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THE DIGITISER FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

21/6/2019

6 Comments

 
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Important: if you're a Digitiser Live show ticket holder, or you're a backer who RSVP'd for a ticket, please check your emails. If you don't have one from us... please check your spam. If you still don't have one... send us an email to let us know, as we have important Digitiser Live information for you.

If you weren't lucky enough to get a ticket first time around, and would like to come, drop us a line and we'll add you to the standby list. We've had a couple of returns, so you might yet be able to be there. Trust me: you'll be kicking yourself if you miss it.
 If you sadly no longer need your ticket, because you can't make it, also let us know, as we'd like to make it available to others. 

​Thanks to everyone who came to see the Digi crew (plus bonus Ashens) at the Video Game Game Show Show. Doubly good that so many of you there said you'll be at Digi Live.


​If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your dank emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com​​​​​​​​
FIGHT THE FUTURE
I read about something that was due to occur in 2020 but I thought to myself "that doesn't matter, it's years away"... it's bloody NEXT YEAR!

How did this happen? 2000 still sounds futuristic to me, but 2020, I mean that's positively sci-fi.

What's going on?!

I'm so old.
John Veness
I know very much what you mean. I sometimes think this, but then I also think about how weird and sci-fi the world has become over my lifetime - with smartphones, and Snapchat filters, and reality TV show hosts becoming presidents, and vlogging - and then I worry more about the next 40-odd years.

Anyway. Press reveal to see some cool sci-fi:
REVEAL:
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ARMLESS
Areet Biffo Bacon.

Have you ever played Arms? I keep going back to it and keep finding it tedious - I think the design makes me think you’d play it like a Mario Kart but really it’s all tactical. I have other problems with it too but there’s no point getting up in arms (do you see?) about it. 

Is there any first party Nintendo game that you’ve been a particular old grump about despite everyone being all whooped up by it?

On a semi related note, I thought the first Splatoon was the best game on the Wii U. What did you think was the best game on the Wii U?

Neet pet
Grembot
I have played Arms! I reviewed it on here. I liked it, but I didn't love it. For me, the springiness of the titular arms never felt as satisfying as punching someone in the face with a regular-length arm. Splatoon, again, I like but not love. 

​In terms of going against the Nintendo grain, I confess that I don't think I love Mario 64 as much as everyone else does. It was groundbreaking at the time, obviously, but Mario Sunshine nailed Mario in a 3D world much better. 

The best Wii U game? I struggle to remember any Wii U games. I did actually quite like Zombi U, but Super Mario 3D world is one of the best Mario games hands down.
ON LOCATION
Hello sir!

Inspired by something you mentioned on Twitter recently, I was thinking about locations that are significant to the Digi story and its offshoots.

If you were creating a map of the places that played a part in the development of Digi and related TV work, which pins would you put where?

The Teletext offices in Fulham are a given of course, but what about things like where you were angrily instructed to “watch the sneaks, man” by a puffy jacket, first doodled Knife & Wife, or the building where you drew the penis in the Sega PR man’s notebook.

And, you know, places you filmed stuff and that.

I don’t know viable a Digitiser open top bus tour would be exactly; I was just wondering in an idle moment.

While I’m here - thanks for the support you’ve been giving to Chunky Fringe, David Walford’s rather appetising event the day of Digi Live (at which I am “appearing”). It looks like we’ve got a properly great afternoon planned, with lots going on, and everyone is welcome. Full details are over in this place: http://arbitraryfiles.com/events/cf19/index.html

Teletext recovery hero Alistair Cree will be running Chunky Text, a teletext server that anyone can create stuff to appear on during the day, or send to him to add to it in advance.

To do that: he needs content! So-minded folk can get in touch with him at chunkytext@zxnet.co.uk and look forward to their work appearing before an audience of, oh, at least 10 people I should think. It can be anything you like - and given the Digi crowd (*cough*MrPSB*cough*), I shudder to think what that might involve.

