Is America great or not? You talk to an American, and they seem to think they're great... and yet you listen to Donald Trump, and it's all about making America great again.
It's hard to know when exactly he's talking about, when he alludes to a great America. The 60s, with the race riots and Vietnam War? The oil crisis of the 1970s? The 1800s with all the slavery and the Civil War? Way back when there weren't any white people there? Dinosaur times?
Frankly, it's anyone's guess.
America can be a bit much sometimes. A bit full on. All that flag-waving and chest-beating... yet somehow they get away with it. When you see the British doing the same thing it just feels a bit embarrassing. But that's us; a nation of apologists.
Let us not forget that today, July 4th, is the country's celebration of its independence from us. The day that Americans proudly state how glad they are that they're no longer British.
Here are ten games which celebrate America's greatness.
It's hard to know when exactly he's talking about, when he alludes to a great America. The 60s, with the race riots and Vietnam War? The oil crisis of the 1970s? The 1800s with all the slavery and the Civil War? Way back when there weren't any white people there? Dinosaur times?
Frankly, it's anyone's guess.
America can be a bit much sometimes. A bit full on. All that flag-waving and chest-beating... yet somehow they get away with it. When you see the British doing the same thing it just feels a bit embarrassing. But that's us; a nation of apologists.
Let us not forget that today, July 4th, is the country's celebration of its independence from us. The day that Americans proudly state how glad they are that they're no longer British.
Here are ten games which celebrate America's greatness.
AMERICA'S ARMY
If you don't love the military, then you're not a proper American. That's the rule. The first America's Army game was published in 2002 - a year after 9/11, when American patriotism ingested a red party cup full of steroids - and was developed by the US Army itself.
Its critics labelled it as a subtle recruitment tool - playing up the technology and excitement of combat, while leaving morality off the table. Since that first release, the software behind the games has been used by the actual US military as a training tool for its troops.
Media theorist David B. Nieborg described the series as a form of propaganda, having a "persuasive agenda" and contributing to the "militarising of society".
He concluded: "In the wake of the ubiquitously criticized war in Iraq, America’s Army’s simple slogans and cliché good-versus-evil dichotomy reifies the ‘myth of war’ as a historical inevitable and justified state operation".
Its critics labelled it as a subtle recruitment tool - playing up the technology and excitement of combat, while leaving morality off the table. Since that first release, the software behind the games has been used by the actual US military as a training tool for its troops.
Media theorist David B. Nieborg described the series as a form of propaganda, having a "persuasive agenda" and contributing to the "militarising of society".
He concluded: "In the wake of the ubiquitously criticized war in Iraq, America’s Army’s simple slogans and cliché good-versus-evil dichotomy reifies the ‘myth of war’ as a historical inevitable and justified state operation".
PATRIOTIC PINBALL
Another game to be released in the patriotic fervour that followed the fall of the Twin Towers, Patriotic Pinball - despite being a pinball game - somehow still manages to equate US patriotism with support for its troops. Two tables are offered, one a thorough tribute to our boys in uniform, and another playing to the romantic myth of The Great American Road Trip. If you can suppress the nausea, it's a fairly reasonably pinball sim.
CHRISTIAN FOUNDERS 3D COMPUTER GAME
What's more American than being a Christian? Not a lot - unless you're a Christian riding on the back of a bald eagle, waving a gun. America was founded on a bedrock of Christian faith, and the Christian Founders 3D Computer Game is "a fun, non-violent 3D game with 24 lessons focusing on the founding fathers of America".
All your favourite founding fathers are included - George Washington, John Adams... even James Madison, whoever that was - and it even features a threatening Uncle Sam on the box, pointing outwards, and declaring "I want YOU to know about the Christian beliefs of our Founding Fathers".
'Kay then.
All your favourite founding fathers are included - George Washington, John Adams... even James Madison, whoever that was - and it even features a threatening Uncle Sam on the box, pointing outwards, and declaring "I want YOU to know about the Christian beliefs of our Founding Fathers".
'Kay then.
FDNY: AMERICAN HERO - FIRE FIGHTER
In the wake of 9/11, fire fighters and police officers were - briefly - almost as heralded as American troops. Unfortunately, fire fighters simply make flames go away, and don't contribute quite as much to the industrial-military complex. Thus, they're now mostly back to being some blokes with hoses.
Still, FDNY: American Hero was in some ways the fire fighter equivalent of America's Army, placing players in the role of a hose-jockey, extinguishing blazes on oil rigs, capsized cruise ships, and in the aftermath of a subway disaster. Instead of guns, your weapon against the flames included various high-pressure hoses, fire extinguishers and axes.
Also: "Enhanced victim A.I. Makes the victims' panicked state a factor in their rescue". Which paints a rather amusing picture of computer-controlled characters running around in circles, howling, with their arms flapping around like untethered air dancers.
