuine game question:

I am LOVING RE 2 remake on PS4. The original was the first game I saved and saved and saved for, then got my sister to buy as I wasn’t old enough. I know nostalgia will filter lots of things, but one thing that stands out to me about this game is a genuine tension about ammo conservation and often needing to try and escape or avoid zombies, blobs or tyrants because I have no health item or ammo left.

​And the game mechanic of a constantly pursuing ‘tyrant’ that isn’t just a QuickTime mechanism, and will actually stomp you dead, is horroble!

So, what other games might scratch this masochistic itch of mine to be genuinely uncomfortable during a game? The Alien one I remember was good, until about half way through when you got a weapon that scared the thing away, instead of it killing you instantly, removing all difficulty and fear from the game.
Richard (now a proper grown up but still remembering ‘ten things not to do in a shoe shop’)
Don't have to publish a bit where you're telling everyone how awesome I am? Hello?!? But seriously - thank you. Means all the more, in a way, that you've enjoyed my stuff without realising it was "my" stuff. I've had a bit of a weird week, so your lovely words came at the right time.

Genuine game question answer: I confess, there aren't many games which have made me feel tense and scared (though the limited ammo in most Resident Evil games does result in that). I guess I could recommend the Dark Souls series - there's certainly the tension there that you're going to die every 30 seconds. 

​Oddly, the only time a game has ever made me jump was Resi's inspiration - Alone In The Dark; there's a bit where you walk into a room, and there are a load of floating, mumbling, blobs, and it really startled me. I shrieked!
TENSION CANNON
Dear Mysterious Cities of Biffold,

I've been meandering my way through Red Dead Redemption 2 for the past while and recently reached the point where, after a failed bank robbery and a brief career as a stowaway, I found myself (well Arthur Morgan) on a tropical island.

At this point I got genuinely excited at what new challenges and game play this new and unique location would unlock. Sadly what I got was less of the same, lots of shooting things and blowing things up with not much else. 
​
The whole section felt like a disappointing missed opportunity. So I was wondering  if you found yourself enthused by the potential of a level or section of a game only to be disappointed? Go on, name names. 

Love and kisses
Treacle
Hmmmmmm. Yes: the casino/pinball-y bits in any of the Sonic games. I always felt they never went far enough with the pinball stuff, and then they did when they released Sonic Spinball, and it wasn't as good as I hoped it'd be. Yoku's Island Express is, fortunately, the game I wanted Sonic Spinball to be.
ALIVE AND KICKING
Thank you for keeping me alive another week.
Chai.
No pressure, eh, Chai!!!!!!
THE COST OF A BIFFO
Hi Mr Biffo. So after a month of wondering and personal debating about this "Well, I don't want to put a value on myself... but I hope I'm worth at least 70p" from the Patreon begging thingy, I've decided you're worth more,  and so joined the awesome and  friendly patreon lot.

(If you're wondering what swayed it... it was you losing subscribers on the MJ/Sonic 3 vid LOL).

As someone who is old (48), I'm so glad that Digitiser still lives in some form 

Please keep up the good work. 

Love yer.
Daph Blake x​

PS. Please please see if you can get Derek Findas on the show some how this guy is next level brilliant.
Firstly, thank you for becoming a Patron, Daphs. Wooot! Secondly, I couldn't agree with you more about Derek Findas - everyone should be watching him. And if Digi can in any way give him a boost... we will. Watch this space.
EDGE
Hello, Hello (Hola!)

Last week “Steve” wrote a letter and asked a question that was the opposite of what I thought it was going to be, so I’m going to pretend I’ve come up with this on my own. 

1. As a professional screen writer is there any video game that you think could work as a feature film and/or television series?

2.  On the same theme, is there any game you cherish which you’d be loathed to see adapted for film/television, and if so would you turn down cold hard cash if asked to write it?

3.  Not related at all. Games are getting easier to finish. In the olden days they’d be so hard you’d be thrilled to finish one screen, then came passwords and saves, then the saves became more frequent, now you get infinite lives without using a cheat (even the supposedly tough Dark Souls has infinite lives). Have you ever not enjoyed a game because it’s too easy? What’s the optimal difficulty?

I’m at a place called Vertigo.
Bono (not really: it’s Grembot)
1. I'm sort of a bit anti-games becoming films. I like that games are separate from movies, and for me they work best when the story is owned by the player. They're an interactive medium, whereas films are just cut-scenes, and it bugs me when those lines become blurred. It's pretty evident that films and TV shows can make decent games, whereas it's rare for that to go the other way. Though Detective Pikachu looks great...

