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REVIEW-IN-PROGRESS: RESIDENT EVIL VII (PSVR)

25/1/2017

40 Comments

 
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Nobody really likes being sick. If you throw up, something has gone very badly wrong. You're ill, physically or mentally, or you've had too much to drink.

The most I ever threw up in one sitting - more a hunching - was when I was 18. I'd been to the pub with a friend, and gotten a little carried away. When I returned home, I ate a 12 pack of Walkers crisps, and almost immediately upon swallowing the final crisp, I regurgitated the entire lot onto my bedroom floor.

Small mercies; my room was in the process of being redecorated. I was sleeping on a mattress, on a bare hardwood floor. This meant that there wasn't a great deal of height to my hurl - so no real splatter pattern - and no carpet to absorb any of the vom. Instead, it lay there on the floor, a beige cone of pulped Walkers, in roughly the circumference of a 12-inch single. I remember it came to a pleasing point, like a pinched turd.

In my profoundly addled state, I went and got a towel from the bathroom, in a hamfisted attempt to dry-mop the mess. I succeeded only in smearing it around the hardwood. Further towels - every towel in the bathroom, in fact - were required to remove the last of the spew, but this resulted in the unpleasant realisation that I now had half a dozen towels full of potato crisp-ruminate.

Unfortunately, I had no idea how to use the washing machine - doing so would've only raised suspicion in any event - so I hit upon a slick plan to hide the evidence of my drinking. Stark naked, I walked downstairs, straight past my father - who was busy watching TV, oblivious to his drunk, nude spawn - half a dozen heavy puke-towels in my arms. I strode confidently into the garden, and threw the lot over the fence into next door.

​Not an easy task; the waist-high fence had recently been replaced with a six foot-high one, after Mr Benson had accused my sister of setting fire to his garden.

Head throbbing, I was woken early the next morning by my irate mother, wanting to know why all of our towels were hanging, encrusted in barf, from Mr Benson's apple tree. I was then forced to endure the further indignity of retrieving the towels with a broom, while standing on a chair.

​Stick with me. This is all relevant. 
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NOT PLAYED
I've not played on my PlayStation VR since, I dunno... last year some time.

In fact, there are many games I own for it which I've not even touched; Arkham VR, Robinson The Journey... I've not even played the Star Wars Battlefront VR Mission.

Reason? Well... I'd disconnected the VR headset. All those wires... all that plugging bits in... it was just enough of a faff that I couldn't be bothered setting it up... and then putting everything away again (well, dumping it in a pile next to the TV) to play non-VR stuff. 

It was exactly what I predicted would happen all those months ago; as cool as virtual reality is, there's a barrier of faffing between it and the player which risks your VR headset gathering dust. And when I say "your" I mean "my". But probably yours as well. It's universal, guy!

​Heck, even after having loved the Resident Evil Kitchen demo... I still couldn't be bothered with plugging it all in to play Resident Evil VII when it arrived yesterday.

But... I played the first minute of Resi VII on the TV... and changed my mind. I thought I should make the sacrifice for you, my sweet ones.

With a big sigh - which my other half likened to the noise I make when DIY needs doing - I performed the VR Faff-Dance. I untangled wires. Plugged it in. Tried to work out why the camera wasn't working. Got the camera working. Then had a stressful 15 minutes of adjusting the helmet for the optimum position, and trying to stop the lenses misting up. 

And then I was into the game. An hour later I regretted it. 

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IN THE DARK
So... everything I've seen of Resident Evil VII thus far has been in VR. I've only played an hour or so - the reasons will soon become clear - but it's impressive.

Admittedly, the resolution is dreadful - particularly during the opening few minutes, where you're outside in broad daylight, wandering through a swamp.

Matters improve somewhat once you're alone in the dark, so to speak. Like the original RE, most of the game appears to be set in one ill-lit location (albeit one that, even at this early stage, appears to be fairly sprawling) - illuminating your path with a little torch.

The resolution kind of doesn't matter, really, as the graphics - and the way they're deployed - are decent and evocative enough in their own right. In the same way we could at one time see beyond low-res polygons, we can - whatever frame-rate and 4K graphics tarts tell you - forget about the low resolution.

