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THAT WAS THE BLOCK PARTY THAT WAS - BY MR BIFFO

3/10/2016

38 Comments

 
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After all the stress of the last couple of weeks, I woke up on the morning of Block Party - admittedly, at 4.30am - entirely stress-free. Everything we needed to happen had fallen into place - though much of it coming down to the wire.

The week before Block Party was a series of potential disasters, averted by last-minute interventions. Come Saturday, I knew that we'd done all we could, and if things went wrong on the day we'd deal with it somehow.

Indeed, things did go wrong: the food van we'd booked didn't show up. It was completely unavoidable: there had been a death in the family, so I suspect the last thing they wanted to do was serve burgers to us nerds while grieving.

​As predicted, we dealt with it. Or rather, my daughter Hayley, and our compere supreme Chris Coltrane, dealt with it - coming up with a plan to order a job-lot of pizzas, and sell them for a couple of quid a pop, on an honesty box system. Any profit went straight towards our charity raffle fund. 

This did mean a rejigging of the evening section - the Digitiser panel had to be cut short (we were very conscious that a lot of the audience needed to catch trains) before we even got to the part of the story where Tim got fired. Still so many stories left untold. But that's getting ahead of myself.
WHAT TIME? DAYTIME!
I wasn't able to get to all the daytime panels - I was too busy stood at the Digitiser merchandise stall, or chatting to people - but I understand they went well.

The day was quieter than hoped, but it worked in our favour when the schedule started overrunning; it meant we could drop the second of the designers' panels.

That was my first sort of official part of the day - talking with Dan Farrimond, and my old Teletext/Ladbrokes/School friend Steve Horsley. What the teletext fans in the audience made of my appalling, rambling, tangential anecdotes about Danny Taurus's wig and my old art teacher's funeral, is anyone's guess. Sorry. I can't help myself.

Once 5pm arrived, the place started to get busy, and we stopped worrying about whether the cavernous main hall was the right location for the evening activities.

I was doing my best to chat to as many people as possible, while also trying to help get a stage set up, with a video screen, prepare for the quiz and panel, and then deal with the bombshell that our food wasn't going to arrive as planned. 

I can't stress enough the effort everyone in the team put in - particularly Sanya, Chris (with his bag of snacks for everyone) and Hayley, plus the guys from the Centre for Computing History. They're all the real unsung heroes of the day - and it's because of them that everything ran relatively smoothly.

Given how much could've gone wrong - and a BBC Model B did explode at one point - tempers never got frayed, and everyone stayed in a good mood. As frantic and frenetic as the evening became, it remained, at every stage, utter fun. Even the pizzas, I think, brought us all together in a sort of Blitz spirit.

Everyone I spoke to - and I could scarcely walk two feet without being stopped for a chat - seemed to understand that I was always within about 30 seconds of being pulled away to deal with something. Nobody tried to monopolise me.

Which was lovely of them, but also a shame, because I wanted to talk to everyone as much as possible. Thank you to those who made the effort to be there - we even had a couple come from Scotland just for Digifest.
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SIGH-BORG
The first big sigh of relief came when the videos were screened - originally we'd planned to run the spoof ads into the Digitiser pages montage - but we decided to have a break (again, at the suggestion of Chris Coltrane) so that people could eat, before we ran the montage, straight into the Digitiser Q&A. The videos got laughs. 

​They also got lots of baffled/appalled looks. And that was exactly what I wanted.

I've been working on the videos for months now - since the start of the summer - so to see the work pay off was a huge relief. Please share the YouTube compilation if you can (I'll get the other bits of videos up at some point for you). If they're popular online, I'll try and do more.

By this point I was starting to flag, but being on stage with Violet and Tim for the first time ever - ably hosted by Chris - remained a joy. I just wish the panel could've gone on longer, as planned. We'd barely scratched the surface of Digi's history, before we had to stop, to get set up for Quiz-Me-Do. 
PUTTING THE BOLIC IN SHAMBOLIC
I expected Quiz-Me-Do to be shambolic, and that we'd be winging it as we went. I also expected to be a bit nervous - having never done anything remotely like it, and not seeing myself as a performer. Somehow, I had no nerves whatsoever. Public speaking I've done a fair bit of, but public performing is something new. I had no idea how I'd handle it. In the event... I loved every single second of Quiz-Me-Do.

