Hello, father. Hello, mother. Just a reminder that f you're anywhere near "Wigan" this weekend, and fancy shoving some teletext pixels into your eyes, you could pop along to Block Party 2018. Tickets and details for this celebration of all-things teletextoid can be found right here.
And, of course, next weekend sees most of the Digitiser The Show team travelling up to Blackpool for the Play Expo retro gaming jamboree. Tickets to that - which will include an exclusive Digitiser The Show live nonsense - can be grabbed right here.
Lastly, we are very close now to Digitiser The Show infecting the YouTubes. Suffice to say, if you're a games journo, run a blog, a podcast, or can help us publicise the thing in any way at all... please get in touch at digitiser2000@gmail.com
We've made a TV-quality show on a relatively tiny budget, because traditional broadcasters won't touch gaming. There's your story right there, if you want an angle in.
And now? Now it is time for the lettersSSSSSSSsssssss.
If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, or you've got a picture of a bin you wish to share, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
And, of course, next weekend sees most of the Digitiser The Show team travelling up to Blackpool for the Play Expo retro gaming jamboree. Tickets to that - which will include an exclusive Digitiser The Show live nonsense - can be grabbed right here.
Lastly, we are very close now to Digitiser The Show infecting the YouTubes. Suffice to say, if you're a games journo, run a blog, a podcast, or can help us publicise the thing in any way at all... please get in touch at digitiser2000@gmail.com
We've made a TV-quality show on a relatively tiny budget, because traditional broadcasters won't touch gaming. There's your story right there, if you want an angle in.
And now? Now it is time for the lettersSSSSSSSsssssss.
If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, or you've got a picture of a bin you wish to share, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com
DISNEY RASCAL
Howdy Mr. Biffo. Last week someone mentioned that Disney could buy Nintendo and so I got to thinking; maybe Disney should buy Sega!!!?
It kinda makes sense, they usually buy companies with great potential that are a bit rubbish at business and everything then make loads of money with them by giving fans what they want (with the exception of Last Jedi which was awful).
I reckon Sega is ripe for Disney’s grubby little mitts. Whaddya say Biffo - amiright!?!? If anyone could do their “IP” justice it’d be them. Even get them to make kick ass Star Wars games! Wizard!!!
Anyways, here’s to another weekend on the Stella (and I mean the Lager not the Atari!) prepping my ace JXD s7800 in time for Xmas! Can’t “w8” for the show,Byeeeeeeee
James Walker
PS. Heron are knocking out three packs of paprika TUC biscuits for a quid! Yipeee!
Howdy Mr. Biffo. Last week someone mentioned that Disney could buy Nintendo and so I got to thinking; maybe Disney should buy Sega!!!?
It kinda makes sense, they usually buy companies with great potential that are a bit rubbish at business and everything then make loads of money with them by giving fans what they want (with the exception of Last Jedi which was awful).
I reckon Sega is ripe for Disney’s grubby little mitts. Whaddya say Biffo - amiright!?!? If anyone could do their “IP” justice it’d be them. Even get them to make kick ass Star Wars games! Wizard!!!
Anyways, here’s to another weekend on the Stella (and I mean the Lager not the Atari!) prepping my ace JXD s7800 in time for Xmas! Can’t “w8” for the show,Byeeeeeeee
James Walker
PS. Heron are knocking out three packs of paprika TUC biscuits for a quid! Yipeee!
Disney buying Sega? That seems unlikely, but they'd probably get a cheap deal. At this point in time, what even is Sega? Outside of Sonic, it doesn't really have a brand identity anymore. Which is a bit sad, and probably not all that appealing to a company like Disney.
Also: what is this "Heron" of which you speak? I'm guessing it's some sort of Northern supermarket. Then again, I'm up North twice next week, so maybe I shall get to experience a traditional Northern "paprika TUC".
I just Googled to find out why TUC biscuits are thus called, and apparently it stands for "Trade Union Corporation", after the creator of the biscuits - one "Mr Parein" - saw the acronym in a newspaper.
Also, I just learned that TUC produce a chat show in Pakistan called TUC Lighter Side of Life. According to Wikipedia: "guests have to answer rapidly and later there is a picture segment where the guest have to say the first thing flashing in their mind after the respective picture is displayed."
Also: what is this "Heron" of which you speak? I'm guessing it's some sort of Northern supermarket. Then again, I'm up North twice next week, so maybe I shall get to experience a traditional Northern "paprika TUC".
I just Googled to find out why TUC biscuits are thus called, and apparently it stands for "Trade Union Corporation", after the creator of the biscuits - one "Mr Parein" - saw the acronym in a newspaper.