And then of course, we have the main event of Digi Live to look forward to in the evening. What a time to be alive, eh? We’ll not see days like these again in a hurry - I can’t bloody wait.
Chris Bell
A Digi bus tour you say? Well... the location of Digi Live is a stone's throw from where I grew up. Indeed, it backs onto the playing field where I used to be forced to play rugby and football on freezing cold days, while my old high school - Hatch End - is just around the corner. That was, 32 years ago, the last place I ever put on a "show" (unless you count Digifest), so it's pretty significant.

My parents' house, where various bits of Found Footage were filmed is just up the road - we even filmed some Biffovision there. You'll very much be in the heartland of Biffoworld on July 20th.
NITEY NITE
Dear Hugo.

I need help with this question, if a kid like me plays Fortnite, what will happen to me?

I just want to know so I can warn everyone about it.

No you don't have to play it to find out.
From the BV Reviewer, who still believes that wasn't a dog​.
I've played Fortnite. Press reveal to see who paid me a visit afterwards.
REVEAL:
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TEXT APPEAL
Dear Sir/Madam,

Many games genres have fallen out of favour, for me the one I miss most is the textual adventure. 

With the advent of greater graphical ability they just morphed into something else. 

One of the best examples was the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy adventure, helped along by it's 
fine literary source.  So if you had to pick a topic to reboot the genre, what would it be?

​Something from TV or Film perhaps?
J. Blanchard Esq
Firstly, you should try playing 80 Days - it's a steampunk "interactive fiction" based upon Around The World In 80 Days, which I loved, and was very much in the text adventure vein.

​The ones I always enjoyed most, inevitably, were the sci-fi ones. And I actually think that the text adventures from my youth have aged better than most games from the early-mid-80s, due to them not trying to replicate arcade-like gameplay.
EAR WE GO
Hello!

I've had The Ballad of Sir Clive Sinclair stuck in my head for several days. It's an absolute bastard of an earworm.

Also, thank you to you (and Sanja!! I know you're reading this!! Hopefully no typos for you to fix here!) and everyone else being so lovely at the VGGSS on Tuesday. I was extremely anxious before the show but you were all absolutely lovely and I am very grateful. I'm also far less anxious for Digi Live now!

Have a wonderful Friday,
Chai (@teacupofchai)​
It was lovely meeting you, young man, and I'm glad we've eased your anxiety a bit. It went both ways, as yours was literally the ONLY laugh I could hear from the stage any time I said something.

Speaking of earworms... Digi Live attendees are advised to familiarise themselves with the following (that's all I'll say...):
WE ARE THE MODS
I know you’re mostly a console gamer nowadays, but I wonder if you’ve ever messed around with modding games or making custom maps? A nice Turner the Worm being sick Warcraft 2 .pud would be great.

Bye for now!
Richard Morrison
I've never really got into it, unless you count trying to program my own text adventures back in the day. I sort of want to get Mario Maker 2, but I'm worried I won't have the patience for it. What are other people's experience of the first one?
GOOCH
Hello Biffee Biffi Biffo Biffum

Having risked a visit to London for the second time this year a couple of weeks back, my luck ran out and I succumbed to my usual dose of 'London ick', a particularly claggy cold that I nearly always manage to acquire, I suppose due to a mixture of abysmal air quality, kamikaze motorists, too many other people and the tube. 

​I'd be delighted not to reacquaint myself with this when down for Digi Live - is Harrow far enough out to mitigate the risk or am I going to need a biohazard mask?

I have been entertained during my convalescence by re-reading 'Don't Pass Go' by a certain Mr Tim Moore - it was only on this second run through that I twigged it was Mr Hairs (ironically, a nickname that currently applies to me as I sound as if I've got a permanent furball down my gullet).  I'd heartily recommend it and will be tracking down some more of his stuff.  Looking forward to seeing him before Digi Live too if I can get there in time.