The first winging it came when I realised that there was absolutely no room on the stage for my big entrance (matron). I had to ditch my Mona Lisa dance routine, which I'd come up with before I left for Cambridge that morning. The audience interaction with "Moc-Moc" ("A-MOC!") went well, and I got a laugh for the "It'll be fine for what it is" joke. 

By then I could relax - albeit not enough to stop me ballsing up my very first puntroduction, or melting to death in that ruddy sequinned jacket (I thought too late of an hilarious "What an unfortunate sequins of events" joke about my profuse sweating). 

Once I saw YouTube hero Ashens frantically scraping at John Romero's hair with a brush, I knew it was all probably going to work, one way or another.

The rest rolled along nicely, seemingly with many an unplanned surprise: hotdogs being thrown around the stage with abandon, Carl Attrill's impromptu rendition of the Quiz-Me-Do theme music, and Chris Coltrane's remarkable Wargasm mime, and him terrorising a gentleman in the front row by screaming "QUIZ-ME-DO!" into his face.

Sanya and I had spent the past month and a half brainstorming game ideas - if you weren't there, you missed the following:
  • Stuart "Ashens" Ashen crawling around on his hands and knees, looking for lies written by Julian "Jaz" Rignall, which had been stuck to the underside of audience members' chairs. And then feeding them to Jaz, while we all shouted "Eat it, pig".
  • As mentioned, Ashens brushing baby turtles out of John Romero's hair.
  • Chris Coltrane wearing an Elizabethan ruff and pantaloons, while shooting bad ideas out of Peter Molyneux's forehead.
  • The entire panel playing Sniff My Ring - a game in which they had to smell Sonic's tainted gold rings.
  • Tim and Violet playing The Streets Run Red With British Blood - in which they had to "bleed" Lord British, while the audience chanted "Blood! Blood! Blood!".
  • YouTuber Mentski in his blacked-out gas mask, throwing slugs at the eyebrow-less visage of Shigeru Miyamoto.
  • ​The sight of TV legend Violet Berlin fisting Mario's box.
  • And much more, that is impossible to describe, or best left for when the video goes online.
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CLOSE DOWN
As soon as Quiz-Me-Do came to a close, my brain shut down. It was like crossing the finishing line of a marathon, and just collapsing.

I rambled through the special thanks - mumbling my way through thanking our sponsors Open Broadcast Systems, and forgetting the likes of Louise and Alex, who spent the entire day filming, and Chris Jerden-Cooke, who composed the brilliant Quiz-Me-Do theme. I know he didn't want me to point him out, but... well... I'm doing it here whether he likes it or not.

I almost forgot to thank the GamerDisco chaps, but failed to mention Steve for coming along and sharing the designers' panel with me, and I probably didn't say how much I appreciated Tim and Violet being there - three of my oldest friends, none of whom I see enough of.

I also can't remember if I stressed exactly how brilliant Jason and the Centre's staff were on the day. Every request we threw at them they tried to accommodate. I doubt the museum - which you should all visit, because it's brilliant - has ever seen anything quite like it. 

And I don't know if I stressed how much Dan Farrimond contributed to the weekend - it was his enthusiasm, positivity, and general encouragement which has helped sustain me through the whole organisation of the event. And, indeed, Dan was the first person who knew that I was sort of bringing Mr Biffo out of retirement. Dan also organised ALL the daytime schedule, and pulled everything together. He's a hero.

Suffice to say, if you'd told me two years ago that I'd one day be hosting a teletext and Digitiser festival - with some of the old Board of Biffo members as attendees - I'd have literally laughed myself into a coma.

The fact that everyone has been so bloody lovely since I brought Mr Biffo back, been so supportive, and has said so many nice things to me over the last couple of years, gave me the confidence to stage this event. Not only stage it, but get up in a gold sequinned jacket, and arse around for an hour. I'd worked so hard to withdraw from any spotlights, that it's difficult to even comprehend reaching this point.
CRASH
By the time Block Party was over, I'd been awake for near 20 hours, and on my feet for 16 of those. Suffice to say, yesterday I crashed hard, passing out on the sofa for four hours. I'm still shattered today - and, oddly, have lost all feeling in both my little toes.

It's a weird, surreal, and blessed life when you get to do something, or have done something, where people tell you it's important to them, or influenced them. All of you - and you know who you are - who said something to that effect on Saturday... it is so appreciated. Even the guy who told me he didn't expect me to be - and I quote - "such a hulk". 

