
In fact, such is the restlessness of this Italian icon that he's had even more potential careers than you might know. One could suggest that he's restless, flailing around endlessly in search of direction, or identity. Or, perhaps, he's running from some early trauma, trying to stay distracted, to keep the demons at bay.
Here's Digitiser2000's run down of every obscure Mario game that you might not have heard of.
Indeed, Bombs Away - an unusual entry in the Game & Watch series, given that it was full colour, and came in a sort of compact mirror casing - was a sufficiently early entry into the Mario canon that it's possible to attribute his later manic behaviour to post-traumatic stress.
The object of the game was to cause as much on-screen destruction as possible, while avoiding the clutches of Spike, a sort of proto-Wario. Smarter than it sounds, objects would need to be destroyed in a certain order. Intriguingly, it also foreshadowed Mario Maker, as it featured a basic level creation tool.
"Oh no! Bowser and his bad boys are back to a life of crime. This time, it's not Mario World — it's your world! From his Antarctic castle, Bowser hustles his cold-blooded crew of cantankerous Koopas into his powerful Passcode Operated Remote Transport And Larceny System (PORTALS).
"The twisted turtles transport themselves throughout the globe, where celebrated cities suffer shell-shocking crime waves, as turtles trash landmarks and loot ancient artifacts. With dough from his slimy scales, Bowser hoards hair dryers from the Hafta-Havit Hotline. His plot? Melt Antarctica and flood the planet! Whoa!
"Luigi needs to nab each Koopa, grab its loot, and return the artifact to its proper landmark. Along the way, Luigi explores the city, chats with the locals, reads maps, and solves puzzles. Help him do this before time runs out! Once he figures out where he is on the globe."
Uh... dough from his slimy scales? Are they trying to imply that Bowser has thrush?
Having made the mistake of only demanding artwork approval, these were among the worst-received games ever to feature Nintendo characters; Hotel Mario was a particularly notable abomination of terrible animation and controls. It found Mario once again in search of Princess Peach, visiting Koopa Trooper hotels, and inexplicably slamming shut the doors.
"Mario and Luigi were walking by Bowser's Castle one day when they come across the Magical Typewriter floating in the air. Curious, Mario attempts to type on it. However, he proves to be a terrible typist: 'Nok ix is tge the tine flfo4 for alll godd men to coome 2 too'. Before Mario can go on any further, the Magical Typewriter explodes."
See, kids? Dyslexia doesn't have to be a barrier to your dreams.