How do you review a games console in isolation, without mentioning the games? That'd be like reviewing a car that you haven't driven, or a sandwich for its aesthetic qualities alone.
Consequently, I cannot do that. Not now. Not ever. Please... please stop asking me. You'll get your Switch game reviews soon... but I've played four of them, and all have had an impact on how I view the system as a whole.
I've written a lot about the Switch in recent months. I was so disappointed by the Wii U, and Nintendo's handling of it, that it had coloured my overall sense of the company - and that colour was a deep brown. Also, while the Wii U had a bunch of rather splendid games, something was still missing for me.
I was hanging onto a lot of goodwill from the past, but my grip on it was starting to loosen. Making matters worse, I wasn't certain that Nintendo was succeeding in its Switch messaging.
In fact, I'm still not sure that it has.
Consequently, I cannot do that. Not now. Not ever. Please... please stop asking me. You'll get your Switch game reviews soon... but I've played four of them, and all have had an impact on how I view the system as a whole.
I've written a lot about the Switch in recent months. I was so disappointed by the Wii U, and Nintendo's handling of it, that it had coloured my overall sense of the company - and that colour was a deep brown. Also, while the Wii U had a bunch of rather splendid games, something was still missing for me.
I was hanging onto a lot of goodwill from the past, but my grip on it was starting to loosen. Making matters worse, I wasn't certain that Nintendo was succeeding in its Switch messaging.
In fact, I'm still not sure that it has.
USUALLY BUBBLE
Outside of your gamer bubble, how many people do you know who are aware of the Switch?
Think of the enormous media blitz which accompanies the launch of a new PlayStation. The Switch has been chronically low-key by comparison. I've got nephews who own Xboxes and PlayStations - the very definition of the casual gamer - and I doubt they even know the Switch exists.
The big question is whether that's a problem or not.
The answer is probably going to depend on whether the Switch contains enough crossover appeal, in the way the original Wii did - to get by on word of mouth - or whether it's enough for the company to merely have the Switch appeal to people who like Nintendo. At this stage... I don't know.
There are different ways of measuring success, but forget its impact on the wider market for now; arguably the most definitive measures in this instance are whether the machine is a success for the individual user, and for Nintendo. However Nintendo might quantify it.
I'm pretty certain that right now you can forget the big, big, console franchises appearing on the Switch. At least, in the form that that they appear on the PS4 and Xbox One.
If Zelda: Breath of the Wild is anything to go by, the machine wouldn't be able to handle something as graphically demanding and intense as a Call of Duty. Yes, it's early runnings, but we need to be realistic. The days are long gone when, say, the Super NES version of Street Fighter 2 was better than the version on the Mega Drive.
Outside of your gamer bubble, how many people do you know who are aware of the Switch?
Think of the enormous media blitz which accompanies the launch of a new PlayStation. The Switch has been chronically low-key by comparison. I've got nephews who own Xboxes and PlayStations - the very definition of the casual gamer - and I doubt they even know the Switch exists.
The big question is whether that's a problem or not.
The answer is probably going to depend on whether the Switch contains enough crossover appeal, in the way the original Wii did - to get by on word of mouth - or whether it's enough for the company to merely have the Switch appeal to people who like Nintendo. At this stage... I don't know.
There are different ways of measuring success, but forget its impact on the wider market for now; arguably the most definitive measures in this instance are whether the machine is a success for the individual user, and for Nintendo. However Nintendo might quantify it.
I'm pretty certain that right now you can forget the big, big, console franchises appearing on the Switch. At least, in the form that that they appear on the PS4 and Xbox One.
If Zelda: Breath of the Wild is anything to go by, the machine wouldn't be able to handle something as graphically demanding and intense as a Call of Duty. Yes, it's early runnings, but we need to be realistic. The days are long gone when, say, the Super NES version of Street Fighter 2 was better than the version on the Mega Drive.
SURPRISE!
So here's the thing that has really surprised me about the Switch, and what's troubling me about Nintendo's messaging: it's a handheld. Admittedly, it's the most powerful handheld games machine ever created, but it is - nevertheless - more a part of the Game Boy lineage, with a bit of NES DNA thrown into the mix.
The docking station works just fine - and it's a more or less seamless transition between the TV and holding the thing in your hands (although detaching the JoyCon controllers is slightly more fiddly than I'd have liked). But... it reminds me of the Super Game Boy - the old Super NES add-on, which allowed you to play Game Boy games on your telly.