2. Yes: if they ever make a Half-Life film or TV show I will be picketing the studios. And burning them down. I think I've mentioned before that I was approached about writing a Fable TV series - whoops, just broke the NDA again. I would've happily done that, because... money reasons. I love money!!!! 

3. I like games to be easy to play, because for me it's about the experience - exploring, doing new things. That's why I struggle with Dark Souls, because it feels like the enemies are stopping me doing that. It's the gaming equivalent of walking round the shops, and being stopped repeatedly by people clipboards. 

Which, I know, is the whole point. But that's not for me.
SING THE THEME TUNE
Bifflon,
 
1. I was wearing my Digi hoody at the weekend and someone sang 'Digi-TIS-er!' at me. Y'know, like the theme song.
 
2. Have you ever played the new Hitman games? The first one was 'free' with online subscriptions on both consoles recently, and it's a real hoot. 
 
3. New Pokemon looks alright doesn't it? 'Ninty' seem set to dominate Xmas this year.
 
4. That's it
 
Love,
Biscuits​
1. This makes me very happy. I wish someone would shout that at me. I love getting attention!!!! (I don't: I hate it)

2. I haven't! I meant to, but the fact I had to download them put me off. I dunno if my internet is worse than the average, but downloading on anything other than my Switch seems to take forever.

3. I admit... I know nothing about the new ones other than the titles, but the sheer fact there are going to be proper Pokemon games on the Switch does get me intrigued. And that's the first time a Pokemon game has got me excited in a long time.
BELLEPHANT
Hi Biffo,

I think it’s time to reflect on how great the Digitiser Minis have been. I know you put a lot of time and effort into making them, and it’s very much appreciated, especially as our Kickstarter money only went towards the series.

You can see them developing every time you publish something new, and over the last few weeks they’ve really started to feel like proper Show-worthy content, not just nice bonus material.

The Sir Clive and Michael Jackson Minis were especially excellent, not only because of how informative and funny they were, but because they both proudly gave off the distinct Parfum de Biffo. It’s an olfactory treat - your timing and use of the format is making them something to look forward to every week. 

If the show includes the kind of stuff you’ve been doing, well - that will definitely be a positive thing, and add to the already groaning pile of Grade A Content.

Speaking of Series 2, I was sorry to hear that Jenny won’t be rejoining the team as a host for the next run. I thought she really added something to the panel, so it’s a shame - will you be looking for a replacement host?

Keeping the numbers at 5 seems sensible for balance (especially for the desk!), and having the same gender mix would be preferable too - otherwise Octavius starts to look a bit outnumbered! Best of luck with the search anyway, I’m sure you’ve already got plenty of ideas bubbling away.

Finally, I did enjoy your musings on hide and seek in the ‘boring games’ article. Hide and seek games could be great! Just think of the scope for silliness and fun - the format has potential for proper laughs.

My most memorable hide and seek moment came when I was about 10. We had one of those massive chest freezers you used to see in a lot of homes, and during one game I decided to climb inside it and use it as my hiding place (it was off and defrosted at the time).

It only occurred to me how dangerous this was when the lid closed, plunging me into darkness, and I realised that the whole thing had been sealed airtight.

And then I died of asphyxiation.

That’s a lie, actually. I didn’t die - in fact, I won the game! Which probably isn’t the message you should take away from this, but it did happen, so you’ll just have to deal with it.

I’m very thankful I thought to stick some fingers through the seal to let air in. What an idiot I was. Don’t hide in freezers, people! Unless you’re Indiana Jones trying to survive a nuclear explosion.

But yes: hide and seek games please!
Chris Bell
Cheers for the nice words as always, Bellston. The Digi Minis finally feel like they're starting to build a bit of momentum, which is a relief. I love doing them, but beyond scratching my creative itch, they are there to hopefully bring in new people before we start funding for Series 2. I love the research, and I love editing them together. 

​As for the host balance in Series 2... it's all up for discussion at the moment. We all got together this week partly to see what it felt like with four of us, and to explore other ways of filming the series (though there will actually be five of us today, he teases...). We want to go into Series 2 prepared, see. 

The jury is out at the minute as to whether we'll find someone new to join us in a permanent capacity - I too liked what Jenny brought to the show - but I think it'd be a hard ask of anyone to join four hosts who've now had a lot of experience working together.

