DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS: THEN AND NOW

1/7/2016

21 Comments

 
Picture
We all remember the school computer club don't we? Yes, you do remember: the club in your school with the computer(s). That. But we're all grown up now. We're not in school anymore. What must these school computer clubs be like today, with all the modern technology, and advanced computing equipment? What have they become? Read on to find out!
THEN: CLASS 7JF CROWD AROUND THEIR TEACHER, MR MOISTEN, AS HE DEMONSTRATES AN EXCITING MATHS GAME. THERE ARE NO VISIBLE BEES.
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
BEES! THERE ARE JUST BEES EVERYWHERE! ALL OVER EVERYONE IN THE COMPUTER CLUB! BEES!
THEN: THIS GIRL SET FIRE TO A VISITING DIGNITARY DURING COMPUTER CLUB, AND HER PUNISHMENT IS TO PLAY A CHESS PROGRAM ON HER OWN, IN AN ENTIRELY BEE-LESS ROOM.
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
SO MANY BEES IN THE COMPUTER CLUB! JUST BEES, YEAH? WHO LET THEM IN? THEY'RE GETTING ON ALL THE COMPUTERS! HA HA.
THEN: THESE BOYS COULDN'T AFFORD AN ABACUS OF THEIR OWN, SO THEY COME TO THE SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUB, AND PERFORM THEIR CALCULATIONS USING A COMPLEX COMPUTER ABACUS, SAFE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT NO BEE WILL STING THEM.
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
HOW DID THESE BEES GET INTO THE COMPUTER CLUB? THERE ARE SO MANY! JUST SO MANY BEES!
THEN: TWO GIRLS. ONE COMPUTER. NO BEES.
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
TODAY WILL GO DOWN IN INFAMY AS THE DAY ALL THE BEES GOT INTO THE COMPUTER CLUB! YES - BEES! MUTHAF@CKING BEES, YO!!!
THEN: THESE FOUR SPODS SIGNED UP TO THE SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUB IN THE HOPE THERE MIGHT BE SOME BEES THERE. NOT SO! LATER, LOSERS!
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
OMG: HERE BE BEES! (IN THE COMPUTER CLUB)
THEN: THESE THREE LIKELY FELLOWS ARE KNOWN AMONG THEIR FELLOW SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUB MEMBERS AS 'THE MEGA FRIENDS' (L-R: DATABLAST, LOGIK, TITAN). NOTE HOW NONE OF THEM ARE BEING STUNG OFF BEES.
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
"BZZZ! BZZZ!" - THESE ARE THE ACTUAL WORDS OF THE COMPUTER CLUB BEES! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! (IN THE COMPUTER CLUB)
THEN: "PLEASE, SIR - CAN I HAVE SOME BEES?" ASKS THE STUDENT.

"NO, BOY," REPLIES HIS TEACHER. "THIS IS A COMPUTER CLUB, AND THERE SHALL NEVER BE BEES IN A COMPUTER CLUB FOR AS LONG AS I DRAW BREATH."
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
BEES HAVE NO PLACE BEING IN A COMPUTER CLUB... AND YET THAT IS THE SITUATION.
THEN: CHILDREN, PLEASE... WHAT IS THE SCORE YOU HAVE PROGRAMMED IN YOUR BEE-FREE COMPUTER CLUB?

"THE SCORE OF OUR HYPOTHETICAL KABADDI MATCH IS SEVEN GOALS TO FIVE."
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
PLISS... WON'T SOMEBODY HELP THE VICTIMS OF THE COMPUTER CLUB BEES?
THEN: SO MANY COOL DUDES! NO WONDER THE BEES DON'T WANT TO BE HERE - THEY'D DIE TO DEATH FROM THE MODERATE COLD!
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
PEOPLE COME TO THE COMPUTER CLUB EXPECTING COMPUTERS - NOT BEES! LOL!
THEN: THESE BRAVE CHILDREN ARE GATHERED AROUND THEIR SCHOOL'S MR TUMNUS, A FIERCE AND FIESTY FAWN, WHO KEEPS PREDICTING THAT ONE DAY THE BEES WILL GET INTO THE COMPUTER CLUB.

​"THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN," THE SCHOOL REASSURES THEM, IN A LETTER HOME. 
Picture
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUBS ARE LIKE NOW:
Picture
WHAT IS THE NUMBER ONE SNACK IN THE SCHOOL COMPUTER CLUB? BEES, I GUESS!!
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
WILL YOU PRESS REVEAL SO THAT PINGU CAN CONGRATULATE THESE AMERICAN POLITICIANS FOR HAVING STUPID NAMES?
MOST WANTED: 21 GENUINE POLICE SUSPECT IMAGES
YOU BE THE DETECTIVE: CAN YOU WORK OUT WHO MURDERED UBISOFT BOSS YVES GUILLEMOT?


