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RING-SIR! Pranking IT Support with Phoning Honey

11/3/2015

6 Comments

 
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Hello, Martin. I'm Phoning Honey, a special sort of guy who likes to go online and engage in whimsical banter with the operators of online technical support services. What a rubbish thing to do. What? Hello, Martin.

Recently, I built a special nest from which to do my favourite activity. I built it out of old pork wrapped in melted Happy Meal toys. 
Please be aware: the names of the pranked have been changed to protect my integrity. Let's go. It's time.

>> AN OPERATOR WILL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY...

HONEY: I know they will.

> RAMON HAS ENTERED THE CHATROOM.

RAMON: Hi. How are you today?

HONEY: What?

RAMON: Hi. How can I help you today? How are you?

HONEY: What's going on? Why do you keep asking me how I am?

RAMON: Just saying hello. Friendly type. How can I help you?

HONEY: I've broken it, Ramon.

RAMON: Oh. You've broken something. You bought from us? From the website?

HONEY: Yes, Ramon.

RAMON: Can I ask what this was?

HONEY: Microwave. I used it for a show on my YouTube channel, and now the door won't close properly and the thing won't go round.

RAMON: Ok. Wow.

HONEY: Don't be sarcastic, Ramon.

RAMON: No sarcasm. I wish I had a YouTube. 

HONEY: I'm still detecting sarcasm.

RAMON: I mean it. What show? Cooking?

HONEY: Can we just get on with it, Ramon? I don't have all day. But it's a video game channel. Are you hungry or something?

RAMON: Sure. Always hungry. Sorry. Ok. So is latch broke? Check latch?

HONEY: Check latch? Do you mean "chocolate"?


RAMON: No. Is door latch broken? Might be the spring.

HONEY: It isn't the latch. The door just keeps bouncing open. 

RAMON: That shouldn't happen. What model this is?

HONEY: Do you think I should take the PS4 out?

RAMON: PS4?

HONEY: PlayStation 4?

RAMON: Where is PlayStation 4 please?

HONEY: In the microwave. Should I take it out? Do you think that's why the door won't close?

RAMON: Sure.

HONEY: Give me a second. I'll just go and try it.

RAMON: Why put a PlayStation in there? I don't think I get all this.

HONEY: It was for my YouTube channel. I was trying to microwave it to see what would happen. I microwave all sorts of stuff on there. Once I put a pear on a joypad and microwaved them both!

RAMON: Crazy!!! No wonder you break.

HONEY: Ok. It worked. Half the PS4 was sticking out and stopping the door from closing. Me so silly.

RAMON: Great! All solved now?


HONEY: Yes, all solved now, Ramon. Thank you. Hey. Listen, Ramon - can I ask you something?

RAMON: Okay. One more thing.

HONEY: What happens now?

RAMON: When happens now?

HONEY: I mean, between us. Will I ever hear from you again?

RAMON: No. This is the end now. I'm going to email you the customer service feedback form. Have I been helpful? It would be great if you could fill it out. This is the end then.

HONEY: You make it sound so final.

RAMON: I know. But it has to end. It has been great talking to you. Good luck with your YouTube.

HONEY: Sarcasm again.

RAMON: Not sarcasm. Hey. Please. Bye.

> RAMON HAS LEFT THE SESSION.


FROM THE ARCHIVE:
  • RING-SIR! Phoning Honey meets "Nick"
  • RING-SIR! Phoning Honey meets "Michael"
  • RING-SIR! Phoning Honey meets "Kevin J"

6 Comments
Dan link
11/3/2015 07:28:16 am

Hah, I wish I had 'a YouTube' too... I'd be one rich barsteward. ;)

Reply
Stu
11/3/2015 07:31:35 am

Excellent.

Reply
Virtual Hermit link
11/3/2015 08:26:11 am

I like, Ramon, friendly type.

Reply
FEoD link
11/3/2015 12:01:12 pm

I bet Ramon is this guy:
http://tx6275.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/sequence_08_2.gif

Reply
Mr Biffo
12/3/2015 03:49:39 am

That's him!

Reply
Hoboerotica
25/3/2015 03:11:56 pm

He He, kill 'em all and let God decide!

Sorry, what were we talking about?

Reply



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