SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS: THEN AND NOW - DIGITISER

SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS: THEN AND NOW

1/7/2016

We all remember the school computer club don't we? Yes, you do remember: the club in your school with the computer(s). That. But we're all grown up now. We're not in school anymore. What must these school computer clubs be like today, with all the modern technology, and advanced computing equipment? What have they become? Read on to find out!

THEN: CLASS 7JF CROWD AROUND THEIR TEACHER, MR MOISTEN, AS HE DEMONSTRATES AN EXCITING MATHS GAME. THERE ARE NO VISIBLE BEES.

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

BEES! THERE ARE JUST BEES EVERYWHERE! ALL OVER EVERYONE IN THE COMPUTER CLUB! BEES!

THEN: THIS GIRL SET FIRE TO A VISITING DIGNITARY DURING COMPUTER CLUB, AND HER PUNISHMENT IS TO PLAY A CHESS PROGRAM ON HER OWN, IN AN ENTIRELY BEE-LESS ROOM.

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

SO MANY BEES IN THE COMPUTER CLUB! JUST BEES, YEAH? WHO LET THEM IN? THEY'RE GETTING ON ALL THE COMPUTERS! HA HA.

THEN: THESE BOYS COULDN'T AFFORD AN ABACUS OF THEIR OWN, SO THEY COME TO THE SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUB, AND PERFORM THEIR CALCULATIONS USING A COMPLEX COMPUTER ABACUS, SAFE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT NO BEE WILL STING THEM.

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

HOW DID THESE BEES GET INTO THE COMPUTER CLUB? THERE ARE SO MANY! JUST SO MANY BEES!

THEN: TWO GIRLS. ONE COMPUTER. NO BEES.

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

TODAY WILL GO DOWN IN INFAMY AS THE DAY ALL THE BEES GOT INTO THE COMPUTER CLUB! YES - BEES! MUTHAF@CKING BEES, YO!!!

THEN: THESE FOUR SPODS SIGNED UP TO THE SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUB IN THE HOPE THERE MIGHT BE SOME BEES THERE. NOT SO! LATER, LOSERS!

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

OMG: HERE BE BEES! (IN THE COMPUTER CLUB)

THEN: THESE THREE LIKELY FELLOWS ARE KNOWN AMONG THEIR FELLOW SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUB MEMBERS AS 'THE MEGA FRIENDS' (L-R: DATABLAST, LOGIK, TITAN). NOTE HOW NONE OF THEM ARE BEING STUNG OFF BEES.

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

"BZZZ! BZZZ!" - THESE ARE THE ACTUAL WORDS OF THE COMPUTER CLUB BEES! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! (IN THE COMPUTER CLUB)

THEN: "PLEASE, SIR - CAN I HAVE SOME BEES?" ASKS THE STUDENT.

"NO, BOY," REPLIES HIS TEACHER. "THIS IS A COMPUTER CLUB, AND THERE SHALL NEVER BE BEES IN A COMPUTER CLUB FOR AS LONG AS I DRAW BREATH."

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

BEES HAVE NO PLACE BEING IN A COMPUTER CLUB... AND YET THAT IS THE SITUATION.

THEN: CHILDREN, PLEASE... WHAT IS THE SCORE YOU HAVE PROGRAMMED IN YOUR BEE-FREE COMPUTER CLUB?

"THE SCORE OF OUR HYPOTHETICAL KABADDI MATCH IS SEVEN GOALS TO FIVE."

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

PLISS... WON'T SOMEBODY HELP THE VICTIMS OF THE COMPUTER CLUB BEES?

THEN: SO MANY COOL DUDES! NO WONDER THE BEES DON'T WANT TO BE HERE - THEY'D DIE TO DEATH FROM THE MODERATE COLD!

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

PEOPLE COME TO THE COMPUTER CLUB EXPECTING COMPUTERS - NOT BEES! LOL!

THEN: THESE BRAVE CHILDREN ARE GATHERED AROUND THEIR SCHOOL'S MR TUMNUS, A FIERCE AND FIESTY FAWN, WHO KEEPS PREDICTING THAT ONE DAY THE BEES WILL GET INTO THE COMPUTER CLUB.

"THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN," THE SCHOOL REASSURES THEM, IN A LETTER HOME.

PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:

WHAT IS THE NUMBER ONE SNACK IN THE SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUB? BEES, I GUESS!!