Based on past experience, I think we would need somebody who "gets" Digi, who isn't afraid to muck in with the nonsense, and who has a positive attitude. Virtually everyone who was there during the filming of Series 1 remarked about how lovely the atmosphere was, and how we were all pulling in the same direction. I've worked in TV long enough to know how negative energy can infect a set, and t
here's no point doing it if it isn't fun, or if there's bitchiness or gossip. We have to trust one another, otherwise it doesn't work. 

Atop that, we would need somebody who brings something to the desk - be it in experience, comedy or knowledge - but they also have to fit as part of the mix, so it doesn't unbalance it. They need their own, complimentary, energy. Which is a lot to ask of a person, and when you think about it holistically... while there are loads of people who are brilliant in their own right, there aren't as many people out there who'd fulfil that as you might think. 

​However, we are indeed batting around some ideas, and we'll be discussing that some more today. It's like putting the pieces of an engine together to ensure it runs as smoothly and effectively as possible. 
MORE THAN WORDS
Well, last weekend I decided to get a game for my PSP. I like this handheld, it’s got a nice feel to it. Anyway, CEX had a copy of Space Invaders Extreme, so I plonked down my four pounds, and...

OH GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE THEY DONE????

I mean, yeah, the word Extreme is in the title, so, yeah. Fun, but maddening in equal measures.

All the best,
Paul
I'm not sure I've played Space Invaders Extreme. Is that the one where it's all trance-y? They did the same with Pac-Man relatively recently too didn't they? 
500 Qs OF WHYTE
301) After years of putting it off, I have finally started playing the Metro Series. Even though I am thoroughly sick of post-apocalyptic settings, it does seem to have a depth and humanity that many other examples do not. In some respects, I am reminded of the Witcher. This made me wonder if, in part, this is due to it being based on novels. Do you think, generally, that games based on books have better settings than those that don't?

302) Have you ever reached a point in a game where you disagreed with its morals enough to stop playing it? There have been a couple of occasions when I have disagreed profoundly with a game's narrative.

303) I feel sometimes that because games can now have any style of music within them, that there is no such thing as computer game music any more. In other words, music from games used to be really distinctive and served a purpose within the game structure whereas now they seem more to act like film soundtracks. Do you agree and if so, is this even a problem?

304) Shigeru Miyamoto would be the choice of many people, although not me, as the greatest game maker so far. Despite this he is more of a Spielberg figure within games than the equivalent of an auteur in film. While this is not really a bad thing, who, would you say is a true visionary/Avant Garde game maker? Almost like Jean-Luc Godard.

305) Would you rather have lived in a world without Tomb Raider, or without Command and Conquer?

306) what are your feelings on episodic games? Once they were considered to be the future but they seem to have stalled recently after a promising start.

307) How much would you consider to be a fair price for, let's say, a PlayStation 'Netflix' service which enabled you to play every game released on PlayStation?​
​John Whyte
301) I've loved all the Metro games, and finally bought the new one this week. I'm looking forward to getting stuck in at the weekend. For me, the risk of basing games on books - especially fantasy books - is when they feel they have to cram in loads of lore, and backstory. Just capture the essence, the spine of the plot, and the atmosphere. I don't want to have to read a billion journals.

302) I did sort of get there with Grand Theft Auto V. After a while, I just felt grubby playing it. I mean, that might've been what Rockstar was going for - holding up a mirror to humanity - but it's so cynical, and depressing, that it wasn't so much its morals I objected to, as its lack of hope.

303) Man, that's so true. Yeah, you're right. There are chiptune musicians out there, though. I've been listening to a lot of synthwave music at the moment - which evokes 80s movie and game soundtracks. Try some of that. 

304) That's a good question, and the nature of modern, big-budget, game development means that you don't really get auteurs in mainstream gaming anymore. The indie sector is where you get these more personal games, but obviously... few of them become blockbusters. 

305) Brilliant question, and very hard to answer. Seeing as I'm currently craving a new, classic-style, C&C game, and am not bothered about ever playing a Tomb Raider again, I'd say I couldn't live without Command & Conquer.

306) I liked the idea of them in theory, but in practice... not so much. It's sort of to do with frequency really. I don't want more than a month between episodes, but the gaps between - say - the Telltale adventures are much longer. 

​307) Jeez. Original PlayStation games? I think with any subscription service I'm not really prepared to pay more than a tenner a month, whether it's for films and TV shows or games. Especially if they're really old games. 
TV GAMES
“Greetings” Biffo!

Hope you’re well and all that. I’ve been playing, like, loadsa them retro games this week, and got to thinking how crazy and numerous the licensed games were back in the day.