Many of the unintentional hallmarks of the series are here; the acting is melodramatic, the characters don't speak like real people... The story, such as it is thus far, has you in the role of protective feller off in search of his girlfriend, who went missing three years ago. Down with the patriarchy!

Yes, yes - it's one of those stories. Alas, despite thinking she's been dead all this time, his reaction to receiving a mysterious email telling him that she's still alive on a farm in Louisiana, has about as much drama and gravitas as if he'd been called by his daughter's school, and informed that she's left her PE kit at home.

For all that, when it isn't being weird, Resi 7 feels new and classic at the same time. Switching the traditional third-person Resi gameplay to first-person makes complete sense. 

Many of the hallmarks of the series have been stripped back to basics - at least, in the first hour. It's essentially an extended exercise in tension, with a few - somewhat predictable - jump scares thrown in. Interaction with the world has been kept to a minimum (supposedly there's combat later on - but I've yet to encounter any). Mostly you move, and pick things up. 

One thing I don't like is how there's also a slightly annoying fade to black before scripted movements - such as climbing onto a ladder, or squeezing through a gap. Given the immersion that's otherwise in effect, it's a shame that this pulled me out of it. 

I was also disappointed that there's no option to use the motion controllers - which would've made me feel like less of a passenger - but the Dualshock works fine, and probably helps keep nausea at bay.

​Well, to a point...

TWEAK AT THE KNEES
So. That there VR mode then.

There are a number of ways to tweak the controls for optimum comfort. Early on I ditched the default movement option - your lateral movement coming in sharp jumps - in favour of the more natural "smooth" movement. Within a couple of minutes I felt sick and turned the jerky movement option back on. This was fine for the next half an hour or so... and then the nausea returned. Bigly.

Frustratingly, I'd found one save point, but wasn't sure whether there were autosaves - the memory of the distant save points in past Resident Evil games still haunts me - so I pushed on, every well of light promising a save point which never came.

45 minutes in and I was sweating heavily, fighting a losing battle against throwing up. An hour in, and still no save point (I've since learned that there are autosaves), and I had to take the headset off.

Another 30 seconds and I'd have hurled.

​The feeling eased after approximately 14 minutes, but the rest of the evening was spent with a sort of low-lying queasiness.
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GO BAAAAAAACK!
When I go back to Resident Evil VII to finish reviewing it, I'll be playing it on the TV.

​Everything so far suggests it's a great experience - and the way it works in VR is fantastic, providing you don't feel sick. It's not the game which is a let down, but the technology.

Or maybe it is the game mixed with the technology; perhaps we need VR games which work best in shorter bursts. I dunno.

That said, clearly, it has been a while since I've played in VR - I'm pretty sure I'd built up some resistance to it last year - and not every game has made me feel this way.

Plus, some people don't have the sensitivity to VR which I seem to. It's weird to me, because I'm fine with rollercoasters and motion simulators. As I've previously said, I love the VR experience. It's a theme park in your home, and I feel like I'm missing out. It's like not being able to get to the end of Disneyland's Main Street USA without vomiting into a bin.

And that's bad news for VR. Part of why I barely drink alcohol anymore is because I don't like the feeling. I don't like feeling wobbly and light-headed, and I don't like the hangovers, and I don't like feeling sick. At this stage, following my experience last night, I'm rather flaccid at the thought of playing anything in VR ever again.

Full review to follow!

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
THE FACES I PULLED WHILE PLAYING THE RESIDENT EVIL 7 DEMO (PS4) - AS ILLUSTRATED BY BABIES SUCKING ON LEMONS AND LIMES
10 VIDEO GAME QUOTES WRONGLY ATTRIBUTED TO JEREMY CORBYN
10 STUPIDEST ITEMS OF VIDEO GAME MERCHANDISE
10 VIDEO GAME CONTROVERSIES


40 Comments
"Steve"
25/1/2017 11:51:07 am

I'll buy all the VR gubbins from you Mr B!

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Niall
25/1/2017 02:01:31 pm

I'll go one better and take it off your hands for free, then you won't have to go to the bother of providing your payment details to me.

