It doesn't take much for a bit of a storm to brew up in the games industry, and the people we blame are the ones at the centre of the storm.
These are the ones who break promises, dare to have opinions or personalities, or just look a bit too funny to scrape through life without being abused by strangers.
Fortunately, thanks to social media, it's easier than ever to corral an angry mob to make life more miserable for these ghastly arseholes (assholes) - or "ghastholes" if you so wish.
Thus, here we round up the ten biggest arseholes in the games industry - those most deserving of your crowd-sourced ire.
These are the ones who break promises, dare to have opinions or personalities, or just look a bit too funny to scrape through life without being abused by strangers.
Fortunately, thanks to social media, it's easier than ever to corral an angry mob to make life more miserable for these ghastly arseholes (assholes) - or "ghastholes" if you so wish.
Thus, here we round up the ten biggest arseholes in the games industry - those most deserving of your crowd-sourced ire.
10. BLENNY O'TROUT (Developer)
The angry young man of game development, Blenny O'Trout once made the error of angrily tracking down his Twitter followers, and angrily replaced all the flooring in their homes with cheap carpet tiles, upon which he'd spelled out the word "ANGRY" using moths. When they complained, he poked at them with the base of a gourd. Subsequently, O'Trout has quit the games industry no less than seven times in six months.
9. TAWT I TAW A PUDDY TAT (YouTuber)
Tawt I Taw A Puddy Tat is the most popular Flemish YouTuber in the world. Trillions tune into his channel every day to watch him jabber and squawk wordlessly, while lolling around astride a rocking chair, occasionally shouting the name of a video game and soiling himself. Unfortunately, controversy has dogged Tawt ever since it was revealed that he spent most of his considerable fortune bullying a team of babies to come up with jokes about necromancy.
8. THE RABBI BJURNS (Game designer)
Bjurns has retired from public life after word got out that he once promised to make a treehouse for somebody's orphaned nephew... and then forgot. At his final public appearance, Bjurns was so wracked with contrition that he literally sobbed himself inside out. It took a team of four to spoon his guilty innards back up his cracksie.
7. ZELFIE SCHTICK (Indie game developer)
Zelfie Schtick's greatest crimes include creating a maudlin point-and-click adventure game about getting a tattoo, and riding around on a big bee in order to draw attention to herself, while shouting through a megaphone that it keeps stinging her.
6. JUKE HAZZARD (Games journalist)
This tinselled douche thinks he's more important than the games he's reviewing. Hazzard professes privately to despise his job, yet ponces around like he's some sort of gonzo rock star. His pseudo-profound essays about the cultural impact and psychological subtext of games such as Doodle Jump, Candy Crush Saga and Sunset Overdrive, have made him one of the most sought-after journalists in the business, writing for the likes of Teppanyaki, Rhombus and Brink. He earns £12k per annum, and owns every Amiibo figure and four thesauruses.
5. PRINZY PLEM (PR executive)
Prinzy Plem is the head of public relations for one of the biggest games companies in the world. Should a publication dare to criticise one of her games, Prinzy will change her number and email address. She will then throw a big party and invite everyone but that website, and then "accidentally" call the editor so that he/she can hear the party going on in the background.
4. EGGPLANT TODGERS (Blogger)
Eggplant travels the world for his crowd-funded gaming blog. He visits indie developers in different countries, and naps atop a tarp in their pantry. After winning their trust using a combination of guile and flirting, he asks what they think of his knees, and how their knees influence their development process, and whether not having knees would make a difference to the sorts of games they make. He's currently compiling his writing into a book: People I Have Slept With After Showing Them My Knees (In Relation to Video Games).
3. TRIMM BOYY (Veteran games designer)
Somehow, Trimm Boyy has remained a popular figure in the games industry, despite only ever having released one game: a clone of Pong for the ZX Spectrum, in which the ball was replaced by a swastika with a cartoon face (later defending himself by insisting it was a four-legged spider with broken knees which just happened to have a Hitler moustache). Nevertheless, Trim Boyy remains in the spotlight over his outspoken support for rotters.
2. WHIM WHIMSEY (Formerly retired games journalist)
This madcap idiot continues to struggle for relevance and trade on past glories, despite being 74 years old. His wacky games blog continues to be ignored by the games industry at large, leading to him writing bitter "comedy" listicles in which he can vent his frustrations, particularly towards those who chose to unfollow him on Twitter.
1. ADMIRAL WATERMELON (CEO)
The head of one of the biggest games companies in the world, Watermelon has recently stoked the rage of the company's fans, by locking his star producer - Egg Neil Bert Humperdinck - in a cupboard, and refusing to let him out to finish the latest instalment of his popular game series. When questioned about the controversy, Watermelon lay face-down on the floor with his arms at his side, and rolled away up a dune without saying a word.
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