On this subject of Biohazard, any thoughts on the Resident Evil 2 reboot?  I'm very tempted to get but a tad outpriced at the moment.

Finally, as the cricket world cup is on just a reminder that there was a player called Graham Gooch.  I'm not sure if the phrase 'the bowler's Holding, the batsman's Gooch' was ever uttered on air.

Have a good one and we are enjoying the Digi shorts as ever!
Voiced By Guides
You'll be alright coming to Digi Live. Hatch End - the bit of Harrow where the Arts Centre is located - is quite nice and leafy, and quiet, and as far away from the heart of London as you can get while still technically being London.

I'm glad you're enjoying Mr Hairs' latest. He remains one of my favourite writers, and I'm even more glad he'll be at Digi Live. It wouldn't feel right if he wasn't there. And yes - we'll be roping him into the main show for many nonsenses too.

​Reboots? I dunno. I can take or leave them. I've not played the Resi 2 reboot, so I don't have much in the way of an opinion really. What a cool answer!!!!!!!!!?
VR THE WORLD
I would like to ask you for your opinion on VR. It never really went anywhere in 90's and I couldn't see the Oculus Rift, Vive or PS VR becoming 'big' as it just isn't practical and the novelty wears off fast (the recent Digitiser video was gold, however!).

​They were bigger, saleswise, than I expected, but I still don't see the technology lasting for another two years (apart from training use etc.). It will probably be 're-discovered' somewhere in the mid to late 20's with a few 'hot new apps!' before fizzling out again. Your thoughts on VR?

Regards (Oh and tell Gannon to take it easy every now and then, maybe he'll listen to you),
Ivenne​
I refer the honourable lady to the articles I wrote about the Oculus Quest regarding my recent conversion to the cult of VR. Suffice to say, the Quest appears to have solved most of the issues I had with it.

​As for Gannon... I told him to have a rest, and he told me where to go. Though I'm the last person who should be giving advice on that front. I was in bed at 6.30pm last night, for profound exhaustion reasons.
KRAPTON FACTOR
Dear Mr Be, Fi, Ffo, Fum, I Smell The Bum Of An Englishman.

If you could have one of Superman's powers for 24 hours what one would you choose and why?

Hugs and kisses, ​
Treacle Truffle
I've considered this before, strangely enough. I like the idea of being able to fly, but I'd also want the strength, so I can carry people with me. Though truthfully, the one I'd really like is to be able to eat whatever I wanted, and still look good in just my pants.
BASICNESS
I have no questions, but I do a little story which goes something like this: 

I recently started messing around with Sinclair BASIC to remind myself of the good ol' days, and it didn't take long before 11 year old me popped up and made some classy sprites, which I have attached for your enjoyment!

Yours smirkingly,
Jim Blimey​
Picture
Your lewd Invaders game reminds me of the time my old neighbour, Mr Benson, taught me "how to write music". Basically he'd draw a series of breasts and bottoms, and then I'd have to sing them aloud thus: "Bum-titty-bum-titty-bum-bum-bum".

As far as I recall, he never touched me inappropriately, even though he did work in theatre.
LOOT-NOOT!
Just wondering what your hot take is on EA's rebranding of loot box's as 'surprise mechanics'?

I'm personally not one to purchase such things, and the games that generally include them are so far off my radar I'm struggling to actually think of a time when I've encountered them, yet I still feel uncomfortable with term.

It got me thinking, are there any other shitty practices that could do with a bit of a re-badging? Pay to win I'm sure you'll agree is more palatable as "Costed triumphs" 

Oh and when you tattoo the my name on the dog, can I have left hind leg please?
Toaster aged 45 3/4​
I was unaware of EA doing this, but it's hardly a surprise. I don't think loot boxes, or paid extras of a similar ilk, are ever going to go away, due to the astronomical costs of game development these days. I don't know what other options they have open in terms of recouping cost - not least when massive games like Anthem flop. 

