The Awful Return of The Rapping Shoe

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I’m the Rapping Shoe,
The self-aware loafer,
Please wear me on the street,
But don’t wipe me on your sofa.

I'm the Rapping Shoe,
My raps are sublime,
See how awesomely,
I make this bit rhyme.

I’m the Rapping Shoe,
Watch me rap about games,
I rap them so hard,
They explode into flames.

I’m the Rapping Shoe,
Now heed my word,
A burning console,
Is completely absurd.

To extinguish the fire,
There are steps you must take,
To retard the flames,
Please make no mistake.

Unplug from the wall,
It’s as easy as science,
Now get a damp cloth,
And moisten your appliance.

I’m the Rapping Shoe,
You’ve heard my advice,
I’m a UK size seven,
To be bigger would be nice.

I’m the Rapping Shoe,
You can wipe me on your doormat,
I’m not sure I work,
In this new Digi format.

I’m the Rapping Shoe,
And my raps are a crime,
I'm really struggling,
To make this stuff rhyme.

I'm the Rapping Shoe,
And I'm chill enough to know,
This scans really badly,
And the words barely flow.

I'm the Rapping Shoe,
And in all honesty,
This is probably the last time,
You will ever hear from me.

'Cause I'm the Rapping Shoe,
And I'm full of self-loathing,
I always wished I could be,
Some other form of clothing.

I'm the Rapping Shoe,
And I've got me some pills,
I'm gonna wash them down,
With my rap shoe skills.

Yo!

RIP The Rapping Shoe - 1993 - 2014