DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

TEN THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT SIR CLIVE SINCLAIR

1/8/2017

14 Comments

 
Picture
Sir Clive Sinclair was the King of Inventing.

Without his genius for making small, black, boxes that were more or less affordable we'd never have had the ZX Spectrum - and the computer game boom of the 1980s. Sir Clive may not have imagined he would ignite the imaginations of countless bedroom coders, but by design or accident his beautiful device brought joy to millions. 

​Here's a brief tribute to the great man - along with ten things you might not have known about him.
THE INVENTION OF THE SINCLAIR C5-B
Picture
Sir Clive's Sinclair C5 might've been one of his biggest commercial failures, but that didn't discourage him from trying again. He went back to the drawing board and created the Sinclair C5-B; a high-tech dancin' shoe in regulation Sinclair black.

Once placed on the wearer's left foot, the shoe would shoot an electric current into its owners leg, causing them to jerk and gyrate spasmodically.

The sound-activated electric pulses would fire in time to music, making the wearer appear as if he were dancin' - thus impressing any nearby blonde ladies, providing they didn't notice his involuntary grimacing.
HE LIKES WARM BICYCLE SEATS
Picture
When he wasn't busy inventing things, Sir Clive would wander the streets of Britain's towns until he spotted a cyclist. He would then follow the cyclist until they dismounted, and then place his hand on their still-warm seat, muttering things like "Mmmm" and "Yes... yes...". If the cyclist was a blonde lady, he would enjoy The Warm for thrice as long!
HE WAS IN A COOL GANG
Picture
At weekends and in school holidays, Sir Clive would knock for his friends Smeagol and Jeremy Wires. Together they were members of The Red Bike Frame Club, and would dream up sweet inventions in Smeagol's cave, then head out on adventures to spy on Jeremy Wires' blonde mother, despite Jeremy's many protestations that it "Felt wrong somehow".
HE COULDN'T STOP HAVING IDEAS
Picture
Sir Clive found it impossible to switch off his brain - even on the lavatory! Here he is doing a nice big poo in the bathroom of his palatial mansion, while coming up with the idea for the Sinclair QL.
HE COULDN'T BEAR TO LOOK AT PETER STRINGFELLOW
Picture
Envious of the sleazy tycoon's many, many highlighted hairs, Sir Clive would squeeze shut his eyes whenever Peter Stringfellow entered the club. Suffice to say, this was not something Sir Clive did lightly, knowing that he was surrounded by blonde ladies.
HE WAS ALWAYS WAITING BY THE PHONE FOR YOU TO CALL
Picture
Why didn't you call him? Was it something he'd said? Just one call was all it would've taken. C'mon - why didn't you ever give him that call?!
HE WAS ALWAYS EMERGING FROM THE DARK TO CHEER YOU UP
Picture
Cheer up, love; you're a redhead, and possibly a male hippy. Either way, he's no threat to you!
HE DIDN'T ALWAYS THINK THINGS THROUGH
Picture
Sir Clive's pocket TV was a great innovation. Unfortunately, the tiny speaker meant that in order to hear the thing you had to place it against your ear - making it impossible to see what was happening on screen!
HE WAS A BIG LEO SAYER FAN!
Picture
Sir Clive rarely felt like dancin' unless there was a blonde lady nearby. The exception was when he heard the beautiful music of 70s pop icon Sir Leo Sayer, whose songs included You Make Me Feel Like Dancing - which could've been written about Sir Clive's own attitude to the song!
"I'VE GOT A BOMB!"
Picture
A notorious practical joker, one of Sir Clive's favourite pranks was to board an aircraft with one of his inventions, hold it above his head, and claim that it was an improvised explosive device. This prank worked fine until the day Sir Clive tried it with a Sinclair C5; the three-wheeled electric vehicle was so heavy that he dropped it on the head of Sir Alan Sugar, killing him immediately!
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
REMEMBERING THE OTHER INVENTIONS OF SIR CLIVE SINCLAIR
​
IT'S NOT FOR US TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH THESE AWKWARDLY POSED PHOTOS OF SIR CLIVE SINCLAIR...  BUT YOU MIGHT WANT TO SHOW THEM TO YOUR DENTIST
​
A SPECIAL GALLERY OF SINCLAIR USER COVERS...
14 Comments
John Veness
1/8/2017 10:31:58 am

Redhead male hippy appears to have two tape drives in front of him. Is he doing tape-to-tape piracy right in front of the master himself? Daring!

