Ahead of the debut of the full trailer for the much-anticipated seventh Star Wars movie, LucasFilm and Disney have unveiled a most colourful poster.
Suffice to say, the Internet went into meltdown over this undeniably pretty image - which hews to established Star Wars poster designs.
But what can it all mean? Who are all these new characters? What are these new things, mixed in with some familiar faces and things?
Allow Digitiser2000 to put an end to your ceaseless wondering, with this mental breakdown of all the main elements in the image - and what exactly they mean for The Force Awakens.
As they say in Star Wars Land... Maybe the Force will be with YOU!!!!!
Suffice to say, the Internet went into meltdown over this undeniably pretty image - which hews to established Star Wars poster designs.
But what can it all mean? Who are all these new characters? What are these new things, mixed in with some familiar faces and things?
Allow Digitiser2000 to put an end to your ceaseless wondering, with this mental breakdown of all the main elements in the image - and what exactly they mean for The Force Awakens.
As they say in Star Wars Land... Maybe the Force will be with YOU!!!!!
REY
Rey is the central hero of The Force Awakens, but her bandaged arms are a sign of her selfless nature: Rey once plunged her hands into a pan of boiling fat in order to retrieve a baby starling. Unfortunately, her heroism was futile - when she retrieved the starling it was deep-fried, along with her arms from the elbows down.
Mumbling something about "the circle of life" and "waste not want not", Rey popped the starling in her mouth - but then began to choke on its tiny spine. Though she managed to dislodge the bones, by performing a space Heimlich manoeuvre on herself, the event gave her a unique insight into the fragility of all life, as well as her own capacity for stupidity.
Mumbling something about "the circle of life" and "waste not want not", Rey popped the starling in her mouth - but then began to choke on its tiny spine. Though she managed to dislodge the bones, by performing a space Heimlich manoeuvre on herself, the event gave her a unique insight into the fragility of all life, as well as her own capacity for stupidity.
KYLO REN
Meet Kylo Ren, the movie's villainous Force-user, who has a T-shaped light sabre that represents his middle initial (it stands for Tony). Just like Darth Vader before him, Ren wears a scary mask, dresses all in black, and has a distinct vocal pattern.
Whereas Vader hissed and wheezed like a malfunctioning boiler, Ren's speech will be punctuated by the unmistakable chattering of his teeth, and smacking of his lips. Ren has one more surprise up his sleeve - literally! When startled, a long, brown hose unfurls itself from within his robes, and writhes back and forth on the ground.
Whereas Vader hissed and wheezed like a malfunctioning boiler, Ren's speech will be punctuated by the unmistakable chattering of his teeth, and smacking of his lips. Ren has one more surprise up his sleeve - literally! When startled, a long, brown hose unfurls itself from within his robes, and writhes back and forth on the ground.
FINN
Finn can be seen here wielding a neon light fitting, which he has just removed from a kitchen ceiling. This is because Finn is an intergalactic handyman - who specialises in lighting installation. He's also the first main character in the Star Wars saga to have an addiction to pears.
At any given moment, Finn reaches into his jacket, pulls out a pear, and starts munching away. "Mmm... that's some good pear," he'll say. "I have an addiction to pear I think".
At any given moment, Finn reaches into his jacket, pulls out a pear, and starts munching away. "Mmm... that's some good pear," he'll say. "I have an addiction to pear I think".
ARTOO AND THREEPIO
C3-PO and R2-D2 are back - but who's that little guy on the left? Get ready for a shock - because that's R2-D2! In a surprise twist, we learn that Artoo wasn't a droid after all - but a little tank thing, driven by a whimsical sprite called Petey Bodkins!
Suffice to say, it puts a curious wrinkle in the relationship between the two old friends, when C3-PO begins stuffing a mysterious organic matter into his stomach hole, in a desperate bid to be more like his companion.
Suffice to say, it puts a curious wrinkle in the relationship between the two old friends, when C3-PO begins stuffing a mysterious organic matter into his stomach hole, in a desperate bid to be more like his companion.
OLD FRIENDS
Han Solo! Princess Leia! Chewbacca! They're all back, albeit some 30 years older.
Han Solo will waste no opportunity to remind us of our own mortality, grumbling repeatedly about incontinence and space pensions, whereas Princess Leia is glimpsed digging Solo's grave - using his actual headstone. In a bid to make Star Wars even more relevant to modern audiences, the ever-young Chewbacca starts his own galactic Internet show, called YouChewb, for which he unboxes space hairbrushes and combs.
But where's Luke Skywalker? SPOILER: He's dead, but his bloated corpse will be dragged through scenes by whichever character happens to have nothing better to do. In order to ensure a family-friendly rating, the Skywalker corpse will be pixellated on screen.
Han Solo will waste no opportunity to remind us of our own mortality, grumbling repeatedly about incontinence and space pensions, whereas Princess Leia is glimpsed digging Solo's grave - using his actual headstone. In a bid to make Star Wars even more relevant to modern audiences, the ever-young Chewbacca starts his own galactic Internet show, called YouChewb, for which he unboxes space hairbrushes and combs.
But where's Luke Skywalker? SPOILER: He's dead, but his bloated corpse will be dragged through scenes by whichever character happens to have nothing better to do. In order to ensure a family-friendly rating, the Skywalker corpse will be pixellated on screen.
PHASMA
This shiny evil lady is Captain Phasma - undoubtedly the coolest of the new Star Wars villains. You might be asking why a space captain would be wearing armour which made them a very obvious target on the battlefield. Ask no longer: Captain Phasma fights exclusively in fairground halls of mirrors.
POE and BB-8
Some have mistaken BB-8 as a new Star Wars droid - but the truth is he's merely a futuristic beach ball, owned by space pilot Poe Dameron. Poe loves nothing more than hanging out on beaches, kicking his beach ball around, and trying to get the attention of space girls. Back and forth he waddles, gripping his "BB" between his knees, and chomping at thin air in a bid to look powerful.
Sadly, this tactic rarely works for the big space doofus, and on seven previous occasions Poe has burst his beach ball out of anger. Will BB-8 survive Poe's next trip to the beach? Find out soon!
Sadly, this tactic rarely works for the big space doofus, and on seven previous occasions Poe has burst his beach ball out of anger. Will BB-8 survive Poe's next trip to the beach? Find out soon!
STARKILLER BASE
How do you top a space station the size of a moon? Build one the size of a planet! But wait - what's that ominous, glowing, aperture? Why... that's where you live.
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