DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

RING SIR! Online Support Pranks with Phoning Honey

19/1/2015

3 Comments

 
Picture
In the words of U2: Guten tag, baby! I'm Phoning Honey, the comedic prankster who likes nothing more than apportioning blame. Sure, some people might think I'm a cruel time-waster for the things I do, but if I didn't do those things I'd have to do something else - something even more cruel. EG: propelling a puppy over a viaduct full of brakes.

This week I've been chatting the chats to an online technical support guy. The names of companies, individuals and products have been changed to protect the cussing.


> Please wait while we connect you to an operator...

HONEY: Ok then.

> Nick has entered the chat.

HONEY: Oh there you are.

NICK: Hi. This is Nick. Sorry to keep you waiting.

HONEY: I should think so.

NICK: Who am I speaking to?

HONEY: I don't know. I can't see you.

NICK: Sure. Who is this?

HONEY: You're Nick. It says so next to your words. I'm assuming it's short for Nicholas or Nimbletrump.

NICK: Who am I speaking to?

HONEY: You've already asked that. If I am to assume you want to know who I am, then I am Honey.

NICK: Thanks. How can I help you today Honey?

HONEY: I'm trying to sync my phone to my tablet to make all the apps happen on all things, and the other things, but it isn't working. It just isn't working. I must be doing something wrong. Things!?

NICK: Ok. We can work through that together. No problem.

HONEY: There is a problem, Nick, otherwise I wouldn't be on here.

NICK: Sure. I just need to ask you some questions first.

HONEY: What sort of questions?

NICK: They're just questions about your setup and products.

HONEY: That's a bit prying, Nick. What does my setup have to do with anything? But if you must know, I'm single, and I live alone, apart from occasional visits by The Vark.

NICK: I just need to ask some questions about your technical setup.

HONEY: It's getting worse!

NICK: What is Honey?

HONEY: Your line of interrogation! I feel like I'm being waterboarded by a master interrogator! Whatever happened to the days when one could expect to be probed-a-gently?

NICK: Honey you don't have to answer anything you don't want to answer but I'm unable to help unless I can establish some basic facts.

HONEY: Did you just swear at me, Nick?

NICK: I can assure you I would NEVER have done that Honey.

HONEY: Well it just flashed up on the screen for a moment before it got deleted. The F/C word followed by the M and H words!

NICK: I really can promise you I would never have done that Honey. I just want to help you get to the bottom of whatever the problem is.

HONEY: At least now you're ready to acknowledge there is a problem. It took you swearing at me to get us there though.

NICK: I didn't swear at you Honey. Our customers are very important to us.

HONEY: I'm really sorry, Nick, but I need to go. The Vark is here, and it wants feeding. You probably want to know what I'm going on about?

NICK: You might say that.

HONEY: There's no might about it, Nimbletrump. I already did say that. But just to clarify, The Vark is a big worm wearing a curly blonde wig over its face, and I feed it by shoving pickled raisins up what I assume to be a snout of some kind. Now get a load of this: The Vark has YOUR MOUTH tattooed on its gills. "Nimbletrump, Nimbletrump, What do'st thou see, When thou has one's face 'gainst the Nimbletrump tree?".

> You have been disconnected from the chat <
3 Comments
Jabberwoc
19/1/2015 08:57:59 am

Never mind all that, why are the spiders shouting at me?

Reply
Aimé Puffa-Jacquet
19/1/2015 01:22:13 pm

The return of Phoning Honey is simply the best thing of the millennium, if not the century!!!

I love it, I tells ya. Thanks, guy.

Reply
Dacanesta
19/1/2015 06:00:08 pm

Any chance you do videos of these in future, with your spanking (guffaw!) new site?

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    May 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