BLOCK PARTY: THE DIGITISER & TELETEXT FESTIVAL! OCTOBER 1st 2016 - TICKETS ONLY £10!
​

BUY THEM HERE!
​
Picture
21 Comments
Waynan The Barbarian
30/6/2016 09:32:41 am

What kind of bees are there in the computer club?
Honey bee? Bumble bee? Tawny Mining bee? Hairy Footed Flower bee? Or maybe the illusive Mel B?

Reply
Rhys
30/6/2016 10:25:28 am

Mostly BBC Bees.

Reply
Mr Biffo
30/6/2016 11:10:49 am

<HEARTY APPLAUSE>

N. Cage
30/6/2016 11:28:33 am

Not the bees!

Reply
SH
30/6/2016 12:17:13 pm

Ok, this is as good a place as any to ask, we used to have a suite of RM Nimbus computers running god knows what OS back in the early to mid 90's.

In computer club, it basically just revolved around 20 students playing a game that I'm 99% certain was called "Indian Farmer". It was a single player game and revolved around planting crops and then seeing what yield you'd get out of said crop. It was massively competitive between us as it'd be possible to get massive yields and we'd all keep our own high scores for bragging rights.

I've never been able to find a shred of evidence for this game on the internet, and only 2 people I know of have any sort of recollection of it and they don't have fond memories of it like I do. I'd dearly love to see it again, as bee-less as it was.

Ring any bells? It had teletext/grannys garden style graphics and I remember it being overwhelmingly blue in colour.

Reply
Sam
4/7/2022 05:48:49 am

I also remember this game, definitely called Indian Farmer and we played it on the BBC micro or Acorn Archimedes (can't remember which). Also, strangely, nothing to be found on the internet. I think this would have been around 1992.

Reply
Acid_Arrow
30/6/2016 12:26:08 pm

I remember my first computer lesson took place on a machine with 'Research Machines 48 OZ' written on it and we had to program a cursor to draw a shape (squares were easiest). At the time I thought it was stupid having played on my mates Amiga but it kind of did introduce some basic programming concepts in a way.

A couple of years later we upgraded to 'RM Nimbus' computers which were some kind of PC. The best part was when our elderly computer teacher (formerly Chemistry teacher until he dropped some white phosphorus, so the story went anyway) told us his password 'goldring' and one of my more computer-savvy classmates almost immediately made "F**k Off Mr Wood" come up on all our screens (in hindsight I think he used 'netsend') That's basically all I remember from 3 years worth of Computer Studies.

Reply
jawa
30/6/2016 12:49:56 pm

Hang on... *every* school used BBC Bs in the 80s.... and then there's that picture where kids are using VIC-20s. That must have been an ultra-cool school - or it was an American classroom. Mr Biffo, pray spill the beans!

Reply
Mr Biffo
30/6/2016 12:50:58 pm

You leave my beans out of this.

Reply
jawa
30/6/2016 12:59:00 pm

Beehave!

Reply
RichardM
30/6/2016 02:41:58 pm

Yeah, we had RM Nimbuses too. I learnt to program in Pascal on them... And how to run a tea shop, by playing Tea Shop. One of the older boys had programmed a custom boot loader with a Star Trek theme. He was well cool!

Reply
T Bag
1/7/2016 12:02:04 am

Hah, Tea Shop, epic game! Not quite up there with Granny's Garden or Flowers Of Crystal, however.

Reply
Toaster
12/7/2016 12:58:37 am

99p? That's more than British Rail!

Paulvw
30/6/2016 03:25:03 pm

Those can't possibly bee photos of real School Computer Clubs as no large scale piracy is taking place.

Reply
Omniro
30/6/2016 06:47:34 pm

10 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!

Reply
Kelvin Green link
30/6/2016 08:18:38 pm

Another bee-related article, and no mention of James the Bee? Has he defected to Kotaku?

All I remember from school computer lessons is that weird robotic turtle thing that you were supposed to program (in BASIC) to draw pictures with its bum-pen.

Reply
jawa
1/7/2016 05:06:34 pm

I believe that drawing turtle required programming in Logo rather than BASIC, dude. And that pen was meant to go in its mouth ;-).

Reply
Kelvin Green link
1/7/2016 06:38:50 pm

Bum, mouth, who can tell the difference?

Damon link
30/6/2016 08:40:25 pm

This made me laugh and I don't know why.

Reply
timmypoos
30/6/2016 09:18:23 pm

Ha! you had me with Mr Moisten, made me snot out o'maface. (because hayfever)

Reply
Blerkotron
1/7/2016 09:09:03 pm

Our school computer club was set up by our maths teacher, and was basically a no-rules swinging free-for-all for hooky copied tapes. Even the teacher was pirating games like a digital Long John Silver. It truly was the Wild West, except with fewer tumbleweeds. And gun fights. And bees.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    May 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