We climbed mountains and raided tombs. We drove around in jeeps that felt as if they were going to fall apart at any second. We descended into bat caves, met a shape-shifting shaman, and caught a caiman for dinner with a bow and arrow. Our guide - an Amerindian chieftain - told us how he was descended from an eagle, and I got bitten by hundreds of tiny, razor-toothed, fish while taking a bath in a river.
There were also a bunch of things I did which wouldn't make for particularly gripping gameplay; like, using an entire packet of moist toilet wipes to have a nice wash one night after being bitten by hundreds of tiny, razor-toothed, fish. Being forced to wear a pair of ridiculously oversized comedy shorts, because I was too hot in my special jungle trousers. Having a conversation with the aforementioned Amerindian chieftain about the Ronnie Corbett-starring BBC sitcom Sorry...
I wish I could do something like that again - the memories will last my entire lifetime - but the reality is I don't think my ageing feet would be up to the task. Fortunately, I can have much the same experience thanks to Naughty Dog's Uncharted series.
In this latest instalment, there's even a mini game where your character has a wash with moist toilet wipes! Except: no there isn't.
Originally planned as DLC for Uncharted 4, before being upgraded to a standalone release, The Lost Legacy features several of Uncharted's secondary characters in yet another epic treasure-hunting lark.
Chloe Frazer is the playable character this time around - now that Nathan Drake has retired - with Nadine Ross her non-playable sidekick. Inevitably, they head out on an expedition to find some shiny things - this time in India.
From there, it plays out exactly like you'd expect: a stripped-back, more focused, version of Uncharted. It manages to be pretty much everything that Uncharted is... but less of it. Pluck out any one particular moment and there's nothing here that feels like DLC: it's finished, complete, and suitably epic.
A big chunk of the game takes place in a massive area based around India's Western Ghat mountains. Armed with a map, and travelling by jeep, you travel from ruins to ruins, ticking them off as you go in sequences which alternate between gun battles and puzzles. It adds more of an open world element to the series - almost, but not quite, going the full Ubisoft map-mopper.
In terms of things that are new, Frazer has a lock-picking skill - which works exactly like all the other games which feature lock-picking. Unfortunately, instead of opening up the game, it slows it down. You can't just open enemy weapons chests; now you have to pick the locks first. Every single time.
Silenced pistols also feature - a new addition to this franchise - but, again, hardly an innovation.
In most respects, The Lost Legacy is exactly what I expected. As a budget release (relatively speaking) there's a good 10-12 hours of single player gameplay here, plus access to the Uncharted 4 multiplayer.
But... there's no escaping that it feels like we're treading over old ground, albeit with a couple of main characters who aren't anywhere near as interesting or engaging as Nathan Drake. Naughty Dog's games are pretty unique in all of gaming, in that they're the only company which produces games that I play because I care about what happens to the characters in them.
In that respect, Naughty Dog has a good track record with its DLC. The two mini episodes from The Last Of Us managed to tell an emotionally engaging story that enriched the main game, while also doing new things with the gameplay.
That's sort of what I expected from The Lost Legacy. Unfortunately, while I get that we're dealing with much less game, the emotional stakes are far lower here, and there's less of an effort to make you like the characters. The relationship between Frazer and Ross just isn't as much fun as the banter between Drake and Sully.
Furthermore, I'm growing weary of jungles, forests and mountains and ruins. Yes, it all looks stunning, but... are these really the only environments the world has to offer game developers?
At one point in The Lost Legacy, a character mentions wanting to visit Iceland, and my hopes raised that - perhaps - we might actually get to see them fannying around on glaciers, and descending into a frozen crevice. That might've taken us out of the relentless greenery. But no.
If you just want climbing, swinging, shooting, driving, and solving repetitive, but simple, puzzles - then great; The Lost Legacy does all those things, and it does them as well as the series ever has. However, that isn't why I go to Uncharted games. For me, it is - and always has been - about the characters, and here the characters and story just aren't that interesting.
Bottom line: we've seen all this before, but it's polished and well-excecuted - as you'd expect. If you didn't get enough of Uncharted last time around, then you'll be wanting this.
It might seem unfair to criticise a solid game in comparison to the unprecedented quality of its predecessors, but Naughty Dog raised the bar when it came to story in games. Nonetheless, don't be surprised if Frazer and Ross fail to stick around in your affections the way Drake and Sully did.
SCORE: I dunno. You choose.