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SAD BUT TRUE: SHORTLY AFTER THESE PHOTOS WERE TAKEN, THESE 90s GAMERS DISAPPEARED AND WERE NEVER SEEN AGAIN

24/5/2016

4 Comments

 
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Some of you might be old enough to remember the 90s. Do you remember those? Do you remember all the 90s things? So much happened. All sorts of stuff. All between the years of 1990 and 1999. Amazing.

​But wait - here's a gallery of some other stuff that happened: specifically, the last moments of all these 90s gamers.
BIG BIRD: "REMEMBER - ON THE COUNT OF THREE WE JUMP HIM AND DRAG HIM THROUGH THIS WINDOW, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN..."

OTHERS: "YES, MASTER."

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CRAZY SWEATER: "WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY - L-R: MYSELF (NEIL ARMSTRONG), A YOUNG KEVIN BACON, MONICA LEWINSKY, SOME BRAT, P-HOLE, CHRIS WADDLE - TO VANISH, AND NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN!"

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: "I CONCUR - WITH ATTITUDE!"
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DENIM SHORTS 1: "I HOPE MY UNSTABLE, ALCOHOLIC REDNECK FATHER ISN'T MAD THAT I USED HIS RACOON-SKINNING TOOLS TO MAKE US THESE ATTRACTIVE PC GAMING SHORTS."

ANOTHER BOY: "WAIT - DID YOU HEAR THAT? IT SOUNDED LIKE SOMEONE'S FATHER BEING ANGRY OUTSIDE."

ONE OTHER BOY: "NEVER MIND THAT. WHY ARE WE EVEN PC GAMING IN YOUR FATHER'S SEX SAUNA?"
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DENIM SHORTS 2: "I FOUND THESE SHORTS OUTSIDE A SEX SAUNA. THEY WERE COVERED WITH THE BLOOD OF A PC GAMER."

BLONDE HAIR: "ARE YOU SURE SUPER MARIO WORLD IS A TWO-PLAYER GAME?"
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CLONE 1: "SOON OUR BODIES WILL DEGRADE."

CLONE 2: "WE ARE NAUGHT BUT MAYFLIES."
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BASEBALL CAP: "REMEMBER, KIDS - AFTER WE'VE FINISHED PLAYING NINTENDO WE'RE GOING TO BUY SOME MORE B.U.M. EQUIPMENT FOR OUR WEEKEND IN THE W.O.O.D.S..."

BOY AT BACK'S T-SHIRT: "HELP."
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GIRL: "AFTER WE'VE FINISHED THIS, WILL YOU CUT MY HAIR FOR ME AGAIN?"

OTHER CHILD: "OK. WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IT?"

GIRL: "THE EDGE OF A CLIFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A LIGHTNING STORM."
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FATHER: "THIS WILL BE THE LAST PHOTO ANYBODY TAKES OF US."

SON: "YAY!"

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MAN ON LEFT: "I, TOM SELLECK, HAVE LET MYSELF GO."

MAN ON RIGHT: "I AM ALL OF STATUS QUO COMBINED INTO A SINGLE BEING."


MAN ON LEFT: "WE ARE AN ABOMINATION. LET US GO TO THE ACID PITS!"
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B-CAP: "GUYS... I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT WALLY. DO ANY OF YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?"

PINK SHIRT: "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

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GIRL: "DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT US?"

BOY: "WHAT?"

GIRL: "I THINK WE'RE MEA
NT TO BE CHILDREN, BUT WE HAVE STRANGELY ADULT FACES."

BOY: "YES. LET US RUN AWAY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN."

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PJAYS: "SATAN TALKS TO ME THROUGH MAH TEEVEEEEE!"
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
​WANT TO FEEL OLD? ALL THESE GAMERS FROM THE SEVENTIES & EIGHTIES ARE NOW IN A COMA...
WHAT WILL NOLAN BUSHNELL THINK OF ALL THESE MONKEYS WHO ARE TRYING TO LICK HIS BUM?
PRESS REVEAL TO SEE WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ON THEIR COMPUTER SCREENS
4 Comments
Jenuall
24/5/2016 10:38:01 am

I have to say I don't know what it is about these list articles, but you always seem to have me in stitches - keep up the good work Biffo!

Reply
Trevor Cod
24/5/2016 12:10:59 pm

Was that taken before or after Niel Armstrong kicked the head off a duck?

Reply
trevor mcfur
24/5/2016 08:40:11 pm

Maybe too much sun & houmous, but that was the most densely fun-filled short period of time for an undisclosed but considerable length of time.

Reply
Guru Larry link
6/9/2016 01:47:09 am

The second to last photo of the girl witht he Super Nintendo...

...That's Anita Sarkeesian on the left. :S

Reply



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