Reply
Peter Goldtop
1/8/2017 10:43:16 am

Is that Jo Guest with the hand-bra?

Reply
Mayfair Reader
1/8/2017 01:40:36 pm

No, her limbs are too long

Reply
Gosunkugi Marles
1/8/2017 04:42:35 pm

My favourite thing about that pic isn't pseudo-Jo hand bra, or even Clive himself, it's the gentleman just out of shot on the left in the fetching sweater. He looks like he's still tucking into his grub.

Imagine having to share a table with Sir Clive, Clive! Sinclair and right as you're cutting into your overpriced but underdone steak with a blunt table knife a nearly naked dolly bird walks up and starts gyrating right behind you. This guy though, talk about focused. She's all over the shop, Clive's massive erection has pushed his chair a full two feet away from the table, his steak is going well cold! But sweater guy, he doesn't give a shit. Legend.

Reply
Spiney O'Sullivan
1/8/2017 08:26:37 pm

Doubt it. If I recall right, she was more of a Sega person.

Reply
DEAN
1/8/2017 10:44:43 am

Think about it, though -
He himself is a very fair man and if I know anything it's the rules of attraction:

1 - Posture
2 - Weigh up the pros and cons before committing to any given ISA
3 - Opposites attract

The 3rd one is particularly crucial here but just to quickly degrade point number 2 a bit first - the same advice clearly applies to any financial product or service. Look at bonds or whatever in the same way you would if you were considering rival small animals at a breeder's home - navigate these seas with caution and don't be afraid to shout excitedly and walk away. You have nothing to lose and the ferrets (insurance policies) will inevitably still go to a good home no matter what.

But never mind all that now - We've all heard the bollocks - gentlemen prefer blondes and opposites attract and all that - but is it right?

SIR Clive. Okay, so he's clearly a gentleman. It's not Dame Clive.
And sure - he seems to have a penchant for flaxen goddesses.

FACT

He appears to be of the fairest of fair folk - why, he could very well be Ed 'songs for old ladies' Sheeran's Dorian Grey (red) golem.

The way I see it is that blonde is not the opposite of red. I'd accept a light brown but then they'd probably need brown eyes too for me to be happy that it was okay.

FICTION

Or is it?

I'm not saying I agree with this but like a redhead's fiery temperament, blondes have a reputation too - for being not as smart as Sir Clive.
Could this be the answer?

You remove the improbable and what you're left with is about 51/49.

FACT

An ISA is boring and there are better things you could have done with your money:

1 - Invest in scratch cards
2 - Buy as many helium filled balloons as you can get home and see what you can give lift to - a shoe or try and pass the remote around.
3 - Impress everyone you know with a really expensive cat.

Reply
DEAN fan
1/8/2017 04:28:18 pm

Great DEAN post

Reply
DEAN
1/8/2017 05:52:37 pm

Thanking you!

I write these things and then think - fuck - I shouldn't post that!
You make me glad I do!

Speaking of which, I have an essay on why I think games are art; it's low on facts, high on ardour and brimming over with false equivalencies. I wrote it for the Friday Letters Page but haven't emailed it because I was worried that people would hate it, and that on reading it through, I was thoroughly unconvinced myself.

I thought maybe if I showed enough enthusiasm that it'd be okay, so I made a collage to go with it.

Alas, in 20/20 hindsight, I considered that the collage just made things worse if anything.

It's not too late, though, Sweet Fan O' Mine; it's currently in my draft emails.... your call..... but you'll have to bear at least most of the responsibility for it.

DEAN fan
1/8/2017 07:05:34 pm

Inevitably, I say send it! I can always use more DEAN, even if it ends up being crap it will be an interesting curiosity within the back catalogue - your "Never Let Me Down"

David W
1/8/2017 09:20:52 pm

Send it in. Mr. Biffo will print anything, and I should know.

DEAN
2/8/2017 03:50:49 pm

Done!

Starbuck
2/8/2017 07:33:41 pm

Hope it's got some pop in it!

Lord Arse! link
1/8/2017 12:42:49 pm

Ah, a rare shot of a young Mick Hucknall whilst developing the graphics for the DK'Tronics classic "Minder".

Reply
YEET link
2/3/2022 07:35:59 pm

👾😽👍🥰😍🙂😉☺️

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    May 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