Reply
Gosunkugi
25/1/2017 04:19:21 pm

I'll see that, and raise you. You can just leave all the stuff in a pile in the street outside your house, then you don't even have to ask me for my address.

Don't worry about your address, I know where you live, ha ha.

Wretched Elvin
25/1/2017 11:51:48 am

I REALLY want to play Thumper and Rez, and possibly this, and nothing else! In my head I was picturing a fancy one-piece wireless helmet so it's a bit disconcerting to hear VR is such a pain in the rear to set up and have around and that

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King of Duckhenrys
25/1/2017 12:40:55 pm

I'm a Resi tart.

I loved the games up to RE4, but I'm awful at the combat. I use up all my ammo immediately missing the damn zombie until it's 2 feet away. The only way I could unlock enjoyment of them was to go Chester Cheat-O and use an Action Replay on my Gamecube.

I love the exploration and the puzzles (and the jump-scares), but the constant dying is not so much fun. Which is probably the opposite of what everyone else loves.

I guess that's why I really liked Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, because apart from the occasional scary-baby chase, the focus was on exploring and puzzle solving in a creepy atmosphere.

The last 2 Resi games left me cold - dull 3rd person shooters with no atmosphere. I got bored with RE6 long before I got stuck at any one point.

So I guess the point of this ramble is - from what has been seen so far, is VII a game suitable for a Resi tart? Or should only the hardcore apply?

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Zombiekicker
25/1/2017 01:00:56 pm

I have a,serious question for once, due to having a duel with a Russian fencing teacher in the 90s I only have one good eye, will vr work with one eye, answers on non 3d paper please

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Sowb
25/1/2017 01:35:23 pm

Definitely try before you buy, but I have one dodgy eye, 3D movies and that don't work for me, but VR does - I think because both eyes see more or less the same image? You will probably lose some depth perception, but will still be immersive.

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Zombiekicker
25/1/2017 02:51:57 pm

Cheers I think I should try it first and see

Neilo
25/1/2017 01:15:55 pm

Any chance you could brighten up the font Mr. B? Makes it s bit hard to read on my phone at least. Keep up the great work!

Reply
Mr Biffo
25/1/2017 01:18:10 pm

Ah... this is an ongoing issue. When I've gone with full white on the black background it has been even more of a strain on the eyes. When I floated the idea of switching to white on a black background people felt it wasn't "Digitiser-ish" enough. So... I'm open to suggestions!

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RichardM
25/1/2017 01:47:18 pm

Yellow on black? Like a bee, y'know? Bees are pretty easy to see.

Spangles
25/1/2017 02:07:03 pm

How about an option to change the colour? To any of the colours in the teletext spectrum

Spangles
25/1/2017 02:39:06 pm

omg how about you have to press red yellow green or blue, just like we are bending to the whim of notorious taskmaster Bamber Boozler?

Zombiekicker
25/1/2017 02:52:55 pm

Pink and purple all the way

DEAN
25/1/2017 04:07:21 pm

Every now and then I get a glimpse of what this site would look like in black on white. WAY better, I reckon.

Also, the logo looks a bit blurry. Works quite nice on your Twitter feed because it gives it a nice depth of field effect but here it just looks... a bit 'soft' and 'dirty'.

Whilst I'm at it - when the comments section gets too long... say past 20 comments, it could do with a new page really. I appreciate that may be a limitation of the template but... tsk.

Lastly, having to faff-in for each and every comment is a bind.

But I'll live with it all for the sweet content. Like a bear being stung in the face by bees.

RichardM
25/1/2017 04:09:56 pm

Pink and purple and <marquee> and animated GIFs: just like God intended.

Optic Oliver
25/1/2017 04:46:37 pm

Black on white is a glare-y headache

Starbuck
25/1/2017 08:51:16 pm

Black on grey-ish white, ZX Spectrum-style.

(With a FLASH BORDER effect; or even better, loading screen border and data cacophony)

Euphemia
26/1/2017 03:56:50 am

Looks fine, ignore these bell-ends.

DEAN
26/1/2017 09:59:19 am

It doesn't look fine, you ball-bag.

At best - a generous stretch - it looks shit in a charming way.