​I loved the day, I loved putting the videos together, and I loved hosting Quiz-Me-Do, but we did it for the people who bought tickets - and I hope everyone who came felt it was worth it, and that they had a good night out. I'd love to hear from you - not least because we're going to do another one. No question.

​Maybe next time we'll have worked out how to actually make a profit...
FURTHER READING:
CHRIS COLTRANE'S WEBSITE
GAMERDISCO
MPEGASUS
​OPEN BROADCAST SYSTEMS

CENTRE FOR COMPUTING HISTORY
KARAMOON'S FUNDRAISING PAGE


38 Comments
Ste Pickford link
3/10/2016 12:08:51 pm

Are you sure he didn't say, "such a hunk"?

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Mr Biffo
3/10/2016 12:12:03 pm

Highly unlikely given the stress-eating in the last few weeks.

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GP
3/10/2016 12:26:33 pm

Man, that was me. I was so drunk in the end I could barely speak, I extracted myself shortly after that awkward exchange. Sorry Mr Biffo! I simply meant much more physically imposing than I'd imagined, not in a negative way. I remember feeling compelled to shake your hand and say what an important role your work has had on so many, but I couldn't spit the words out.

Quite embarassed now, I was hoping that wouldn't be a memorable conversation. I went over the tipping point of drunkenness before I realised what I was doing.

But what a great day and what a wonderful bunch of people. No (barely any) regrets!

Mr Biffo
3/10/2016 12:36:14 pm

Ha ha! There was no offence taken. It was funny. You were incredibly lovely, and even apologised for being drunk. Which you didn't need to do. I would've been as well, given the chance.

Lofty from EastEnders
3/10/2016 12:18:06 pm

That lobbed hotdog hit me right in MY hotdog, and I'm not even kidding. -- it literally thumped my thumper. I yelped. It then landed on the floor, and someone next to me threw it back on stage. I was very much hoping someone would eat it, because that would've seemed like a fair penance. But no-one did. No-one ate the hotdog.

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Lofty from EastEnders
3/10/2016 12:19:33 pm

By the way, was anyone else very slightly scared by the drunk man at the back who pressed Tim about his car or something? I later found out he'd been on the 6% cider all day.

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GP
3/10/2016 12:27:16 pm

That was me. I'm very embarassed.

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Lofty from EastEnders
3/10/2016 12:40:45 pm

Hoho. That's okay. I was 20ft away from you. But I did consider making it 30ft ;)

Chris Wyatt
3/10/2016 09:32:10 pm

If I'd gone, there probably would have been one drunken idiot too many. I was toying with the idea of going and it was something that had crossed my mind...

All day event. Bar. Over-excitement. Potentially lethal combination.

Paul
3/10/2016 12:31:55 pm

I really had forgotten the Lucky Luke “blistered hands after hastily pulling off a pair of chaps” line until Quiz-Me-Do reminded of me. I doubt stuff like that would have been signed off now - people check things a lot more carefully these days. I expect we have Mr Biffo to thank. This is His Ultimate Legacy.

Well done all for a great day - I look forward to the next one!

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Andrew Gillett link
3/10/2016 12:39:45 pm

Great evening. I'm the one who shouted "Hard Drivin'" - couldn't resist, as it looked like they were never going to get it, and it was such a good mime. I was going to introduce myself as the person who worked on Dog's Life, but it was so late and there were so many other people waiting to speak to you.

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Mr Biffo
3/10/2016 12:42:20 pm

Ahh... I saw you were there, Andrew. Sorry we didn't get to chat. Next time!

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Super Bad Advice
3/10/2016 01:08:09 pm

It was a splendid day all round - topped off by a suitably bizarre and humiliating incident where I got the wrong stairwell in my airbnb place and attempted to get in through my landlady's bedroom patio door, only to have her partner wake up and say 'I think you have the wrong place' in an absurdly polite manner given he'd just been woken by a drunk stranger.

5-star feedback on the way, obviously...

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Starbuck
3/10/2016 01:11:59 pm

A few personal odd standout moments bobbing around in the sea of good memories:

Still being shit-hot at Atic Atac.
The Quiz-Me-Do button.
72%
Dave "Games Animal" Perry.
The truth about the reversible sedgwick.
Winning the perfect phone holder/locator in the raffle.
"Fist, fist, fist, fist...".