Still, FDNY: American Hero was in some ways the fire fighter equivalent of America's Army, placing players in the role of a hose-jockey, extinguishing blazes on oil rigs, capsized cruise ships, and in the aftermath of a subway disaster. Instead of guns, your weapon against the flames included various high-pressure hoses, fire extinguishers and axes.
Also: "Enhanced victim A.I. Makes the victims' panicked state a factor in their rescue". Which paints a rather amusing picture of computer-controlled characters running around in circles, howling, with their arms flapping around like untethered air dancers.
FUGITIVE HUNTER: WAR ON TERROR
America loves to have an enemy. This 2004 first-person shooter had the player hunting down eleven of America's most feared boogie men - including the country's former ally Saddam Hussein, and its then-enemy numero one, Osama bin Laden. Who, rather than the sickly hermit he probably was in reality, was portrayed as a sort of end-of-level boss. Bizarrely, you get to take him on in hand-to-hand combat.
OREGON TRAIL
Famous for being perhaps the only game in history - other than Sonic 3 - where the player's character can succumb to fatal dysentry, Oregon Trail nevertheless had a serious educational objective; to tell the story of the first American pioneers.
Released, originally, in 1971, its various releases have - apparently - sold over 65 million copies. Oddly, despite the looming dystentry - plus starvation, exhaustion, snake bites, cholera, typhoid and measles - it glossed over the threat posed by the understandably irked Native Americans, whose country was being invaded.
The Oregon Trail II even portrayed the game's "nations" as friendly and amenable to the arrival of these settlers.
Released, originally, in 1971, its various releases have - apparently - sold over 65 million copies. Oddly, despite the looming dystentry - plus starvation, exhaustion, snake bites, cholera, typhoid and measles - it glossed over the threat posed by the understandably irked Native Americans, whose country was being invaded.
The Oregon Trail II even portrayed the game's "nations" as friendly and amenable to the arrival of these settlers.
GRAND THEFT AUTO V
Arguably, few game series have nailed the complex awesomeness and awfulness of America as well as Grand Theft Auto.
No doubt, many players fail to realise the satirical nature of the games - perhaps too busy being awed by the Trumpian political incorrectness that has become the series' trademark.
Rockstar's Independence Day DLC for GTA V features assorted vehicles emblazoned with the Stars & Stripes, a patriotic fireworks launcher and historical musket, and a number of Independence Day-themed jobs.
No doubt, many players fail to realise the satirical nature of the games - perhaps too busy being awed by the Trumpian political incorrectness that has become the series' trademark.
Rockstar's Independence Day DLC for GTA V features assorted vehicles emblazoned with the Stars & Stripes, a patriotic fireworks launcher and historical musket, and a number of Independence Day-themed jobs.
SAINTS ROW IV
Saints Row IV didn't take itself too seriously. However - like GTA V - it's possible players didn't realise the disrespect being showed to the tenets of American patriotism.
Not only do you get to play as the president - taking to a huge anti-aircraft gun to blast aliens out of the sky - but additional content is offered in the form of downloadable masks of other presidents; Abraham Lincoln, George W Bush, George Washington, and Barack Obama.
Not only do you get to play as the president - taking to a huge anti-aircraft gun to blast aliens out of the sky - but additional content is offered in the form of downloadable masks of other presidents; Abraham Lincoln, George W Bush, George Washington, and Barack Obama.
CHILDREN OF LIBERTY
An "historical stealth action-adventure", in which the player controls four kids, who take it upon themselves to defeat the British, when their parents are imprisoned.
Though the focus was on fun, the developer took great pains to stress its historical accuracy. It's not quite Assassin's Creed III, but probably has more in the way of charm. Those bloody British!
Though the focus was on fun, the developer took great pains to stress its historical accuracy. It's not quite Assassin's Creed III, but probably has more in the way of charm. Those bloody British!
RED WHITE & BLUE
From the lunatics behind Christian Founders 3D Computer Game, Red White & Blue is described as "An incredibly patriotic flag-waving 3D adventure about the United States flag".
Here it is in their own words:
"It starts with the Pledge of Allegiance and ends with the Statue of Liberty. You will fly, slide, jump, bounce, dodge, search, and solve puzzles in 20 game levels as Uncle Sam. This game will be the hit at any patriotic meeting, rally, or convention. It can be used for promotions and fund raising! Great for use in the conservative school setting, this games actually teachs while being fun. Learn about the history of our flag and its proper display."
Here it is in their own words:
"It starts with the Pledge of Allegiance and ends with the Statue of Liberty. You will fly, slide, jump, bounce, dodge, search, and solve puzzles in 20 game levels as Uncle Sam. This game will be the hit at any patriotic meeting, rally, or convention. It can be used for promotions and fund raising! Great for use in the conservative school setting, this games actually teachs while being fun. Learn about the history of our flag and its proper display."
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
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