You know, if it’d make a few bob stick a license on it, Skips crisps, Yes Prime Minister, Neighbours, Grange Hill. I could literally, go on for bloody ever!

That’s what the modern game industry is missing now, the complete randomness of the licensed games we used to have. Where’s my Great British Bake Off for PS4, or perhaps Loose Women on Nintendo Switch!?

Maybe even a game based on the 4 O’Clock Club? Or Pudsey the Movie? I bet you’d have got them back in the olden days!

Anyway I’ve talked shite for long enough now. I’ll write something better next time, I’ve just had my bedtime Horlicks and I’m a bit tired and emotional y’know. I usually have Ovaltine, or 8 cans of lager.
Anyway, Byeeeeeeeeee

James Walker

PS. You should seriously think about having a P.O. Box for real presents and other stuff to be sent in, maybe even show some of them on the channel eh? My kids favourite you tubers do loads of them fan mail vids and I’d bet you’d get sent some proper weird shit. Seeee yaaa!

That's actually a really good idea about getting a PO Box. Has anyone out there got a load of old gaming-related rubbish you'd want to be featured on the channel, which you'd be willing to send? If enough of you do, then yes... we might set one up.

And yeah, I hear you about dem licensed games. Let's face it though, one based upon Pudsey would've been some dancing game where you could make the dog perform one of his many signature moves, such as standing on his hind legs, or standing on his hind legs.
16 Comments
Nick
1/3/2019 09:43:51 am

Cracking letters.

I like the idea of a Fable telly show. A kinda tiny bit more grown up version of Maid Marion and her Merry Men? That would be great.

GTA V Yeah I know what you mean. I only started playing it before Christmas and I’ve not finished the story yet. I’m sure they are being cynical and reflecting society’s hypocrisies but at the same time they revel in, and exploit them. Umm… A bit Ricky Gervais init?

Series 2 presenters? Mr Hairs! And plenty of him. I really liked the bits he was in. Isn’t his new book good?

So ends my thoughts.

Reply
Biscuits
1/3/2019 10:14:16 am

Last tawdry licensed game I can remember is the wretched Little Britain for PS2... I think that kind of thing found its home on mobile in the end

Reply
Craig Grannell
1/3/2019 10:36:35 am

You haven't played Space Invaders Extreme? Oh man. Go and buy a copy RIGHT NOW. It's fab. (Space Invaders Infinity Gene was also lovely, although Taito removed it from app stores and basically told me to sod off when I in journo mode asked if it would ever return.)

On the hosts thing, good that you're thinking hard about it. I broadly agree with Mr Bell that it'd be good to not shift the gender balance to 4:1 if possible. If it works with the four of you, mind, and you're all happy, I guess that'd do the trick anyway. (As for Gameplay Jenny, it's a pity she doesn't want to do more – I thought she was great. But if it wasn't for her, fair enough.)

Reply
Voldo
1/3/2019 11:50:32 am

Has everyone forgotton the awful glut of cheap licensed games for Nintendo Wii/DS? Jamie Olivers cooking was great however, I would make frozen chicken lollies coated in chocolate, and he'd exclaim in a low quality sample 'Corr that looks delicious!'

Also series 2? Hope to see more of the delightful characters including more from the hilarious Man's Daddy, maybe Mr. Nude might drop in?

Reply
gerald
1/3/2019 12:07:11 pm

Witcher games have some truly terrible dialogue and writing - but then so do the awful 'Danielle Stelle for thain fellows' books that they are based on

Reply
Wrist Flapper link
1/3/2019 12:44:11 pm

Re: Biscuits' Hitman question

No, and that pains me as I've been playing them since the very original. But I refuse to buy an always online single player game on principle. Anybody else avoided a game they wanted because they're a stubborn twat?

Reply
Biscuits
2/3/2019 11:32:34 am

I can't speak for your principles but the game is top-notch

Reply
Taucher
1/3/2019 02:53:40 pm

Excellent point about the lack of licenced games these days. I remember very fondly Judith Chalmers' Falconry Challenge on the Commodre 64 and the Geoff Capes' Fly Tipping Simulator on the Speccy.

Taste in games has changed though hasn't it? Now you'd have to do a Louie Spence post apocalyptic zombie survival game wouldn't you? And it's difficult to see why Louise Spence would be included in such a game.

re: disagreeing with a game's morals. I mean, I would disagree with the morals in about 90% of games. E.g. playing as Manchester City on Pro. Evo. In real life I'd feel a bit grubby taking millions of pounds worth of tainted money from murderous regimes but on a game I don't have to worry about all that.

