Digitiser2000's Mr Biffo went to Athens some years ago, where he visited the Acropolis. Alas, the early signs of the country's current woes were all too apparent even then.
The people were lovely, but they desperately needed to do something about their organisation and infrastructure. Getting into the ancient site was akin to a particularly contentious rugby scrum, and once you got through the gate there were scrawny wild dogs roaming all over the place.
Imagine that at one of our tourist attractions, like Madame Tussauds. Would roaming packs of savage hounds improve a wax museum? It's unlikely, though if they were feral it might add a certain frisson of excitement. Admittedly, the threat of getting rabies while you posed next to a glass-eyed effigy of lovely Harry Styles might bring in a rougher, extreme sports sort of a crowd, but it might also thin out the tourists a bit.
If you've somehow missed out on the God of War series, here's a quick recap: the game opens with you, as Kratos, son of Zeus, attempting to get revenge on your dad and his Olympian mates, by assaulting their fairy cloud-palace with an army of colossal titans.
It throws you immediately into the action, ascending the improbable mountain on the back of a giant stone creature, swinging your chain-swords around at skeletons and centaurs, firing off spells, solving simple, pull-the-lever/position-the-block puzzles, and... that. Gradually, Kratos will upgrade his abilities, and acquire new weapons. You know the sort of thing.
However, what God of War 3 does better than so many other slash 'em ups - indeed, most anything 'em ups - is sheer scale: at points the camera swings and lurches like a drunk in a kebab shop, encompassing the full panorama of the chaos, and reducing you to a tiny speck on the screen. Frequently, you'll find yourself fighting nausea and vertigo as much as demigods and demons.
In terms of how it stacks up against other games, this is in a camp with Bayonetta and Devil May Cry - kinetic, arcade-y combat, dripping with extreme and imaginative art design. However, this time around we were struck by some superficial similarities to Dark Souls and Bloodborne. For our money though - and we know it isn't a popular opinion - God of War 3 is far more accessible, and much more fun as a result.
It can feel a touch relentless, a touch repetitive, but it's so damn playable that you can forgive that. Instead of claustrophobia and grind it has epic scope, empowering the player from the off, inviting them in.
Of course, this is a remaster... so what's new, Pussycles? Basically, nothing, beyond a faintly pointless screenshot feature, and the expected enhanced graphics.
Unfortunately, that enhancement doesn't stretch far beyond the HD visuals and an improved framerate - the actual graphics haven't been so much as guffed on, and at times there's no real getting away from the fact this is a five year-old game... however good it might've looked upon its first release. Also, we wouldn't have minded a bit of attention being paid to the camera system. There were slightly too many instances of our view of the action being blocked due to the fixed perspective.
Consequently, it can't match some of the more recent PS4 titles in terms of visuals, and however much polish you give the existing graphics, there's no real pretending that this is a next-gen game.
Nonetheless, good is good, and it's hard to find real fault with God of War. It might not be the deepest or smartest game, but it has playability in spades. It boasts an engaging - if morally dubious - lead character, and the Greek mythology makes for compelling jumping off-point for the story and design.
It's just a shame they missed a trick by not replacing Kratos with outgoing Greek finance minister Yanis Varoufakis, and your opponents with Angela Merkel, and the heads of the IMF and ECB.
SCORE: €130 BILLION out of €150 BILLION