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THE APP TREE: THE BEST NEW APPS AND GAMES introduced by Zombie Dave.

28/10/2015

4 Comments

 
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"Drrr yrrrrr nrrrrr wrrrrrd grrrdzzzz rrrd rrrrn mrrr trrrrrdz? Rllll frrrrrrrrgn trrrrlll yrrrrr, yrr nrrrrrrzrrrr crrrrrrrnd. Rlllllll thrrrrrz frrrrrrrgnnn lrrrrrrdlrrr trrrrdz rrn thrrrrrrr brrrz wrrrrrthz thrrrr frrrrrgn phrrrrrrrnz trrrngnn zlrrrrfrrz rrrrnd shrrrrrrd.

"Rrrrrrrdz frrrrrrgrrrn nrrrrzrrnzrrzm rrrrn rrrrrmprrrrrnd. Whrrrrrrd rrrz rrr zrrrrzrrrrrdrr crrrmnn trrrr? Rfff rrr hrrrrd mrrr wrrrr Rrrrd hrrrrrf thrrrr rrntrrr crrrrndrr sdrrrlrrrzrrrd. Rrrnrrrr. Hrrrr rrr thrrrr lrrrtrrzd rrrpz frrr yrrr smrrrrdphrrrrnz, you frrrrgrrrrrn crrrndz."

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NEW TESTAMENT OR NEWT ESTIMATE?  (iOS/Android £Free)
In this fun game of skill and Biblical knowledge, players will be presented with a series of quotes, which they must identify as either passages from the The New Testament, or the sort of thing someone might say if they were trying to estimate the number of newts in a river, jar, or fridge.

Example: "The males, having left the natural use of the female, were inflamed by their lust for one another, males with males, committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the recompense which was fitting for their error" (New Testament).... or "I think there are about a hundred in there" (Newt Estimate).

HORATIO'S LARP
  (iOS/Android £Free)

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Admiral Horatio Nelson suddenly reappeared in the modern world, and went live-action role-playing? In this educational fantasy adventure game you can find out at last. SPOILER: He doesn't really understand what is going on, flees the designated site in terror, and gets locked up in a high security psychiatric unit for the remainder of his life, before dying in an unexpected hen broiling brouhaha.

HISTORY'S GREATEST MINSTER  (iOS/Android £Free)
This informative app lists the greatest minsters in the United Kingdom, including all your favourites - York Minster, Southwell Minster, Howden Minster, and Doncaster Minster. Ranking the minsters in four different categories - height, square footage, nice colour, and minster-ness - you'll finally be able to settle those arguments with your friends!

PARMA HAM WILL SEE YOU NOW (iOS/Android £Free)

Who is Parma Ham, and why does he want to see you? This perplexing app will send you texts and emails throughout the day informing you that Parma is not ready to see you yet. You'll be waiting on the edge of your seat for the one message which tells you that yes... yes, Parma is ready to see you now. Unfortunately, it's up to you to work out the how, why, and who of all this... before the cycle begins anew the following day.

THE LOCH NESS MINSTER (iOS/Android £Free)
This charming interactive storybook for children tells the tale of a sentient church, which breaks free of its foundations and drags itself off to live in a Scottish loch. CONTAINS PROFANITY.

BRIDGE OVER TREBLED WATER (iOS/Android £Free)
Three rivers, but only one bridge. Can you solve the problem, before the wee ones drown?

ADELE-O-PHONE (iOS/Android £Free)
A reverse chronological rundown of every phone ever used by the pop singer Adele, and what the deeper meaning of her choice of handset says about her, and her place within the broader socio-political context of our society. Also includes a number of funny answer machine messages from Adele herself, which you are free to prank your friends with!
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POOR TENT OR PORTENT? (iOS/Android £Free)
In this fun game of skill and Biblical knowledge, players will be presented with a series of quotes, which they must identify as either portentous passages from the The Bible, or the sort of thing someone might say if they were disappointed with the quality of their camping equipment.

Example: "A great sign was seen in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars"... or "This is the worst tent I've ever bought".

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
THE APP TREE: BACK 2 SCHOOL GAMES with Mr Nude
THE APP TREE: THE LATEST SMARTPHONE APPS AND GAMES With Chip Shop Man
COMMON GAMER DREAMS ANALYSED - with Belvedere Pollon


4 Comments
Col
28/10/2015 06:13:42 pm

Yaay! Zombie Dave! He really cheers me up.

Reply
Toaster
28/10/2015 09:28:28 pm

you frrrrgrrrrrn crrrndz

Reply
Penyrolewen
29/10/2015 09:19:32 pm

I spend far too long trying to understand zombie Dave. I need to drink more tonight I think- I get him best when drunk.

Reply
Drunken John
30/10/2015 03:41:59 pm

I have gin

Reply



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