Also, I just learned that TUC produce a chat show in Pakistan called TUC Lighter Side of Life. According to Wikipedia: "guests have to answer rapidly and later there is a picture segment where the guest have to say the first thing flashing in their mind after the respective picture is displayed."
FUME
I haven't written for a while but after watching two grown men (and a hedgehog) inhale fumes from Sonic's blighted rings and incur lifelong emotional and nasal scarring, Jesus Christ, I think all my expectations for Digi: The Show have been exceeded.
Even if that's the best five minutes of the entire thing, it's been worth it. The only thing that could make it funnier would be learning that it had been everyone's first day on set.
You keep doing you, Biffo.
What? Ask a question so you've got something to reply to? Uh... right. Did you buy anything in that recent Xbox One pixel art indie game sale and if so, what, and if not, do you think they should just stop cocking about and bring back Monty Mole?
If you manage to get this into the letters page on the 19th, fair play to you because I'm sending it at 1.20am on that morning.
Leigh L.
I haven't written for a while but after watching two grown men (and a hedgehog) inhale fumes from Sonic's blighted rings and incur lifelong emotional and nasal scarring, Jesus Christ, I think all my expectations for Digi: The Show have been exceeded.
Even if that's the best five minutes of the entire thing, it's been worth it. The only thing that could make it funnier would be learning that it had been everyone's first day on set.
You keep doing you, Biffo.
What? Ask a question so you've got something to reply to? Uh... right. Did you buy anything in that recent Xbox One pixel art indie game sale and if so, what, and if not, do you think they should just stop cocking about and bring back Monty Mole?
If you manage to get this into the letters page on the 19th, fair play to you because I'm sending it at 1.20am on that morning.
Leigh L.
I do believe that the ring-sniffing happened on Day 2, and it's fair to say it was the point at which I realised that the show was going to work. Frankly, Day 1 was a write-off (though we probably needed it to get into the flow, all but a few bits and pieces of Day 1 have been ditched). Sniff Sonic's Rings isn't even my favourite segment from the series. I think that comes in Ep 4 or 5.
Deliberately, we start out quite gentle, but there's an escalating sense of chaos as the series goes along...
Deliberately, we start out quite gentle, but there's an escalating sense of chaos as the series goes along...
GAMING MILL'S LETTTER
I was going through my Steam and Origin libraries yesterday and was somewhat surprised that I own The Sims 3 and Bioshock Infinite.
As I was living the dream from around 5am on Saturday morning I spent until gone midnight last night playing with both. I've never played Bioshock Infinite before but I remember watching my Imaginary Wife playing it on her laptop a few years ago, and I was quite surprised at how good it looked. Now? It's still pretty nice visually, but it's amazing how far graphics have come along in just under five years.
The Sims 3? What a load of shite. I have no recollection of buying that one either and I really didn't like it... That's why I spent a full eight or so hours playing it with only one break for food all day (I had marmalade on toast).
Whilst playing both I heard a load of children shouting and screaming outside. Half a tree had gone down in the high winds down the road from me. I spent the odd minute or two looking to see what was going on
No less than 18 adults were taking photos and videos of the exciting event whilst the children, under the watchful eyes of their parents, decided it was 'great fun' to play in the horizontal mess. I was somewhat dismayed that they even let them near it, especially as it was still extremely windy and the other half of the tree didn't look too good either.
About half an hour later the police turned up and moved the children from the tree and wrapped it up in that 'car crash tape' that you tend to see around a car in a ditch at 3am. Once they had departed the idiot parents, in their infinite wisdom, went back out to the tree.
The adults pulled all the police tape off and, somewhat bizarrely, had obviously reasoned that the fallen half a tree was safe for the children to play on now that they were all wearing adult-sized fluorescent safety vests. Someone must have bought a job lot of them.
They were still screaming and shouting until nearly 10:30pm last night. They were only called in when a punch-up between about four people started near the tree. I'm glad there's a wall separating my part of the road to theirs.
They're out there now as I type, climbing again sans safety vests this time, even though it is raining considerably. The screaming is just as loud and irritating as yesterday. I'm going to put my headphones on and drown the little buggers out with The Sims 3.
I am ill but strong and that is all.
Gaming Mill
I was going through my Steam and Origin libraries yesterday and was somewhat surprised that I own The Sims 3 and Bioshock Infinite.
As I was living the dream from around 5am on Saturday morning I spent until gone midnight last night playing with both. I've never played Bioshock Infinite before but I remember watching my Imaginary Wife playing it on her laptop a few years ago, and I was quite surprised at how good it looked. Now? It's still pretty nice visually, but it's amazing how far graphics have come along in just under five years.