At worst - it looks like it fell over in dog shit and its mum tried a spot-clean with a Wet One. And every f@cking time I glance at that logo it feels like that dog shit is working like a charm on my eyes.

Euphemia
26/1/2017 01:06:14 pm

Looks fine. Sort your eyes.

DEAN
26/1/2017 01:28:28 pm

Doesn't. Sort your screen.

That could be it! Retina display making everything look shit.

Chris
26/1/2017 11:15:04 pm

I like the white-on-black, it's quite restful on the eyes. Would be easier to read with a chunky teletextesque font though. Also, I worry that when I'm reading it at work it looks like a porn site from a distance. This is helped by inclusion of frequent teletext penises.

Ben
25/1/2017 01:54:34 pm

According to someone I know who worked on a PSVR title, your resistance to nausea can be title-specific. So even if you've spent hours on Game A and got used to it, when you start playing Game B (with a different type of movement) you will be back to square one in terms of acclimatising yourself.

Also, since Resi wasn't designed as a purely VR game, I wonder if it's worse than most VR-only titles. Moving the player's viewpoint around in a way that doesn't match their body movement is always going to be a nausea risk.

Reply
Zombiekicker
25/1/2017 02:54:25 pm

My resistance to nausea is governed by alcohol

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Sordid whelk
25/1/2017 02:13:19 pm

I wonder if your queasiness is the result of staring at low resolution locations close up? I think it might make a difference in VR as it's literally all you can see, and your eyes will be straining more trying to make things out

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John Veness
25/1/2017 02:33:58 pm

Never mind all that, is it just me that loves that Biffo called us his "sweet ones"? :-)

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Zombiekicker
25/1/2017 02:54:56 pm

Argghhh

Reply
Mr Biffo
26/1/2017 08:00:10 am

8-O

Arnold
25/1/2017 08:08:33 pm

"Gotten"

What the fuck?

Reply
Barry Blamalow
25/1/2017 09:48:13 pm

The low resolution of VR games, mentioned here, is the exact reason that put me off getting the PSVR.

When I tried it out for the first time it was like "oh, this is what it looks like? I'll probably not bother then."

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MrPSB
26/1/2017 12:23:51 am

I agree entirely that feeling sick is the goddamn worst.

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Adam
26/1/2017 02:30:32 am

What flavour were the twelve bags of crisps that made you sick? All the same or mixed?

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MrPSB
26/1/2017 06:32:16 am

I'm guessing all ready salted, any other flavour is too orangey (interesting) for crows (Mr Biffo).

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Mr Biffo
26/1/2017 07:59:45 am

Mixed variety bag of the three primary flavours.

Geebs
26/1/2017 08:48:58 pm

If you'd gone for chicken flavour, you'd have upchucked in three bags or fewer. Don't ask me how I know.

Keith
26/1/2017 08:20:26 am

When I played the demo of resident evil, I found that a really good way of avoiding sickness was to not use the stick to turn your body in game, but to actually turn yourself (either on a rotating chair or playing standing up) - if your camera is well positioned, it'll track you wherever you're facing. It's only the lateral movement and rotation that causes me motion sickness, so doing that made it a pleasure to play.
I was never a big early adopter, but I gave VR the time to get my legs, and am glad I did. It's like I've stepped back a generation in terms of graphics, but the immersion makes up for it.

Grab yourself a copy of werewolves Within, Mr Biffo, there's no movement in it so you won't get motion sick. And it's probably a better indicator of the types of unexpected things that VR can do really well

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Virtual Edwin
26/1/2017 09:10:40 am

Isn't Werewolves Within just virtually sitting around a campfire?

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Keith
26/1/2017 10:53:03 am

It is that, but so much more. Play a couple of games of it and you'll be sucked in

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Spiney O'Sullivan
26/1/2017 08:06:06 pm

So far every review of a VR game that I've read is "pretty neat but movement basically only works if you use a control scheme where the actual movement is minimised, and everything within a ten-meter radius of me is covered in sick".

I feel like all those William Gibson characters would seem a lot less cool if we'd known that their sweet leather trenchcoats were actually covered in the half-digested remains of their cyberpunk lunch.

Reply



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