Talking of surprise mechanics, did I ever tell the story of when I had a wheel stolen off my car overnight? I drove off the next morning, not realising - because they'd propped it up on bricks - and the axle chewed up the road. I pulled over to check it, worried that it had damaged my car, and then had the notion to call at the mechanic's garage at the top of the road.

I knocked on the door, and a guy emerged. I asked if he'd come and take a look at my wheel - which he kindly spent a minute or two doing. When I asked if he'd be able to fix it, he looked at me confused and said: "Did you think I was from the garage? No - I work for the chocolate wholesaler next door to the garage"...

​So, not a 'surprise mechanic' so much as a 'surprise chocolate wholesaler'.
GAMING MILL'S LETTER
Quite a few years ago my dad gave one of my sisters a fucked-up record player. I say fucked-up because it would only play one of those record things at 78rpm.

One summer I endured for many hours, and quite ironically considering the time of year, the song Summer Loving at the aforementioned speed. It was one of those record players that had that an arm thing that would start playing it again once it reached the end of the single - a bit like you can do with a CD, only shite.

Through the paper thin walls (that's a bit of an exaggeration, I didn't live in the world of Shenmue) between my bedroom and hers it actually made me go outside for the first time in years. The nightmare of hearing it at full blast and listening to her and her friend dancing like they were of their heads on meth or something was bloody awful.

With that said, I'd love to see a decent remake of Chuckie Egg but with ray tracing... you know, to REALLY show off that 2D beauty. I'm not joking about that.

That is all​.
Gaming Mill
Gaming Mill's stream-of-consciousness, everyone!
THE CODSBY SHOW
You said you needed letters, so I'm throwing my hat into the ring.

Being a lover of old TV shows, I revisited this gaming themed show from 1994 which I vaguely remember: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3hVFow8PC8&t=3s 

Virtually Impossible, a sci-fi themed show from Broadsword Productions, the makers of Knightmare. In fact, Virtually Impossible started the week after Knightmare finished it's final series, so they had a replacement ready in good time.

​It's the same set up as Knightmare, a team of kids guide one of their team, (who has been shrunk into the games), and the team control him, and there were different levels with different games in it too. It was hosted by a crude CGI fish called Codsby, (voiced by comedian Logan Murray), and there were bad guys too and something like that.

It only lasted one series, and from what I can remember, I don't think anyone actually "won" in it's entire run, plus it's not as much fun to watch other people playing computer games. It sank without trace, and was axed after one series. Can either you or anyone else remember Virtually Impossible? Codsby looks a bit creepy too, so no wonder it flopped.

Take care,
Stuart Kenny
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I have no memory of this, but based upon Codsby alone I wish I did. Who remembers that massive budget sci-fi game show presented by John "Not A Pervert" Leslie, that was a bit like Crystal Maze, as directed by Ridley Scott?
THE 500 QS OF WHYTE
376) In your opinion, has computer game box art ever been as important to games as album covers are to music? 

377) Can a game get better with time and if so, what would be an example of such a game?

378) Considering that Fortnite's original form, Save the World, was much-delayed and relatively unpopular, it's incredible to think that a hastily-released Battle Royale mode would become the biggest game in the world, maybe ever and a genuine cultural phenomenon. Can you think of a more unexpected game story than that?

379) Depending on how you choose to measure it, Angry Birds is, by far, the biggest game ever. Despite this it is fallen off the cultural map really quickly. What do you think it's legacy is?

380) What change/improvement would you most like to be made to game controllers?
​John Whyte
376) For me, yes. Which is why I feel it's such a shame that game cover art has become so homogenised and forgettable. 

377) Ohhh... that's a curious question. Generally, I don't think so... but these days, perhaps it can. General consensus suggests that No Man's Sky is finally a great game... but if you replace a broom's handle, and then the head, is it still the same broom?