The Sims 3? What a load of shite. I have no recollection of buying that one either and I really didn't like it... That's why I spent a full eight or so hours playing it with only one break for food all day (I had marmalade on toast).
Whilst playing both I heard a load of children shouting and screaming outside. Half a tree had gone down in the high winds down the road from me. I spent the odd minute or two looking to see what was going on
No less than 18 adults were taking photos and videos of the exciting event whilst the children, under the watchful eyes of their parents, decided it was 'great fun' to play in the horizontal mess. I was somewhat dismayed that they even let them near it, especially as it was still extremely windy and the other half of the tree didn't look too good either.
About half an hour later the police turned up and moved the children from the tree and wrapped it up in that 'car crash tape' that you tend to see around a car in a ditch at 3am. Once they had departed the idiot parents, in their infinite wisdom, went back out to the tree.
The adults pulled all the police tape off and, somewhat bizarrely, had obviously reasoned that the fallen half a tree was safe for the children to play on now that they were all wearing adult-sized fluorescent safety vests. Someone must have bought a job lot of them.
They were still screaming and shouting until nearly 10:30pm last night. They were only called in when a punch-up between about four people started near the tree. I'm glad there's a wall separating my part of the road to theirs.
They're out there now as I type, climbing again sans safety vests this time, even though it is raining considerably. The screaming is just as loud and irritating as yesterday. I'm going to put my headphones on and drown the little buggers out with The Sims 3.
I am ill but strong and that is all.
Gaming Mill
I thought Bioshock Infinite looked a bit dated when it was released. At least, its characters did. Nice production design, but... I dunno. That game was such a disappointment.
Attention: I have not played a Sims game since the very first one. Press reveal to see something I have played recently:
Attention: I have not played a Sims game since the very first one. Press reveal to see something I have played recently:
REVEAL:
TORTS FOR SPORTS
I am struggling to find any sports games I am interested in, and not wanting to be completely limited to emulators, was wondering if you could recommend any worth playing on the modern video-game-console-a--ma-box?
I have very little interest in looking at Ronaldo's goujon-coloured face at the best of times, so FIFA and other big franchised sports don't appeal.
What has happened to the creativity in "sports" games? I remember the likes of Projectyle and an unnamed game a bit like Breakout where it was more fun to try and shoot the other player's head off, causing it to spin wildly while you got a point.
Not to mention Speedball and Speedball 2. Even Archer Maclean's Jimmy White's Whirlwind Snooker was a sensible game without the ego (and more than a touch of welcome silliness)
I can understand triple-A studios wanting to follow the money and stick with the franchises, but whither any alternatives?
I'm going to try a sport I know nothing about like basketball or ice hockey, unless there are any alternatives you might know of ?
It's either put up with Lionel Messi's squaking baek or write that 8 bit game I always wanted to where Premier league teams are forced to play in Hell, while a hallucinating Andy Gray comments on whether the demon at the corner flag will cut your player's legs off or just put consommé on them.
Yours in moc,
John JTM
I am struggling to find any sports games I am interested in, and not wanting to be completely limited to emulators, was wondering if you could recommend any worth playing on the modern video-game-console-a--ma-box?
I have very little interest in looking at Ronaldo's goujon-coloured face at the best of times, so FIFA and other big franchised sports don't appeal.
What has happened to the creativity in "sports" games? I remember the likes of Projectyle and an unnamed game a bit like Breakout where it was more fun to try and shoot the other player's head off, causing it to spin wildly while you got a point.
Not to mention Speedball and Speedball 2. Even Archer Maclean's Jimmy White's Whirlwind Snooker was a sensible game without the ego (and more than a touch of welcome silliness)
I can understand triple-A studios wanting to follow the money and stick with the franchises, but whither any alternatives?
I'm going to try a sport I know nothing about like basketball or ice hockey, unless there are any alternatives you might know of ?
It's either put up with Lionel Messi's squaking baek or write that 8 bit game I always wanted to where Premier league teams are forced to play in Hell, while a hallucinating Andy Gray comments on whether the demon at the corner flag will cut your player's legs off or just put consommé on them.
Yours in moc,
John JTM
Jeez. I never buy sports games. Although, and this may surprise you, I've been toying with getting this year's FIFA. It has been so long since I played one, I've been wondering how they've come on. The last sports game I played was Flick Kick Football on my phone. Anyone want to help "JTM"?
500 Qs OF WHYTE
225) Inspired by your Neo Geo Mini article, of all the consoles that didn't really become popular, which was your favourite?
226) Have you ever thought of an unused licence and thought that a great game could be made from it? If so, what?