Regrets:
Not thanking everyone involved in day and for everything Digitiser has meant to me.
Not wanting to bother Biffo, Sanya or Hayley for a t shirt once the merchandise had ended. They needed a break.
Trying to explain to my wife who Zombie Dave was and why he is funny.
The persistence of the Quiz-Me-Do music...

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Mentuss link
3/10/2016 05:22:26 pm

I've always found that if you have to guess a review score, saying 72% is right 72% of the time.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
3/10/2016 07:03:54 pm

But Sonic 3 is in the other 28%. Obviously.

Sanya2000
3/10/2016 07:51:23 pm

Oh no, I'm so sorry Starbuck! I would have loved to get you a t-shirt even after the stall closed! Loads of other people came and got stuff. I only packed up because I thought nobody else was going to get anything. We'll be putting the merchandise up on the website shop soon, but in the meantime feel free to send us an email at digitiser2000@gmail.com saying which shirt and size you are after and I can send one out to you.

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Starbuck
6/10/2016 09:52:38 pm

Cheers Ears (Sanya). I'll PayPal you over the weekend (when I'm on a proper personal computer) and drop you a line of code to let you know that it's done.

Quizton Pook
3/10/2016 01:12:46 pm

QUIZ-ME-DO!!

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Chris
3/10/2016 02:38:30 pm

QUIZ-YOU-DO! PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! *SOB*

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Spiney O'Sullivan
3/10/2016 02:52:16 pm

Someone please just quiz-him-do!

Chris
3/10/2016 02:35:11 pm

I was the gentleman (very polite of you, Mr B) being terrorised in the front row. Not quite sure how to respond, I ended up shouting "Quiz-you-do" in an attempt to make it stop. I've been having nightmares ever since.

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Mentuss link
3/10/2016 05:25:49 pm

Nightmares, you say? You're lucky.

I've not been able to dream ever since... I don't think my subconscious can match anything I saw this weekend.

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roboJamie
3/10/2016 06:12:55 pm

Well I only got there about 1pm, but I loved the whole day, it was excellent from when I arrived to when I left. When it came to the time to book my taxi to Cambridge station I actually texted my wife to ask if it was okay to book a Travelodge so I didn't miss quiz-me-do, but luckily (unluckily) my sensible chip kicked in and I instead left for the last train and wasn’t in the doghouse for a week.

The computer museum venue itself was truly the perfect place to have DigiFest, so good thinking whoever came up with that one. They’re doing a great job there - I wish I had something to contribute, but they’ll be up to their eyes in Spectrums and Acorn Electrons already I imagine.

A few points:

1) I'm not as good at Streetfighter 2 as i thought. Oliver handed me my ass a couple of times. Usually knowing how to block wins games against strangers - not at Digifest though. I should’ve expected that.

2) I had some informative and funny chats with Terry & Alexander while in the queue for the bar, good friendly guys. Nice beer on tap too, by the way. Did it all get finished?

3) Violet was lovely, she seemed to have time to talk to everyone and was just an all round cool person. That was a crazy story about her surname, Dan truly hit the jackpot asking that question.

4) Sorry for the Sean Murray / No Man's Sky question. He wasn't really in attendance (although that would've explained his recent disappearance from the web.)

5) You (Mr Biffo) were naturally funny and charismatic, which was a relief - I'll admit I suspected you might just be 'keyboard' funny. :) In fact all the panelists contributed really well. Except for that bins guy.

6) Was your art teacher's nickname Gay Breath or something much, much worse? (RIP Mr Galbraith)

So in summing up, it will be an opportunity lost if there is not a Digifest next year. Even if it's just a get together in a London boozer or something similar, don't lose the momentum of a fantastic day!

Cheers
Jamie

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Mr Biffo
3/10/2016 07:02:13 pm

Thanks, Jamie - and everyone. Sorry you missed Quiz-Me-Do - but it'll be online soon. Wonderfully, both Tim, Violet - and all the guests I spoke to - said they'd be there for the next one no matter what. Indeed, at breakfast the next day we already started making plans. Relief to know that I wasn't just keyboard-funny on the night as well! That is very kind of you to say. And probably a bigger relief to me than to you...

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Mr Biffo
3/10/2016 07:03:35 pm

And as for number 6)... well... my lips are sealed.