378) I'm always pretty amazed by the twists and turns of the Tetris story. The way it took years for it to explode on the Game Boy, and become a bona-fide cultural phenomena - like it was just waiting for the right technology - is something else. 

379) The biggest game ever? Interesting suggestion! I played it in VR recently, and it works pretty well, but it's oddly slow - the birds floating when you fire them, rather than having any real sense of velocity. I think it's main legacy is that it proves small games, like Fortnite, can come out of nowhere to become huge. 

380) I'm pretty happy with where we're at controller-wise. I would like some real force-feedback with my VR controllers though; if I hit something with a sword, I want there to be some resistance. Somehow. 
MANA-MAH-NAH
What’s the rarest game you own? Mines probably either my boxed Secret Of Mana on SNES or PSOne Castlevania SOTN. 
Luke Adams
I don't really collect games, so I wouldn't say any of the ones I own are pretty rare. Obviously, I currently own some very rare pre-Mario Nintendo toys. And they're lovely. I should put them on eBay, but they're difficult to part with.
TOP OF THE POPS
WAAAAAAASSSSSAAAAAP Biffo,

(You know, like that Budweiser advert from the olden days).

How’s it going? Long time no write, been busy turning 40 and all that shite and playing all dem ROMs innit. I’ve mostly been playing the original Gameboy Tetris;

I’d forgotten how bloody good that game actually is. It’s nearly as addictive as the ciggies! And I should know! Arf!

Anyway I’ll make this a quick one, I like to do my bit for the Digi, cause by putting the word on the street and telling like minded folk on my favourite forums and sites to look at the channel and website, y’know, because I’m cool like that.

On the flip side I’m gonna ‘big up’ something I’m into on this site because, y’know, sharing is caring and all that shite. I recently and totally accidentally got into a cool songwriter from The Canada called B.A. Johnston, you may or may not have heard of, he sings awesome songs about old video games, beer and ninja movies etc. 

With ace song titles such as ‘I Am a Robocop’ and ‘My Heart is a Blinking Nintendo’ I heartily recommend him to you and other Digi readers.

Look for him on the YouTube -  I’d start with the Gremlins 3 record.
​
Anyway must dash, my hot Nesquik is going cold!
Catch you on the flipside!

Stay Rad to the Max
James Walker
Tetris! Yes, see? It's still great. Also: I listened to that man. He's alright. 
THE EPIC
I very much enjoyed and agreed with your take on modern gaming, and a Twitter/comics friend of mine, Gareth, chimed in about Far Cry and the Blood Dragon novelty ending up being his enduring relationship with the series (despite it's many highs).

And... I see where he's coming from... and agree with that. I mean, I can't look past FC3 as (basically) the best game of its genre, but he's not wrong about Blood Dragon, especially in this context. Even if though there's so much good work in FC3, one has to always remember it's basically a retread of 1 after the horrific second outing. It was also FC1 which, lest we forget, did amazing things with then hardware, no matter your spec. (it had HDR modes before people knew what HDR was).

Three actually did similar, too on the hardware front, but that was the last of their games to be... democratic? Shit, that's the wrong word. Look, it was the right price, it was developed with a very specific control method, and it didn't bounce you for more dosh 6 months later (kind of). I really could go on about how much difference there is between three and four, but ... self control.

Why am I saying all this? Because I'm completely with Paul. It took me a year or two (maybe three?) to fire up Far Cry 4 and I've played about an hour of 5. I didn't actually give up, I just... stopped. I ... I didn't think about it. I had Primal installed, and only recently uninstalled it without a single second of play.

These are nominally AAA games. But I'm just so *done*.

I absolutely won't get started on the over the shoulder third person roam-em-ups which consoles have exacerbated. Seriously, don't, I'm fucking boring.

