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THE APP TREE: THE LATEST SMARTPHONE APPS AND GAMES With Chip Shop Man

21/9/2015

3 Comments

 
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"Alright, mate? What can I get you? What's that? You only came in to ask me to introduce a feature on apps? What are apps when they're at home? Programmes? What, like on the telly? Ohhh, applications. Like, games on your phone? You mean like Snake? Not like Snake - like what then? Speak English, mate. Seriously!

"Soz, I don't know anything about nothing about smartphones or anything like that. All I know is that him at home is never off his iPhone thing.

"Seriously - does he have to take a photo of every meal we eat, and then show it to the world? Gets right on my bits it does. Anyway, now that you're in here though, did you want anything? I just put a couple of bits of cod in the - Nah nah nah! No! Stop fiddling with the chip forks. People have to eat with those."

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GAMES

BEWES CRUISE (iOS/Android £Free)
Have you ever dreamed of being on a boat with the English character actor Rodney Bewes? Then this is the game for you! With Bewes at your side, you have to steer your ship through a treacherous stretch of water, while he distracts you with lines from many of his famous roles, and by repeatedly pulling down his trousers and needlessly doing a blow-off on a tray of moose paste!

BEWES CLUES(iOS/Android £Free)
This fun trivia game is for anyone who loves the English character actor Rodney Bewes, and wants to test their knowledge of him against other Bewes fans! How tall is Bewes? Does Bewes have good eyesight? True or false: Bewes is a prophet?

BEWES'S BRUISES (iOS/Android £Free)
Have you ever imagined punching the English character actor Rodney Bewes in his soft, kindly face? Well, this game lets you live out your fantasy - tap the screen as quickly as you can before the timer runs out, and see your virtual fists fly towards the bewildered and terrified visage of the man who played Clarence in the 1979 film A Spaceman And King Arthur! "Why are you doing this?" he'll cry!

BEWES, DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? (iOS/Android £Free)

What does English character actor Rodney Bewes think he is? Ask this app, and you'll find out! "Bewes, do you think you are an actor?" Answer: "Yes". "Bewes, do you think you are a potato?". Answer: "No". "Bewes, do you think you played the role of Arthur Crabtree in the 1963 screen adaptation of Billy Liar?". Answer: "Yes". "Bewes, do you think you played the role of Luke Skywalker in the 1977 science fantasy movie Star Wars?". Answer: "No".

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UTILITIES

FINDING NIMMO (iOS/Android £Free)
English character actor Derek Nimmo died in 1999, and it's sad to say that most of us have never visited his grave. This polished app will give you directions to his final resting place, while amusing you with sound clips of his most beloved characters, and the laughter of children.

BEWES VIEWS (iOS/Android £Free)
Have you ever wondered what English character actor Rodney Bewes thinks about different things? Just input a subject into the database, and - if he has an opinion on it - the app will tell you what it is! Topics include: science, entertainment, current affairs, sparrows, the slave trade, and robots.

NIMMO OR BEWES? (iOS/Android £Free)
If you're anything like us, you probably often find yourself getting the late English character actors Derek Nimmo and Rodney Bewes mixed up. The next time this happens, just whip out this free app, and get a quick reminder of the key differences between them! 

HERE IS THE BEWES (iOS/Android £Free)
Despite being quite old, English character actor Rodney Bewes hasn't died yet, so it's fair to say that most of us have never visited his grave. This polished app will give you directions to his planned final resting place, while amusing you with sound clips of his most beloved characters, and telling you exactly how far you are from his eventual grave, no matter where you are in the world!

FLIGHT NIMMULATOR (iOS/Android £Free)
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to fly around in an aircraft that looked exactly like the late English character actor Derek Nimmo? Wonder no longer - because this realistic simulator will show you what it's like. You'll get a rush of adrenaline as you come into land at spot-on recreations of famous airfields, while being cheered and applaud by crowds of Nimmophiles!

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
  • THE APP TREE with Mr Nude
  • THE APP TREE with The Flaccid Tramp
  • THE APP TREE with Chip Shop Man


3 Comments
CallMeDave4
21/9/2015 01:16:04 pm

Here's a fun game for Digi fans to play: Try to find the instance of "Derek Nimmo" which should in fact read "Rodney Bewes".
I'm not going to tell you where it is because it's a game! Really! This has nothing to do with Mr B "once again crabbing it up"!

Reply
Mr Biffo
21/9/2015 02:06:40 pm

Found it. IN YOUR FACE.

Reply
gaijintendo
21/9/2015 09:25:07 pm

Delighted to see Chipshop Man back at it, pushing back boundaries. Tomorrow's News!

Reply



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