Zombies. Zombies, zombies, zombies, zombies, zombies. Zombies. It seems that people just can't get enough of those guys. Running zombies. Shambling zombies. Creeping zombies. TV zombies. Movie zombies. Zombies in books, and in games, and in cartoons, and in your heart.
Zombies. Bombies. Dombies.
"Hey, hey we're the Zombees/People say we're shufflin' aroun'/But we're too busy eatin'/To stay buried in the groun... d".
And now... Nazi zombies. Nazombies. Nazombiazis. Oh.
Stick swastikas on them. Put them in blonde wigs. Staple turkey ham to their foreheads and shove crisps down the back of their pants. However you dress up your zombies... shouldn't we be all over them by now? The last, fetid drops of originality have been drawn from that well, and the buckets are full of mud cakes.
But that's Zombie Army Trilogy - a game that, perhaps appropriately, embraces originality with all the enthusiasm of a recently deceased pensioner.
Zombies. Bombies. Dombies.
"Hey, hey we're the Zombees/People say we're shufflin' aroun'/But we're too busy eatin'/To stay buried in the groun... d".
And now... Nazi zombies. Nazombies. Nazombiazis. Oh.
Stick swastikas on them. Put them in blonde wigs. Staple turkey ham to their foreheads and shove crisps down the back of their pants. However you dress up your zombies... shouldn't we be all over them by now? The last, fetid drops of originality have been drawn from that well, and the buckets are full of mud cakes.
But that's Zombie Army Trilogy - a game that, perhaps appropriately, embraces originality with all the enthusiasm of a recently deceased pensioner.
ZAT'S ENTERTAINMENT
Zombie Army Trilogy is an anthology comprising the two downloadable mods for the mostly-unloved Sniper Elite V2, and a brand new third chapter set in a zombie-populated Berlin (vital backstory: Hitler has reanimated the dead to serve as his army - and ends up becoming a ranting, glowing-eyed zombie himself... Oh, Hitler!!). ZAT adopts the lewd stance of a third-person shooter, with an emphasis - as you'd expect, given the above - on sniper rifles.
This happens: get from A-to-B, clearing wave after wave of Nazi zombies en route. Sometimes you get to activate traps, and sometimes - if you fire-up the higher difficulty settings - you to get fret about wind direction, and the like, affecting your shots. Which is a weird nugget of realism to feature in so unrealistic a game - like learning that Elsa from Frozen is taking anti-anxiety medication to control panic attacks.
There's a co-op mode which adds a little extra life expectancy, but ultimately we found this a gruelling experience, and not for the right reasons. It's basically an endurance test of how much repetitive action you can tolerate before stabbing a pen in your ear.
At least Sniper Elite had a slight stealth element to enliven its repetition and simplicity. This is one step removed from an on-rails shooter, or a Whack-A-Mole game that squirts ketchup out of the moles' faces every time you hit them.
Zombie Army Trilogy is an anthology comprising the two downloadable mods for the mostly-unloved Sniper Elite V2, and a brand new third chapter set in a zombie-populated Berlin (vital backstory: Hitler has reanimated the dead to serve as his army - and ends up becoming a ranting, glowing-eyed zombie himself... Oh, Hitler!!). ZAT adopts the lewd stance of a third-person shooter, with an emphasis - as you'd expect, given the above - on sniper rifles.
This happens: get from A-to-B, clearing wave after wave of Nazi zombies en route. Sometimes you get to activate traps, and sometimes - if you fire-up the higher difficulty settings - you to get fret about wind direction, and the like, affecting your shots. Which is a weird nugget of realism to feature in so unrealistic a game - like learning that Elsa from Frozen is taking anti-anxiety medication to control panic attacks.
There's a co-op mode which adds a little extra life expectancy, but ultimately we found this a gruelling experience, and not for the right reasons. It's basically an endurance test of how much repetitive action you can tolerate before stabbing a pen in your ear.
At least Sniper Elite had a slight stealth element to enliven its repetition and simplicity. This is one step removed from an on-rails shooter, or a Whack-A-Mole game that squirts ketchup out of the moles' faces every time you hit them.
SHITLER
All of that might've been just about bearable had Zombie Army Trilogy been a pretty game (prettiness being a relative concept when dealing with the undead, we suppose), but it isn't.
Graphics aren't everything, of course. It's just, had the environments been a little more engaging, a bit less like a six year-old game, and the zombies just that little bit less same-y, we might not have found it such a 40 foot tall RuPaul (an enormous drag).
Just like being dead, it's fun for about five minutes before the novelty wears off - and then you realise quite how dull and monotonous it's going to be.
SUMMARY: If you're not yet bored of zombies... this will solve all that.
SCORE: 11 out of ∞
All of that might've been just about bearable had Zombie Army Trilogy been a pretty game (prettiness being a relative concept when dealing with the undead, we suppose), but it isn't.
Graphics aren't everything, of course. It's just, had the environments been a little more engaging, a bit less like a six year-old game, and the zombies just that little bit less same-y, we might not have found it such a 40 foot tall RuPaul (an enormous drag).
Just like being dead, it's fun for about five minutes before the novelty wears off - and then you realise quite how dull and monotonous it's going to be.
SUMMARY: If you're not yet bored of zombies... this will solve all that.
SCORE: 11 out of ∞
RSS Feed