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Waynan The Barbarian

30/6/2016 09:32:41 am

What kind of bees are there in the computer club?
Honey bee? Bumble bee? Tawny Mining bee? Hairy Footed Flower bee? Or maybe the illusive Mel B?

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Rhys

30/6/2016 10:25:28 am

Mostly BBC Bees.

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Mr Biffo

30/6/2016 11:10:49 am

<HEARTY APPLAUSE>

N. Cage

30/6/2016 11:28:33 am

Not the bees!

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SH

30/6/2016 12:17:13 pm

Ok, this is as good a place as any to ask, we used to have a suite of RM Nimbus computers running god knows what OS back in the early to mid 90's.

In computer club, it basically just revolved around 20 students playing a game that I'm 99% certain was called "Indian Farmer". It was a single player game and revolved around planting crops and then seeing what yield you'd get out of said crop. It was massively competitive between us as it'd be possible to get massive yields and we'd all keep our own high scores for bragging rights.

I've never been able to find a shred of evidence for this game on the internet, and only 2 people I know of have any sort of recollection of it and they don't have fond memories of it like I do. I'd dearly love to see it again, as bee-less as it was.

Ring any bells? It had teletext/grannys garden style graphics and I remember it being overwhelmingly blue in colour.

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Sam

4/7/2022 05:48:49 am

I also remember this game, definitely called Indian Farmer and we played it on the BBC micro or Acorn Archimedes (can't remember which). Also, strangely, nothing to be found on the internet. I think this would have been around 1992.

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Acid_Arrow

30/6/2016 12:26:08 pm

I remember my first computer lesson took place on a machine with 'Research Machines 48 OZ' written on it and we had to program a cursor to draw a shape (squares were easiest). At the time I thought it was stupid having played on my mates Amiga but it kind of did introduce some basic programming concepts in a way.

A couple of years later we upgraded to 'RM Nimbus' computers which were some kind of PC. The best part was when our elderly computer teacher (formerly Chemistry teacher until he dropped some white phosphorus, so the story went anyway) told us his password 'goldring' and one of my more computer-savvy classmates almost immediately made "F**k Off Mr Wood" come up on all our screens (in hindsight I think he used 'netsend') That's basically all I remember from 3 years worth of Computer Studies.

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jawa

30/6/2016 12:49:56 pm

Hang on... *every* school used BBC Bs in the 80s.... and then there's that picture where kids are using VIC-20s. That must have been an ultra-cool school - or it was an American classroom. Mr Biffo, pray spill the beans!

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Mr Biffo

30/6/2016 12:50:58 pm

You leave my beans out of this.

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jawa

30/6/2016 12:59:00 pm

Beehave!

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RichardM

30/6/2016 02:41:58 pm

Yeah, we had RM Nimbuses too. I learnt to program in Pascal on them... And how to run a tea shop, by playing Tea Shop. One of the older boys had programmed a custom boot loader with a Star Trek theme. He was well cool!

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T Bag

1/7/2016 12:02:04 am

Hah, Tea Shop, epic game! Not quite up there with Granny's Garden or Flowers Of Crystal, however.

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Toaster

12/7/2016 12:58:37 am

99p? That's more than British Rail!

Paulvw

30/6/2016 03:25:03 pm

Those can't possibly bee photos of real School Computer Clubs as no large scale piracy is taking place.

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Omniro

30/6/2016 06:47:34 pm

10 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!

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Kelvin Green link

30/6/2016 08:18:38 pm

Another bee-related article, and no mention of James the Bee? Has he defected to Kotaku?

All I remember from school computer lessons is that weird robotic turtle thing that you were supposed to program (in BASIC) to draw pictures with its bum-pen.

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jawa

1/7/2016 05:06:34 pm

I believe that drawing turtle required programming in Logo rather than BASIC, dude. And that pen was meant to go in its mouth ;-).

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Kelvin Green link

1/7/2016 06:38:50 pm

Bum, mouth, who can tell the difference?

Damon link

30/6/2016 08:40:25 pm

This made me laugh and I don't know why.

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timmypoos

30/6/2016 09:18:23 pm

Ha! you had me with Mr Moisten, made me snot out o'maface. (because hayfever)

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Blerkotron

1/7/2016 09:09:03 pm

Our school computer club was set up by our maths teacher, and was basically a no-rules swinging free-for-all for hooky copied tapes. Even the teacher was pirating games like a digital Long John Silver. It truly was the Wild West, except with fewer tumbleweeds. And gun fights. And bees.

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