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Timmy(couldn't attend, sad face) poos
3/10/2016 09:06:33 pm

Haha! How would one possibly find one'self with sealed lips Mr Biffo? You filthy cow.

Spiney O'Sullivan
3/10/2016 07:19:39 pm

I also learned that Digi readers are some hardcore Street Fighter 2 players. Thank goodness that machine was free or I'd have lost a fortune in 50ps. I might have had a better chance at Third Strike since barely anyone plays that...

Also re: point 3, Violet was really nice in person, and it was great to get to meet someone who a young me regarded as the very personification of early 90s coolness (punk hair! leather jackets! videogames!). It was also interesting to hear just how important she was in Digi history. I remembered her columns, but didn't realise just how much else she did for the page, and the tale of how she met Biffo and Hairs was great.

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Oliver Wright
4/10/2016 08:09:58 am

That free-to-play SF2 arcade was the icing on the cake of the day... good games!

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Frank Chickens
3/10/2016 07:07:35 pm

I had a great time!

Found the Teletext panels interesting and the video was the perfect precursor to the lunacy of Quiz-Me-Do especially the part with the smelly rings. It was an honor and a pleasure meeting your good self and the delightful Violet and enjoyed having the opportunity to talk to you both. The icing on the cake was winning a prize on the raffle.

It was a shame that everyone who wanted to go couldn't attend as they missed out on a great day.

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Mr Biffo
3/10/2016 07:09:12 pm

All these lovely reviews - and getting to have met so many of you - make the months of planning worthwhile.

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Penyrolewen
3/10/2016 08:17:08 pm

Sounds great, wish I'd been there. Well done for all the hard work and planning etc Biffo. I'm in Devon so Cambridge was a bit far but I'll see what I can do next time. I'm not jealous at all, honestly.

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Chris Wyatt
3/10/2016 09:28:43 pm

Lost the feeling in your little toes? Perhaps all the experience you've gained has caused you to evolve (Pokémon style); they'll probably fall off in a few days.

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Ian Snow
3/10/2016 10:28:09 pm

To echo all of the above, I had a brilliant, surreal time at Digifest getting to meet two of my heroes - as both a Digitiser nerd and huge fan of Tim's travel books, it was a bit of a double whammy for me (I loved getting my signed copy of Tim's latest work and chatting about his back catalogue; I fear I may have been embarrassingly fanboyish). And though I only managed a brief hello with Mr Biffo as he cleared the chairs away at the end of the night, it was still great to be able to say thanks in person.

As to the evening events - pizza, panel, and Quiz-me-Do - well, I've never had a Saturday night like it. Goujon John was the main topic of conversation in the car on the way home - that, and my friend explaining all the computer game jokes that went over my head.

Please do it again, Biffo. Come to Birmingham, maybe - we're easy to get to and need a bit of light relief after the Tory conference!

Cheers, Ian.

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Dan v
3/10/2016 10:31:29 pm

It was a great day! Thank you to all that made it happen!

I found the day time very interesting based on what I've now learned about Teletext/Ceefax and the background of it. Seeing Jason recover pages from old tapes made me think "WTF! Is this sorcery!" many times.

Steve and yourself were enjoyable to watch on the panel, and I have since found the mentioned Youtube video it is all a bit strange thinking "That guy taught Mr Biffo and Horsenburger!"

I got my Pi kit to make Teefax appear at home which is cool, and made the mistake of starting to read my new book at work today and thinking "I better leave this at home and read it there".

The calendar is great and I keep chickening out to text the telephone number in case it is a real number.

I loved Quiz-me-do! But those rings, I swear they've damaged my ability to smell. The video was great and from what I've learned about the background of making it, I need to congratulate you on how fantastic it was as I know how hard you worked to put it together.

Finally I can't believe those guys touched Mr.T's Bins!!!!

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Oliver Wright
4/10/2016 08:18:12 am

Fantastic day, thanks hugely for putting it on. Interesting to see that if the displays on many of the computers there are anything to go by, Digitiser fans are the world leaders of "10 PRINT SOMETHING 20 GOTO 1O"-style BASIC programs. We're basically Mr Robot.

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combat_honey
4/10/2016 02:23:05 pm

I wasn't able to come, but I'm thrilled the day was such a success and the videos are indeed wonderful.

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Ian
6/10/2016 04:57:20 pm

If there's one next year, I'm coming. Oh yes.

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