Sorry to whip out my "political Percy", but Britain is once again shambling towards a pointless conflict that seems unlikely to be able to avoid collateral damage - a political and military euphemism for killing people who just happen to get in the way.
But hey - that's ok... because terrorists and refugees and that. Obviously, the only logical way to achieve an enduring peace is to teach those sand-eating primitives that the best solution for violence is even more violence, with a side order of massive hypocrisy. Make the punishment fit the crime - with bells on!
It's proven to work. Remember how they stopped the Yorkshire Ripper by setting fire to his house, with 400 members of his extended family inside (first making sure all the valuables were removed from the house, and sold off to pay for a slap-up lunch - after all, it wasn't like they were going to need them after they'd all been burned to a crisp... ha ha ha!)?
Except: we haven't come a long way since he did that.
Britain is still labouring under an outdated imperialist delusion - part racism, part greed, part macho posturing. We're trapped in a blind cycle of violence that makes me ashamed to share DNA with our leaders. For as long as this disgusting nonsense endures, it can only end in tears.
I mean, it's alright for David Cameron - that pudding-faced, alleged porcine lothario is going to spend the remainder of his life driving around in bullet-proof cars, surrounded by armed security guards. He probably has better things to do than go to Parisian rock concerts.
The rest of us have to live in the real world, and risk our loved ones going out into it, never knowing when one of us might reap the consequences of political hubris. I guess that makes all of us terrorist sympathisers in Cameron's eyes.
Just Cause 3 is as good a demonstration as any of the imprecise nature of high explosives (perhaps they should make a special version of it for our leaders, but replace all the enemy's faces with those of politicians' children).
Just as in real life "battles", your explosives frequently take out both bystanders and your supposed allies, as well as yourself - more often than not because your destruction has a sort of pyrotechnic domino-effect. It's a game that rewards chaos, urging you to blow up as much of your enemy's infrastructure as possible.
Best of all, it's pretty democratic in how it let's you do that. Aside from the usual guns, grenades, and remote control explosives, the series' iconic grappling hook has been given a major upgrade. Now it's more than a tool for rappelling around the world - you can tether objects and opponents together. Retracting those tethers is where the fun starts.
Need to destroy an oil refinery? Try attaching two storage tanks together, and then contracting the tether so that they crash into one another. Want to launch an opponent into space? Tether him to a gas cylinder, shoot it - and watch him soar off into the ether. Want to attach a goat to a helicopter? Sure you do. Well, this is your game.
It's exhilarating and hysterical.
Indeed, Just Cause 3 might be the most videogame-y triple-A video game released this year.
There are no flailing, embarrassing, sixth form-level attempts at narrative or character depth. It just wants you to switch off your mind, and float downstream. Or, rather, jump off a cliff, and glide over an enemy base while raining destruction down upon it.
It's utterly unpretentious, and though - superficially - protagonist Rico Rodriguez resembles every other male video games character from the last few years (from his designer stubble, to alpha male shoulders, to his tight sweater and that pointless harness thing he wears), there's no effort made to get inside his head.
Instead, the game gives you a bunch of toys from the very off, dumps you on a Mediterranean island full of things that go boom, and let's you play. Admittedly, there's the gossamer-thin trace of a story - you're liberating the island from the forces of some absurd general character - but it doesn't insult your intelligence by trying to pretend it's anything deeper than it is.
Inevitably, Just Cause 3 does much that all the other open-world games do: the story missions are broken-up with as many side missions, and other distractions as you might want. The usual races, base-takeovers and the like provide rewards which allow you to upgrade your gear.
However, the key tools in your arsenal remain the ones you start out with: the grappling hook, the parachute, and the new wing suit. By using all three in unison, grappling and gliding remains the best way to get around the island - driving and flying are something that will often be forced upon you, but they're nowhere near as satisfying.
Unfortunately, this also means that the game fails to develop. How you begin is much how you end up. Variety is not the strength of Just Cause 3, and if you're playing this like Far Cry 4, or an Assassin's Creed, you're going to end up bored. It's best consumed in bite-sized chunks.
Doing this will also help you overlook the game's rougher tassels...
Just Cause 3 is not a great looking game. Character models, buildings, the landscape, would all look distinctly last-gen, were it not for their crispness.
Everything comes to life when things are exploding, and buildings are collapsing, but this isn't going to be a game that anybody shows to their mates as an example of current-gen tech.
Not least because any such demonstration would also be hamstrung by the frequent loading screens, which serve to suck any momentum built up by the gameplay mechanics. For a game that revels in immediacy and instant gratification, it's shocking how long you sometimes have to sit as it loads between missions, cut-scenes, and deaths.
There are other frustrations: running isn't as fast as it could've been (through grappling along the ground does ameliorate this to a degree), your character can't clamber over low walls, and getting stuck at the bottom of a cliff - with your objective at the top - is a tedious slog. Also, the lack of a mini-map makes reaching your goals more a case of trial-and-error than it needed to have been.
Just Cause 3 had potential, and is massive fun in smaller doses, but is let down by technical issues, and the lack of a final couple of coats of polish. It also doesn't help that it is yet another open world game, set on yet another island, with you taking out the forces of some comic book-style oppressor.
However, it doesn't have ideals above its station, and doesn't remotely take itself seriously, but there's no escaping that it's further evidence that gaming is woefully short on inspiration at the moment - both in terms of story, setting, and genre. It's becoming a major issue. Not as major an issue as our politicians dragging us into yet another war, admittedly, but bad enough.
SUMMARY: A big, broken, mess of a game, with really big explosions, that can be massive fun when consumed in small doses.
SCORE: 6.7121 WARS OUT OF 10.