Unfortunately, most of what Nintendo has told us seems to point towards it being a regular console, which is also portable. Admittedly, it's not quite a straightforward handheld either, but it's closer to that than a PlayStation or Xbox.
Indeed, I've played it only once on the TV since it arrived on Friday, and it hasn't been back in its cradle. I've not even used the Pro Controller, which feels like a waste of £65. Yes - £65!! The JoyCon pads work just fine, whether they're detached and being used separately, or docked; I was half expecting my banana-like fingers to swallow them up, but there's something charmingly old-school about them. They're very Nintendo. Actually, the best thing add-on I bought for the Switch is an extra power adaptor.
Unlike the handhelds we've had before, the Switch also excels when it comes to multiplayer party-style games. Snipperclips, Bomberman and 1-2-Switch work great when the JoyCons are being used by a couple of players, and the screen is propped up on a table. Indeed, on Friday night the kids had a blast playing 1-2-Switch, with it stood on a coffee table - once I showed them what it was.
It's a shame, therefore, that the stand which folds out from the rear of the Switch is so darn flimsy; it's almost impossible to flick it out without the thing coming free. It snaps back into place easily enough, but it's one of the few aspects of the Switch which feels cheap. I'd also have liked some sort of screen protector, akin to Apple's iPad cover.
Like an itchy boy, it feels like it's asking to be scratched.
So here's the thing that has really surprised me about the Switch, and what's troubling me about Nintendo's messaging: it's a handheld. Admittedly, it's the most powerful handheld games machine ever created, but it is - nevertheless - more a part of the Game Boy lineage, with a bit of NES DNA thrown into the mix.
The docking station works just fine - and it's a more or less seamless transition between the TV and holding the thing in your hands (although detaching the JoyCon controllers is slightly more fiddly than I'd have liked). But... it reminds me of the Super Game Boy - the old Super NES add-on, which allowed you to play Game Boy games on your telly.
Unfortunately, most of what Nintendo has told us seems to point towards it being a regular console, which is also portable. Admittedly, it's not quite a straightforward handheld either, but it's closer to that than a PlayStation or Xbox.
Indeed, I've played it only once on the TV since it arrived on Friday, and it hasn't been back in its cradle. I've not even used the Pro Controller, which feels like a waste of £65. Yes - £65!! The JoyCon pads work just fine, whether they're detached and being used separately, or docked; I was half expecting my banana-like fingers to swallow them up, but there's something charmingly old-school about them. They're very Nintendo. Actually, the best thing add-on I bought for the Switch is an extra power adaptor.
Unlike the handhelds we've had before, the Switch also excels when it comes to multiplayer party-style games. Snipperclips, Bomberman and 1-2-Switch work great when the JoyCons are being used by a couple of players, and the screen is propped up on a table. Indeed, on Friday night the kids had a blast playing 1-2-Switch, with it stood on a coffee table - once I showed them what it was.
It's a shame, therefore, that the stand which folds out from the rear of the Switch is so darn flimsy; it's almost impossible to flick it out without the thing coming free. It snaps back into place easily enough, but it's one of the few aspects of the Switch which feels cheap. I'd also have liked some sort of screen protector, akin to Apple's iPad cover.
Like an itchy boy, it feels like it's asking to be scratched.
PULLING
The Switch's relative lack of console-competing power is no more apparent than in Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which was thrown into stark contrast for me, because I came to it just moments after playing the similarly open-world Horizon Zero Dawn.
I've read a lot of reviews of Breath of the Wild which talk about how beautiful it is. And it is a beautiful game. No question.
Indeed, it's exactly what I ranted about recently, in my review of For Honor - about photorealistic graphics versus more stylised, curated, visuals. That's exactly what Zelda does, with Nintendo using the game to prove that maybe you don't need to be the most powerful machine to deliver the best-looking games. Which is fine if that's what the masses want, but my concern is that I'm not sure it is.
Thus far I love Zelda, but in the harsh light of Zero Dawn it serves only to highlight that the Switch doesn't have the same level of graphical clout. It becomes more problematic still when playing on the TV, where I noticed the game slow down more than once.
Are the PS4 and Xbox One even rivals to the Switch anyway? I think this is where Nintendo's messaging has fallen down... because it's only now that I've played on it that it's clear Nintendo is doing something profoundly different.
It isn't really trying to compete with Sony and Microsoft, but I worry that most potential punters won't see it that way. Because of that, it risks getting left behind in a three-horse race.
The Switch's relative lack of console-competing power is no more apparent than in Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which was thrown into stark contrast for me, because I came to it just moments after playing the similarly open-world Horizon Zero Dawn.