It's not just this genre, either. Driving needs another Metropolis Street Racer or Mario Kart: Super Circuit. Platformers need another, what, Yoshi's Island, Super Mario Bros 2, maybe even a Sonic (update my references in your heads, readers - if I get published!). Hell, I'm even getting a bit tired of some of the 4X strategy and RTS games that I enjoy (which include Stellaris - COUGH... Empire Interactive's STARS).

Shouldn't VR be doing something? What about Nintendo, weren't they going to change mobile phone gaming? Where's the NEW to make me want to play? WTH, Whole Games Industry?

This all very much could be that it is potentially because there's now just an acceptance that the game that's released is not the final version of any game that exists. Even with great games ... or even console games(?)... I mean, we've all but accepted that Civ VI won't be complete until the 3rd/4th patc... expansion. That every. single. fucking. "free" quake/UT clone (PUBFortwatch) is making gamblers or worse out of unsuspecting players.

And so this all just breeds benign acceptance. We just sigh & buy. Or... er... don't take the bait... and... er... wait?

Some of these games *will* be excellent (or are), but it's increasingly hard to get to where both the value proposition *and* innovation or fun are at a level pegging ((( name of my sex tape ))), and perhaps that's where the real issue is ... we're fucking getting old, innit.

In short: :-(

Best,
Eliot
I said it the other day, but Indie games are where it's at right now for me. Also, as I've said above, I'm finally an acolyte of VR, thanks to Oculus Quest, which has very much given me that buzz of the new I'd been missing. So, well done them. What a difference it makes not feeling sick while playing games...

Right. That's it. The weekend starts.... HERE.

6 Comments
Mr.S
21/6/2019 10:51:48 am

Mario Maker? Lots of fun! I recently managed to offload my Wii U and old Mario Maker so that I can afford Switch Mario Maker 2! Also plenty of throwbacks to Mario Paint (including Gnat Splatting) added to it's charm. Also much easier to use than other level creating things, not at all like the over complicated mess Little Big Planet turned into. Making stages didn't really take a long time and i'd highly recommend you give it a go!

One thing that does irk me however, is that with Wii U I could work on levels on the Gamepad (with the touchscreen) and entertain Mr.J (the wife) as he watched the creations on TV. Now to use the touch screen i'll have to use the Switch undocked so this can't be done - I know they've added two player creating features but we'd have to use the joycons so it won't be as intuative as using a stylus for what is a very stylus based experience.

I've heard rumours you can use Wiimotes with the Switch (haven't touched it much since I finished Mario Odyessy over a year ago, btw this is THE best 3D Mario game hands down), so i'll have to investigate further, but it would cheer me up (and Mr.J (the wife) no end if I find out that you can create levels this way!

Reply
Phil
21/6/2019 11:35:43 am

ARMS: Wanted to like it too but it just didn't gel with me. Sold it shortly after buying it (as in - the next day) due to my fear I would take my frustration out on the Swtitch as I did with Splatoon (which I love); I've smashed several Wii U control pads due to getting beaten online (unfairly) several times in a row.

Mario Maker; brilliant if you have the time and patience. I have neither. Again, sold a couple of days after purchasing.

Zombi U was ace.

Reply
Ivenne
21/6/2019 11:48:02 am

I completely missed your Oculus article (X_X). Will have a read, thanks!

Reply
Android (and not a bloody operating system)
21/6/2019 02:32:50 pm

<i>Scavengers</i>.

Special Difficulty: not very much of it available on YouTube. Most of it: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/Ascyltos/videos">here</a>.

Reply
Lee Chrimes
21/6/2019 07:03:39 pm

Scavengers, that was the John Leslie one. He played his rugged salvage merc character absolutely straight-faced, and the contestants never knew how seriously they were meant to take it. Great aesthetic, terrible execution.

Reply
Hamptonoid
21/6/2019 08:45:11 pm

Blanchard - the Text Fiction app is great, with lots of free downloads. Recommend Hoosegow, very funny.

Reply



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