RING-SIR! Online Support Pranks with PHONING HONEY

I'm Phoning Honey, please don't be afraid. I'm just here to connect to an online helpline operator, and see if he can fix my "broad band". Why do I do this? I wish I could say I'm providing some sort of searing commentary on our overly commercialised and technology-reliant society, but... but... buhhhrrr.... ffzzzzzp-fzzzp-frrrrttttttt!!

All names have been changed to protect the inner-sense. Goodbye.

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> YOU ARE BEING CONNECTED TO AN OPERATOR...

HONEY: Yes. Ok then. That'll be fine.

> YOU ARE NOW CONNECTED.

JAMES: Hi. How can I help you? 

HONEY: Broadband slow.

JAMES: Which package are you with?

HONEY: Broadband. Fix pls.

JAMES: Do you have fibre?

HONEY: Yes. Fibrayre. Pls. U fix this. Come on now.

JAMES: Fibre Infinity?

HONEY: Fibrayre.

JAMES: What is your postcode and name please?

HONEY: U fix this pls?

JAMES: I need to check your account. Could you give me your postcode and account number please?

HONEY: Yes, Fibrayre. It is FIBRAYRE 59(B).

JAMES: ...

HONEY: Fibrayre? Where you gone? Come on. Fix, pls.

JAMES: I'm not totally sure -

HONEY: My broadband so so slow. Can u fix pls?

JAMES: Can you describe the problem?

HONEY: Is slow. Like pruppis. Is so so lazy.

JAMES: What is your number? We might be able to fix this over the phone.

HONEY: On phone, Fibrayre? Why on phone now come on?

JAMES: Is it ok to call you?

HONEY: ...

HONEY: Hi. I am so sorry. My son got onto the computer and thought he'd be a joker.

JAMES: No problem. 

HONEY: I'm really sorry if he's wasted your time.

JAMES: It's fine. Is there actually an issue you need help with?

HONEY: Yes. Fibrayre is slow like pruppis. U fix pls? Y U no fix dis? C'mon, baby.

> YOU HAVE BEEN DISCONNECTED FROM THE CHAT SESSION

FROM THE ARCHIVE:

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• MR T'S PROBLEM PAGE: INTERNET ADVICE
  
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