I've read a lot of reviews of Breath of the Wild which talk about how beautiful it is. And it is a beautiful game. No question.
Indeed, it's exactly what I ranted about recently, in my review of For Honor - about photorealistic graphics versus more stylised, curated, visuals. That's exactly what Zelda does, with Nintendo using the game to prove that maybe you don't need to be the most powerful machine to deliver the best-looking games. Which is fine if that's what the masses want, but my concern is that I'm not sure it is.
Thus far I love Zelda, but in the harsh light of Zero Dawn it serves only to highlight that the Switch doesn't have the same level of graphical clout. It becomes more problematic still when playing on the TV, where I noticed the game slow down more than once.
Are the PS4 and Xbox One even rivals to the Switch anyway? I think this is where Nintendo's messaging has fallen down... because it's only now that I've played on it that it's clear Nintendo is doing something profoundly different.
It isn't really trying to compete with Sony and Microsoft, but I worry that most potential punters won't see it that way. Because of that, it risks getting left behind in a three-horse race.
DIE-HARD
Should you buy a Switch now? If you're not a die-hard Nintendo fan, I'd suggest seeing how you feel around Christmas, when the price drops inevitably, and after Mario Odyssey has been released.
Do you need one if you're a Wii U owner? Again, probably not - unless you really, really want to play Breath of the Wild on the train (though battery life, I've discovered, really isn't great).
Overall though, I'm impressed, but not in the way I expected. The Switch is so different to anything that has come before it, that it remains to be seen whether it can convey this to potential customers. And then whether it's even what those customers even want what's being offered. Like virtual reality, it is incredibly cool technology, and already is being utilised in fun, tell-your-mates-about-it, ways. I just want it to be seen as more than the novelty that I fear VR is becoming.
There are some issues with the design of the hardware - certain corners which feel like they've been cut. Plus, this is Nintendo once again defying the rest of the industry's endless quest for processing power. It is making a bold statement about game design, and gameplay, over and above everything else.
By including two controllers, and by making it portable, and by launching it with a game - 1-2-Switch, which really should've been bundled with the hardware - Nintendo is demanding that players converse, or look one another in the eye. In fact, it almost feels as if Nintendo is trying to teach the rest of the games industry an important lesson, stating that it has lost its way and its humanity.
Snipperclips is yet another demonstration of this philosophy, being a game which requires players to communicate in the real world, in order to succeed. Although, when my other half and I played it in bed the other night, we had a big argument, and I went to sleep sulking.
For me, domestic rattles aside, this is the success of the Switch at this stage; there's something warm about it, something which puts social connection at its heart - and not the kind of connection which happens online, behind screens.
SUMMARY: The jury is still out, and it isn't perfect, but there's something very lovely about the Switch.
Should you buy a Switch now? If you're not a die-hard Nintendo fan, I'd suggest seeing how you feel around Christmas, when the price drops inevitably, and after Mario Odyssey has been released.
Do you need one if you're a Wii U owner? Again, probably not - unless you really, really want to play Breath of the Wild on the train (though battery life, I've discovered, really isn't great).
Overall though, I'm impressed, but not in the way I expected. The Switch is so different to anything that has come before it, that it remains to be seen whether it can convey this to potential customers. And then whether it's even what those customers even want what's being offered. Like virtual reality, it is incredibly cool technology, and already is being utilised in fun, tell-your-mates-about-it, ways. I just want it to be seen as more than the novelty that I fear VR is becoming.
There are some issues with the design of the hardware - certain corners which feel like they've been cut. Plus, this is Nintendo once again defying the rest of the industry's endless quest for processing power. It is making a bold statement about game design, and gameplay, over and above everything else.
By including two controllers, and by making it portable, and by launching it with a game - 1-2-Switch, which really should've been bundled with the hardware - Nintendo is demanding that players converse, or look one another in the eye. In fact, it almost feels as if Nintendo is trying to teach the rest of the games industry an important lesson, stating that it has lost its way and its humanity.
Snipperclips is yet another demonstration of this philosophy, being a game which requires players to communicate in the real world, in order to succeed. Although, when my other half and I played it in bed the other night, we had a big argument, and I went to sleep sulking.
For me, domestic rattles aside, this is the success of the Switch at this stage; there's something warm about it, something which puts social connection at its heart - and not the kind of connection which happens online, behind screens.
SUMMARY: The jury is still out, and it isn't perfect, but there's something very lovely about the Switch.
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