227) What is the most frightening game you remember playing and was it too terrifying to finish?
228) Do you think that Peter Molyneux receives too much vitriol from games fans? Obviously I'm not saying that there's a correct volume of ire to receive. He was very frustrating with his over-promising about games - some of which he must have known would not be delivered - but still...
The massive teams needed to create games now must reduce diversity and surely we should celebrate someone like him or David Cage. We might not necessarily like them or their games, bit we'll miss them when they're gone.
John Whyte
225) Inspired by your Neo Geo Mini article, of all the consoles that didn't really become popular, which was your favourite?
226) Have you ever thought of an unused licence and thought that a great game could be made from it? If so, what?
227) What is the most frightening game you remember playing and was it too terrifying to finish?
228) Do you think that Peter Molyneux receives too much vitriol from games fans? Obviously I'm not saying that there's a correct volume of ire to receive. He was very frustrating with his over-promising about games - some of which he must have known would not be delivered - but still...
The massive teams needed to create games now must reduce diversity and surely we should celebrate someone like him or David Cage. We might not necessarily like them or their games, bit we'll miss them when they're gone.
John Whyte
225) I don't know if this counts, but the Dreamcast. I mean, it was the system which finally killed Sega as a hardware manufacturer, so it certainly wasn't as popular as it needed to be. Also, I had a bit of a soft spot for the 3DO, for reasons I don't really understand.
226) I think it's criminal (ha ha) that there hasn't been a really great, definitive, Judge Dredd game. Rebellion needs to give the license to Rockstar, and see what they can do. Beyond that, in terms of unused licenses... hnnnnng-hnnng! I dunno. ARE there any which haven't been milked?
227) The only game that ever scared me was Alone In The Dark. Specifically, there's a bit where I walked into a room, and there was this big, floaty, light-thing. I dunno what it was. It was decades ago. Anyway, it made me jump. I also had real bad nightmares about Castle Master.
228) Yeah, I do think Molyneux gets too much grief. I don't think he ever intended any malice; I always read his "lies" as him just being excited, brimming with ideas. I mean, I'm guilty of it too; there are things that aren't in Digitiser the Show, which we said we'd do, because the whole point of the creative process is having to be flexible, and letting it take you where it wants to go.
Also, some of the kicking Molyneux got - both from punters and the gaming press - just felt like a mob pile-on. Did any of the people laying into him really care?! Five seconds of fun at the expense of someone else's happiness. I think we can be better than that.
226) I think it's criminal (ha ha) that there hasn't been a really great, definitive, Judge Dredd game. Rebellion needs to give the license to Rockstar, and see what they can do. Beyond that, in terms of unused licenses... hnnnnng-hnnng! I dunno. ARE there any which haven't been milked?
227) The only game that ever scared me was Alone In The Dark. Specifically, there's a bit where I walked into a room, and there was this big, floaty, light-thing. I dunno what it was. It was decades ago. Anyway, it made me jump. I also had real bad nightmares about Castle Master.
228) Yeah, I do think Molyneux gets too much grief. I don't think he ever intended any malice; I always read his "lies" as him just being excited, brimming with ideas. I mean, I'm guilty of it too; there are things that aren't in Digitiser the Show, which we said we'd do, because the whole point of the creative process is having to be flexible, and letting it take you where it wants to go.
Also, some of the kicking Molyneux got - both from punters and the gaming press - just felt like a mob pile-on. Did any of the people laying into him really care?! Five seconds of fun at the expense of someone else's happiness. I think we can be better than that.
TWO TIMES A LADY
I am excited two times. Once because Found Footage is coming soon through my letterbox like so many rage stuffed goujons. Twice because Digitiser the show is also on the horizon, like filthy rings on Emerald Hill waiting for Sonic to pick and sniff.
Nice one!
Also:
“Such a soft thing your heart. I don’t mean this like a poem, but like meat in a shop, it’s so soft. But to beat things is important. Your heart doesn’t stop. Such a soft thing your heart. Don’t stop.”
Creaking kisses,
Marc Booth
I am excited two times. Once because Found Footage is coming soon through my letterbox like so many rage stuffed goujons. Twice because Digitiser the show is also on the horizon, like filthy rings on Emerald Hill waiting for Sonic to pick and sniff.
Nice one!
Also:
“Such a soft thing your heart. I don’t mean this like a poem, but like meat in a shop, it’s so soft. But to beat things is important. Your heart doesn’t stop. Such a soft thing your heart. Don’t stop.”