Reply
Kate
1/3/2019 04:34:32 pm

Some stray thoughts from reading the letters:

Looking forward to series 2 of Digitiser The Show so much, I haven't laughed that hard for a long, long time. Shared it with mates and managed to convert a few into the fold. I will be keeping my eyes peeled for where to throw my money when it comes to fundraising for the second series.

For anyone who loved Fable back in the day there is Kynseed, a very, very early access game made by a couple of the developers from Lionhead. It is veerrrryyyyy early days in regards of development though, but while I wouldn't normally recommend a game until full release, I personally enjoy the graphics and soundtrack so far. Plus I wanted to buy the game as much to help the developers get it made as wanting to say thanks for all the good times I had with the Fable games.

Synthwave, yes indeed. Whenever I listen to a synthwave track it makes me feel like I did when I was growing up in the 80s, where the future was going to be all Tron like and flying cars and every other person was probably going to be a Cyborg or some such. For the ultimate synthwave bop I can recommend the marvellous Carpenter Brut track 'Turbo Killer'. The video is something else too. I like to put this on when driving and imagine I'm in a 80s B-movie car chase rather then just pootling down to Wickes for some guttering.

Reply
Falconhoof
1/3/2019 04:59:09 pm

May I suggest Limmy as a possible presenter for series 2.
His Netflix show is excellent, very Digi-style humour.
Also he’s a keen gamer and regularly posts let’s plays to his YouTube channel. I think he’d be a perfect fit.

Reply
Adam
1/3/2019 10:20:58 pm

Just a quickie to say that I'm sorry Jenny has left the show, thought she was really cool on it and fitted in nicely.

Reply
Grembot
1/3/2019 10:39:28 pm

I seem to have missed this happening, was there any particular reason? Regardless she will be sorely missed, I felt she was the representative of the viewer plonked in amongst the chaos.

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Mr Biffo
2/3/2019 06:28:01 am

Jenny has her reasons, but we’re sorry to see her go.

Spiney O’Sullivan
2/3/2019 01:50:42 pm

Games have got a bit easier, but I think it’s easy to forget that they’re also no longer having to use brutal difficulty spikes to provide “value for money” by padding out a 1-hour experience with constant repetition or to keep people stocking coins into arcade machines.

I’ve been playing the Game Gear Sonic games on 3DS lately and finally gave in and used save states to spam my way through the awful first boss of Sonic 2 (it’s harder than the Master System version due to a smaller viewport). I did feel like I was cheating, but also questioned how much actual value I was going to get from repeating the first few acts again to get one-hit-killed by a boss that gives you almost no reaction time. It really makes you question what “difficulty” in games actually means. I’m definitely not sure that repeating easy content only to get back to the sudden spike really constitutes that. It’s basically just grinding, in a way.

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Col. Asdasd
2/3/2019 04:11:25 pm

I think difficulty forms a sort of compact between player and developer, one both parties must uphold to create the ideal outcome where the player doesn't give up or get bored.

Unfortunately while there are very obvious ways this compact can be violated (cheap difficulty, unfair checkpointing on one side, hacking, cheating and exploiting bugs on the other) a lot of stuff in the middle is up for debate. And of course the 'Goldilocks point' of difficulty where the challenge is just right is different for every player.

There's also plenty of cases where removing challenge entirely creates an essentially new game that the player might prefer: for example I'd have no interest in paying Theme Park without infinite horza-derived cash reserves so I could build the park of my dreams. Conversely sometimes people are unsatisfied with the challenges the developer provides, and will feel they've improved games by imposing additional restrictions on themselves.

Not really sure where I'm going with this.. things are better and worse than they were in the early era of games, for the reasons you outline. I tried to get through Super Contra (someone gave me a SNES mini for Christmas) and while I liked it, as you get to the later stages you are encountering almost exponentially steeper challenge, while the ratio of time spent learning and improving to simply getting back to the stage you failed on can begin to get untenable. And Super Contra is almost tame compared to Super G 'n G.

Difficulty is kind of a conundrum at the heart of games design. I don't think you can ever truly solve it... just hope to hit the mark that satisfies the audience you were aiming for.

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severindrax
27/3/2019 10:50:31 pm

For series 2: John "dark room" robertson. his charisma and energy are off the charts. plus, with his flowing blond locks it;ll be like having 2 girls there anyway.

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