Creaking kisses,
Marc Booth
The Found Footage memorial dog tag USB drives will arrive with us today, apparently, and we'll start sending them out next week (though we're copying all the data over ourselves to save money, as the custom drives were somewhat more expensive than budgeted for, so bear with us). Anyway. That's exciting.
POO RESPONSE
Dear Sir
I always see the tweets asking for letters for Digitiser 2000 on a Thursday lunch time when I am in the toilet having a poo. This week however I saw one on a Wednesday, giving me time to actually write a letter. Unfortunately I haven’t a clue what to write about.
Yours sincerely,
elnikoman
Dear Sir
I always see the tweets asking for letters for Digitiser 2000 on a Thursday lunch time when I am in the toilet having a poo. This week however I saw one on a Wednesday, giving me time to actually write a letter. Unfortunately I haven’t a clue what to write about.
Yours sincerely,
elnikoman
Press reveal for a suggested topic.
REVEAL:
RINGS, SIR!
I have to say that the Sonic rings clip you put out was the highlight of an otherwise dreary day - I laughed so hard I nearly busted a lung.
That said, the whole Digitiser The Show thing seems to have a kind of "Barshens" feel to it (Same people involved, silly games, lovely amounts of profanity based humour). In what way would you say they were different? What makes Digitiser the show unique in your eyes?
(Not a complaint, I also love Barshens!)
Thanks,
Carl Hickbread
I have to say that the Sonic rings clip you put out was the highlight of an otherwise dreary day - I laughed so hard I nearly busted a lung.
That said, the whole Digitiser The Show thing seems to have a kind of "Barshens" feel to it (Same people involved, silly games, lovely amounts of profanity based humour). In what way would you say they were different? What makes Digitiser the show unique in your eyes?
(Not a complaint, I also love Barshens!)
Thanks,
Carl Hickbread
Hnnnnh! I guess it's inevitable that Digitiser the Show might feel a bit Barshens-y, in a superficial way, given that Gannon is there on screen, and the others are involved (albeit to a much lesser extent).
There are certainly worse things to be compared to, but I think the most obvious thing to say is that Digi is about video games (probably more than you might expect given the clips you've seen so far). And, believe it or not, it's not always silly and stupid; we do also try to talk gaming properly.
Plus... y'know... it's being made by a different group of people to Barshens, it's very much a different format to Barshens, with different hosts, and I'm sort of shepherding the whole thing, so I think the format - aside from its level of ambition - will feel very different when you finally see an entire ep.
Put it this way; you've only watched 5-and-a-bit out of 240 or so minutes thus far...
There are certainly worse things to be compared to, but I think the most obvious thing to say is that Digi is about video games (probably more than you might expect given the clips you've seen so far). And, believe it or not, it's not always silly and stupid; we do also try to talk gaming properly.
Plus... y'know... it's being made by a different group of people to Barshens, it's very much a different format to Barshens, with different hosts, and I'm sort of shepherding the whole thing, so I think the format - aside from its level of ambition - will feel very different when you finally see an entire ep.
Put it this way; you've only watched 5-and-a-bit out of 240 or so minutes thus far...
FUEL FOR THOUGHT
I recall reading with amusement many years ago your discussion of the playground habit of gathering around a fight and shouting "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Wouldn't it be odd, you asked, if, at a petrol station, everyone gathered around a car and shouted, "Fuel! Fuel! Fuel!"?
Today I saw on BBC News that a popular Chinese chant of encouragement may well have originated from a situation similar to the surreal one you imagined:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-asia-45890216/add-oil-encouraging-chinese-phrase-enters-english-dictionary
OK, the situation is actually crowds at a Grand Prix, rather than at a petrol station, but close enough.
Relatedly, which is your favourite side-scrolling beat-em-up that features oil drums being thrown as a weapon?
Best wishes,
Dr Martin
I recall reading with amusement many years ago your discussion of the playground habit of gathering around a fight and shouting "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
Wouldn't it be odd, you asked, if, at a petrol station, everyone gathered around a car and shouted, "Fuel! Fuel! Fuel!"?
Today I saw on BBC News that a popular Chinese chant of encouragement may well have originated from a situation similar to the surreal one you imagined:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-asia-45890216/add-oil-encouraging-chinese-phrase-enters-english-dictionary
OK, the situation is actually crowds at a Grand Prix, rather than at a petrol station, but close enough.
Relatedly, which is your favourite side-scrolling beat-em-up that features oil drums being thrown as a weapon?
Best wishes,
Dr Martin
That's all side-scrolling beat 'em ups, right? Let's say... oh, I dunno... Aliens Vs Predator. That's one wacky game!
Goodbye, children. Hello, pilldren.
Goodbye, children. Hello, pilldren.
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